Texokisiansas

[Thegodthatfailed]

Got the following e-mail from my fanatically right-wing uncle today.

 

Hi Y'all

 

INTRODUCING THE COUNTRY of TEXOKISIANSAS

 

In case things get a little tough during the next few months we in

LOUISIANA, TEXAS, OKLAHOMA, & ARKANSAS have a plan.

 

Maybe you don't know it, but LOUISIANA , TEXAS , OKLAHOMA , &

ARKANSAS HAVE legal right to secede from the Union . (Reference the

Texas/LOUISIANA-American Annexation Treaty of 1848.)

 

US TEXOKISIANSAS love y'all Americans, but we'll probably have to take

action since Barack Obama won the election and is now the President of the

U.S.A. We'll miss ya'll though.

 

Here is what can happen:

 

1. Barack Hussein Obama, after becoming the President of the United

States , begins to try and create a socialist country, then Texas ,

LOUISIANA , ARKANSAS , & OKALAHOMA announces that it is going to secede from

the Union .

 

2. George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of

TEXOKISIANSAS . You might think that he doesn't talk too pretty, but we

haven't had another terrorist attack and the economy was fine until the

effects of the Democrats lowering the qualifications for home loans came to

roost.

 

So what does TEXOKISIANSAS have to do to survive as a Republic?

 

1. NASA is just south of Houston , Texas . We will control the space

industry.

 

2. We refine over 90% of the gasoline in the United States .

 

3. Defense Industry--we have over 65% of it. The term "Don't mess

with THE SOUTH," will take on a whole new meaning.

 

4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of TEXOKISIANSAS

will need for the next 300 years. What will the other states do? Gee, we

don't know. Why not ask Obama?

 

5. Natural Gas - again, we have all we need and it's too bad about

those Northern States. John Kerry and Al Gore will just have to figure out a

way to keep them warm...

 

6. Computer Industry - we lead the nation in producing computer chips

and communications equipment - small companies like Texas Instruments, Dell

Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD,

Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Misconduct, Dallas Semiconductor, Nortel,

Alcatel, etc. The list goes on and on.

 

7. Medical Care - We have the research centers for cancer research,

the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as

other large health centers.

 

8. We have enough colleges to keep educating and making smarter

citizens: University of Texas , Texas A&M, Texas Tech, UNIVERSITY OF

OKLAHOMA , OKLAHOMA STATE UNIVERSITY, UL-LAFAYETTE, UL-MONORE, UNIVERSITY OF

ARKANSAS , LOUISIANA STATE UNIVERSITY , ARKANSAS STATE UNIVERSITY .

 

9. We have an intelligent and energetic work force and it isn't

restricted by a bunch of unions. Here in TEXOKISIANSAS, we are a Right to Work

State and, therefore, it's every man and woman for themselves. We just go

out and get the job done.. And if we don't like the way one company

operates, we get a job somewhere else.

 

10. We have essential control of the paper, plastics, and insurance

industries, etc.

 

11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the TEXOKISIANSAS National

Guard, the TEXOKISIANSAS Air National Guard, and several military bases. We

don't have an Army, but since everybody down here has at least six rifles

and a pile of ammo, we can raise an Army in 24 hours if we need one. If the

situation really gets bad, we can always call the Department of Public

Safety and ask them to send over the Texas Rangers.

 

12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, and

several types of grain, fruit and vegetables, and let's not forget seafood

from the Gulf. Also, everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they

taste good. We don't need any food.

 

13. FIVE of the ten largest cities in the United States , and THIRTY

TWO of the 100 largest cities in the United States are located in

TEXISIANSAS. And TEXOKISIANSAS also has more land than California , New York

, New Jersey , Connecticut , Delaware , Hawaii , Massachusetts , Maryland ,

Rhode Island , and Vermont combined.

 

14. Trade: FIVE of the ten largest ports in the United States are

located in TEXOKISIANSAS

 

15. We also manufacture cars down here, but we don't need to. You

see, nothing rusts in TEXOKISIANSAS so our vehicles stay beautiful and run

well for decades.

 

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of

TEXIOKSIANSAS in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and

don't have.

 

Now to the rest of you folks in the United States under President

Obama:

 

Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only

President Obama will be able to drive around in his big 9 mpg SUV. The rest

of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

 

You won't have any TV as the Space Center in Houston will cut off

satellite communications.

 

You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr.

Obama has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas as long as you

survive the 2000 years it will take to get enough heat from Global Warming.

 

In other words, the rest of ya'll in the USA are screwed!

 

Sleep well tonight 'cause the eyes of TEXOKISIANSAS are on YOU!!

 

Signed, The People of TEXOKISIANSAS

 

P.S. This is not a threatening letter - just a note to give you

something to think about!

 

Fine, if the right-wing,racist,tea-bagging,death panel types want to form their

own country, let them! Let them have their backwards,knuckle-dragging,gawd-fearing,

little hermit kingdom. If liberals suggested this during the Bush admin., they would

have been labeled traitors, terrorists, or worse. How would you response to this?

I mean hypothetically,as I never bother to answer, anyway, as it is just beating my

noggin against a brick wall.

[Shyone]

Got the following e-mail from my fanatically right-wing uncle today.

 

Hi Y'all

 

Fine, if the right-wing,racist,tea-bagging,death panel types want to form their

own country, let them! Let them have their backwards,knuckle-dragging,gawd-fearing,

little hermit kingdom. If liberals suggested this during the Bush admin., they would

have been labeled traitors, terrorists, or worse. How would you response to this?

I mean hypothetically,as I never bother to answer, anyway, as it is just beating my

noggin against a brick wall.

Well, you can't answer it because it's based on fear, not reality.

 

But for the heck of it, there would be problems if those states seceded. The army, some forget, is the United States army. At best, the "National Guard" might stay, but not necessarily since they too took an Oath to defend the Constitution and the US. Also, there would be an incredible brain-drain with the liberal educated intelligensia fleeing for their lives. The companies that refine oil might very well flee as well.

 

NASA doesn't do shit, and it is the "property" of the US.

 

Also, the nuts proposing secession are outnumbered by the illegal aliens and vastly outnumbered by patriotic Americans.

[OpheliaGinger]

Should I assume that once a major disaster hits this new country, they will not be begging for U.S. aid?

[chefranden]

Finally a right wingnut scheme that I'm in favor of.

[Guest Davka]

I've been saying we need to split the USA into smaller, more manageable nations for some time now. I wish them luck, gawdspeed, and don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

 

The only scary part is Bush being President of their redneck nation. We need to make sure they don't have any nukes if they leave - I'm pretty sure those belong to Uncle Sam.

[Guest]

2. George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of TEXOKISIANSAS . You might think that he doesn't talk too pretty, but we

haven't had another terrorist attack and the economy was fine until the effects of the Democrats lowering the qualifications for home loans came to roost.

 

Wasn't it the Republicans that eased the loan restrictions?

[Neon Genesis]

I've been saying we need to split the USA into smaller, more manageable nations for some time now. I wish them luck, gawdspeed, and don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

 

 

But I would feel sorry for all the atheists and other non-fundies living in Texas if they created their own nation.

[Midnight-mindwanderings]

Bush being the leader is truly terrifying. Most Republicans don't like him - why would he be elected? The arrogance of this would irritate the hell out of me if I had gotten it from someone I knew. But seriously. I dare them to secede. It would go fucking great. Just like the first time.

[MeaMaximaCulpa]

Whoah! I read a printout version of that same e-mail a few weeks ago at my grandparents'! My family is starting to alarm me more and more these days...

 

I've been saying we need to split the USA into smaller, more manageable nations for some time now. I wish them luck, gawdspeed, and don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

 

 

But I would feel sorry for all the atheists and other non-fundies living in Texas if they created their own nation.

 

If Texas ever does secede, I'm getting the hell out of here at the first opportunity.

[Shyone]

Bush being the leader is truly terrifying. Most Republicans don't like him - why would he be elected? The arrogance of this would irritate the hell out of me if I had gotten it from someone I knew. But seriously. I dare them to secede. It would go fucking great. Just like the first time.

He's from Texas, he lives there, and he's an ex-governor. And Texas Republicans are not like most Republicans. Of course, he'd probably move to his families estate in Kennebunkport, Maine to keep his fat retirement check.

[Yaoi Huntress Earth]

Bush being the leader is truly terrifying. Most Republicans don't like him - why would he be elected? The arrogance of this would irritate the hell out of me if I had gotten it from someone I knew. But seriously. I dare them to secede. It would go fucking great. Just like the first time.

He's from Texas, he lives there, and he's an ex-governor. And Texas Republicans are not like most Republicans. Of course, he'd probably move to his families estate in Kennebunkport, Maine to keep his fat retirement check.

 

Not to mention that he's a fundamentalist Christian. And a good number of fundies I know believe that as long as a leader is fundamentalist Christian they are automatically good, moral and competiant people whose hypocrasy\incompetience can be brushed aside becuase they're "forgiven". Besides all the bad stuff their leader does can be blamed on the next guy.

[decafaholic]

It's kinda funny...I mean, i'm from the south and we do get tired of being made fun of. But, if the south seceeded, it would be controlled completely by the Southern Baptist Convention, which would make me and my fellow freethinkers applying for immigration to the U.S.!

[Andy]

Maybe you don't know it, but LOUISIANA , TEXAS , OKLAHOMA , &

ARKANSAS HAVE legal right to secede from the Union . (Reference the

Texas/LOUISIANA-American Annexation Treaty of 1848.)

Usually in these emails it's just Texas that has the right to secede. I don't know why Louisiana, Oklahoma and Arkansas were added. In either case, none of them have the right to secede without the consent of the U.S. congress. (here's the Texas annexation treaty)

 

 

1. NASA is just south of Houston , Texas . We will control the space

industry.

And what makes you think NASA will continue to operate without funding from the government you are seceding from? This goes for a few of the other points as well.

 

 

You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr.

Obama has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas as long as you

survive the 2000 years it will take to get enough heat from Global Warming.

Oh yeah. Global Warming was totally Obama's idea.

[Yaoi Huntress Earth]

I wonder how those sepratistits will also handle the fact that New Orleans is also part of their little utopia. Not to mention Texokisiansas is quite a mouthful to say.

[OpheliaGinger]

It's kinda funny...I mean, i'm from the south and we do get tired of being made fun of. But, if the south seceeded, it would be controlled completely by the Southern Baptist Convention, which would make me and my fellow freethinkers applying for immigration to the U.S.!

 

I would try the U.K. first, but if things don't go well, I would apply for U.S. immigration. But wouldn't that be weird; born an American citizen having to take a citizenship test to become a legal citizen.

[Vigile]

I've been saying we need to split the USA into smaller, more manageable nations for some time now. I wish them luck, gawdspeed, and don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

 

The only scary part is Bush being President of their redneck nation. We need to make sure they don't have any nukes if they leave - I'm pretty sure those belong to Uncle Sam.

 

Even if they kept the nukes out of their hands, what would keep them from developing their own? Surely they would have the scientists, the research facilities, etc... to manage weapon's grade plutonium and to create a viable delivery system. A split could never be peaceful for this reason I would think.

[Vixentrox]

Nuclear weapons are scattered around a bunch of locations including in this proposed new "country".

[OpheliaGinger]

I've been saying we need to split the USA into smaller, more manageable nations for some time now. I wish them luck, gawdspeed, and don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

 

The only scary part is Bush being President of their redneck nation. We need to make sure they don't have any nukes if they leave - I'm pretty sure those belong to Uncle Sam.

 

Even if they kept the nukes out of their hands, what would keep them from developing their own? Surely they would have the scientists, the research facilities, etc... to manage weapon's grade plutonium and to create a viable delivery system. A split could never be peaceful for this reason I would think.

 

Science is an affront to god, so either they will be exiled or move out all together.

[Yaoi Huntress Earth]

Maybe we can help the Texians succeed by giving their state back to the Mexicans.

[NotBlinded]

I've been saying we need to split the USA into smaller, more manageable nations for some time now. I wish them luck, gawdspeed, and don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

 

 

But I would feel sorry for all the atheists and other non-fundies living in Texas if they created their own nation.

What about the rest of the us in the remaining states?

 

Go ahead and let them get Bush here...I'll grab one of my guns and, well, you know, go shoot some coke cans.

[NotBlinded]

It's kinda funny...I mean, i'm from the south and we do get tired of being made fun of. But, if the south seceeded, it would be controlled completely by the Southern Baptist Convention, which would make me and my fellow freethinkers applying for immigration to the U.S.!

I'd be in line with you!

[MathGeek]

Why would anybody want to live down there anyway? Driving across Texas is torture, and the summer heat down there is comparable to the first level of Hell (if such a place existed).

 

As the band Alabama once sang...

 

"If you're Gonna Drive in Texas...you gotta have a foot made of lead!"

[OpheliaGinger]

If they do succeed in seceding, their national past time will be book burnings.

[Yaoi Huntress Earth]

Why would anybody want to live down there anyway? Driving across Texas is torture, and the summer heat down there is comparable to the first level of Hell (if such a place existed).

 

Reminds me of what a mixed race friend of mine told me (she's half Black) and a good number of people in Texas when she visited there were looking at her like she should be picking their cotton. And she wasn't even in that small of a town. I think the real problem if these people get their way is whose version of Christianity will they follow? Since some branches don't like others, it might spark some battles.