The Praise The Gods Thread 2.0

[Tabula Rasa]

Rather than dig up the original thread, I thought I'd do another.(For all the new folks who've joined in the last six months or so, and for the longtimers who want to have another go.)

 

In my opinion, praising the Abrahamic god's competition is better than just plain blasphemy.

 

With that in mind let's praise the gods, no matter if they belong to another belief system, or from pop culture, or make some up.(Pagans are also encouraged to praise their deities.)

 

I'll start.

 

Hail Spinderella! Great goddess of club DJs!!

[lunaticheathen]

Hail and love to you Erzulie Dantor! I sharpen my blade to defend against abuse and injustice, raise your basin in battle for blood, and always offer the weary comfort and rum. Remember your children, and keep our city from further harm from hurricanes and insulting and abusive governments.

[Thurisaz]

I feel like getting "scriptural" for a moment :

 

"Hail, day! | Hail, sons of day!

And night and her daughter now!

Look on us here | with loving eyes,

That waiting we victory win.

Hail to the gods! | Ye goddesses, hail,

And all the generous earth!

Give to us wisdom | and goodly speech,

And healing hands, life-long."

 

(Poetic Edda, H. A. Bellows translation, Sigdrifumal, Stanzas 2 and 3)

 

[ContraBardus]

Praise Crom!

 

 

He is strong! If I die, I have to go before him, and he will ask me, 'What is the riddle of steel?' If I don't know it, he will cast me out of Valhalla and laugh at me. That's Crom, strong on his mountain!

[Cracked]

I bow to my personal penis God. I just can't seem to reach him.

[par4dcourse]

Heil, Gunslinger

[sciencemike]

For those who are fans of The Elder Scrolls series of computer games, I shall now replace terms like "Holy Cow" with "By the Nine Divine!"

 

As such, I will now proclaim my devotion to the Nine.

 

Praise Akatosh, the God of Time.

Praise Arkay, the God of burials and seasonal festivities.

Praise Dibella, the Goddess of erotic love.

Praise Julianos, the God of literature and law.

Praise Kynareth, the Goddess of the heavens and wind.

Praise Mara, the Goddess of love and fertility.

Praise Stendarr, the God of compassion and mercy.

Praise Talos, the man-God who united all of Tamriel in the Third Era.

Praise Zenithar, the God of merchants.

 

Of course, the Nine are not nearly as interesting as the Daedra, so I shall be equally heretical and proclaim my devotion to them as well.

 

Praise Azura, the Queen of Dusk and Dawn.

Praise Boethiah, the prince of deception and deceit.

Praise Clavicus Vile, prince of power and maker of the masque fit for a God.

Praise Hermaeus Mora, the prince of forbidden knowledge of Apocrypha.

Praise Hircine, the prince of deadly hunts.

Praise Malacath, the prince of revenge.

Praise Mehrunes Dagon, the prince of destruction of man and mer.

Praise Mephala, princess of plots, lies, sex, and murder.

Praise Meridia, princess of all living things.

Praise Molag Bal, the prince of unnatural enslavement.

Praise Namira, princess of shadowy spirits.

Praise Nocturnal, prince of darkness.

Praise Peryite, prince of Order.

Praise Sanguine, prince of debauchery and passionate indulgence.

Praise Sheogorath, prince of the mad and insane.

[Midnight-mindwanderings]

I'll go Wiccan on ya'll and post the Charge of the Goddess:

by Doreen Valiente

 

Listen to the words of the Great Mother;

she who of old was also called among men

Artemis, Astarte, Athene, Dione, Melusine,

Aphrodite, Cerridwen, Cybele, Arianrhod,

Isis, Dana, Bride

and by many other names:

 

Whenever ye have need of anything,

once in the month, and better it be when the moon is full,

then shall ye assemble in some secret place

and adore the spirit of me,

who am Queen of all the witches.

 

There shall ye assemble,

ye who are fain to learn all sorcery,

yet have not won its deepest secrets;

to these will I teach things that are yet unknown.

And ye shall be free from slavery;

and as a sign that ye be really free,

ye shall be naked in your rites;

and ye shall dance, sing, feast,

make music and love,

all in my praise.

For mine is the ecstasy of the spirit,

and mine also is joy on earth;

for my law is love unto all beings.

Keep pure your highest ideal;

strive ever towards it;

let naught stop you or turn you aside.

For mine is the secret door

which opens upon the Land of Youth,

and mine is the cup of the wine of life,

and the Cauldron of Cerridwen,

which is the Holy Grail of immortality.

 

I am the Gracious Goddess,

who gives the gift of joy unto the heart of man.

Upon earth, I give the knowledge of the spirit eternal;

and beyond death, I give peace and freedom

and reunion with those who have gone before.

Nor do I demand aught in sacrifice;

for behold,

I am the Mother of all living,

and my love is poured out upon the earth.

 

Hear ye the words of the Star Goddess;

she in the dust of whose feet are the hosts of heaven,

and whose body encircles the Universe.

I who am the beauty of the green earth,

and the white Moon among the stars,

and the mystery of the waters,

and the desire of the heart of man,

call unto thy soul.

Arise, and come unto me.

For I am the soul of nature, who gives life to the universe.

From me all things proceed,

and unto me all things must return;

and before my face, beloved of Gods and of men,

let thine innermost divine self be enfolded in the rapture of the infinite.

Let my worship be within the heart that rejoiceth;

for behold,

all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals.

And therefore let there be beauty and strength,

power and compassion, honour and humility,

mirth and reverence within you.

 

And thou who thinkest to seek for me,

know thy seeking and yearning shall avail thee not

unless thou knowest the mystery;

that if that which thou seekest

thee findest not within thee,

thou wilt never find it without thee.

For behold,

I have been with thee from the beginning;

and I am that which is attained

at the end of desire.

 

Blessed Be

[lunaticheathen]

Heil, Gunslinger

*squeeee!*

Praise Gan and Beam says THANKYA!

[Dagaz]

Hail Khorne!

 

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

 

/Warhammer 40k nerdage

[Hungrydingo]

It is by the noodly appendage of the Flying Spaghetti Monster we are saved.

 

Our pasta, who art in a colander,

draining be your noodles.

Thy noodle come,

Thy sauce be yum,

on top some grated Parmesan.

Give us this day our garlic bread,

and forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trample on our lawns.

And lead us not into vegetarianism,

but deliver us some pizza,

for thine is the meatball, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever.

[MultifariousBirdLady]

This thread is awesome!

 

 

 

Κλῦθί μου, Ἑρμεία, Διὸς ἄγγελε, Μαιάδος υἱέ,

παγκρατὲς ἦτορ ἔχων, ἐναγώνιε, κοίρανε θνητῶν,

εὔφρων, ποικιλόβουλε, διάκτορε ἀργειφόντα,

πτηνοπἐδιλε, φίλανδρε, λόγου θνητοῖσι προφῆτα,

γυμνάσιν ὃς χαίρεις δολίαις τ΄ ἀπάταις, τροφιοῦχε,

ἑρμηνεῦ πἀντων, κερδέμπορε, λυσιμέριμνε,

ὃς χείρεσσιν ἔχεις εἰρήνης ὅπλον ἀμεμφές,

Κωρυκιῶτα, μάκαρ, ἐριούνιε, ποικιλόμυθε,

ἐργασίαις ἐπαρωγέ, φίλε θνητοῖς ἐν ἀνάγκαις,

γλώσσης δεινόν ὅπλον τὸ σεβάσμιον ἀνθρώποισι·

κλῦθι μου εὐχομένου, βιότου τέλος ἐσθλὸν ὀπάζων

ἐργασίαισι, λόγου χάρισιν καὶ μνημοσύνηισιν.

 

 

Hear me, Hermes, messenger of Zeus, son of Maia;

almighty is your heart, O lord of the deceased and judge of contests;

gentle and clever, O Argeiphontes, you are a guide

whose sandals fly, and a man-loving prophet to mortals.

You are vigorous and you delight in exercise and in deceit;

interpreter of all, you are a profiteer who frees us of cares

and who holds in his hands the blameless tool of peace.

Lord of Korykos, blessed, helpful and skilled in words,

you assist in work, you are a friend of mortals in need,

and you wield the dreaded and respected weapon of speech.

Hear my prayer and grant a good end to a life

of industry, gracious talk, and mindfulness.

 

(Orphic Hymn to Hermes)

[Guest]

For those who are fans of The Elder Scrolls series of computer games, I shall now replace terms like "Holy Cow" with "By the Nine Divine!"

 

As such, I will now proclaim my devotion to the Nine.

 

Praise Akatosh, the God of Time.

Praise Arkay, the God of burials and seasonal festivities.

Praise Dibella, the Goddess of erotic love.

Praise Julianos, the God of literature and law.

Praise Kynareth, the Goddess of the heavens and wind.

Praise Mara, the Goddess of love and fertility.

Praise Stendarr, the God of compassion and mercy.

Praise Talos, the man-God who united all of Tamriel in the Third Era.

Praise Zenithar, the God of merchants.

 

Of course, the Nine are not nearly as interesting as the Daedra, so I shall be equally heretical and proclaim my devotion to them as well.

 

Praise Azura, the Queen of Dusk and Dawn.

Praise Boethiah, the prince of deception and deceit.

Praise Clavicus Vile, prince of power and maker of the masque fit for a God.

Praise Hermaeus Mora, the prince of forbidden knowledge of Apocrypha.

Praise Hircine, the prince of deadly hunts.

Praise Malacath, the prince of revenge.

Praise Mehrunes Dagon, the prince of destruction of man and mer.

Praise Mephala, princess of plots, lies, sex, and murder.

Praise Meridia, princess of all living things.

Praise Molag Bal, the prince of unnatural enslavement.

Praise Namira, princess of shadowy spirits.

Praise Nocturnal, prince of darkness.

Praise Peryite, prince of Order.

Praise Sanguine, prince of debauchery and passionate indulgence.

Praise Sheogorath, prince of the mad and insane.

 

 

I'm addicted to Oblivion!

 

Right now, my Dunmer, Lady Perilin, The Hero of Kvatch, is climbing the ranks of the Fighters Guild.

 

You forgot to mention the Night Mother/Unholy Matron - the spiritual leader of the Dark Brotherhood!

[Guest]

Also, I love it when you come across the two atheists in Cyrodiil. They bitch about the gods and the people who follow them. It's hilarious!

[Franko47]

For those who are fans of The Elder Scrolls series of computer games

 

 

At least in that world, the "magic" actually works !

[Outlaw393]

I shall raise some praise to my Gods, and I will include one of my favorite prayers to them:

 

By the name of Urd, I seek the spinning thread of my true path.

By the name of Verdandi, I weave my life with the threads of those I love.

By the name of Skuld, I make peace with the blade of my final wyrd.

In the name of Odin, the All-Father, One-Eyed Master of Runes, may I be opened to ecstasy and inspiration.

In the name of Frigga, Mistress of Fensalir, spinner of clouds, may my home be a frithstead where all are welcome.

In the name of Thor, Lord of Thunder, Master of the Winds of the Western World, may my strength never fail me.

In the name of Sif, Lady Gold-Tressed, may I take pride in my own skill.

In the name of Heimdall, Guardian of the Rainbow Bridge, may I be able to defend my own boundaries.

In the name of Tyr, Lord of Swords, may I walk with true honor in the world.

In the name of Balder, Bright One who must fall, may I learn to offer sacrifice with grace.

In the name of Nanna, Bright One's Shadow, may I learn loyalty in love.

In the name of Iduna, Giver of Immortality, may I have health and purity of body.

In the name of Bragi, Skald of Asgard, may words of beauty fall from my tongue.

In the name of Saga, Keeper of Stories, may my heart ring with the tales of the ancestors.

In the name of Ullr, Bow-Strong and Arrow-Sharp, may all that I seek be shown to me.

In the name of Skadi, Lady of Ice and Snow, may I be focused and true of purpose.

In the name of Vili, Master of the Will, may my determination know no bounds.

In the name of Ve, Master of Hidden Power, may I come to see beyond my senses.

In the name of Forseti, Asgard's Judge, may I be a lover of justice.

In the name of Vidar, Lord of Battle-Rage, may my courage never falter.

In the name of Hermod, Traveler on Hel's Road, may I never fear to walk in darkness.

In the name of Mimir, Master of the Dark Well, may I be wise in the ways of the deep places.

In the name of Hoenir, may I know when to remain silent.

Hail to you, Odin, you who wear so many masks.

Seeker, I seek you. Hear my prayer.

 

Hail the Gods!