Debating On Leaving Xianity For Odinism

[Outlaw393]

Three years ago, in early 2006, I became Pagan. This was two years before I found my current church which I have attended for over a year. Then in 2007 I found Asatru and then Odin. I really got in touch with Odin in 2008 and now feel a great connection to him even now.

 

I don't honestly know how to practice Asatru, and Wicca is pretty much all I know when it comes to the nitty gritty practices and beliefs of any Pagan religion.

 

Regarding xianity, I find myself unable to continue to follow Christ, I feel limited by all the many rules and regulations. Who to worship, how to practice, when to practice, etc. As an Odinist, I can follow the God who I feel a connection to, and follow the pantheon that has called me for over two years. I even initiated myself into Saxon Wicca.

 

However, I too have a very hard time pulling myself away from the pentecostal, charismatic church that I have belonged to for a year and a half. They're almost like a second family, but a church that looks down on me because I cut my hair short (I'm a woman) and usually refuse to wear skirts to church - they cite some chapter in the bible where paul talks about how women should have long hair - I don't feel like I should continue to attend when I'm tempted to leave.

 

I was out for 3 months during the summer, having lost all faith even in god. However, now I know I'm no Atheist. I'm an Agnostic pagan at best.

 

So, the internal debate continues...even if I do leave I'll probably be pulled back in like so many others.

[Guest Davka]

I have to wonder - what is it you're looking for? It sounds as though you feel you have no control over your faith choices . . . am I reading that correctly?

 

Trading one set of mythological deities for another just strikes me as a bit - odd. Blue Giant can probably relate, but I'm left scratching my head.

[Shyone]

I have to wonder - what is it you're looking for? It sounds as though you feel you have no control over your faith choices . . . am I reading that correctly?

 

Trading one set of mythological deities for another just strikes me as a bit - odd. Blue Giant can probably relate, but I'm left scratching my head.

Speaking of Giants, I went from worshipping Jesus to worshipping the Jolly Green Giant.

But the call to worship, "EAT ME!" was just too much.

[OpheliaGinger]

Why debate? Just go for it. BTW, do the older women have long hair; I doubt it.

[Thurisaz]

...a church that looks down on me because I cut my hair short (I'm a woman) and usually refuse to wear skirts to church - they cite some chapter in the bible where paul talks about how women should have long hair - I don't feel like I should continue to attend when I'm tempted to leave.

 

I'd rather say you shouldn't attend if you feel that it's wrong for you. Hey I've been to churches every now and then even after I joined the Asatruar... mainly because sometimes I like to remind myself that over here in Germany most christians are not morontheist nutjobs.

 

That said... short hair and no skirts eh? You may want to remind them that they have no right to criticize your choice of hairdo and clothing as long as their men still wear pants. Gee if I had a single € for every time those morontheists forget (well it's more like they choose to ignore) that men in babblical times and places wore what we'd call skirts/dresses today...

[OpheliaGinger]

That said... short hair and no skirts eh? You may want to remind them that they have no right to criticize your choice of hairdo and clothing as long as their men still wear pants. Gee if I had a single € for every time those morontheists forget (well it's more like they choose to ignore) that men in babblical times and places wore what we'd call skirts/dresses today...

 

Men also wore these:

[Outlaw393]

BTW, do the older women have long hair; I doubt it.

 

Yes, they do.

[Outlaw393]

Trading one set of mythological deities for another just strikes me as a bit - odd.

 

Gods are not 'mythological' to me. And likewise, not everyone is an atheist. What you call mythological/fake is very real to me.

[OpheliaGinger]

BTW, do the older women have long hair; I doubt it.

 

Yes, they do.

 

This tells me a lot of what you are getting away from. If the older women have long hair (due to doctrine), run as far away as you possibly can.

[Deva]

Outlaw, why do you feel compelled to return to this church? Is it just the social contact?

 

Isn't that just torturing yourself? Why not make a clean break and pursue your pagan religion? If you feel a great connection with Odin, in my opinion it would be better to devote yourself to that which gives you inspiration.

 

I am only contributing here because I know how difficult it is to switch religions.

[Outlaw393]

Outlaw, why do you feel compelled to return to this church? Is it just the social contact?

 

Isn't that just torturing yourself? Why not make a clean break and pursue your pagan religion? If you feel a great connection with Odin, in my opinion it would be better to devote yourself to that which gives you inspiration.

 

I am only contributing here because I know how difficult it is to switch religions.

 

Honestly I don't know. But every time I break away I get drawn right back to Christianity. And yes, I agree. I should pursue what I honestly believe.

 

[Thurisaz]

Well then sister... if you know what you're getting into (meaning, if you made sure what you call Odinism is not really one of the "ariosophic" crap gangs )... go ahead!

[Guest Davka]

I heartily recommend dropping Christianity for onanism.

 

*runs*

[Outlaw393]

I heartily recommend dropping Christianity for onanism.

 

*runs*

 

Well, for sure. Then yesterday was my last Sunday at a christian church for a very long time.

[Outlaw393]

Tomorrow I plan on going nowhere. Well, except to work.

 

I still need to figure out what to tell the people I used to go to church with. I'm thinking of telling them that I'm leaving the denomination. That way they'll figure eventually that I'm done and gone and I'm not coming back. And it'll make it stupid for me to think of going back.

 

Hmm.

 

What do you think?

[Midnight-mindwanderings]

I left Christianity for paganism, but I did not like my church so there was no question about leaving as soon as I could. If its unhealthy/ harmful to you, I would leave and perhaps continue the relationships that matter if possible. Maybe you could try a UU church as they would have the more open minded pagan flair to their services and you could meet like minded people and have the social interaction and ritualized service you are accustomed to. I plan to try a UU church when I move in the next few weeks. Sometimes solitary practice can be really good for you though. Helps you focus on what you believe and why and develop whatever spirituality means most to you. I don't necessarily think that the gods exist as gods, but manifestations of human pysche and myths are important expressions of that so I understand the importance they have to you.

 

I am interested in what brings you back to Christianity, or is just the church in particular? I hope you don't go back out of guilt or fear, if that is the case you should definitely take a break because its not healthy to feel that way.

 

Blessed be and let us know how it turns out.

[Outlaw393]

No, UU isn't an option, there are no UU churches in central wisconsin.

 

I never went back to the church because of guilt or fear. It was always a feeling like Jesus was calling to me, drawing me back in. I would miss the fellowship and the worship services. So I'd go back and swallow my pride.

 

But the bottom line is, I can't follow Jesus anymore. And I'm not much into the UPCI and their holiness beliefs. It's just not me.

 

[L2K]

I know how you're feeling about being drawn back. I've also been out of Xianity and in Asatru since 2006 and feel the tugs all the time. The tugs are probably going to be around for a long time. When I deconverted, my social life basically went downhill and a part of me has felt guilty about it ever since. Unforunate things would happen when it happens and people who knew you at church will make sure you feel as bad as you can (except maybe for a few people that have some sense and don't want to force you back)

 

People twisted me around until I just stopped going out and putting up with them all. You just have to try to let go of church and what you left behind. You don't have to let go of your friends, but you need to try to let go of Xianity and rid yourself of its mental hold on you. It's not easy, I haven't been able to fully get rid of its grip on me, but just strive for it. In times where I feel guilty, a good dose of Viking Metal (Manowar, mostly) really does the trick.

 

It's a tough road, but you can make it.

[MultifariousBirdLady]

I don't honestly know how to practice Asatru, and Wicca is pretty much all I know when it comes to the nitty gritty practices and beliefs of any Pagan religion.

 

I know some Asatru practitioners who might be able to put you in touch with someone, or at least provide useful websites and reading material. One thing to be careful of as an Odinist, though, is that SOME forms of Asatru/Odinism advocate racism.

 

I understand the desire to stick with a God you feel connected to. For me that's some of the Greek Gods.

 

However, I too have a very hard time pulling myself away from the pentecostal, charismatic church that I have belonged to for a year and a half. ... I don't feel like I should continue to attend when I'm tempted to leave.

 

Why exactly are you staying? What would happen if you simply didn't go back?

[MultifariousBirdLady]

I never went back to the church because of guilt or fear. It was always a feeling like Jesus was calling to me, drawing me back in. I would miss the fellowship and the worship services. So I'd go back and swallow my pride.

 

But the bottom line is, I can't follow Jesus anymore. And I'm not much into the UPCI and their holiness beliefs. It's just not me.

 

I can understand that fellowship = friendship for many people. Is this the sense you mean?

 

What about the worship services did you miss? Perhaps there might be some other place or way to get that which doesn't involve Christianity.

 

I've heard that some ex-Pentes miss getting caught up in the music and experiencing "ecstatic" states of mind during worship. If that's what you miss, Pagan drum circles which include dancing might provide that for you.

[Non-Redneck]

 

So, the internal debate continues...even if I do leave I'll probably be pulled back in like so many others.

 

I think you are attracted to the sense of community you have in the church, and not Jesus. You have something familiar in the church, while leaving it causes uncertainty.

 

Remember that Yahweh and Jesus demand that you follow them only. If you follow some other deity, you are automatically rejected by Yahweh/Jesus unless you drop your other god. If you are not prepared to do that, then how can you follow a god who demands exclusivity?

[Hungrydingo]

They're incorporating Odin into Wiccanism now? While the stories of the old Norse gods are fascinating, I find it rather silly to worship any of them by todays standards. Especially considering they're all going to die at Ragnarok, doesn't exactly say all powerful or worthy of worship of a deity can be told he's going to die and exactly how it's going to happen but still let it happen anyway. I would be curious to know exactly what Wiccans believe about Odin.

[Thurisaz]

One thing to be careful of as an Odinist, though, is that SOME forms of Asatru/Odinism advocate racism.

 

More like "some things that look like Asatru".

The "ariosophic" morons really work on a bizarre mix of ancient Nordic concepts, jebus cult crap and other shit (for example, more than a few of them claim that old Baldur is really jebus ).

[Midnight-mindwanderings]

In response to Hungrydingo and OP:

Wicca is an extremely broad term that I think confuses people sometimes. Some wiccans are purely dual-theistic, some have pantheons of various cultures(Egyptian, Norse, Celtic etc) some chose one deity to devote to.

 

Generally, in my experience, Wiccans don't consider what they do worship, and don't consider gods all powerful. Its so very different than what Patriarchal religions believe its hard to explain and takes a long time to understand. Also from what Thurisaz especially says Odinism is a bit more specific than just Wicca, though I never studied it in depth myself. I went towards the Italian witchcraft as per my heritage.

 

I guess what i am saying is, any pagans who want to discuss religion have a lot of extra explaining since the word 'pagan' or 'wiccan' doesn't really clear much up. No central body defining it, no dogma detailing it. A friend of mine hates pagans for that reason - you never know what they mean by it unless they explain it for 5 hours.

 

I am pantheistic and I follow Italian rituals both because I enjoy the heritage and because I love symbolism and ritual and freaking out my neighbors. I don't believe gods are actual beings but manifestations of human imagination and desires and are mental tools we can use for our benefit. I prefer the term pagan to wiccan (because I've known too many wiccans -lol) but labels aren't my hang up. What I believe doesn't necessarily have any baring on what other pagans or wiccans believe nor does it really have any baring on reality. I say often enough that the real world is over rated

 

Anyhow, I am sorry to hear that you don't have any UU churches near you, and likely no drum circles or the like either. I hope you find a group of people somewhere to help fill that longing and that can help you grow. Best of luck to you!

[Outlaw393]

I can understand that fellowship = friendship for many people. Is this the sense you mean?

 

I've heard that some ex-Pentes miss getting caught up in the music and experiencing "ecstatic" states of mind during worship. If that's what you miss, Pagan drum circles which include dancing might provide that for you.

 

Fellowship means getting together with people who share your beliefs. You don't necessarily have to be friends with them. You hit it right on the head with the Pentecostal church services, however there is nothing Pagan around here. Nothing. Zero, Zip, Zilch, Nada, Null. No covens, no kindreds.