Not_Scarevangelist Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 ... for example - how could I claim I'm happy when I don't go to church? This is the question my girlfriend asks me a lot. And here's the answer. I'm not happy when I go to church because: 1. I'm not in peace. And this is because - 2. Of the constant guilt I feel 3. Because I live in fear while going to church 4. I constantly worry about what is proper to do and what's not. 5. There are nuts on the inside I'm happy outside of church, because: 1. I don't lose my time talking to nuts 2. I don't worry about what's proper to do and what's not 3. I don't live in fear 4. I don't believe in silly, but horrifying doctrines 5. I don't feel I'm guilty for nothing. This is simple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 I'm happy when I don't go to church because when I do go to church, I get depressed by seeing all the misguided 'lost souls' who are foolishly following a multitude of ridiculous notions related to being "saved" and then living an eternal life that involves incessantly praising the person who somehow managed to simultaneously condemn and save everyone......... Same here. Since I woke up to the foolishness of Christianity, going to church is both annoying and heartbreaking. I'd rather spend my Sunday mornings watching and listening to some freethinkers on YouTube, so that's what I often do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 I'm happy not going because a Sunday spent being lazy and doing nothing is much better than listening to crap I don't believe in and isn't relevant to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 I'm happy not going to church because I get to sleep in the morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKR Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Time to find a new girlfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulQ Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 I'm happy not going to church because: -I save 10%. -I get to sleep in (sleep makes me happy). -I don't have to sing crappy hymns; especially all 100 monotonous verses of Holy, Holy, Holy. -I don't have to sit on those harsh planks of wood called pews. -I don't have to smell the musty church air. -I don't worry about having my life judged by some "Holier-than-thou" church lady. -I don't waste my gas or wear and tear on my car. -I don't have to feel guilty about shit I've had nothing to do with. I could keep on going; but suffice it to say, not going to church makes me EXTREMELY happy with life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted August 10, 2009 Super Moderator Share Posted August 10, 2009 How Could Someone Be Happy Without Going To Church? How could someone be happy without going to an Amway meeting? I was happy going to church for a while. I'm happier NOT going now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 How the hell is going to church supposed to make anyone happy anyway? I mean you've gotta get up at the buttcrack of dawn on one of your precious days off, put on uncomfy clothes, go sit on a cold, hard pew for two hours listening to some jerk tell you all about how horrible you are and bloviating about how awesome god is, and if you're lucky maybe you get a tiny stale wafer and a few drops of grape juice in one of those little weird tray thingies with all the little teeny cups (I don't know how I didn't manage to steal one of those things), then you stand up and sit down and have to put up with the asshole next to you trying to sing all the hymns at top volume when he can't even carry a tune in a bucket, and then when you FINALLY get to leave you have to run a gauntlet of old ladies lined up at the door to shake the pastor's hand and thank him for the wonderful sermon, really it was just lovely, and of course you can never quite get out the door without the damn pastor noticing that you're trying to sneak out, and then your family has to drag you to some crappy Sunday pancake breakfast afterwards at the nearest Mitzel's or Shari's or whatever short-order chain is popular in your neck of the woods, and the whole place is full of bullnecked religious men fresh from church with their wives in tow wearing tacky modest floral dresses with big lace collars and lots of pink (the wives, not the men), and dragging their poor kids along who've already had to spend two hours putting up with mind-numbing Sunday school lessons in a cold church basement, and why do church basements always have that particular musty smell to them?? Oh yeah, and if you're REALLY hardcore then you go back to church on Wednesday night too, and have to put up with the same damn thing, except this time it's the youth pastor and a bunch of horny adolescents all wet for Jeebus, singing corny renditions of pop songs with the lyrics all changed around so songs about sex suddenly become songs about god... and if you're REALLY REALLY hardcore you give up your Saturday nights too, for more of the same, that one precious night of the week when you should really be out partying and having fun with your friends, but no of course you've got to spend it at yet another chilly church service, this time maybe populated mostly by chaste young women who just can't seem to find the right Christian husband yet despite living modest lives devoted to god, and then it's a shorter service and you get stuck afterwards for an hour in Bible study in little circles of 12 because that's how many disciples Jesus had, and isn't that Saturday night Bible study really just another excuse for chicks to get together and talk about guys?? Yeah. Fuck church. Sunday mornings are far better spent sleeping off the hangover you got Saturday night because you were hanging out at a big bonfire with your friends and getting really hammered and flirting sloppily with that hot guy your best friend brought over. Wednesday nights are poker night (or a good night to get poked). So says this godless unwashed heathen, happy as a clam now that I don't attend church. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 ...and then your family has to drag you to some crappy Sunday pancake breakfast afterwards at the nearest Mitzel's or Shari's or whatever short-order chain is popular in your neck of the woods, and the whole place is full of bullnecked religious men fresh from church with their wives in tow wearing tacky modest floral dresses with big lace collars and lots of pink (the wives, not the men)... And they are always so fat that they can't even fit in the booths, at least that is what it always seems like to me. If I were so hungry for pancakes, I would just make them at home in my pajamas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulQ Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 And they are always so fat that they can't even fit in the booths, at least that is what it always seems like to me. If I were so hungry for pancakes, I would just make them at home in my pajamas. Drenched in genuine Canadian Maple Syrup...mmm...thanks, now I know what I'm going to have for dinner tonight! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShallowByThyGame Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 How someone could be happy without sacrificing a cow to Zeus I'll never know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 and then when you FINALLY get to leave you have to run a gauntlet of old ladies lined up at the door to shake the pastor's hand and thank him for the wonderful sermon, really it was just lovely Yeah. I think they must be very forgetful. After all, there are so many sermons that can be preached. Before my teenage years were even over, I was thinking to myself, "oh, it's this sermon again...", and that was when I was still a Christian. How can something you've already heard continue to be wonderful for so many years? Because it's the Greatest Story Ever Told. DUH! [/sarcasm] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeaMaximaCulpa Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 I'm happy not going to church because I no longer have to spend hours at a time listening to the pastor talk about how great God is. Really? God is great? Er... are we talking about the same guy here? You know... the God who somehow, DESPITE being all-powerful, failed time and time again at creating a decent world? Then threw a divine fit and blamed his own myopia on us humans? Puh-leese. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John09 Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 The suggestion that a person cannot be happy without going to church demonstrates the narrow-mindedness, and inexperience of life. I am discovering that a religion is not what I need to be happy or moral. The truth is, I was never really happy as a christian for many of the reasons the OP mentioned. Besides, many christians are only pretending to be happy with a cooky colgate grin. They cannot be honest and real because then they are not "right with God." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 I don't go to church because it cuts into my nappy time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 I don't go to church because it cuts into my nappy time. Diaper fetish? hah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arctic Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Am unhappy going to church because I try to speak to god if he exists and I get the same thing I got my entire life, silence and then the xians start blaming 100% of gods silence on me, so I guess god must really suck at braking through to me because I have always been open to any religion since I left it, its just I reject people and them telling me who god is I want to hear god for myself. Am just sick of people trying to lead me on something that supposed to not be about people but god. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulQ Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I don't go to church because it cuts into my nappy time. Diaper fetish? hah Ooh, zing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 My ex wife cornered me one day on why I don't take my daughter to church on my weekends with her. I told her that my time was better spent with my daughter by feeding the birds, reading a book, playing in the sandbox, and exploring outside rather than dressing up, sitting quietly in a pew and then sending her off to children's church. She was actually speechless. I also am happier not going to church because I don't have to pretend to like the lowlife scum that sits in the pews nodding their heads to everything the pastor says when I know they are nothing but trash on the inside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Church? God it was boring. Even when I was an xian I was bored out of my mind there. After I grew up and didn't "have" to go anymore, I only suffered through the boredom because of the hot girls. Here's an honest question: Did anyone really enjoy church? I'm not talking about the pot lucks, the camps, the other get togethers. Just the singing, the 45 minute guilt trip, and the signing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Here's an honest question: Did anyone really enjoy church? I'm not talking about the pot lucks, the camps, the other get togethers. Just the singing, the 45 minute guilt trip, and the signing. I did. Not as a child, but after I "got saved" at age 15, I was really into church until I started questioning it at age 29. I enjoyed most of it during that time, though there were sometimes songs that weren't performed very well at all and that would annoy me. I didn't view the sermons as "guilt trips," but I did believe that the Holy Spirit would bring conviction to lead us closer to God. I saw it as an opportunity to learn, grow "in Christ," and worship among fellow believers. So, yes, by and large I enjoyed it. No more, though. Now that I see that it's a load of bullshit, I detest sitting in church, which is why I don't go except for rare occasions (primarily when visiting with relatives). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Honest, I can't lie, there was a period of time I enjoyed it. I liked the hymns, that was the best part. I thought I was doing the best thing a person could be doing by going to church. I wanted to live a Christian life and be a good person. I enjoyed doing crafts at the vacation Bible school. Raised in a Christian family, I thought that was the only right thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DucorpsToo Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 Saw the following sig line on another board that I belong-and which sums it up for me Kids, church, and yard work....the three biggest time-wasters of middle class America-Anonymous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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