Amethyst Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 I had originally volunteered to update the website for the UCC church I went to. They keep sending me updates. They sent me one today and I had to tell them nicely, I'm sorry, but I won't have time to do it this weekend and I'm not sure when I will. I don't want to burn my bridges with them, but at the same time, I don't want them to keep sending me updates. Anyone have any suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_funkenstein Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 I had originally volunteered to update the website for the UCC church I went to. They keep sending me updates. They sent me one today and I had to tell them nicely, I'm sorry, but I won't have time to do it this weekend and I'm not sure when I will. I don't want to burn my bridges with them, but at the same time, I don't want them to keep sending me updates. Anyone have any suggestions? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I don't know your history Amethyst but let me ask the obvious. Why can't you just tell them that you're not a Christian anymore and they'll have to find someone else to do it? EDIT: Phrased another way - why don't you want to burn your bridges with them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted September 2, 2005 Author Share Posted September 2, 2005 why don't you want to burn your bridges with them? Because you never know where you might run into these people again. I might end up getting another job and working at the same company with them down the road. You just never know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_funkenstein Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 Because you never know where you might run into these people again. I might end up getting another job and working at the same company with them down the road. You just never know. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'm confused. Are you saying that you'd rather string these people along on the off chance that you get a job with a web design company in the future that your old church hires to do work for? Dude, what are you worried about? That they're gonna know you're an apostate? Let's say you do run into these church people down the track in a commercial capacity. So? I don't get it. Explain it to me like I'm a 5-year old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted September 2, 2005 Author Share Posted September 2, 2005 I just don't want there to be any animosity. Plus, if I use that volunteer position to get a web development job in the future, I may have to include them as a reference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_funkenstein Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 I just don't want there to be any animosity. Plus, if I use that volunteer position to get a web development job in the future, I may have to include them as a reference. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I think you need to be honest with them. If there's animosity it won't come from your side so you can't claim responsibility. You believe what you believe and if they have a problem with that it's their problem. As far as using them as a reference, if it were me I'd look at it this way. If they're cool - then great, I'll use them as a reference. If they get shitty, then it's a loss that I could probably get over by doing volunteer work for someone else and moreover is far outweighed by how much I'd resent working on a christian website. Dude if all you're worried about is using them as a reference - sometimes breaking free from the church costs us, mate. You have to cop it on the chin. I'm sure you'd be able to find another business that would love you to volunteer to design their website. Hell, find a struggling local band or something - there's heaps of people who'd jump at the opportunity. Keep your options open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted September 2, 2005 Author Share Posted September 2, 2005 If they bug me about the website again, I'll think about it. There is a guy who said my skillset is one he needs when he gets busy. He runs a business out of his basement and knows one of my stepmom's friends. He'd be willing to pay me. I've got his e-mail addy and actually e-mailed him recently when my company started laying off people, so maybe something will come of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spamandham Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 I would think the UCC would be understanding of someone just flat saying "I've moved on in my beliefs". If not, then just make up some BS why you're "too busy". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dead_hobbit Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 Send them a kind email informing them that things happening in your life are draining your time and you won't be able to help them anymore. Keep helping them for like a month, so they have a little time to find someone else, but after that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panther Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 Well...being that this involves making a living, I think your answer was appropriate. You have been getting advice to be honest.....that's ok...if you want. But I have the opinion that honesty is great when it applies....meaning you are certainly not obligated to tell anyone anything. I think your reply was good. Just to say that you are busy or tied up right now and will get back to them later. This situation doesn't seem to be about you personally, but rather your job. That is certainly understandable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kryten Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 I think the mindset of MOST Christians in this country is that they would rather do business with a stranger than with someone who was one of them but then left. If you've been one of them, thought like they do, done what they do, said what they say, and been on the inside, to then reject them is a huge insult and blow to their belief system. You basically have declared yourself as their enemy. Any friendships based on similar beliefs would be severely strained. I understand the reluctance to admit to them you have rejected their beliefs. If you never want to see them again, then fine. Otherwise, be careful of saying what you cannot unsay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted September 2, 2005 Author Share Posted September 2, 2005 This situation doesn't seem to be about you personally, but rather your job. Well, it is a volunteer job. I have a day job as well working for a large manufacturing corporation. I do engineering project support. (Basically, I use Excel all day.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted September 7, 2005 Author Share Posted September 7, 2005 Interestingly enough, I just got an e-mail from the transitional pastor (the one I knew retired), so it was a good opportunity for me to tell her that I just didn't have time for it anymore. I did say that I would do it if they couldn't find another volunteer right away, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts