Are Atheists Less Sociable?

[chefranden]

I think that I'm less social since becoming an atheist, but I wasn't exactly a party animal when a Christian either. I did get invited to a lot of things that I went to, but without the church I don't have much contact with people doing that sort of thing any more.

 

Are Atheists Less Sociable?

 

The Old "Stick or Ball" Psychologica...Image by nate_marsh via Flickr

What is it about atheists that makes us so difficult to organize? Could sociability have something to do with it? Read the following statements and take a moment to consider the degree to which each applies to you ("not at all" to "a lot like me").

 

1. I am more comfortable being alone than most people I know.

2. I do not need a large circle of friends to be happy.

3. I prefer smaller gatherings to large parties or social events.

 

I just made these questions up off the top of my head, but their content is similar to many psychological tests of sociability. We're not going to learn much of anything with only three questions, but imagine that there were several more along these lines, and you get the idea of how we might measure sociability.

 

My hunch, based on little more than my personal experience and interactions with other atheists, is that the average atheist would score a bit lower on such a measure than the average Christian. That is, if we had a complete and valid measure of sociability that I administered to 100 atheists and 100 Christians, I would expect that the average score from the atheists would be somewhat lower than the average score from the Christians. Note that this in no way implies that some atheists would not score higher than many Christians or that some Christians would not score lower than many atheists.

 

Who cares? Well, I think that answering questions like this might have some interesting implications. Assume I'm right and atheists tend to score lower on sociability. What might that mean? Do less sociable people tend to gravitate toward atheism, or is there something about the experience of living as an atheist that leads people to become less sociable? We wouldn't know this simply by finding a group difference, but we'd probably be more motivated to pursue such questions. Findings from such studies might also inform efforts at organizing atheists.

 

link: http://www.atheistrev.com/2009/09/are-atheists-less-sociable.html

[NotBlinded]

I answered that I was not less socialable before or after (I think that's how it worked out). I was never really a social type person. But, I did become a little more outgoing. I wouldn't say more socialable, but more interactive on social occasions. Yet, I'm not sure that had anything to do with losing my faith or if it was just a process of maturing.

 

I think there are probably many variables here that would be hard to draw on to reach a really valid conclusion. Such as mine above, I also feel that many Christians are only sociable because they feel they have to be. Would they be that socialable if they didn't feel the need to go to church? I don't know.

[SilentLoner]

I started being a loner as a kid, I think that probably was a contributing factor to my eventual deconversion. Hispanic culture (where I mostly grew up) is loud and very social, and xtianity is pretty much ingrained into large parts of life. I think being a loner let me take a step back and look at things more objectively.

 

On the other hand the topic of atheism has let me connect with quite a lot of people over the years.

[Shyone]

I answered no because I was quite confortable being in the hierarchy of the Church. I still go to gatherings and eat out, but don't join lots of clubs. I'm here though.

 

 

I suspect that I may be less social than many, but that isn't the same as being unsocial.

 

Losing my faith was a byproduct of learning, not lack of sociability.

[OpheliaGinger]

I answered no to all of the questions.

 

1. I am more comfortable being alone than most people I know.

2. I do not need a large circle of friends to be happy.

3. I prefer smaller gatherings to large parties or social events.

 

This really applies to me, but I was always like this even before deconverting. Even when I was a die hard Christian I never enjoyed large gatherings and preferred to be by myself.

[Neon Genesis]

But I don't see how someone can draw the link between how social one is and the difficulty of organizing atheists. Atheism in itself is the disbelief in gods and says nothing about what other beliefs or lack thereof the atheists might have about politics, morality, religion, etc. There may be other issues that people who also happen to be atheists might unite over with other like-minded people who also happen to be atheists, like secularism, skepticism, science, etc. but you can't organize atheists because atheists as a group does not exist and it's like trying to get people who don't belong to a club to join a club and trying to draw a link between how social they are and their lack of interests in clubs.

[Shyone]

it's like trying to get people who don't belong to a club to join a club and trying to draw a link between how social they are and their lack of interests in clubs.

How about organizing a meeting of non-fairy believers?

 

We're meeting next Thursday at 3:00 AM.

[Saviourmachine]

People that call themselves atheist, have most often some history, like most people over here. People grown up without beliefs, are generally not busy with it. Even less organize themselves as a group of atheists. So, there is a higher chance that a person who calls him/herself atheist has left its peer group. They apparently have some natural defense system with which they cope with the fact that there is a possibility that they will become or will be seen as pariahs. I can imagine that being less social than an average person is such a natural a defense system. However, it's like an entire chain of individual claims.

 

Also this website is not the way to test this. If anything I would say that atheists that come here are not to evangelize, but to talk with like-minded friends, and that christians come here because they want to evangelize.

[Ouroboros]

How about organizing a meeting of non-fairy believers?

 

We're meeting next Thursday at 3:00 AM.

Gosh, that's early. What an ungodly hour. No, I really mean, ungodly. All the demons are out hunting for souls to eat.

 

At least we are awake when we have our meeting:

 

The Club of People with No Interest in Socializing meets at 9 AM. You're welcome there too. Unfortunately, most of the time the hall is empty. But you're welcome anyway. We're having a guest talker this time, Mr Ano Nymous, only if he can manage to leave his house for once. We also have some team-spirit building activities, like each one of us go to an isolated room and shout from the top of our lungs how much we hate company. All fun.

[florduh]

The meeting for Procrastinators Anonymous has been postponed until further notice.

 

 

 

Social interaction is about the same for me since leaving the fold. Church had certain functions I felt obligated to attend, but without the peer pressure I probably would have missed most of them. My only close friend there was the preacher. Upon reflection, maybe even that was just because his wife was hot.

 

I have always pursued rather solitary interests - art, photography, radio/electronics, reading and magic. Though magic is a performance art involving other people, it is not the same as hanging with friends, and I hate hanging out with magicians.

 

I continue as I always have with a very small but absolutely perfect circle of friends.

[Loren]

How about organizing a meeting of non-fairy believers?

 

We're meeting next Thursday at 3:00 AM.

Gosh, that's early. What an ungodly hour. No, I really mean, ungodly. All the demons are out hunting for souls to eat.

 

At least we are awake when we have our meeting:

 

The Club of People with No Interest in Socializing meets at 9 AM. You're welcome there too. Unfortunately, most of the time the hall is empty. But you're welcome anyway. We're having a guest talker this time, Mr Ano Nymous, only if he can manage to leave his house for once. We also have some team-spirit building activities, like each one of us go to an isolated room and shout from the top of our lungs how much we hate company. All fun.

I'll be not bringing the potato salad. I was going to say that it's the very best recipe I've got to not bring, but then I immediately thought of !!!pot brownies!!! But then I realized that volunteering to not bring the pot brownies would just be cruel.

 

This is one of those sociological things which I think does not really lend itself to causal oversimplifications. For instance, I know that for a lot of people, one of the most important factors is quality and depth of relationship, rather than quantity. It could be that those who seek quality would have a great many friends if they could have the quality also, but too often, that's simply hard to find. Also, that kind of relationship is more demanding, so there's a practical limit, time and energy-wise.

 

There are two types of people in the world: Those who divide the world into two groups, and those who don't.

[GraphicsGuy]

I'm extremely extroverted and social now. I thrive on it. Completely feed off the energy in a bar/pub when it's just right.

 

1. I am more comfortable being alone than most people I know:

 

Probably true since I'm an only child and am used to being alone, but if I'm alone for too long or stuck in the house I start going a little stir-crazy and almost depressed.

 

2. I do not need a large circle of friends to be happy:

 

I DO need a large circle. HUGE. The more the better. If no one's available to go out with then I'll go party with total strangers.

 

3. I prefer smaller gatherings to large parties or social events:

 

Actually, I'll take either/or. Small gatherings are great. Large parties are great.

 

And there actually some nights where I just need everyone to go away and leave me alone too. It's a good blend of social and non-social I think.

[noob]

I don’t think I have become more or less sociable since becoming an atheist. For many years I have been an extrovert and I become extremely energized when I am in a large or small group of people. And, I will admit, I like to be the center of attention.

 

However, I also enjoy being alone. I love to read and I enjoy going to restaurants alone and reading while I eat. I love taking long walks by myself, and I treasure my time at home listening to music, puttering around the house, and enjoying the company of my dog, Daisy.

[John09]

I have never been extremely extroverted. I find I am growing more sociable as I get older, though. I would say that I am more sociable now that I am no longer a christian simply because I socialize with a wider range of people than I did before. I am not as selective, and I am more eager to get to know others who are not christians.

[Ouroboros]

There are two types of people in the world: Those who divide the world into two groups, and those who don't.

I thought it was only two types of people: those who divide the world in two groups, and those who don't, and those who can't count.

[florduh]

No, there are 10 types. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

[Franko47]

The process of deconversion and disassociation didn't alter my social life much. My circles of friends changed, though, obviously. I'm still friends with a few Christians, but they are not "doctrinaire" nor have much interest in debate or details. (there's a term for that, I forget what it is)

 

I tend to fluctuate between healthy solitude and socializing. I've always been that way. I'm fortunate to be able to choose which state I want to enjoy, most of the time.

 

That reminds me. Wedding coming up next weekend. Can't get out of it, either. No, it's not mine. Almost a neat joke there.

[I Broke Free]

When I was an active Christian I was always involved with other people and events. I don’t think I ever went four days without something going on. Ah, those were the days…I HATED EVERY SECOND IT! I always felt like every church activity was a big huge fucking chore and I longed to go home. All I wanted to do was Get Saved, I had no idea it involved so much inane socializing.

 

Today after I get home from work I have no desire to see anyone but my partner, and even then not all the time. I have only a few friends and we don’t see each other that often, it suits me just fine.

[Vigile]

Based on the past personality tests posted on this site over the years it would seem that the majority of us are introverted to a relatively large degree. Introverted people tend to be more introspective (in general) than extroverts so it would stand to reason that atheists might be less sociable.

 

I'm pretty introverted myself, but I need balance. If I spend too much time alone I start to need the company of others. I need time alone pretty much every day though, for at least a few hours, otherwise I start to feel nervous and uncomfortable.

 

When I was in church I enjoyed the activities outside of the services. The crowds during the services didn't bother me, just the tedium. There is only so many ways to spin the gospel. Those like me who grew up with it have heard it all. It still boggles my mind that people like my mom and dad can still sit and listen to the same message week after week after having done so for 60+ years. It takes a special kind of compartmentalization to subject one's self to that kind of Chinese water torture.

[Vigile]

I just thought of something. If introverts are more introspective, then introverted xians are also more likely to be attracted to spending time in prayer, study, and contemplation of the bible and the week's sermons. If introverts then tend to deconvert at higher rates than extroverts it stands to reason that atheists are the True™ xians.

 

Put that in your pipe and smoke it for a while.

[Mongo]

I'm looking forward to reading this thread.

 

My own strong sense of independance was important to me being capable of standing alone as I left fundamentalism. Some of you may have noticed that occasionally either disagree with the majority on some issue or post an alternative view. I'm comfortable with that.

 

My sense is that many people (more than the norm) are similar to me than you would find in a general (fundamentalist?)population.

 

That however is not equivalent to being antisocial or less social.

 

So while I am confident there is something in common to many apostates I'm not describing it as less social is the most accurate.

 

Having an interest in aspurgers/autism, I have been thinking for a while on the traits of the fundamentalist and the athiest. What puzzles me is that I find these traits on both sides. It leads me to wonder whether Fundamentalism and Atheism are on opposite end that share the same personality types and the centre is populated by agnostics/deists and liberal religionists.

 

Think about it! A liberal xtian or new age deist/agnostic gets around on their own social skills. Much less than fundamentalists, they don't have religion as the basis for binding them to others. Athiests are... well... out there. They have Star Trek to bind them to others.

 

In my observation, the people with the best social skills are the ones who are less adament about their views and open toward others. As a generalization, that isn't fundys and neither do I think atheists have the best honed social skills. (I find it alot of work) The liberal religionists and middle of the road folks seem to have a better grasp of how to get along socially.

 

This variation on the OP topic is directly related. Your social skills, your ability to read others, your ability to compromise, share, understand other's point of view... essentially your ability to "fit in" is directly connected to to your social life.

 

Food for thought.

 

Mongo

[Neon Genesis]

 

 

Having an interest in aspurgers/autism, I have been thinking for a while on the traits of the fundamentalist and the athiest. What puzzles me is that I find these traits on both sides. It leads me to wonder whether Fundamentalism and Atheism are on opposite end that share the same personality types and the centre is populated by agnostics/deists and liberal religionists.

 

Think about it! A liberal xtian or new age deist/agnostic gets around on their own social skills. Much less than fundamentalists, they don't have religion as the basis for binding them to others. Athiests are... well... out there. They have Star Trek to bind them to others.

 

 

 

I think this is an interesting point to bring up, but how much of an atheist's inability to socialize with Christians in society is because of the actual actions of the atheist or a false perception society has of atheists? I don't have the link on me, but there was a study done recently that was the most comprehensive study done on non-believers and how theists perceive them and they found that theists found agnostics to be less "threatening" than atheists. The idea was that they had this false misconception that agnostics were still open to the idea of reconverting because they had a false perception that agnostics are more open to the idea of a god existing than atheists are yet the atheist was open to converting, they just didn't see any evidence for the claims and Christians falsely perceive this as being dogmatic. It's sort of like geeks in high school that are picked on by bullies and ignored by the "cool" people. Do geeks not socialize because geeks are less sociable than jockeys or do geeks not socialize because the jockeys have a preconceived notion about what geeks are like or is there a combination of both involved? Are atheists less sociable because they're "dogmatic" to Christians or do Christians not want to socialize with atheists because Christians are perceiving atheists as being "dogmatic" but in reality, they just have different views as to what counts as dogmatic and so this makes atheists "less sociable"?

[Mongo]

Having an interest in aspurgers/autism, I have been thinking for a while on the traits of the fundamentalist and the athiest. What puzzles me is that I find these traits on both sides. It leads me to wonder whether Fundamentalism and Atheism are on opposite end that share the same personality types and the centre is populated by agnostics/deists and liberal religionists.

 

Think about it! A liberal xtian or new age deist/agnostic gets around on their own social skills. Much less than fundamentalists, they don't have religion as the basis for binding them to others. Athiests are... well... out there. They have Star Trek to bind them to others.

 

 

 

I think this is an interesting point to bring up, but how much of an atheist's inability to socialize with Christians in society is because of the actual actions of the atheist or a false perception society has of atheists? I don't have the link on me, but there was a study done recently that was the most comprehensive study done on non-believers and how theists perceive them and they found that theists found agnostics to be less "threatening" than atheists. The idea was that they had this false misconception that agnostics were still open to the idea of reconverting because they had a false perception that agnostics are more open to the idea of a god existing than atheists are yet the atheist was open to converting, they just didn't see any evidence for the claims and Christians falsely perceive this as being dogmatic. It's sort of like geeks in high school that are picked on by bullies and ignored by the "cool" people. Do geeks not socialize because geeks are less sociable than jockeys or do geeks not socialize because the jockeys have a preconceived notion about what geeks are like or is there a combination of both involved? Are atheists less sociable because they're "dogmatic" to Christians or do Christians not want to socialize with atheists because Christians are perceiving atheists as being "dogmatic" but in reality, they just have different views as to what counts as dogmatic and so this makes atheists "less sociable"?

 

NG,

 

Let me start with "I don't know" as a Caveat but I have ideas.

 

I have met alot of xtians that have a serious lack of social skills. I remember one guy in Northern New Brunswick in a Pentacostal Church who felt the need to confess the reasons why he felt disdain for his wife. I was disgusted to hear him say this at Sunday School. It was inappropriate because the bottom line of what he said was demeaning to his wife rather than self-effacing. Even during some version of confession of his sins... he turned it into putting someone else down. The bastard! He was certainly verbally violent to her.

 

That said, many xtians were genuinely friendly even though many were equally obsequious and smarmy.

 

Maybe what I'm searching for is an explanation of different mental traps that affect each type of personality. And **maybe** the more/less post-religion social divide is a different for those with high/low social skills. It may also be defined by whether your background was fundamentalist. And yet again, maybe it is more important whether your background is emotional religion or unemotional religion.

 

I am however confident that there is a nugget of truth burried in Chef's OP premise.

 

I need to give this more thought.

 

Mongo

[Vigile]

Maybe what I'm searching for is an explanation of different mental traps that affect each type of personality.

 

There certainly can be mental traps, but we need to be careful and understand that those who fall into the traps are more likely to be the exceptions than the rule. I mention this because it's all too easy to try and categorize people. Some atheists might fit into an extreme category and some fundies might also. Regarding atheism, if there is no god then there is no god. It might just be smart to arrive at this position, not a personality disorder. I guess I can't argue the same for the fundies.

 

Are those with personality disorders more likely to arrive at this conclusion? I don't know. It's an interesting question.

[Mongo]

There certainly can be mental traps, but we need to be careful and understand that those who fall into the traps are more likely to be the exceptions than the rule. I mention this because it's all too easy to try and categorize people.

 

 

True. I like Nicholas Taleb's advice that "We are not imperfect, we are flawed beyond repair".

 

We are designed to find patterns where they do not exist. These flaws, including our emotional nature turn out to be "efficiencies". According to Taleb, those who have the emotional brain separated from the reasoning brain find it impossible to make decisions. After all, if emotions don't interfere, the logical brain should be able to make quick work of problems... shouldn't it? I guess he means that a seemingly innocuous mental habit like an affection for a certain colour then makes it easier to pick between the 3 shades of red for your new car. Our biases and prejudices are efficient mental structures even though they foul us up on occasion.

 

In the end, if we are normal, we don't think straight even if we fool ourselves into thinking we are logical.

 

I've read this elsewhere too.

 

I find this intriguing.

 

Mongo