Guest ephymeris Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I know someone posted on this before but I too have nearly been outed by facebook to family members. Yes, shame on me for having family as friends on FB and shame on me on being scared they would find out...I know, I know. But seriously, facebook will post your conversations in polls and to other facebookers without your prior okay, it just does it by default! Okay, a little warning would be nice. Luckily I'm paranoid so a few minutes after I posted I checked my profile and deleted what was a very venomous statement to a hatefilled xtian homophobe about his crappy god. I wish I could just be out and done with it. I can take the criticism but I'm pretty sure I would lose the (obviously conditional) love and trust of my family members and also out my husband who comes from a heavily indoctrinated background and still very religious family. Gaah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I pretty much hide from my family on facebook--I use a pseudonym instead of my name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyone Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I know someone posted on this before but I too have nearly been outed by facebook to family members. Yes, shame on me for having family as friends on FB and shame on me on being scared they would find out...I know, I know. But seriously, facebook will post your conversations in polls and to other facebookers without your prior okay, it just does it by default! Okay, a little warning would be nice. Luckily I'm paranoid so a few minutes after I posted I checked my profile and deleted what was a very venomous statement to a hatefilled xtian homophobe about his crappy god. I wish I could just be out and done with it. I can take the criticism but I'm pretty sure I would lose the (obviously conditional) love and trust of my family members and also out my husband who comes from a heavily indoctrinated background and still very religious family. Gaah! You're scaring me. I am considering opening a facebook page, but until now I haven't really had a reason, and my wife keeps me up-to-date regarding family members. I'm pretty sure that all of my family knows I'm atheist (although I never discussed it with my 94 year old step-mother or my very elderly aunt and uncle), but my coworkers don't know, my "boss" doesn't know, and the people I used to work with (and may again) don't know - and they are all probably religious (particularly my old place of work, "Vally Baptist Medical Center"). I wouldn't "Friend" them, of course. Can I make my profile sort of contained so that only my friends can see it? Is there any point in doing that? Could I still then reach out to other atheists? (e.g., only allow people with certain religious specification to see me without revealing my own). Oh, the confusion. I don't know if I want to now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ephymeris Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I would create a pseudonym account but by the time I check 2 facebook sites, I could just click here. Though then I could check exc when I go home for the holidays without so much cloak and dagger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyone Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I would create a pseudonym account but by the time I check 2 facebook sites, I could just click here. Though then I could check exc when I go home for the holidays without so much cloak and dagger. I thought Facebook didn't allow pseudonyms. Or was that MySpace? I remember some controversy because there were dozens of American Indians whose accounts were deleted because the admin thought names like "Running Bear" were fake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulQ Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 Simple rule of thumb: Never say anything on Facebook you wouldn't say publicly. I'm pretty open about my atheism and how I feel about Christianity and religion in general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Creepy Doll Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I have two accounts on FB. One is my "work" account where I have a bit of a "fanbase" of people who are kinda groupie-like and follow what I write regarding my work. I allow my co-workers on there too. That account has my real name. The other account is reserved strictly for people I allow to see it and I use my name in Gaelic for that one. There's some family on there, including my fundy sister, but I'm not closeted about anything to family so I don't care. Mostly I want to be able to bitch about work and talk about personal stuff without co-workers, groupies and clients seeing it. You can completely hide your profile to anyone you don't specifically allow to see it if you want to. Some of my friends on the personal side know a lot of my co-workers, but so far it hasn't been an issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ephymeris Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 Simple rule of thumb: Never say anything on Facebook you wouldn't say publicly. I'm pretty open about my atheism and how I feel about Christianity and religion in general. Well, I would say this publicly where I live, in St. Louis. I'm not my true self to my family but all my friends know what an emotional, vulgar person I can be! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I've got a similar situation on facebook. Most family members don't know I'm an atheist, but plenty of friends do. I have to hope no one refers to it in a wall post or some such thing. Some day I'll just tell them not have to worry about it any more, but for now I've got to be careful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRDWarrior Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 Thankfully most of my friends on FB could care less - my MIL is on there, but since I'm already outted to my parents, I really don't give a crap if she finds out. My best friend from childhood (we were bff's for nearly 18 years) is on there, but we never discuss religion, so it's never come up - I wouldn't hide it if it did, it just hasn't been an issue yet. Shyone, you can set all of your privacy settings so that "only friends" can see pretty much anything other than your name. Keeps it pretty private from nosy jobs or otherwise, you just have to make sure whenever that little drop down comes up that you set it to that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyone Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 Shyone, you can set all of your privacy settings so that "only friends" can see pretty much anything other than your name. Keeps it pretty private from nosy jobs or otherwise, you just have to make sure whenever that little drop down comes up that you set it to that. Sounds reasonable. I assume I can still make friends from Facebook, right? Can I join groups and befriend groups? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Autonomous Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 Yep you can set it so only people you accept as friends can see any of your stuff. I have mine set like that as I have pics of my kids up and so on. But if you want to speak privately to someone on facebook you need to send a private message via your inbox, rather than posting on their wall. Of course that doesn't stop them forwarding your message to whoever they like, if they are that way inclined! You can also delete things from your profile, although that doesn't help if some people get email notifications as the notification will go out straight away. But if you point to the top right hand of the offending item you can click to delete it. And if you delete a wall conversation then it will delete off the other persons wall as well I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 Ephymeris my folks don’t know I’m heathen for certain either. They may suspect. But, I’ve just never seen the point of making a scene over it. I don’t pretend to believe, but I also haven’t announced my skepticism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShallowByThyGame Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I had a similar experience. I ranted on the 'under God' in pledge debate, and was really annoyed to find the thing posted to my wall without asking. I have no idea why this is a default setting...the whole point of the debate I thought was to keep the topic in the debate forum. I deleted it off my wall so I wouldn't 'offend' too many people, though I had a discussion with one Christian about it, and sent him a youtube video proving that the founding fathers purposefully removed God from the Constitution...but it was still annoying. If you're going to hide stuff, you really got to go into facebook and learn how to use the privacy settings, cause otherwise they will post stuff everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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