Need Ex-C Community Help. . .

[oddbird1963]

Hello community! I need your help.

 

I'm writing down my experiences with religion growing up, prior to the age of 14 when I became a christian (oh, for a time machine to go back and stop the madness!).

 

Our family was not religious when I was growing up in Arkansas in the 60's and 70's. Both my parents came from differing fundamentalist denominations and resolved that tension by not going anywhere. During my formative years they did not teach us anything about God, jesus or the Bible. I am actually glad about that fact these days.

 

In the course of growing up, there were times when I would cross some unspoken cultural line with regard to religion that would leave me filled with a sense of disconnection, inadequacy and sometimes shame.

 

For instance, in elementary school, a classmate would ask where my family went to church. "Nowhere." "What? You don't go to church?" A classmate one or two seats over would go "Awwwwm!" You know , the universal sound of shaming.

 

At times I would be a little irreverent like sometimes making a joke and referring to myself as god. Once again "Awwwm!" Having never had a conversation with anyone about such things, I was baffled at the negative reaction to what I thought was a brilliant display of humor and creativity.

 

What is a good word to describe that socio-cultural-religious control mechanism of shame/pressure? I thinks its purpose is to force conformity. But the residue of bad feelings it leaves still affects me today. I'm just looking for an evocative word to label it with. I know it was external to me because I had a relatively secular upbringing. There were no internal mechanisms in place to keep me in line religiously.

 

Let me know if I'm not being clear enough, and I will try to provide more examples.

 

But your help in finding a word that adequate describes this would be helpful.

 

Thanks.

[Legion]

Um, maybe stigmatize or stigmatization would work.

[Ouroboros]

What is a good word to describe that socio-cultural-religious control mechanism of shame/pressure? I thinks its purpose is to force conformity.

In sociology it would be called a negative sanction. Not so fancy, but that's the one I could think of at the moment. Sanctions, negative and positive, are the methods with which we consciously or subconsciously correct and modify each others behavior, values, mores, and such.

 

LR mentioned stigma, which would be more of the actual situation the (corrected) person would have when he is sanctioned, especially when he is unable to conform to the norm. When there's a gap between "have to do" (or "want to do") and "can do", then there would be a "stigma". (Like difference, or delta)

[Guest Davka]

Try thesaurus.com under shame or stigmatize.

 

The nice thing about thesaurus.com is that sometimes a word will be close but not quite - if it's a live link, you can click on it for more synonyms.

[Guest Icedender]

Try thesaurus.com under shame or stigmatize.

 

The nice thing about thesaurus.com is that sometimes a word will be close but not quite - if it's a live link, you can click on it for more synonyms.

 

I feel like he word peer-pressure best describes that condition.

[oddbird1963]

peer-pressure negative sanction stigmatize / stigmatization

 

 

These are great words. They've certainly set my brain to simmering over the choices.

 

They lead me to consider naming the section, "Under the Mandate of Shame" or "Carrying Mantle of Shame."

 

I'm still not totally in love with what I've come up with. I'm looking for a good way to describe, essentially, the first 14 years of my life in terms of my exposure to religion, spirituality and mystery.

[oddbird1963]

downtoearth,

 

 

that's a great suggestion! "immigrant" or "alien" are great concepts to describe this.

 

Thanks for the kind words, by the way.

[R. S. Martin]

downtoearth's suggestion's reminded me of my own similar experiences. Weirdo is another term. Ostracize is one of the things they do to people who are different, who fail to meet unspoken rules. I really like the two titles you suggest. But only you can know if it fully describes your experience.

 

I think the purpose of the title is to grab the reader's attention, then the story's role is to hold the attention and justify the title. So the title does not have to capture everything but wording can be crucial.

 

Good luck, Oddbird. BTW, now I have a much better idea of where your screen name comes from.

[oddbird1963]

downtoearth's suggestion's reminded me of my own similar experiences. Weirdo is another term. Ostracize is one of the things they do to people who are different, who fail to meet unspoken rules. I really like the two titles you suggest. But only you can know if it fully describes your experience.

 

I think the purpose of the title is to grab the reader's attention, then the story's role is to hold the attention and justify the title. So the title does not have to capture everything but wording can be crucial.

 

Good luck, Oddbird. BTW, now I have a much better idea of where your screen name comes from.

 

 

R.S.M.

 

Your words are very insightful. You elaboration on that subject reminded me of the term from Exodus 2:22 (KJV): "Stranger in a strange land." That is also the tile of a great sci-fi book by Robert A. Heinland Heinlein. It encompasses the idea of immigrant , alien, and "new kid on the block" which is what I was when I moved to my school in the central area of the state from the northeast part of the state. As the kids (and teachers) would inquire as to who I was and who my family was, I would receive the reactions that I described earlier.

 

Yes, the idea is to grab the readers attention and get them to engage with the section I have so titled. I want the words I use to be evocative - to make them think about what it is like to be an outsider, subjected to religious coercion for he first time.

 

The dynamic is much the same as the forces which co-mingled to cause me to adopt my screen name. Those experiences in school were seminal and have stuck with me for a long time.

[NotBlinded]

A word I remember from college is anomie:

 

"In the social sciences, a condition of social instability or personal unrest resulting from a breakdown of standards and values or from a lack of purpose or ideals. The term was introduced in 1897 by Émile Durkheim, who believed that one type of suicide (anomic) resulted from the breakdown of social standards that people need and use to regulate their behavior. Robert K. Merton studied the causes of anomie in the U.S., finding it severest in persons who lack acceptable means of achieving their cultural goals. Delinquency, crime, and suicide are often reactions to anomie. See also alienation."

 

"Anomie in common parlance is thought to mean something like "at loose ends." The Oxford English Dictionary lists a range of definitions, beginning with a disregard of divine law, through the 19th and 20th century sociological terms meaning an absence of accepted social standards or values. Most sociologists associate the term with Durkheim, who used the concept to speak of the ways in which an individual's actions are matched, or integrated, with a system of social norms and practices. …

 

Durkheim also formally posited anomie as a mismatch, not simply as the absence of norms. Thus, a society with too much rigidity and little individual discretion could also produce a kind of anomie, a mismatch between individual circumstances and larger social mores. Thus, fatalistic suicide arises when a person is too rule-governed, when there is … no free horizon of expectation."

Answers.com

 

I'm not sure if it fits completely, but it might be something you could look into if you wanted.

[oddbird1963]

A word I remember from college is anomie:

 

"In the social sciences, a condition of social instability or personal unrest resulting from a breakdown of standards and values or from a lack of purpose or ideals. The term was introduced in 1897 by Émile Durkheim, who believed that one type of suicide (anomic) resulted from the breakdown of social standards that people need and use to regulate their behavior. Robert K. Merton studied the causes of anomie in the U.S., finding it severest in persons who lack acceptable means of achieving their cultural goals. Delinquency, crime, and suicide are often reactions to anomie. See also alienation."

 

"Anomie in common parlance is thought to mean something like "at loose ends." The Oxford English Dictionary lists a range of definitions, beginning with a disregard of divine law, through the 19th and 20th century sociological terms meaning an absence of accepted social standards or values. Most sociologists associate the term with Durkheim, who used the concept to speak of the ways in which an individual's actions are matched, or integrated, with a system of social norms and practices. …

 

Durkheim also formally posited anomie as a mismatch, not simply as the absence of norms. Thus, a society with too much rigidity and little individual discretion could also produce a kind of anomie, a mismatch between individual circumstances and larger social mores. Thus, fatalistic suicide arises when a person is too rule-governed, when there is … no free horizon of expectation."

Answers.com

 

I'm not sure if it fits completely, but it might be something you could look into if you wanted.

 

Anomie as you described it reminds me of Albert Camus' favorites themes of Exile and alienation. His was a more or less existential, personal viewpoint. Your description casts a similar dynamic into a sociological context. Very Interesting.