Have They Ever Told You That You Didn't Miss Much?

[Vomit Comet]

Sometimes I get a little buzzed, and I start bitching about my life.

 

"I wasted my fucking teens and twenties on that shit. I didn't try drugs, I never got to fuck anybody until I was 27, one year before I became an agnostic, and I'm 31 now. I've only fucked two women. I never went to crazy parties. I never had any real adventures. I have no tales to tell."

 

And then they tell me "you didn't miss much." Or "you're lucky you didn't experience all the drama that went with it."

 

And I get even more pissed off. I don't give a shit about drugs, but I would give anything to go back and get twenty or fifty different fucks under my belt. There are several times where "I shoulda fucked her when I had the chance", and it fucking hurts. I feel like I'll never get over all those missed opportunities. I'd do anything to go back and get a redo. I'm 31 and I'm too old to behave like a shit-head 21 year old and chase young chicks around, but I wish I could go back and do it all over again.

 

I wish that today I could be doing group sex and orgies and threesomes and all that other fun stuff, but in my current situation that's not going to happen, and at times it torments me. And my girl-getting skills are so stunted and underdeveloped thanks in large part to years of Christ-based self-stifling, I wouldn't be able to feed my own rampaging sexual desires were I presently at liberty to do so. Sometimes I wish somebody would just chop my balls off. I don't give a fuck that I never got to do cocaine when I was 17 or whatever, I simply don't give a fuck. But I beat my head against the wall at how undersexed I've been in proportion to my innate overcranked sexual appetite. If God were real and if He really created me, then I would have been getting as much tail as Robert Plant because that's how goddamn horny and lecherous He made me. But He's not real, I'm just a goddamn accident of nature.

 

Or maybe it's just frustration and regret that makes me think I'm such a horny beast. Maybe if I would've gotten my fill of it, everything right now would be perfectly mellow and serene. But it ain't. It fucking ain't.

 

Okay, back to the point.

 

Who the fuck are they to tell me I didn't miss much? The fucking nerve! They'll never understand, they'll never fucking understand. Ever!!!

 

I know at least one of you out there feels me on this. That's why I posted this here.

[Shyone]

 

Okay, back to the point.

 

Who the fuck are they to tell me I didn't miss much? The fucking nerve! They'll never understand, they'll never fucking understand. Ever!!!

 

I know at least one of you out there feels me on this. That's why I posted this here.

As an old man (relatively), I can say that whatever you get from "wild sex" or sex for the sake of sex will ultimately be unsatisfying. That may sound impossible now, but when you have found love and purpose the whole picture changes.

 

Or maybe I just didn't go to the right parties.

 

I do know that as long as an activity doesn't harm anyone (or spread disease, create jealosy, or cause physical or emotional damage), it should not be judged.

[Guest Net Eng]

As an old man (relatively), I can say that whatever you get from "wild sex" or sex for the sake of sex will ultimately be unsatisfying. That may sound impossible now, but when you have found love and purpose the whole picture changes.

 

As an relatively older person (46) I will respectfully disagree. I wouldn't want to go to quite the extreme as Vomit Comet is suggesting but I would like to have "sown my wild oats".

 

<sigh> such is hindsight....

 

 

I do know that as long as an activity doesn't harm anyone (or spread disease, create jealosy, or cause physical or emotional damage), it should not be judged.

 

Here I couldn't agree more.

[Robbobrob]

I can understand wanting the expereince, there are things you learn from those kinds of expereinces that help make you more settled and less likely to say, "I wonder if the grass is greener on the other side."

 

When I got divorced when I was 30, I purposely spent a year doing things I never had before, dated women I had never tried to date before, and did some crazy stuff I never had the nerve to try before (while trying to keep relatively safe)....and though I admit now that some of it was awful, I am glad for having taken the time to do all I wanted to, because it has made me more appreciative of what I have now (at 38).

 

so, yeah, I can fully understand VC's wish for a taste of what he beleives he missed out on. Rites of passage and testing personal boundries are things I see a lot of hardcore religious failing to appreicate for their worth to let us know who we really are, that which makes us in the end fully developed adults.

 

Can you be a fully developed adult without testing yourself and testing your boundries? Maybe on the former, but certainly not on the later.

[HRDWarrior]

Well, I completely agree with VC, perhaps to a slightly milder extent, but seeing as though I'm (happily) married and as of right now my hubby is still pretty traditional in terms of sexual stuff, looks like I'll be living with those regrets as well.

 

It's not like I ever would have wanted to have been a wild child and off screwing whatever guy came around, but there are a few in my past that I'm just pissed that I allowed my religion to hold me back. Sure, may never have been some amazing experience, but at least I would have had it.

 

Then again, without religion shunting my personality, who knows where life would have taken me. I try not to dwell on the "what if's" too much cause they just depress me - that, and there's nothing I could do about it anyways. At 31 I'm finally free from religion and able to pursue my dreams. My hubby is a great guy and I wouldn't trade all the experiences out there for what I've got, so I'll deal with it.

 

Doesn't mean I don't get mad - in fact, it's been fairly frequently lately that I get upset about past choices, but it's in the past, and the only thing I have any control over is the present, so I try to focus on that and where I want to go.

[Franko47]

You're only 31 ? Wow, you only have fifty more lucrative years of wild sex left.

 

 

It doesn't even get good until you're older anyways. Fuck the past. Start thinking about what you want in your life at this time. A nice relationship with a nice girl is better than a thousand orgies and wild parties, trust me.

[qec]

Lol VC. I have a very high sex drive like you do too man, and the only real reason I don't regret it is because regretting it just causes me emotional harm and doesn't solve anything. You could try jumping off the rock of gibraltor or something; just fucking end it all. Hehe, J/K . Anyway, yeah man I feel you, sucks doesn't it? I mean I could probably spend a good 4-6 hours everyday just fucking or making love. Probably every day for 20 years easy, with some tapering off by the time I get around 50. Lol, looks like you are "fuck crazy" bro. That's as opposed to stir crazy! hehehehee. Man... Let's just say I am with you on that one bro, bigtime in fact. Oh, I'm sure I'll eventually find the right Woman, somewhere down the line. At least that's what everyone tells me, and it's not really true.

 

But yeah, I've been told I "didn't miss much". I think it's only happened a very few times with me, but the gist is I just don't really care about what I missed and can't relate to those who tell me "you didn't miss much"; they may as well be from Planet Earth as far as I am concerned.

[OnceConvinced]

Man, I can so relate! You could almost be me doing the same rant! Exactly the same for me. Wow, that's uncanny, really! Worse for me, it took me till I was about 37 before I deconverted! So much time wasted, so many opportunities missed, so much time trying to please a non-existant God by being a good moral Christian. Since I've deconverted I've been with a few women and only now realising just what I missed. My experience was with Christian women whose idea of great sex was the missionary position and nothing else. I'm realising now just what I missed and not just sex, but also the drinking and partying. Bring more of that on I say.

 

I think it's all very well for people to say "You didn't miss much", when they've "been there, done that". So you're right, to hell with them. At least they've got to do it!

 

I love flying overseas and it pisses me off when I hear of people complaining that "Oh no, I have to fly overseas again". Oh dear, poor old them. I feel so sorry for them. WHATEVER! Yep, all very well for those who have "been there done that", but for those of us who haven't "been there done that", it's something great we've never got to do, all thanks to religion.

 

Completely know where you're coming from dude.

[lunaticheathen]

Wow, I never thought of that kind of situation. Of course, I'm a bit younger, and rejected christianity at a far younger age. I imagine that it would suck to look back on many years of not living life like that. But, I believe as far as sex goes, it's not too late. Age is just a number. Plenty of people over 30, 40, hell, 50, get their freak on all over the planet. Don't give up dude, if you're still breathing, you can still experience life. So what if it's not in the "normal" timetable, screw it, just do what you want!

[Rev. Dr. Sparki Hooker]

I'm 21, but my head is so fucked concerning actually having sex myself that I have a hard time not envisioning myself not being celibate. I didn't really miss out on much because I did the whole drinking (became a borderline alcoholic) and smoking thing when I was a teenager despite being a christian, but I can't actually convince myself to get freaky even though I've had a few opportunities to in the past. It probably stems from during middle and high school (christian school) I would beat myself up and cry myself to sleep because I was a "bad" christian for being horny and watching porn all the time even though I knew jebus didn't like it. I would always think "what have I done?" then repent and be genuinely remorseful, but then I would just do it again and again. Because I was a horny fucking teenager.

 

Nothing has really changed now, except I don't have that porn guilt anymore. I love being naked and I wouldn't wear clothes in public if I didn't have to, but the concept of me actually fucking outside of some "serious" relationship seems . . . bad?

 

Maybe it says more about how I handle guilt or trust issues, but on top of that I can't help but think that I'm being a dumbarse for passing up opportunities. I think it's more the "sex is bad" concept I developed when I was a christian though.

[Shyone]

 

Nothing has really changed now, except I don't have that porn guilt anymore. I love being naked and I wouldn't wear clothes in public if I didn't have to, but the concept of me actually fucking outside of some "serious" relationship seems . . . bad?

 

Maybe it says more about how I handle guilt or trust issues, but on top of that I can't help but think that I'm being a dumbarse for passing up opportunities. I think it's more the "sex is bad" concept I developed when I was a christian though.

I may sound like a prude here, but relationless sex or recreational sex is essentially fancy masturbation devoid of any meaning either socially or romantically.

 

When you're older, I doubt many people will look back on their youth and say, "Gee, I wish I had masturbated more."

 

Of course, I could be wrong.

[Ouroboros]

I may sound like a prude here, but relationless sex or recreational sex is essentially fancy masturbation devoid of any meaning either socially or romantically.

 

When you're older, I doubt many people will look back on their youth and say, "Gee, I wish I had masturbated more."

 

Of course, I could be wrong.

I'm sure you're right, but... someone who does not have the experience can't say the same thing. You say it from experience, but someone who never had the experience can't know it and say it. He or she can only repeat what you said and hope you're right, nothing else.

 

Picture this. A person lose his ability to walk at a young age. When he become older, he express sorrow that he never were able to walk. A person who can walks tells him, "it's just a mundane task, when you get older it's nothing but a form of transportation." I'm not sure the handicapped person is satisfied with the answer.

 

I'm in the same boat as Vomit. I had only one girlfriend before I found the woman I married. And I have felt the frustration and sorrow (yes, sorrow) that I never had the chance of at least experience what other people have. But lately, I have started to overcome it. It's no a big deal anymore because I compare it to many other things I never could do.

 

I never had a Lamborghini.

 

I was never rich and lived in a castle on my own island.

 

I didn't become a famous writer or won the Nobel prize for anything.

 

And so on. That's why it doesn't bother me anymore. It's just one thing out of many that I never did.

[Vigile]

I may sound like a prude here, but relationless sex or recreational sex is essentially fancy masturbation devoid of any meaning either socially or romantically.

 

When you're older, I doubt many people will look back on their youth and say, "Gee, I wish I had masturbated more."

 

Of course, I could be wrong.

I'm sure you're right, but... someone who does not have the experience can't say the same thing. You say it from experience, but someone who never had the experience can't know it and say it. He or she can only repeat what you said and hope you're right, nothing else.

 

Picture this. A person lose his ability to walk at a young age. When he become older, he express sorrow that he never were able to walk. A person who can walks tells him, "it's just a mundane task, when you get older it's nothing but a form of transportation." I'm not sure the handicapped person is satisfied with the answer.

 

I'm in the same boat as Vomit. I had only one girlfriend before I found the woman I married. And I have felt the frustration and sorrow (yes, sorrow) that I never had the chance of at least experience what other people have. But lately, I have started to overcome it. It's no a big deal anymore because I compare it to many other things I never could do.

 

I never had a Lamborghini.

 

I was never rich and lived in a castle on my own island.

 

I didn't become a famous writer or won the Nobel prize for anything.

 

And so on. That's why it doesn't bother me anymore. It's just one thing out of many that I never did.

 

Yeah, I can relate to all that. At the same time I've been able to do a lot of things that other people haven't been able to. I've seen more of the world than a lot of people. I've experienced other cultures in ways most people will never be able to. I've had interesting work, making up for the 9 years I worked in a grocery store hating life. From time to time I wish I could be young again, but honestly, being young and not knowing what I know now would be wasted. If I could return to 20 again but know everything I know now it would be great, but that's just a foolish fantasy so I don't let it bother me.

 

I can completely relate to VC I've been through what he's going through and still feel the pangs from time to time. If it's any help, those who tell you it was no big deal probably didn't have a lot of imagination when they were young and for them it really was no big deal.

[Shyone]

I may sound like a prude here, but relationless sex or recreational sex is essentially fancy masturbation devoid of any meaning either socially or romantically.

 

When you're older, I doubt many people will look back on their youth and say, "Gee, I wish I had masturbated more."

 

Of course, I could be wrong.

I'm sure you're right, but... someone who does not have the experience can't say the same thing. You say it from experience, but someone who never had the experience can't know it and say it. He or she can only repeat what you said and hope you're right, nothing else.

 

Picture this. A person lose his ability to walk at a young age. When he become older, he express sorrow that he never were able to walk. A person who can walks tells him, "it's just a mundane task, when you get older it's nothing but a form of transportation." I'm not sure the handicapped person is satisfied with the answer.

 

I'm in the same boat as Vomit. I had only one girlfriend before I found the woman I married. And I have felt the frustration and sorrow (yes, sorrow) that I never had the chance of at least experience what other people have. But lately, I have started to overcome it. It's no a big deal anymore because I compare it to many other things I never could do.

 

I never had a Lamborghini.

 

I was never rich and lived in a castle on my own island.

 

I didn't become a famous writer or won the Nobel prize for anything.

 

And so on. That's why it doesn't bother me anymore. It's just one thing out of many that I never did.

I had always dreamed of having a Mercedes.

 

Now that I own one, it turns out it's not that great. I thought it would be like driving an orgasm, but it's just a means of transportation.

[belladonna]

I went just to opposite; since I was convinced I was going to hell anyway (thanks to a bunch of morally superior Christians), and I figured my soul was damned, I was a player. I never got into the drinking much, and I've never even smoked a joint (my mother was so hardcore that it just turned me off of even wanting to try it). But as for the sex...well, I didn't go completely off the deep end, and I never got into orgies or three ways or anything like that, but I had my fair share of playthings. My problem was that I didn't want to be serious with anyone, and when someone would suggest such a thing, I ran. I honestly didn't think I was capable of loving anyone, nor having anyone love me.

 

Do I have regrets? Yeah...one in particular. I gave him up when I should have held on, but life is what it is, and he's now gone from this earth, so there's no getting it back.

 

The only advice I can offer, which probably isn't very much, is don't try to live in what could have been...it'll just make you miserable. Christianity fucked a lot of us up; perhaps in different ways, but we are still feeling the residual effects of it. All any of us can do is try to make the best of it and move on.

[Ouroboros]

Yeah, I can relate to all that. At the same time I've been able to do a lot of things that other people haven't been able to. I've seen more of the world than a lot of people. I've experienced other cultures in ways most people will never be able to. I've had interesting work, making up for the 9 years I worked in a grocery store hating life. From time to time I wish I could be young again, but honestly, being young and not knowing what I know now would be wasted. If I could return to 20 again but know everything I know now it would be great, but that's just a foolish fantasy so I don't let it bother me.

 

I can completely relate to VC I've been through what he's going through and still feel the pangs from time to time. If it's any help, those who tell you it was no big deal probably didn't have a lot of imagination when they were young and for them it really was no big deal.

Exactly. I've done things and experienced things that other people has not. So I try to compare these things withe things I didn't do, and it levels out. That way I can get some peace and overcome the frustration.

 

 

 

I had always dreamed of having a Mercedes.

 

Now that I own one, it turns out it's not that great. I thought it would be like driving an orgasm, but it's just a means of transportation.

Of course. And you might be right. But how could I know if I never had a Mercedes or drove one?

 

If someone told you that "driving a Mercedes is just like driving any other car, it's nothing special about it" before you got the car, would you have decided not to buy one?

 

Regardless, you bought one, and now you can claim to have the experience of knowing how it is to have one. Before your personal experience, you could only have agreed with the experience of someone else.

[godlessgrrl]

VC -

 

Whether or not you "missed much" isn't really the point anyway. The point is that regardless of the quality of a given experience, you missed the opportunity to try it for yourself and see how it was. And now you are who you are without having had the chance to really try everything you might have wanted to try, and maybe it's too late for some things by now.

 

And so what if someone else finds a particular experience mundane? Who's to say that you would, if you'd tried the same thing? Maybe you would've come to the same conclusion, but maybe you would've felt differently.

 

And maybe you still have time for some stuff. I sure didn't get started into sex and drugs in a big way until I was well into my 20's; a decade later and I just figured out I'm poly. Sometimes people just bloom late. In a way I'm glad that I didn't do all my experimenting when I was young and stupid because I probably would've done something really excessive and damaging to myself and others. Age and experience seem to make it easier to temper stupidity with moderation.

 

Anyway. I'm sort of rambling. I hear you, that's all I really wanted to say.

[seeking26]

I often feel like I might have missed something too. I married my first boyfriend and although we are happy to be married I do sometimes wonder what it might have been like to experience other people in life. I was shy and homeschooled and part of a very conservative Baptist family growing up. I never even started dating until I was 19. Now I'm 27 and he's 30, we have both left our faith behind and are just realizing how many things were sheltered from as kids. I don't really have any plans to change anything, I'm just saying it's a strange feeling.

[trashy]

Or maybe it's just frustration and regret that makes me think I'm such a horny beast. Maybe if I would've gotten my fill of it, everything right now would be perfectly mellow and serene. But it ain't. It fucking ain't.

<snip>

I know at least one of you out there feels me on this. That's why I posted this here.

 

I *totally* feel ya bro...

 

Christianity is very good about fucking up people's sex lives. It can take a normal sex drive and turn it into a roiling mess of fucked-up perversion by suppressing all 'natural' desires and attempting to funnel them into a very narrow outlet. This is why so many preachers who rail against sexual perversion turn out to be some of the biggest pervs around.

 

During my first marriage this manifested in me being a masturbating machine. I fueled my imagination with catalog pictures of underwear models and with attempting to see into neighbor's windows. I would stop in college parking lots and hope to get a glimpse of a girl in a window. It didn't matter if she was naked or in nighties, my imagination filled in all the blanks. I supplemented this with the occasional porn mag, which I then immediately threw away since it was so sinful. When we got divorced (and it had very little to do with sex) I let loose and immediately hung out in strip clubs, drinking, smoking and started doing meth. And yet I only had brief sex with two different women in that 2-year period. Then I went back to church.

 

Even though I've had two 'incidents' since then (one virtual, one real) I am happily married (19 years now), and yes she is a saint. But we've both struggled to overcome the repressive xtian mindset. The good news is that our sex life is better than ever and we've managed to leave most of the religious bullshit behind.

 

Having said all that, yes - it just might be that when you start getting good regular sex you might discover that you aren't any hornier than the average guy. But you won't know that for sure until it happens. There are choices to make. But be sure and do the right thing. If you have a relationship you don't want to lose, then do any and every thing you can *with* that person. Talk to them, tell them your frustrations. If they expect monogamy and you feel like you just *have* to experience more variety, make a clean break. No need for anyone to lie and hurt others.....

 

And that is my opinion...

[ShallowByThyGame]

Good sex with a close friend is a great addition to one's life, like good wine and good food. True, your chances of picking up a tight skinned hottie in a club are lower, but there is always time to find someone, or multiple people, to be intimate with.

 

I mean, you could go to a heavy metal concert or mardi gras and you'd probably have a great time. In reality, you are only as old as you act. Lots of girls are attracted to suave older men, and we all know about milfs. Sometimes I wish I partied more when I was younger, but regrets are lame be they for crazy times or boring times. Tomorrow is a new day.

[Hungrydingo]

I have some regrets that I didn't loosen up and enjoy myself sooner. I had 1 girlfriend during my entire time in high school. I finally rejected christian "values" at age 16 but it was still tough to let go and indulge in the sinful things in life. That nagging conscience that I would disappoint my parents was still there, and I still felt insecure about myself. I feel like I missed out on my high school experience, but I definitely had a lot of fun in college when I let go and did whatever I felt like. I wouldn't say I regret it though, I think I'm much stronger emotionally and mentally. It feels good to be liberated, that I am lucky I am no longer a slave to such a repressive ideology.

[Moving on]

I hear out what you are saying. I have often sat and lamented many lost years...and money...over my years as a devout, fundamentalist Christian.

 

But, something occurred to me within the last year that has helped me see things differently. Most fundie Christians that I know will never, ever come to see the light. They will be wasting their ENTIRE lives on something that is not true and that is not real. I am one of the lucky ones. Most people that warped into the religion ever get freed from it, but I did. In that sense, I feel extremely fortunate.

 

And in terms of sex, I'm assuming you aren't married or in a relationship, so if you are, this wouldn't apply...but, there are places you can go for random sex if that is what you are wanting to experience for a while. And, I guess I'll just get into something a bit personal for your benefit. I belong to a website that is just for hooking up with people in your area for a no strings attached sexual relationship. People are right, it's not as great as having sex within a loving relationship...but, if you don't have a loving relationship right now, this can be a good thing, too. I have a guy that knows of my conservative past, and our relationship is pretty much just about sex with a little bit of a friendship. He's been helping me learn a lot of new things that I haven't had the chance to learn since I was a virgin until I was around 30. It's very respectful and it has been a big help to me. Maybe you can find some situation like that.

[Reason]

With 'ya on this, dude! Allow me to elaborate...

 

 

 

"Sometimes I get a little buzzed, and I start bitching about my life".

 

Would like to do the first part. Do the second part all the time.

 

 

 

I wasted my fucking teens and twenties on that shit. I didn't try drugs, I never got to fuck any babes until I was 22, right before I got married. I became an agnostic over a year ago. I'm 42 now. I've only fucked two women. One was the obvious. The other from an affair that caused me enourmous guilt. I never went to crazy parties. I never had any real adventures. I have no tales to tell; only crappy "feel good" religious ones. (From your quote. But, I tweaked it to reflect my expriences. They're practically identical, other than the age and one other thing).

 

 

 

 

"And then they tell me "you didn't miss much." Or "you're lucky you didn't experience all the drama that went with it."

 

I wish there were a Hell. I'd like to send every person there that has told me this over the years!

 

 

 

"And I get even more pissed off. I don't give a shit about drugs, but I would give anything to go back and get twenty or fifty different fucks under my belt. There are several times where "I shoulda fucked her when I had the chance", and it fucking hurts. I feel like I'll never get over all those missed opportunities. I'd do anything to go back and get a redo."

 

Touche, bro! Although, you're the man on this one. I was a dork, doofus and loser. Never had the shot at the ladies. But, alas, had I been "normal", I might have been. There may have been 1 or 2 that I missed, though.

 

 

 

 

 

"I wish that today I could be doing group sex and orgies and threesomes and all that other fun stuff, but in my current situation that's not going to happen, and at times it torments me. And my girl-getting skills are so stunted and underdeveloped thanks in large part to years of Christ-based self-stifling, I wouldn't be able to feed my own rampaging sexual desires were I presently at liberty to do so. Sometimes I wish somebody would just chop my balls off. I don't give a fuck that I never got to do cocaine when I was 17 or whatever, I simply don't give a fuck. But I beat my head against the wall at how undersexed I've been in proportion to my innate overcranked sexual appetite. If God were real and if He really created me, then I would have been getting as much tail as Robert Plant because that's how goddamn horny and lecherous He made me. But He's not real, I'm just a goddamn accident of nature.

 

Or maybe it's just frustration and regret that makes me think I'm such a horny beast. Maybe if I would've gotten my fill of it, everything right now would be perfectly mellow and serene. But it ain't. It fucking ain't."

 

 

I could've written that part. Bravo!!

 

 

 

"Who the fuck are they to tell me I didn't miss much? The fucking nerve! They'll never understand, they'll never fucking understand. Ever!!!

 

 

Soooooo phuckin true!

 

 

 

 

"I know at least one of you out there feels me on this. That's why I posted this here".

 

Yea, that would be me.

 

 

 

 

The only thing I think would be worth adding is don't be too hard on yourself. You have much more intelligence than I did. I'm 42. I wasted much more time on this crap than you did. You're just hitting the prime of life. Enjoy your life! You still have your health and, I assume, a decent income. Travel and taste the richness of life. It could be worse. You could be broke, lifeless, health crashing, no insurance. With kids who don't respecet you. A passionless marriage to your "Christian sweetheart from church". Stuck in the Biblebelt with everyone smiling fake smiles all the time and stabbing each other in the back. A house with a roof caving in, etc. etc. etc.

 

Yeah, trust me on this, dude. It could be worse.

[seeking26]

I often feel like I might have missed something too. I married my first boyfriend and although we are happy to be married I do sometimes wonder what it might have been like to experience other people in life. I was shy and homeschooled and part of a very conservative Baptist family growing up. I never even started dating until I was 19. Now I'm 27 and he's 30, we have both left our faith behind and are just realizing how many things were sheltered from as kids. I don't really have any plans to change anything, I'm just saying it's a strange feeling.

 

 

Seeking, as I said earlier on another string...YOU do not have to do anything you do not want to do. If you are curious, there are plenty of places to read and people to interact with. Be careful and approach the subject with care you do not want to ruin any relationships you care about.

 

Oh no, I don't actually WANT to seek out any other relationships now. My husband and I have mentioned the idea of an open marriage in the past but decided that we were both too jealous for it to ever work out well. Not only that, I am really happy with the man I married. I'll take everyone's word for it that I didn't miss much. My occasional wondering is more of a curiosity thing than anything else. I don't really have he time for relationships other than my immediate family anyway with four kids at home and taking classes full time so it wouldn't be a very realistic possibility even if I did want it and could do so without putting my marriage at risk. Thanks though for the reminder about doing things that I want to do. I am still somewhat tied to christian morality in my mind. I have been told my whole life that doing what I want is selfish, that I need to do god's will or to put others ahead of myself before I can consider doing what I want. It has been hard to learn to even think about doing what I want when I still have that mindset. In this case, after thinking it through, I want exactly what I already have.

[Rev. Dr. Sparki Hooker]

I belong to a website that is just for hooking up with people in your area for a no strings attached sexual relationship.

 

Mind sharing the name of this website?