cesium Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 I was raised in a home with Christian parents who took me to the local Baptist church every time the doors were open. I was "saved" and baptized at the age of 10. I had the belief the the Bible was the inerrant word of God. I became well respected in the church and was seen by many as the example of what a good Baptist should be. About two years ago, the Sunday morning sermon was on tithing. This in itself did not bother me. I was a tither at the time and even had a check stuck in my Bible which I intended to put in the plate that morning. The preacher was pushing it hard this time and it became obvious to me that he was trying to make the Bible say something it did not. During the sermon I read the context of the verses he was quoting and it was clear that they did not support his arguments. I knew that the reason for him choosing this sermon topic was that the church was severely short of its budget. The way the church spent their money bothered me. I was beginning to doubt that tithing was mandated by the Bible. The plate was passed and that check stayed in my Bible. I went home and spent the afternoon reading the Bible and praying about this. I came to the conclusion that I had been lied to on this issue by many preachers. I found another church that was a bit more open minded than the previous one and started attending there. I started to question more and more. I still assumed the Bible was inerrant, but began questioning the teachings of the modern church and interpretations of the Bible. Until last month I had not dared to question the resurrection or anything else that was key to being a Christian. I had thrown out much of the rest as being created by man. Last week, while trying to support what was left of my Christian faith, I came to the conclusion that I could not believe that Jesus was the son of God or that he was resurrected. I was no longer a Christian at that point. At first, I felt a sense of relief in not having to continue to justify my beliefs. I began to consider the implications of this new discovery in my life, and became concerned about the future of my relationship with my parents. If I tell them, they will believe that I am damned to hell, and I expect this to cause them great pain. I don't know if I can bear to tell them. I have stopped going to church, but will continue to go to my parents church when I visit them on weekends. I expect most of my friends to be accepting of this. Two of them are atheist and very open about it, and the others are respectful of those two. I am thankful to not have to hide my lack of religion from everyone. I now consider myself to be an agnostic or maybe even an atheist. I still have the same high morals as I did in the past, and I am still my usual happy self. I appreciate being able to read about others experiences on this website. Thanks for reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiddlingAround Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Wow, just last week. Deconversion is a bit of a shock to the system at first, isn't it, even when it's a long time in coming. I'm glad to hear you've got some real-world support in addition to what you'll find on this board - which is fantastic, by the way. You'll find that dealing with believing family members and the whole to tell or not to tell question is a very common concern here. Personally, I'm keeping this all to myself for now, hoping to ease them into it. Others are more forthcoming, with varying results, but an encouraging number are able to reach a positive understanding with Xtian family. Welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnight-mindwanderings Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 You seem to have a really good handle on your deconversion and are dealing with it well. It may never be necessary to talk about it to your parents unless you want to. My parents don't bring it up because they are afraid of what I would say but its pretty well understood where we stand. Sounds like you have really good friends who won't cause much problems for you and that is also good to hear. I had the same type of support system. Welcome to our little group here and thanks for your testimony! I always like to read how people have found their way out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvaholic Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 I haven't told my parents either. My relationship with them is pretty crappy as is, so I'm not going to say anything to them. They would only not like my new belief system because it'll make them look bad that they have a "backslidden" daughter. Christianity never comes up in conversation now, so I see no reason for my non christianity to come up in conversation in the future. LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Davka Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Welcome, cesium. Looks like you've gone through a very similar journey to my own. I'm in TN also, north of Nashville. It's really strange living in the buckle of the Bible Belt when you've completely stopped believing everything that's taken for granted by most folks. Myself, I'm planning on leaving as soon as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cesium Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 Thanks for the kind comments. I think that I will be open about this to friends if the subject comes up, but there is no need to tell family in the near future. Davka, I know what you mean about living in Tennessee. I live in a small town (East TN), and Nashville would be a huge improvement for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Welcome. It's been 7 years since I started questioning Christianity and 6 years since I came to the realization that it's a big fat lie, and I still haven't told my parents. When I was first questioning things, I did once mention in an email to my mother that there were a few Bible contradictions that were troubling me. She replied that there may be some contradictions due to translational errors, and that was all that was said about that. She hasn't brought it up again, and I haven't mentioned that I am now an agnostic and firmly convinced that the Bible is BS. I don't know if my parents suspect that I've left the faith or not (although I have to imagine that my dad would be trying to reconvert me if he suspected it). We live 500 miles apart, so I simply attend church when we're together for visits, I don't bring up religion otherwise, and I beat around the bush (without lying) and try to avoid spilling too many details whenever they bring up religion. Anyway, good luck on your journey.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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