Llwellyn Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 Should I pursue a romantic relationship with a girl who rarely goes to church, doesn't think about the religion much, but who thinks of herself as a CHRISTIAN? My friend and I are getting closer, but I think we are both kind of wary about the religion issue, and I'm not sure if I should continue to invest the time and effor into developing a relationship with her given that she is a Christian and I am not. By the way, she is really smart and good-looking, so that weighs in the analysis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightflight Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 Yes!!!! She doesn't sound fundy at all. I have a real good friend who is like that; I would date her if I could. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 It is worth a try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 Should I pursue a romantic relationship with a girl who rarely goes to church, doesn't think about the religion much, but who thinks of herself as a CHRISTIAN? Try to find out if, at some future point, she happened to have kids if it were important to her that they be introduced into the church (ie. baptized, taken to church, indoctrinated, and so on). Plenty of people are pretty easy going when it comes to just them but once they're "involved" (usually married) or even more so once they have kids they really think they need that "moral compass" shit and it kicks in full-force (looking at her family/friends will help here too...don't forget that you're kind of an exception rather than a rule as an apostate). Now, if you can deal with the idea of your future wife indoctrinating your future kids then go for it. Otherwise, tread lightly. You can still go for it but know when to quit (and wear rubbers even if she goes on the pill). mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raul Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 You're a female,right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulQ Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 You could tell her that you normally wouldn't date a Christian, but in her case you'll make an exception. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaraOlive Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 For me, it would depend a lot on her family. My own experiences color my opinions a lot in this matter. If she had a strongly Christian family, I wouldn't even consider dating her. If they're fundy AND she's very close to them, I'd stay even farther away- wouldn't even let myself get in a situation where I might be tempted to give it a try. Also, what kind of Christian does she consider herself? A liberal Christian with Universalist tendencies, or when you really get down to basics, even though she isn't very involved right now, are her core beliefs fundy/evangelical? I had several friends who didn't think much about God or religion in their teens and early 20s, but they never changed their deep down belief in things like the inerrancy of the Bible, and as they started to follow the lifescript, they ended up just like their religious parents. The fact that she's also wary about the religion issue would be a red flag to me- if she didn't want to convert you (or vice versa), it shouldn't be an issue that your beliefs are different. The only way I'd feel comfortable with the situation would be if I knew that the person had consciencious reasons for not wanting to be in church or to give religion much thought (because they deliberately decided it wasn't an important part of their life) and not just that they were a lazy backslider who couldn't be bothered to get up on Sunday despite their very real love for Jesus. I'd also have to know that their family and friends wouldn't be putting constant pressure on them to convert me, to dump me, or to become more involved in Christianity. It's easy to say- oh I'll just give it a try... but it can be very emotionally damaging to get involved, then have the person you thought you loved go full fundy on you... believe me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llwellyn Posted August 2, 2009 Author Share Posted August 2, 2009 You're a female,right? Actually, I am a dude. "Llwellyn" sounds kind of fruity of you're not Welsh, but be assured it is a male name. Thanks for all the advice, guys. You are right, I have to gage the risk of her going "FULL FUNDY" on me as well as the risk of her wanting to plant the Christian ideas in the minds of vulnerable and innocent children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realist Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 Should I pursue a romantic relationship with a girl who rarely goes to church, doesn't think about the religion much, but who thinks of herself as a CHRISTIAN? My friend and I are getting closer, but I think we are both kind of wary about the religion issue, and I'm not sure if I should continue to invest the time and effor into developing a relationship with her given that she is a Christian and I am not. By the way, she is really smart and good-looking, so that weighs in the analysis. .... I would agree .... if a fundie .... FORGET IT!!! (Ye shall not be unequally yoked!) But she sounds sounds more liberal .... so go with your own feelings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShallowByThyGame Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 By all means date her if you enjoy her company, but be yourself and make sure she understands your positions and you figure out where she stands before any serious commitment. Worst case you decide it would not work well and you move on...but make sure that she doesn't 'pretend' to agree with you because she's desperate for a hubby or anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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