Jump to content

Upon Deconversion, Was It Party Time?


Vomit Comet
 Share


Recommended Posts

How hog-wild ape-shit crazy mad did you go once Jesus wasn't cramping your style any longer?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No party time for me. The party scene is so foreign to me that I would probably feel very out of place in a party situation.

 

In fact, regarding alcohol consumption, even though I don't see anything wrong with responsible drinking, I've never even tasted any alcohol (not counting small doses of Nyquil), despite being 36 years old and having deconverted 6-7 years ago. I don't really have any desire to, although that may be subject to change sometime.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My behavior never changed, my thinking did.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is actually a good question since many believers think we left to enjoy "sin". My own behaviors didn't really change, other than to quit beating myself up for being human. Humans like sex, can get angry at bullshit, and like to keep the money they earn. Condemnation went out the window, but I haven't turned into an asshole. On the contrary, I've become more accepting of other people's differences. I turned off Fox News, started playing piano, collect lovely gemstones from New Age shops, know several witches, am taking Reiki classes, still love my believing friends and family (though they can be annoying in their devotion to The Abuser). I am faithful to my wife and am still kind to animals. I'm more open to life now that the self-imposed walls came down and there is no devil out there trying to trick me into damnation.

 

So no real "party time", but definitely more peace of mind and joyful exploration of life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The only real difference is that I use profanity now and then, I look at beautiful women without feeling guilty, I enjoy a beer here and there and I listen to classic rock. I'm not a party animal. I don't have any desire to kill any more brain cells. I need all I have right now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here were my answers:

 

Q: How strict was the morality in your church?

 

A: Pretty strict.

 

No one could enforce it, but people were taught to avoid "ungodly" music (which included christian rock even) and to not go to the movie theater.

 

Q: How closely did you follow your church's beliefs about moral behavior?

 

A: Halfway; I was selective you could say.

 

Over time I drifted further and further from fundamentalism to a moderate position.

 

Q: Did your level of moral behavior vary over time?

 

A: I was like a roller coaster, going from high to low and back again, rather dramatically.

 

I had big things down, but the whole sin concept had me all screwed up, especially with the belief that masturbation was a sin. That caused me a shit load of issues.

 

Q: How much shit, blowback, or sanction did you get from the church for your behavior while you were still in it?

 

A: It would happen every once in a while. Mostly just rinky dink stuff.

 

I was considered a role model and someone whom the "Lord would use in great ways."

 

Q: How strict was the (Christian) morality of your family?

 

A: Pretty lax, I'd say.

 

I'm allowed to believe whatever I want and read whatever I want. Extremely lax by fundie standards.

 

Q: How strong was the (Christian) morality among your Christian peers?

 

A: Pretty lax.

 

I always got flak from them for being too spiritual. I viewed them as carnal hypocrites.

 

Q: Did your Christian morality start slipping before you deconverted?

 

A: No, not at all.

 

Not even the slightest. But I consider my deconversion to have started from my first doubts, thus it was a rather long period of time.

 

Q: How "wild" did you go after you deconverted?

 

A: A tiny bit.

 

I haven't exactly had a lot of room to go "wild". I started listening to a lot of "thah debil's music".

 

Q: How many years has it been since you deconverted?

 

A: Less than six months.

 

Still pretty fresh.

 

Q: How much have you mellowed out since your post-deconversion spree?

 

A: I'm pretty much the same.

 

So there ya go.

 

I certainly didn't leave to "enjoy a life of sin". Unless it was the one sin I couldn't seem to beat. (rofl.. beat)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I voted "even more boring".

 

'Bout all I did was masturbate a little more often and watch kinkier porn, but nobody knew that up 'til just now. :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As for the first four questions, church didn't have very much of an effect on my morality. I pretty much went once a week, sat in the audience (there isn't much participation in a Catholic mass) then went home and forgot about it. There was absolutely no sanction from the church when I would do something wrong. Among my Christian peers, I voted "virtually nonexistent." And I went to a Catholic school.

 

After I deconverted, like the rest of you, my behavior didn't change very much, if at all. I just felt less guilty about it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is there anybody who went ape-shit once the chains were off? We'd love to hear from ya.

 

Great responses so far, y'all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Q: How strict was the morality in your churches?

 

A: Moderately.

 

Q: How closely did you follow your church's beliefs about moral behavior?

 

A: Not really closely. I was more concerned with the Bible. I flaked from even that.

 

Q: Did your level of moral behavior vary over time?

 

A: Yes, it was a rollcaster, no doubt.

 

Q: How much shit, blowback, or sanction did you get from the church for your behavior while you were still in it?

 

A: Never got shit from my church. But did get shit from my peers and Dad.

 

Q: How strict was the (Christian) morality of your family?

 

A: I have to clarify this. My mum is technically an ex christian since 1980 but she's just apathetic ever since but my dad's strict Christian.

 

Q: How strong was the (Christian) morality among your Christian peers?

 

A: Pretty lax, I would say. But I did preach to them, though.

 

Q: Did your Christian morality start slipping before you deconverted?

 

A: Yes, a lot. It was too much.

 

Q: How "wild" did you go after you deconverted?

 

A: As I was 14 at the time, in a way, I went really wild with my cartooning, I could draw whatever I liked after abandoning the self ban against drawing evil ungodly stuff. I read what I liked despite dad's beliefs, did some rebellion and came out as gay at 16.

 

Q: How many years has it been since you deconverted?

 

A: Almost 6 years.

 

Q: How much have you mellowed out since your post-deconversion spree?

 

A: I'm so mellowed out, I selected 'Mellowed as understatement' option!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My behavior never changed, my thinking did.

Same for me. Question #3 does not take this into account. It implies that one has to have been less moral after deconversion (or erratically immoral throughout). I have always been what I consider to be moral.

 

Of course, what I consider moral might freak a Baptist.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I sort of agree with shyone. I never think I behaved immorally. According to my church i was immoral for having non christian friends and dying my hair pink. Afterwards I was certainly immoral for getting sexual with my boyfriend and cussing and ditching class. I have been drunk, I have been high, but I have done these things very few times. I have no problem with it, I honestly don't have the opportunity to 'party' ever. I am pretty sure that deconverting made me more moral - even in a christian way. I lied less, was actually less likely to drink or do drugs, was just a better person. The christians I knew did way more partying than my group of heathen friends ever did. Our idea of a party was chips, mtn dew and DnD. Huh... still is. I like being a loser :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest ephymeris

My answers don't really fit into the poll. When I went through deconversion 8-9 years ago, there was really no change in my behavior. I had always been an introvert and I was really too shy to get into any real trouble. In the past 2-3 years I'd say has been the biggest swing in my behavior but mostly because I moved out of state, made new friends, tried new things, and found new self confidence in doing these things and felt more free to act as I saw fit. Even now, I wouldn't exactly think I was completely wild...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nothing much changed in how I live my life other than not wasting my Sundays and Wednesday nights keeping a pew warm. As for partying, getting drunk, or anything else along that line, well, I went through that phase when most people do (early 20's) - when I was still a christian.

 

The only thing that really changed for me was my thinking - there are a variety of things that I have become more open minded about or started to consider that I never would have before, but my life itself hasn't really changed at all.

 

I would think that if someone was likely to go "wild" after deconverting they'd most likely be at an age where they'd be likely to do it no matter what - and probably not most of the time even then.

 

This is one of the reasons I had posted that poll on that christian forum - seems a lot of christians are under the impression we're just out to have a wild and crazy life, yet from my personal experience and what I saw here, realized that wasn't really the case. Guess this poll is, thus far, confirming that!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The bible didn't tell me how to be moral, I simply used it when I needed to justify my morality. When I left the Bible behind I had to learn how to defend my actions with reason instead of scripture.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I didn't feel like I went wild or changed much at all - except for feeling an immense sense of relief- but the church I'd been going to definitely put me in the category of wild immoral hedonist.

 

My deconversion coincided with a divorce in which my ex-husband remained the darling of the church. He spread rumors that I'd been cheating on him (untrue) and wanted out of both Christianity and the marriage because I wanted to live sinfully with no accountability. He told this to other mutual Christian friends outside our church as well and even some of the people I'd been closest to and known the longest turned their backs on me. I will say that this isn't a strictly Christian phenomenon though - a lot of people love believing gossip regardless of religion.

 

I ended up in a deliberately unmarried long term relationship, and the fact that we did not get married is enough for most Christians (and a few judgmental non-Christians, lol) to consider me as someone who went wild.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I indulged myself in reading self-help books (I know, ha ha). But for me it was a cool breeze reading things about the mind that wasn't of the "miserable sinner" paradigm that I had imbibed for years.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How hog-wild ape-shit crazy mad did you go once Jesus wasn't cramping your style any longer?

 

 

I didn't. I started smoking pot regularly about a month or so before I left church for good. I really never had much of a moral issue with marijuana. As for anything else....I just act like I always have and I'm worried about some big spirit judging me for it. Freddy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nothing much changed in how I live my life other than not wasting my Sundays and Wednesday nights keeping a pew warm. As for partying, getting drunk, or anything else along that line, well, I went through that phase when most people do (early 20's) - when I was still a christian.

 

There are some of us who squandered our teens and twenties because we took all that shit that seriously. What a waste!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I converted as an adult to fundy Baptist. Yesh our church was strict. But I had my own personal morality that didn't necessarily follow what the pastor at the time was preaching. I actually had higher standards in some areas, and lower ones in other areas. When I deconverted I went a little wild for awhile with drinking and sexual encounters. I eventually mellowed out and eased back on the drinking, and have had serial monogamous relationships like most people. 18 years as an adult fundy repressing had to backfire a little.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Holy COW, was that ever a long poll! :grin:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.