My testimony

[Guest I like pie]

Well, here's my testimony. I consider myself an ex-christian because I'm not a believer any more but I don't know if I would be really considered one as I still go to church. I'm a 15 year old guy and haven't been able to break away yet. I just thought I needed to get this off my chest as it's really been troubling me.

 

My parents always used to be the sort who were never particularly big on religion. They would have described themselves as christian on a census and went to weddings, funerals, ect in churches but that was as far as it went. When I was about 7 years old my parents started to go to a really extreme baptist church. It didn't take long for my parents to be completely sold to the church and ever since they've been strict baptist christians. At my age then I didn't really understand what was going on so before I knew it I was at church every sunday and wednesday and going to sunday school.

 

I soon hated it. My dad was always an easy going, laid back kind of guy but I saw him progress into a killjoy. We used to have such fun together but now he's obsessed with 'upholding the christian way of life' for his family. But my parents had me convinced at the time and I was a genuine beleiver. Though this belief was never one that I enjoyed, it came from fear. I felt I had to live the way the bible and my parents, preachers, ect told me to or I would be tortured for eternity in hell. I worried about everything I did and even at my young age I feel that I've missed out on a lot of enjoyment.

 

Now that I'm a teenager I've tired of the church. I've quesioned all the teachings and despite all the opposition, I've come to the conclusion that there's no point to the whole thing. I'm sick of living under so many restrictions on my life. I'm sick of being prohibited from doing completely harmless things. For example, sex before marriage - what's the problem? As long as I don't get the girl pregnant or catch a disease then there isn't one. Now that I don't believe in the whole thing, it's like a massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I know this may seem petty, but that's what it's been like for me.

 

Of course, that hasn't made my home life any better. My life is still really really restricted. I'm still part of a scout troop afilliated with the church and other church youth groups because I'm not allowed to leave. I don't watch much TV. It goes off completely after 9 o'clock and even a lot of stuff that's on during the day I can't watch because it's all 'unchristian'. I'm only allowed on the internet for educational or religious pruposes (But they can't keep track all the time, as this testimony has shown, hahaha). Naturally most popular music's the tool of the devil so there's so much good music I've missed out on. Dating's completely out of the question and I'm not even allowed girls in my bedroom. They even restrict the pettiest of things, for example I'm not allowed to wear jeans, only slacks.

 

I know this might sound like whining, but I just want to be like a normal teenager. Other people at school, even those with less extreme christian parents, are given so much more freedom. I just want some of that, despite what the preacher might say about the evils of popular culture and the modern world. But I found a really great group of friends at school. They're really understanding of my problems and they're not judgemental like a lot of members of my church. They've been so supportive and I don't know what I would have done without them.

 

But as far as my parents are concerned I'm a christian and that's final. They say that I have to live according to this lifestyle until I move out. And worse still, they've always been dead set that I should go to a christian college, specifically Bob Jones University. I couldn't bear this. My brother, who's 19 goes to BJU and the rules are ridiculous. I know this will be a source of conflict in the future.

 

What I've been saying may have sounded a bit whiney to a lot of people, but I'm glad I got it off my chest. I just hope to finally be free sometime.

[Caretaker]

Hello...... Being forced to church doesn't preclude you from being a non-Christian.

 

Ouch. Your parents want you to go to a Christian University. That sucks. Quite frankly, you are in charge of your post-high school education, not your parents.

 

Of course, you have two basic options, and neither of them are pretty.

 

You can tell your parents that you find religion to be a complete absurdity and that you don't want anyone else to make decisions for you the rest of your life. This means you want complete control over your life when you are 18.

 

Of course, they will put you through proverbial hell for this at first. They will either reject you, or they might at least learn to live with it over time.

 

Or you can just play along and wait at least until you are 18. Sure, it will be hell not being yourself.

 

But either way, NOW is the time to start arranging your future without the aid of your parents. You will need to find a way to support yourself financially when you are 18. The last thing you will want is to be financially dependent on your parents when you are that age.

 

Quite frankly, I think it would be worse to make your parents think they have suceeded in making you a devout Christian and then you turn 18 and go "Ha Ha!!! I'm an Atheist!" so I think it would be better to make them struggle.

 

As for television, I am going to say that you aren't missing much for now. Much of it is becoming crap, and it doesn't offer much intellectual ammunition except for possibly PBS. If you can, make use of your local library, and get a good foundation in logical reasoning. This means covering Mathematics, Science and Philosophy. I imagine you are in or will be taking Geometry soon? Work very hard at it. It is great exercise for developing a formal logical system.

 

Don't let them break you. You will need to become stubborn.

 

And I wouldn't consider this whining. You made a good step in reaching out for help, and that is most important.

[Caretaker]

Oh, and very important.... How long before you turn 16? Are you familiar with the Emancipation laws in your state?

 

If your parents kick you out of the house sometime after you turn 16, and you can file for emancipation, do not hesisate to do so. I recommend looking right now for a public library that has internet access so you can keep in touch with sanity.

 

 

You can make me go to Church, you can make me read the Bible, you can restrict the things I do, but you can't make me believe anything.

[Amethyst]

I consider myself an ex-christian because I'm not a believer any more but I don't know if I would be really considered one as I still go to church.

 

Hello. I would consider you a closet ex-Christian. I was that way for a while too. Luckily, I'm an adult. My parents and close friends now know, but I haven't told the rest of the family, and I probably won't.

 

I agree with the library advice. You should also get into the habit of using anonymous web surfing sites so your identity can't be tracked. Don't bookmark this site, or your parents will probably find it. And if you start a blog, be careful to only update it while at the library. If you update it from home, chances are pretty good that your parents will catch you eventually.

[Pariah]

Welcome, I Like Pie. Thanks for sharing your testimony, and congratulations on being courageous enough to question what the people around you believe. I think you'll find the people here to be very supportive and accepting.

 

I'm not sure if it will help but I'm going to go ahead and tell you something I wish someone had told me when I deconverted from Christianity last year (when I too was 15 years old): The problem is not with you. The problem is with the ridiculous cult called Christianity. You're not being petty or whiny or immature or anything else, though the Christians around you may say that you are in order to supress your dissent. You're desire to have a "normal life" is perfectly legitimate.

 

Anyway, I wish you luck in the future and in escaping the horror of forced church-going (I've been there myself). I'll see you around.