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GraphicsGuy
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I actually hate whining, but I need to let this out. I need to have a pity party at the moment.

 

Fact is, this house-arrest is completely kicking the shit out of me. I'm almost done...soooooo close now (8 days left).

 

Yeah, I did something wrong, but I've been punished for it over and over and over again.

 

I am so tired of all the self-improvement stuff I've been going through. 2.5 years of fighting constant mental and emotional battles. Winning them and then having more thrown at me.

 

It's been a constant unending stream and I'm completely sick of it.

 

I'm tired of being the nice guy and good guy. I'm tired of being honest. It hasn't done me a lousy bit of good. Being an asshole and lying through your teeth seems to be what people actually expect.

 

I'm tired of being lonely and meeting the wrong people...or meeting the right people who end up being emotionally unavailable or involved in current relationships or whatever.

 

I'm tired of being angry, but I can't let go.

 

I'm tired of hating, but people won't just let me live my life.

 

I'm tired of being controlled.

 

I know I will get through this and it all will eventually end, but I'm exhausted and worn out right now and I don't know what to do about it.

 

I need a 3 month vacation to Rio or some place with tons of alcohol and naked women...

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I actually hate whining, but I need to let this out. I need to have a pity party at the moment.

 

 

I need a 3 month vacation to Rio or some place with tons of alcohol and naked women...

Start planning, but remember that getting arrested in Rio is no fun either.

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Vent away - sometimes it just feels good to get it out there!

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Have you tried counselling? Seriously. When life sucks that hard, it's time to get help.

 

Been there, done that. Burned the t-shirt.

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I spoke with some friends about these problems. Know what we all realized?

 

I've had too much counseling. The effort I've put into my mental/emotional recovery has been overdone and it's actually starting to have the opposite effect now. My life is over-balanced in that direction.

 

So, now it's time to concentrate on the physical. Next week I am ending my counseling (for a while) and hiring a personal trainer. Proper exercise and diet and some more physical activities in my life.

 

Change is coming. Just have to make it happen.

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I spoke with some friends about these problems. Know what we all realized?

 

I've had too much counseling. The effort I've put into my mental/emotional recovery has been overdone and it's actually starting to have the opposite effect now. My life is over-balanced in that direction.

 

So, now it's time to concentrate on the physical. Next week I am ending my counseling (for a while) and hiring a personal trainer. Proper exercise and diet and some more physical activities in my life.

 

Change is coming. Just have to make it happen.

 

Sounds good. Talking to friends is the original counselling - they know you better than some professional with a degree anyways.

 

I like the personal trainer idea. As long as you're actively moving forward, instead of wallowing in your crap . . . I think that's where a lot of people get "stuck" in counselling, or even without it. Focus on where you're going, and there's a chance you might get there.

 

Anyhow, you sound a lot more hopeful this morning than you did last night. Darwin's mercies are new every morning!

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May or may not be of help, but here is what i've discovered on my own. The hardest part of getting through this life without dragging yourself and the people you love through too much shit is actually identifying what you want out of life. It's not as easy as you think. Too often we go for what we think other people want us to do or what we think will make other people like us. If you're going for your real dream, you're being authentic about it, and you stay away from the people who try to drag you down, you tend to attract the kind of people that can help you. My own father tried to tell me that being a musician was no different than being a prostitute or a bank robber. Thankfully, i was hard-headed enough to ignore his stupid advice.

 

Another related tip: People who are always easy to get along with are the ones who are often very unhappy with themselves. I don't let it bother me at all that some people (maybe i should say many!) don't like me. I like me, and that's what really counts!! IOW, being pleasant all the time is not all it's cracked up to be.

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My own father tried to tell me that being a musician was no different than being a prostitute or a bank robber.

 

That's absurd! Prostitutes and bank robbers get paid way better than musicians!

 

Q: What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend?

A: Homeless.

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Q: What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend?

A: Homeless.

 

 

 

It's bizarre to consider that during my rocker years, I noticed that bass players usually got the most chicks.

 

Drummers often lived at home. More bizarre.

 

Guitarists (like me) always took themselves too seriously or not enough.

 

Vocalists are usually pricks. I have no theory about this.

 

Keyboard players will eventually decide that "we" are all beneath them.

 

Sax players always believe they are mighty alpha males, cuz they can blow hard.

 

Female rock musicians are always twice as ambitious, but the drawback is they will always sleep with an agent or producer. (cries)

 

All producers are totally incompetent musicians, but try to hide this fact.

 

*results will vary at times*

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Sorry you're feeling, we all need to vent. Maybe focusing on the body as well as the mind might do some good or just cutting loose could help. I found that when I finally got laid a good number of my sexual anxieties went away.

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