God and Satan

[Guest Thegoodbook]

There once was a man named George Thomas, pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit. Eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak..."I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright. I stopped the lad and asked, "What you got there, son?! " "Just some old birds," came the reply.

 

"What are you gonna do with them?" I asked.

 

"Take 'em home and have fun with 'em," he answered. "I'm gonna tease 'em and pull out their feathers to make 'em fight. I'm gonna have a real good time" "But you'll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do?"

 

"Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy. "They like birds. I'll take 'em to them."

 

The pastor was silent for a moment. "How much do you want for those birds, son?"

 

"Huh?? !!! Why, you don't want them birds, mister. They're just plain old field birds. They don't sing. They ain't even pretty!"

 

"How much?" the pastor asked again.

 

The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, "$10?"

 

The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy's hand. In a flash, the boy was gone.

 

The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free.

 

Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story.

 

One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"

 

"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.

 

Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!"

 

"And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked. "Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly. "How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked

 

"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you. You don't want those people!!"

 

"How much?" He asked again.

 

Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your blood, tears and your life."

 

Jesus said, "DONE!"

 

Then He paid the price.

 

The pastor picked up the cage he opened the door and he walked from the pulpit.

 

Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.

 

Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).

[Ouroboros]

And then God went into Satan’s house and took Jesus blood, tears and life back, so now Satan got the people back. That explains all the evil. The price was paid, but God stole the payment back, and the merchandise is not paid anymore...

 

Moral from the story: a pretty story, doesn't make it true...

 

**edit**

 

Yes, it is funny, that people that claim they follow the good book and hear Gods voice, still do evil things... you would expect they could do good things when God has made their heart pure and loving.

[Pariah]

Blah blah blah. This kind of emotionalist trash copied from junk emails isn't convincing anyone.

[crazy-tiger]

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This is "debate with christians" not "preach at the ex-christians" forum...

 

 

Are you here to debate, or are you here to preach? If it's debate, then debate; if it's preach, then you're gonna get burnt...

[crazy-tiger]

Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Isn't it...?

 

 

 

By the way, did you decide which set of commandments you were going to preach about?

 

 

 

:edit: Dammit... I'm starting to get the stunned pigeons mixed up now.

 

Well, they all sound the same after a while...

[Ouroboros]

Yeah, it's the little pretty preacher that's coming into town. Let's give him the tar-n'-feathers, and put him on a donkey, riding out'a town!

[duderonomy]

I'd like to ask TheGoodBook why-- if the Devil is the bad guy, and God is the good guy-- is it so that it was the Devil that told the truth to Adam and Eve in the Garden? Why is it that God, all through the Bible is the one doing the stealing, killing, and destroying?

 

Please enlighten me, if you'd be so kind.

[crazy-tiger]

I'd like to ask TheGoodBook why-- if the Devil is the bad guy, and God is the good guy-- is it so that it was the Devil that told the truth to Adam and Eve in the Garden? Why is it that God, all through the Bible is the one doing the stealing, killing, and destroying?

 

Please enlighten me, if you'd be so kind.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Bcoz God is teh gud... teh bybl sez so!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, that hurt my fingers to type...

[Asimov]

Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.

 

Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).

 

This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

 

Isn't it funny how you think people are retards, and then they prove it to you by posting what you just posted?

 

Isn't it funny how someone can speak words, yet still be retarded?

[Eponymic]

Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.

 

Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).

 

Isn't it funny how you trash people and then wonder why the world's going to hell?

 

Isn't if funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but have no real idea of what they're following and yet still preach, judge, and condescend to people who have more knowledge than them.

[Fweethawt]

Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.

 

Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).

 

Isn't it funny how you can drop by and paste a stupid e-mail message that has been circulating around the internet since the beginning of time and not realize that if it weren't such a piece of crap that it would have had a positive effect on the millions of people who have read it already?

 

Isn't it funny how a Christian message can never be straight forward and direct without having to resort to fables and storytelling in order to get its point across?

 

Isn't it funny how Christian messages are always written in such a way as to get an emotional reaction out of its hearers instead of a physical one?

 

Isn't it funny how you're such a dork?

[Ouroboros]

Isn't it funny that this guy probably never will answer our comments?

 

And isn't it funny, that every darn Christian that comes to this site, expects us to be novices and totally ignorant of their arguments from get go?

 

Isn't it also funny they don't get that most of us used to be Christians, so the usual "get saved or go to hell" rhetoric maybe won't work on us?

 

What is really so funny about that Christ-like and holy people commit crimes and kill people? It’s not funny at all, but sad and rather provides the point that God doesn’t change any mans heart, but rotten people are still rotten regardless of their faith, and hence prove that God doesn’t exist.

[Ouroboros]

Here’s a little story from me:

 

A man was in a cage.

 

One day he discovered that he was in a cage and the door was unlocked.

 

So he opened the door, and left the cage. He felt happy and liberated, and could move freely.

 

The cage was called Christianity.

 

To leave the cage is to de-convert, leave the fold, and become an apostate.

 

Free your mind and get a life!

 

The End!

[spamandham]

Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash God

 

Yes! It's hysterical! Let's do it again, I just can't get enough.

 

Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in God"

 

Yes again!

 

It's almost the stupidest thing anyone could say. I'm busting a gut just thinking about it!

[Checkmate]

There once was a poster named Thegoodbook. He posted foolish threads on an EX-Christian forum. First he tried to impress more knowledgeable people with his faulty bible skills. Next he tried to intimidate and terrorize unbelievers with his silly doctrine. And finally, when all else failed, he attempts a sappy preacher's trick by using an emotional story.

 

And each time he posted, he hid in the background, watching and reading to see how many hornets he's stirred up. You see, he was torn. On the one hand he did want someone to believe his lies and "come to Christ". (But he KNEW that wasn't going to happen.) But on the other hand, he was having too much fun baiting the heathens. Smugly satisfied that they would burn in hell for rejecting his "god" and his goodness, he continues to watch, and smile. So proud of himself for being a "soldier in Christ's army". Surely his crown will be great and shiney. For great has been his "persecution".

 

Isn't it funny that Christians, who are incapable of articulating their faith and defending said faith, will inevitably resort to name-calling and empty tales of emotionalism?

 

Isn't it funny that Christians don't believe that "God's word" is ENOUGH to do the job of conversion? And that they ALWAYS rely on human conventions and so-called creativity?

 

So much for God's word never returning to him void, huh?

[Fweethawt]

Isn't this funny? -----> CLICK HERE

 

[Checkmate]

Isn't this funny? ----->   CLICK HERE

 

Click WHERE, Fwee? Nothing is happening.

 

 

 

Or...is THAT the point?

[Fweethawt]

Or...is THAT the point? 

Yes -- it is.

 

 

[thomas]

There once was a man named George Thomas,...............

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Thegoodbook

 

It is obvious that you are not familiar with the different theories of atonement. Allow me to bring you a little englightment on this subject by quoting an article:

 

Christus Victor, the predominant image of the early church, existed in two forms, each of which involved the three elements of God, the devil or Satan, and sinful humankind. In the ransom version of Christus Victor, the devil held the souls of humankind captive. In a seemingly contractual agreement, God handed Jesus over to Satan as a ransom payment to secure the release of captive souls. The devil killed Jesus, in an apparent victory for the forces of evil. The devil is deceived, however. In raising Jesus from the dead, God triumphed over the devil, and the souls of humanity were freed from his clutches. This victory through resurrection provides the name Christus Victor or Christ the Victor.

 

A second version of Christus Victor pictured the conflict between Satan and God as a cosmic battle. In this struggle, God's son was killed, but the resurrection then constituted the victory of God over the forces of evil, and definitively identified God as the ruler of the universe. This cosmic battle imagery constitutes another Christus Victor atonement image.

 

Satisfaction atonement has been the predominant atonement image of the present time as well as for much of the past millennium. It suffices for present purposes to sketch two versions of satisfaction atonement. One reflects the view of Anselm of Canterbury. In 1098 he published Cur Deus Homo, which constitutes the first full articulation of satisfaction atonement. Anselm wrote that Jesus' death was necessary in order to satisfy the offended honor of God. Human sin had offended God's honor and thus had upset divine order in the universe. The death of Jesus as the God-man was then necessary in order to satisfy God's honor and restore the order of the universe.

 

A change in this image of satisfaction occurred with the Protestant Reformers. For them, Jesus' death satisfied the divine law's requirement that sin be punished. Thus with his death, Jesus submitted to and bore the punishment that was really due to us -- humankind -- as sinners. Jesus was punished in our place. Jesus substituted himself for us, and died a penal substitutionary death.

 

The third atonement image is moral influence. In this image, the death of Jesus is a loving act of God aimed toward us. God the Father shows love to us sinners by giving us his most precious possession, his Son, to die for us.

 

Deleting the Devil from Atonement

 

These theories did not develop as isolated entities. Each emerged as a response to a previous one. In the first book of Cur Deus Homo, Anselm specifically rejected the idea that Jesus' death was a ransom payment to the devil. Satan has no contractual rights that would obligate God to make such a payment. And even though humankind deserves punishment, Satan has no right to inflict that punishment. These considerations make it unworthy of God to deal with Satan via a ransom. Thus Anselm deleted the devil from the salvation equation. [2] Rather than seeing human beings as captive to the devil, Anselm made them directly responsible to God. Humans sinned against God; sin offended the honor of God, and thus threatened order in the universe. The death of Jesus served to restore God's honor and thus restore order in the universe.

 

Abelard's school followed Anselm in rejecting the idea of Jesus' death as a ransom payment to the devil. But Abelard also rejected the idea of Jesus' death as a payment to God. It made God seem vengeful and judgmental. Instead, Abelard saw the death of Jesus aimed not at God but at sinful humankind. It was a loving act of God designed to get the attention of sinners, and reveal the love of God for sinners while they were yet sinners. Its impact on the psychological or moral character of humankind identifies this view as the moral influence theory of atonement.

 

Thus historical relationships exist among these atonement theories. Anselm's satisfaction motif succeeded ransom, and was subsequently modified by majority Protestantism. Abelard's moral theory posed an alternative to Anselm's satisfaction theory while retaining Anselm's critique of the ransom motif.

 

Each of these images attempts to explain why "Jesus died for us." But recalling the object or "target" of the death of Jesus makes clear that these images suggest entirely different approaches to understanding the death of Jesus. For ransom and cosmic battle motifs the death of Jesus has the devil as its object. For Anselm, it is aimed at God's honor, while for penal substitution, the object is God's law. Finally, for moral influence, the death of Jesus targets "us," sinful humankind, as its objects.

 

(from Cross Currents: Violence in Christian Theology - Critical Essay)

[Guest Dragonblade]

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One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he said, "I opened your pet's eyes so they could decided for themselves if they want to follow you. When they see what an egomanical puppeteer your father is, I'm willing to bet they leave you like me and my followers did in Heaven."

 

"What are you going to do with them if they follow you?" Jesus asked.

 

Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna teach them they don't have to have God in their lives to have a good marriage or raise their children, just use good common sense. That if they act like God and let petty jealousy rule them they will only hurt each other and get divorced. To cut their kids some slack if they sometimes act disrespectful instead of stoning them. How to drink and smoke and curse, because being human they are flawed and sometimes just need to let their hair down and get it out of their system. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill those who threaten them and their loved ones. I've got my work cut out for me cleaning up this big mess your father started, Jesus."

 

"How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked.

 

Satan answers, "You'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you, because we all know that's what you want to happen anyway. You just want to blame these new creatures for your addiction to toture."

 

"How much?" Jesus asked again.

 

Satan looked at him and said, "You have a choice, Son of Man, all you have to do is bow down before me and I'll gladly give them back to you. Or you can go through with your original plan, come into the world and get a great write up and be followed by millions of mindless sheep, and burn those who think for themselves."

 

Jesus said, "My ego won't allow me to go with the first option, and come to think of it, my ego really likes the second one."

 

Then He paid the price and had enough change to get a Happy Meal on the way home.

 

 

[Ouroboros]

Thegoodbook

 

It is obvious that you are not familiar with the different theories of atonement. Allow me to bring you a little englightment on this subject by quoting an article:

Thanks Thomas. Great essay.

 

In other words, no one knows why Jesus died, or how it supposedly saves anyone from Hell. All is moot and void words. Nothing really means anything in Christianity, it's just mythologies.

[SkepticOfBible]

"How much?" He asked again.

 

Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your blood, tears and your life."

 

Jesus said, "DONE!"

 

Then He paid the price.

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

So is Jesus dead?Can a everlasting God actually experiance death?

 

The following paragraph are from this page

 

The sacrifice of Jesus was no sacrifice at all, for a number of reasons. First, according to the New Testament, Jesus Christ was God Himself. What possible inconvenience could death represent for an immortal god? None whatsoever. Would not God have an infinite capacity for enduring physical pain? Was crucifixion the worst possible way to be put to death? I submit that it was not. It is my opinion that burning to death by a slow roast would have been far more painful. The Church should know all about burning people to death, by the way, they did it enough. Their devices of torture were state of the art. Christ's suffering was negligible compared to those who disagreed with His Church. Additionally, Christ supposedly came back three days later. So just what was sacrificed? It's not a sacrifice if you take it back. And yet, the Christians claim Jesus made the most ultimate and perfect sacrifice. Is there anything more absurd than this?

 

Here are some other interesting article

 

Lamb Sacrifice

 

New Saviour

[mrtruth]

I REALLY hate those "isn't it funny?" spam emails.....a couple of years ago, when I was still a believer, I even hated them then. Stupid, guilt-inducing, pieces of crap....

 

 

 

I did enjoy the 'isn't it funny' responses y'all made back though....

[JeffXL]

Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).

 

Actually, in Christian mythology, Satan doesn't "believe" in God, he has spoken with him. In the book o' Job, ha-satan (he doesn't have a proper name yet) makes Job suffer horribly-- all for God's sick entertainment.