Nomadic techno-gypsy Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 So for the past few years since my deconversion (at age 18-19, came out to my family/friends at age 21) I've been living on the road, traveling with renaissance festivals, and not having to deal with Christians so much, aside from the occasional encounter with people in town or those who come to the ren faire to evangelize. My folks and I have made ammends (it got real rough when I came out that not only was I not a Christian, but I wasn't a republican, or a virgin either, lol), and we are now on really good terms. We just don't discuss religion/politics a lot. . .we've agreed to disagree...they hold hands and pray over their meals, and I hold hands and sit in silent deferral. They don't try and convince me of the errors of my ways (only occasionally saying that they're praying for me) and I don't try and convince them that they're deluded. But living on the road, it's hard to stay in touch with people, so I finally broke down and revived my old facebook account. Now my wall is filled from top to bottom with friends from church talking about how much gawd loves them and how much they love him back. . .no offense, everybody has the right to think/believe what they want, but it seems like so much "fake it 'till you make it". . .reassuring themselves and each other that they have the Right Faith, in the True God. Over the past few years, it's become easier and more natural to just be me, without having to hide the fact that I'm a mystic atheist. And so when something happens that I'm happy about, I post it (e.g. I'm going to Camp Gaea, a clothing-optional pagan commune, to work/live for a while this summer). . .*awkward silence* Or how about working with legal medical cannabis growers for 3 months out of the year? It's great pay, relaxed environment (thanks to Obama calling off the feds), and I'm helping people. . .yet my christian acquaintances just pm me asking how I could turn my back on our loving lord and saviour (blah blah blah...) and let me know they're praying that I'm released from the grips of satan who has so blinded me as to lead me down a path of sexual debauchery and drugs. *sigh* Just needed to rant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 Yeah, I'm having the same issue. I don't want to be an asshole and start deleting friends and family when they aren't evangelizing me, but like you my page is filled every day with "please pray for..." and "god has provided" and rants about abortion and the godless president that I'm swimming in spam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RabbleRabble Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 Ugh. I have the same problem. I got back into facebook so that I could easily share pictures and keep in touch with my sister, but people from my old church keep sending me friend invites and posting the most irritating stuff. A day won't go by without someone posting about a "miracle", god's love, the evil abortionists, evil democrats, and how great Glenn Beck is. I logged on the other day to see a nasty little post about how all atheists are corrupt fools. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 Yeah, it must suck royally to have to weed your way through all that garbage to get to something worthwhile on your Facebook account. That's one of the reasons why I don't want to get a Facebook account. Most of my family and friends are Christian, and I'd be seeing comments like that all the time. I'd also feel like I wouldn't be able to really be me on my own Facebook, because I wouldn't want to offend all those religious acquaintances and have them all pouncing on me with their drivel (albeit well-intentioned drivel, of course). I also don't want yet another thing to tie up time for me. I've already got my job, family, email, a few message boards and my music hobby to keep up with, so that's another reason for me to avoid Facebook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ephymeris Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 I usually give my facebook friends a trial period. If they start spamming me with christian propaganda, I just delete them. Of course that's more difficult if they are your family...I just block family type people from certain portions of my page that overtly state I'm blatantly nonchristian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 You want a way to drown the Christian comments? Play one of the games on facebook and friend as many people who also play the game (for example, if you play Call of Cthulhu, the more advocates you have, the stronger your character is). All of those new friends will drown the Christian comments. I know this to be fact because I have over 200 advocates that post stuff from games and quizzes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaraOlive Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 I keep considering whether I should purge my FB account of former Christian friends. However, despite our differences in beliefs and lifestyles, to the point where we have nothing in common to talk about, I'm reluctant to cut this last point of contact with people who I used to have a good time with. It did really piss me off when after years of not having anything to say to me, I had a one line vent on FB about babies on planes, and a breeder former Christian classmate started lecturing me on how non-parents don't understand how hard it is to have 50 million kids. Well, not having kids was a CHOICE I made. The thing was, it wouldn't have bothered me if she were someone who'd bothered to stay in touch, so we were able to have a friendly back and forth about things, but she had nothing for me until she wanted to complain about something. Remember, you can block people's status updates from your news feed without removing them as a friend. This would probably be especially helpful for family members who you want as part of your life still... just a less talkative part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulQ Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Facebook is a level playing field, so the opportunity exists to challenge their belief with some hard-hitting and genuine questions. That puts the ball back in their court. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest HourglassStargazer Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 One of the things I dislike the most is having other people's religious views crammed down my throat. There is no reason they can't just pop in with a "hello" or a "how are things going for you" without jamming god in your face. If a person knows you are an atheist and they continue to blast you with their religious worldview -they are in the wrong. It is disgusting, rude, and disrespectful. I would politely ask them to stop once. After that, I wouldn't have it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Facebook is a level playing field, so the opportunity exists to challenge their belief with some hard-hitting and genuine questions. That puts the ball back in their court. Won't work for me. The xian comments aren't directed at me, they are just what people write on their own walls that get summarized on my wall. I have 0 desire to aggressively challenge their beliefs and get into a war with them. It's their prerogative to post what they want on their own walls. I don't see this as evangelizing or anything. Since I live in Russia though, FB is the only place I go where I'm exposed to xian chatter. The worst offenders are dear old friends of mine and I don't have the heart to delete them. I have on occasion posted youtube vids that are challenging but not directly so just to make people think a bit. I posted a Carlin rant that led to crickets chirping and I posted a vid I found here about open mindedness. That one got my cousin's panties in a bunch even though it didn't directly challenge any particular belief system. I'll probably just continue to go the subtle route. I did delete some girl who went to my school who is an anti Obama birther. That cleaned things up considerably. I don't even remember her. She added me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Japedo Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Same here Vigile, I see everything from getting invited to Soul fest ( ) , to what people write on (What's on your mind thingy) God is in control, he's my rock comments, Faith is the heartbeat of life... etal. My love for them as people trumps my disdain for their belief in mumbojumbo. I also don't have the heart to aggressively challenge them or start on any anti-xtain rants on FB. One friend just lost her mother and she's of course distraught, god seems to be the only way she can cope. FB Is about the only place where I think twice about posting things. I have on my page agnostic as well as being a member of Ex-C, so far no one's questioned me........... Yet. Then again, most people that know me also know my past, so maybe they'll never confront me on it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShallowByThyGame Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Well, you can 'hide' people's posts too if they spam you with tripe. I have few outwardly religious friends so my facebook channels are mostly life updates and comedy, but I did have to hide one girl from high school who seemed to have descended into madness with a 'war on christmas' type posting. But you can then post links and videos that might engage some critical thinking. There are some amazing youtube videos that attack blind faith without directly pointing out christianity...work by TheraminTrees and QualiaSoup is an example. You can post scientific discoveries also. Either they will block you and so be it, or maybe they will have their beliefs challenged. So long as you aren't responding to their updates, they can't accuse you of being rude or hostile, but everyone here is here because they challenged their beliefs, so I think it can be useful to offer a different voice, even if it is much more moderate than you like to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Davka Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 This is why I deleted by facebook account (well, this and the facebook-friendme-spam that put a virus on my box). In real life, you have the option to drift apart from people with whom you no longer share much in common. But in FB you can't just naturally drift, you have to actively cut ties. Not nice. Over the nearly 50 years of my quixotic adventurous life, there is only 1 person I knew as a 20-something with whom I am still in touch. My teen friends? All faded away, and I don't miss them. People change, interests change, life moves on. That's natural. But FB doesn't allow for this natural, painless progression. It starts off by dredging up everyone you've ever emailed and suggesting them as friends (as if!) and then goes on to allow random strangers to make friend requests, and people you would otherwise never talk to are suddenly tellig you their status. I can only hope it either evolves or dies a quiet death, because it's not an organic way for humans to communicate. Techno-gypsy! You would enjoy a Rainbow Gathering. These started in 1972, before the rainbow was appropriated by Jesse Jackson or the Gay Pride movement. Essentially a bunch of hippies got together in the national forest, camping for a month or so and smoking a lot of pot. They do a pagan-type prayer for world peace on the 4th of July, too, but I always ignored those as too flakey for my taste. Over the years the Gatherings have grown and morphed, with smaller regional gatherings as well as the big yearly one. You'd probably enjoy Burning Man, too. Freakier, artsier, more neo-bizzarro-pagan-atheist, and lots of fun. Burning Man costs money, the Rainbow Gatherings are free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loren Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 My folks and I have made ammends (it got real rough when I came out that not only was I not a Christian, but I wasn't a republican, or a virgin either, lol), and we are now on really good terms. ...You're... not a virgin??? You bastard! I'll bet you killed Kenny, too! . . .no offense, everybody has the right to think/believe what they want, but it seems like so much "fake it 'till you make it". . .reassuring themselves and each other that they have the Right Faith, in the True God. One of the things I noticed on my way out of Christianity was the huge predominance in sermons and particularly bible scripture itself of excuses over why the claims don't actually come true. We see and hear all these extremely tall claims and promises of miraculous spiritual gifts/events/changes that the Christian can expect, yet the bible has almost no instructions on how to deal with it when it happens, what it's like when it happens and so on. Instead, we see all sorts of "explanations" of why it doesn't happen, what to do about that, and so on. Hmmmm... Paul (The Greatest Christian Who Ever Lived) is a great source of that kind of crap. It got to the point where I saw the way the bible treats spiritual events as being more like a used car salesman doing the post-sale tap dance on why, when he said he'd fix any problems because there wouldn't be any problems, he didn't actually mean that he'd fix any problems, you'd just misunderstood what he had said. Or how about working with legal medical cannabis growers for 3 months out of the year? Thank you for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulQ Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Facebook is a level playing field, so the opportunity exists to challenge their belief with some hard-hitting and genuine questions. That puts the ball back in their court. Won't work for me. The xian comments aren't directed at me, they are just what people write on their own walls that get summarized on my wall. I have 0 desire to aggressively challenge their beliefs and get into a war with them. It's their prerogative to post what they want on their own walls. Feel free to fill your own wall with critical thinking quotes and such. Also, adding friends like Dave V. really helps to balance things out, because he's always posting something good. This is why I deleted by facebook account (well, this and the facebook-friendme-spam that put a virus on my box). In real life, you have the option to drift apart from people with whom you no longer share much in common. But in FB you can't just naturally drift, you have to actively cut ties. Not nice. Over the nearly 50 years of my quixotic adventurous life, there is only 1 person I knew as a 20-something with whom I am still in touch. My teen friends? All faded away, and I don't miss them. People change, interests change, life moves on. That's natural. Good point, though often I'm curious to know whatever happened to so-and-so. For example, there was this pretty girl I knew back when I was in my very early teens. We had fun, but fate had us go our separate ways. When I saw her on Facebook a month ago, I saw that time and gravity were not kind to her at all. I learned then that some things are better left as a memory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefranden Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I had one of them Facebook accounts and looked at it for a few days recently. For the life of me, I don't see what the fuss is about. I quite looking and went back to watching paint dry. I don't like American Idol or Dancing With The Stars either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Over the nearly 50 years of my quixotic adventurous life, there is only 1 person I knew as a 20-something with whom I am still in touch. My teen friends? All faded away, and I don't miss them. People change, interests change, life moves on. That's natural. But FB doesn't allow for this natural, painless progression. It starts off by dredging up everyone you've ever emailed and suggesting them as friends (as if!) and then goes on to allow random strangers to make friend requests, and people you would otherwise never talk to are suddenly tellig you their status. I can only hope it either evolves or dies a quiet death, because it's not an organic way for humans to communicate. I feel pretty much the same way about my old HS friends/classmates, etc... OTH, I've had a few dear old friends who I really missed track me down and find me because of the account so I learn to live with it. I don't usually visit my page much; once every month or two. Lately I've been in touch with some old friends that has had me coming back a bit more often. I had an old GF track me down who is a real hoot. I love her comments about her life as a housewife, unusual parenting skills, and just funny comments in general, such as the observation that all Hostess products have sexual connotations (Twinkie, Ho Ho, Ding Dong...) A poster above mentioned the ability to block comments from some friends. I'll have to dig around and see what I can do. I would like to read their PMs if they have any, but I can definitely do without the "Praise Jesus, God guided the surgeon's hand and healed Josh's eye," and "praise God, we made it through our first month without our major donor!" etal. You would enjoy a Rainbow Gathering. Ever been to the one in Idaho? It was just a few miles from our cabin in Donnely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I had one of them Facebook accounts and looked at it for a few days recently. For the life of me, I don't see what the fuss is about. I quite looking and went back to watching paint dry. I don't like American Idol or Dancing With The Stars either. Well, like I said above, the attraction for me is getting back in touch with people I haven't seen for years. Since I've moved around so much I have friends all over the US that I didn't want to lose track of but did anyway. Now that said, it has to be one of the most inane sites on the web. People are always sending me quizzes, such as "Are you a racist?" that ask the most trifling questions I can feel the capillaries in my temple rupturing when I read them. Hence, I ignore all application requests. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRDWarrior Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I like FB for the most part, but most of my friends have been added since my deconversion started, so there's not too many of the fundies on there. My bff growing up is about the only one, and sometimes the responses to her posts from her family and friends just makes me sad - but for the most part her's aren't too bad, just other people's advice to her. For example, she and her hubby are trying to decide where to go once he's out of seminary, and she had posted about wondering how to find the best decision for their family. Her family and friends were all giving (useless) gag answers such as "God's Word" and quoting useless Bible verses. I of course also gave my version of how they should go about it, I think a couple of xtian answers to her were more in response to what I said that anything. I didn't attack anyone's suggestions, but god and the bible sure as heck were not part of my considerations LOL. My friend isn't bad about her posts, and we were friends for nearly 20 years so I don't feel the need to delete her right now - then again, I probalby haven't "come out" to her, but she's never asked so I don't breach the subject either. We can still keep in touch, and our friendship was never there because of religion, we never really discussed it much when we were good friends, and it stays that way now. Works for me. If I had a bunch of Bible spewing friends, I'd be doing some trimming to my FB friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaraOlive Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 You can also block invitations and quizzes. I have a big group of mutual friends (of all different beliefs), but we live all over the country from one another now. FB lets us share conversations and pictures with everyone while also making personal email-like messages easy, all in the same place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Now that said, it has to be one of the most inane sites on the web. People are always sending me quizzes, such as "Are you a racist?" that ask the most trifling questions I can feel the capillaries in my temple rupturing when I read them. Hence, I ignore all application requests. I'm addicted to those quizzes simply because I find them funny. Most of the time I don't publish the results unless I think it is funny enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oddbird1963 Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 Facebook has been a good experience all around. I'd like to join the ex-christian group and a few other free-thinker/atheist types, but since I haven't fully disclosed my atheism to my wife yet, that would be a mistake (I've told her things that come close, but not using the agnostic/atheist moniker). Connecting with old friends with whom I've lost touch has been a big plus. But I get tired of the "praise god" crap and the "ya'll vote for Kris on American Idol - - god is going to use him for something awesome!" That kind of bilge water really chaps my hide! The edgiest I've been has been to post links to websites about the health care issue to try to get some intelligent comments going. But so far, only one person "bit." He made a good comment though. Has anybody found the ex-christian fb group helpful or advantageous? Is it worth going ahead and "coming out" just to join? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenhunter Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 the tons of fundie friends i have on there is really annoying, they are the ones posting crap that this board was talking about, the ones that irritate me are the "i hate obama" and the i homeschool my children because the invisible "god" told me too. i'm deactivating my account on monday. my non-fundie friends use myspace and left or graduated college. i miss them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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