Guest Exxian Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Hey everyone. I just wanted to get a little advice on a situation. Just a little bit ago I was talking to my cousin online and we eventually started talking politics. I eventually said that a world currency was a definite possibility in our future, and he said something along the lines of "you know what that's a sign of, right". I replied by saying that their is good reason to doubt the authenticity of Revelation, and I was prepared to make a theological argument as to why Christians should doubt their end times prophecy's. I was surprised when he replied by saying that he wasn't sure what he believed anymore. As a result of this statement, I decided it was safe to tell him that I was an atheist. The conversation that followed disturbed me. He basically told me that he probably would have killed himself a while ago if he wasn't so scared of going to hell, and he's scared to investigate Christianity any further because it might destroy what's left of his faith. He said he's worried that he might actually go through with it if that happens. He told me that he was depressed, he felt like a loser and thought his life had no meaning. At this point, I backed off and did not go into any more details about my atheism. I simply said that I went through something similar when I was deconverting, but I realized that I was in charge of my own life and my own happiness and that it's important to accept this regardless of what you believe. I finished off the conversation by telling him he could call me anytime, and that I understand what he's going through. He assured me that he wasn't going to hurt himself, and based on the conversation I don't think he will. I do plan on staying in contact with him a little better than I have, but he's currently living in another part of the world so my conversation with him is kind of limited to skype or aim. However, I'm definitely not going to try and destroy what faith he has left. I'm just going to give him a little support because he knows he can tell me just about anything now. Does anybody else have any other advice? Some Christians reading this might wonder why I'm blaming Christianity for this situation. My cousin grew up in a fundamentalist Christian home just like me. Christianity teaches that you are worthless without Christ, that your life has no meaning without God, and that hell awaits those that don't believe. When parents teach their kids about Christianity, I'm sure they believe they are giving them purpose and meaning in their lives. But what happens if they decide to question it? What happens if that foundation crumbles? If they find nothing else to grasp then they will be in a similar situation as my cousin. Christianity can potentially rob children of the opportunity to develop a healthy self-esteem and self-worth, and I find it reprehensible. I just hope my cousin realizes soon that the very belief he thinks is keeping him from harming himself is probably the same belief that is causing him so much torment. Once again any other advice on this situation would be great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 I don't remember that Revelation mentioned a world currency. It talked about a mark of the beast, but not a currency. Or is that the new interpretation now? The mark was the barcode for awhile, and then it was the computer chip, and at some time it was the VISA company, so I'm not sure what the latest 666 hysteria is. I think for all conspiracy theory brains, anything is a "sign" to support their belief. I'm sorry about your friend. It's not fun that people have depression like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Exxian Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 I don't remember that Revelation mentioned a world currency. It talked about a mark of the beast, but not a currency. Or is that the new interpretation now? The mark was the barcode for awhile, and then it was the computer chip, and at some time it was the VISA company, so I'm not sure what the latest 666 hysteria is. I think for all conspiracy theory brains, anything is a "sign" to support their belief. I'm sorry about your friend. It's not fun that people have depression like that. I don't think it does, but a lot of Christians look at mentions of world currency with suspicion now because it's a sign of "world unity", which they believe is a sign of the end times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loren Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 I'm definitely not going to try and destroy what faith he has left. I'm just going to give him a little support because he knows he can tell me just about anything now. I think this is the very best thing you can do for him right now. Just knowing you're there without judgment coming from either direction will do him more good than any number of atheist books, self-help books and so on. Letting him just be himself and say what's really on his mind without shoving him in some direction or other will create kind of a social safe space for him to be able to be real with at least one person in his life. That's what real friends who really care do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShallowByThyGame Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 Check in with him now and then...if he knows that you understand where he's coming from and got through it he may find comfort in talking to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeygirl Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 Check in with him now and then...if he knows that you understand where he's coming from and got through it he may find comfort in talking to you. Has he thought about going to a therapist? if that seems like a terrible option then just keeping in touch is a good idea. I went to church several times after I stopped believing it all and I noticed things that never stood out before as being odd or unhealthy. The message of "worthlessness" you speak of was one of them. I heard it my whole life growing up but I was sitting there in church and that message kept popping up in the sermons, in the songs, in the prayers, its all about being worthless, being nothing without god. That's very unhealthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Davka Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 Suicidal thoughts are a classic sign of clinical depression. There are meds for that now - he should really see a doctor. See if he's open to the idea. If his pastor is not a serious nutcase, I bet he would recommend the same thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheAmberShow Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 There are two kinds of ways to know something is logical and true. 1. You know that it's logical, because it is. 2. You feel in your "heart/soul/fibers of your being/emotional" that it's logical. I know that the fundie Christian stuff I was taught is irrational. Easy, left-brain logic stuff. I can argue against it from a rational standpoint easy-peasy. Getting to the place that you let it go on an emotional level is much more difficult. Occasionally I have a few too many glasses of wine and cry because I don't believe in God anymore. (I can't believe I'm admitting that!) Your cousin is probably in the same place. He knows. A lot of them, even the ones that go to church every week know. Smart, rational people know. It's the emotional part that hurts, that you fight against, that HE'S fighting through. Of course he's afraid of doing something that will have his faith crumble. Let him be, and help him grow his logic. Eventually, it will overshadow the fundie stuff, and he'll be able to let it go, because his rational thought will be so strong. He needs you, and you need to be gentle. It's a tough process. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulQ Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Many Christians in this boat feel as though they're losing something by leaving their faith; they fail to recognize all the things that they gain. There's a lot of unnecessary guilt that can be shed. Once you realize you are truly free in determining your own future, it can be scary or maybe even depressing at first. Eventually, it becomes empowering. The trick is getting him into the empowered stage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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