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Goodbye Jesus

I Went To Church After 2 Years Away


ogilvy

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I went to church last week for a baptism (adult). It was a strange feeling to be there as a non believer. Part of me wished I could like it again, to fit in and make loved ones happy. Part of me liked the story told of how a person 'got saved'. But I kept going back to '...but God is so cruel...' (to make it that people have to get saved or go to hell), so it still didnt work for me. Very strange feeling indeed, being back in church. I didn't mind the others loving it, but I can never love it again.

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Ahhh...well at least you got to see someone else "take the plunge." :lmao: (I amuse myself)

 

Were there donuts?

 

mwc

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Ahhh...well at least you got to see someone else "take the plunge." :lmao: (I amuse myself)

 

Were there donuts?

 

mwc

Dunkin' Donuts, that's a given. Of course they must've had donuts.

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I have to go next week, one of my friends is having her baby dedicated. It's dh's new church though, not my old one thankfully, so that helps.

 

Talking of dunking, I heard this week that one of my dd's friends got baptised last week at my old church. She is ten years old. I actually cried when I heard. Even as a Christian I didn't agree with adult baptism of children! Her parents aren't even Christians either, she got converted by being taken to church by a friend's family. The mother of whom is a crazy fundy who actually talked about someone being attacked by the devil (because they were catholic and had issues with our church) when I took my daughter for an appointment with her (she is a GP), in front of my daughter as well. I should have reported her.

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I had to go to a funeral at a Baptist church the other week. Every time I sit in church now days I realize just how ridiculous and uneducated Pastors sound. This guy was talking about how everyone has 2 choices heaven or hell whats your choice gonna be?! He also kept indicating that America is a godless nation and that so few choose the Christian path. I was taught this growing up and would have sworn the world was full of Atheist. Now I realize its actually the opposite just look at stats...surely this guy knows that 70% of Americans consider themselves christian.

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I'm proud to say that I haven't attended a church "service" other than a wedding or funeral in over 33 years. Here's to the next 33. 68.gif

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I still go for my wife and children. I don't sit and listen to the service. Just visit with the ushers out in the foyer. Sometime I go home and come back to pick up my family. But this Sunday, I've been asked to do a magic show for the fall kick-off. I asked if they were okay with me using the word 'magic' and they told me they would prefer if I would use 'illusion' instead. So, I'll be respectful and do my best. Now, what magic tricks should I do? Hmmmmmmm...Oh, I know! I'll turn a stick into a snake, and then back to a stick again! Oh! Then I can put my hand in my pocket and pull it out and show it's full of leprosy! Oh, the ideas are coming now!

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I went to a church tonight...

 

... for a rock gig!

 

So so good, and so weird being in a proper church, with pews and stained glass windows and everything.

 

Wow.

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Now, what magic tricks should I do? Hmmmmmmm...Oh, I know! I'll turn a stick into a snake, and then back to a stick again! Oh! Then I can put my hand in my pocket and pull it out and show it's full of leprosy! Oh, the ideas are coming now!

Suddenly I'm reminded of that scene from the animated kid's movie, The Prince Of Egypt, where the Egyptian sorcerers pretend to be able to perform miracles to disprove Moses.
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Now, what magic tricks should I do? Hmmmmmmm...Oh, I know! I'll turn a stick into a snake, and then back to a stick again! Oh! Then I can put my hand in my pocket and pull it out and show it's full of leprosy! Oh, the ideas are coming now!

Suddenly I'm reminded of that scene from the animated kid's movie, The Prince Of Egypt, where the Egyptian sorcerers pretend to be able to perform miracles to disprove Moses.

 

I barely remember that movie! Ha! I should watch it again. I just remember the biblical account of how the Egyptian magicians turned their staffs into snakes and then Moses turned his staff into a snake and his snake ate the others. I wonder if he learned his trick from the VIP section of magictricks.com?

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Now, what magic tricks should I do? Hmmmmmmm...Oh, I know! I'll turn a stick into a snake, and then back to a stick again! Oh! Then I can put my hand in my pocket and pull it out and show it's full of leprosy! Oh, the ideas are coming now!

I skimmed the above and saw "I can put my hand in my pocket and pull it out and show it's full of a snake." :eek:

 

There's one for the biddy's in the front rows. :HaHa:

 

mwc

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