John09 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Hello, I happened upon this forum a few days ago while searching for related topics. I am in the process of de-converting from Christianity. I have been immersed in fundamental christian culture and beliefs for about 18 years now. Over the last year many changes have been slowly occurring in my heart and mind about my religion (or "relationship" as many call it). Mostly as a result of attending college and mingling heavily with non-christians, I have been accepting more and more the fact that many things are just not right both regarding the belief system I have bought into and its negative effect on my life. In short, I have found that I enjoy the company of non-christians more than christians. They are more loving, honest, fun, caring, etc. My study of the sciences has brought me more and more to finally recognize all the inconsistencies of the bible that I had always been taught to ignore. I am finding that I really don't believe that the God of the bible is as nice as the majority of planet earth's humans. I am honestly coming to accept that I don't want the god of the bible, nor do I want the tormenting guilt, manipulation, coercion, self-righteousness and meanness of most of what is called christianity ( all of which I have been guilty of myself). As I am sure, most, if not all, of you know, I am struggling with the fact that I will have to completely change my life and will be labeled as the outsider by all those people with whom I have built close friendships. There is still a lot of confusion, but every day I am realizing that rational, reasonable, concrete truth is what I long for. I no longer want to give myself over to imaginary, confusing, irrational ideas that only immerse the believer in a pit of fear and guilt. I am falling in love with the notion of doing good to others because I honestly want to and care rather than because I want another point with god, or because I am secretly only trying to win them over to my belief system. I honestly don't have anyone I can really share all this stuff with. That is, I know no one who would actually understand and relate to what I am saying. I appreciate the ability to do that here. I'm looking forward to chewing on more posts and getting to know some folks here. John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiddlingAround Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Well, I was going to highlight a paragraph that I could particularly relate to, but then I read the rest of it and found a lot of familiar territory there, too. It seems our deconversions have much in common. And yes, it is great to be able to talk about all this with people who understand - it makes all the Xtianity I am surrounded by much easier to tolerate. Welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvaholic Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Welcome! I just found this group also and can totally relate to what you are saying. It's freeing being on this side, huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted August 13, 2009 Super Moderator Share Posted August 13, 2009 Hello and welcome to reality! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John09 Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 Thank you for the welcome. Yes, it is freeing being on this side of reality. It is very interesting now evaluating my own thoughts about morality and ethics. It is good to realize that I am not alone. It is good to have a higher regard for others and the consequences of my actions in the nasty now and now, since that is all I have. I can drink a beer without feeling guilty. I can have a conversation with a non-christian without feeling the need to talk them into joining my group. There are so many differences. It is like being born again, only into rationality and reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I am in the process of de-converting from Christianity. I have been immersed in fundamental christian culture and beliefs for about 18 years now. Welcome, and congratulations on coming to your senses at a relatively young age. The flimsy foundation of Christianity didn't start crumbling for me until I was 29, so I envy you on getting a jump-start. In short, I have found that I enjoy the company of non-christians more than christians. They are more loving, honest, fun, caring, etc. My experience with Christians was a little more positive, I guess, in that I do believe that most of the ones I was closest to were genuinely caring people. However, now that I'm on the other side, I also feel more comfortable around nonchristians than Christians, simply because I can relate to them better. I am falling in love with the notion of doing good to others because I honestly want to and care rather than because I want another point with god, or because I am secretly only trying to win them over to my belief system. That was pretty much my belief even when I was still a Christian. I believed in sincerity, not pretending. And I don't think that I was alone in that. But you're right, some Christians probably are motivated by nothing more than brownie points with Skydaddy. As I am sure, most, if not all, of you know, I am struggling with the fact that I will have to completely change my life and will be labeled as the outsider by all those people with whom I have built close friendships. There is still a lot of confusion, but every day I am realizing that rational, reasonable, concrete truth is what I long for. I no longer want to give myself over to imaginary, confusing, irrational ideas that only immerse the believer in a pit of fear and guilt.... I honestly don't have anyone I can really share all this stuff with. That is, I know no one who would actually understand and relate to what I am saying. I appreciate the ability to do that here. Pretty much the same here. Even though I believe that many of my Christian friends are sincere and caring, I also know that they wouldn't be able to understand where I'm coming from. They've been brainwashed, just like I was. I don't have anyone close to me to talk about it with either, so I've enjoyed online acquaintances on a few different message boards. I have recently joined a Freethinkers group at meetup.com and plan to meet with them soon, so hopefully that will be a good experience for me. You may want to check out meetup.com as well, since there may be some other Ex-Christians attending meetups in your area. Anyway, enjoy the journey ahead of you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Welcome John. Please kick back, relax, and enjoy your stay here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John09 Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 Thanks again, everyone, for the welcome. I have to clarify that I became a christian at the age of 20. I was a christian for 18 years. Yes, reality, to my surprise, is actually freeing. Thanks, citsonga, for the info on the group. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Oh, gotcha. Sorry for the prior misunderstanding. I had taken the comment about being in Christianity for 18 years and then going to college as referring to being raised Christian. I guess I assumed too much. But, regardless, it's still great to see that you've been freed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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