Getting Annoyed With "word-Only" Christians

[HRDWarrior]

Okay, so I have some friends, one in particular who lives like any secular person - but talk to him or read his status updates on FB and you'd think he was right there in fundy land. Constantly posting bible verses, and "encouraging" christian quote. Yet I know how this guy lives, and even by some non-christian standards he walks the line of being immoral (ie encouraging married women to have affairs with him - and doing it, partying until wasted every single weekend (and he's not 20 anymore), and other similar things). Most of this I could honestly care less about in the average person, but the fact that he sits and spouts this bible crap annoys the hell out of me....and I don't know why.

 

I think that's what bothers me the most - the fact that it bothers me!!! I shouldn't care if someone is a shitty christian or not, I wish the entire religion would just go away, but bold faced hypocrites (even worse than the garden variety we see in all churches) are still irritating to me....and it pisses me off that I'm irritated!

 

Has anyone else gone through this phase? I can't think of any typical christian hypocrites that irritate me, mostly just this guy in particular since I know how he lives and acts in his day to day life....grrr, I know I shouldn't care, and I really just want to "not give a damn" but every time I read one of his posts I just get pissed all over again! Maybe it's the fact that I have to see that shit posted on my FB knowing what the person posting it is like. I doubt it would irrate me anywhere near as much if it was my old friend who's husband is in seminary....

[Shyone]

Okay, so I have some friends, one in particular who lives like any secular person - but talk to him or read his status updates on FB and you'd think he was right there in fundy land. Constantly posting bible verses, and "encouraging" christian quote. Yet I know how this guy lives, and even by some non-christian standards he walks the line of being immoral (ie encouraging married women to have affairs with him - and doing it, partying until wasted every single weekend (and he's not 20 anymore), and other similar things). Most of this I could honestly care less about in the average person, but the fact that he sits and spouts this bible crap annoys the hell out of me....and I don't know why.

 

I think that's what bothers me the most - the fact that it bothers me!!! I shouldn't care if someone is a shitty christian or not, I wish the entire religion would just go away, but bold faced hypocrites (even worse than the garden variety we see in all churches) are still irritating to me....and it pisses me off that I'm irritated!

 

Has anyone else gone through this phase? I can't think of any typical christian hypocrites that irritate me, mostly just this guy in particular since I know how he lives and acts in his day to day life....grrr, I know I shouldn't care, and I really just want to "not give a damn" but every time I read one of his posts I just get pissed all over again! Maybe it's the fact that I have to see that shit posted on my FB knowing what the person posting it is like. I doubt it would irrate me anywhere near as much if it was my old friend who's husband is in seminary....

It's annoying enough, but Hypocrisy is the icing on the cake.

 

Aren't you just a little bit tempted to make it public? Done is a subtle way, it might get the message across.

 

In reply to a particularly nauseating Christian display, you might express your [legitimate] concern: "This message reminds me, are you ok? You were so drunk the other night I was worried about you." Well, maybe a little more subtle, but you get the idea.

 

Even plotting might make you feel better. Every one of his posts is another opportunity to burst his bubble.

[buffettphan]

I know how you feel. No matter how hard I try, no matter how far I think I've gotten past the stage that xtians can piss me off, no matter how much I don't want to, I can still get pissed off by hypocrites like that. Some days they don't bother me and I can actually laugh at them. But other days..... grrrrrrrrrrrrr......

Wish I had a solution.... for both/all of us. All suggestions welcome.

[buffettphan]

 

In reply to a particularly nauseating Christian display, you might express your [legitimate] concern: "This message reminds me, are you ok? You were so drunk the other night I was worried about you." Well, maybe a little more subtle, but you get the idea.

 

Even plotting might make you feel better. Every one of his posts is another opportunity to burst his bubble.

 

 

I like!

[Loren]

For me, having done the work which came from taking doctrine and morality seriously and personally, which then led to my deconversion, what makes me mad is that now I have an extremely accurate perspective on what it looks like when someone is taking their religion seriously, how hard they're working on it, how easily available information is to acquire if the person is actually interested in seeking it and so on.

 

The personal excuses Christians take refuge in don't work on me any more. I've done far more work on Christianity and it's related fields than most of the damned clergy, let alone the laity. I can take one look at them, or listen to them for thirty seconds or so, and know exactly where they are in how seriously they take their religion, how much work they've seen fit to put into it, and so on.

 

From what I've seen on these boards, this is one thing which many of us apostates have in common. After all, almost none of us did all that work in order to get out of Christianity; We did it to resolve problems which we saw as keeping us from having a better understanding, being better believers and so on.

[Midnight-mindwanderings]

My husband worked with a guy like that. He was very annoying to me (so much so I unfriended him) because he was also the one who would cry like a big baby every time something didn't go exactly as he wanted. And it was almost always his own fault. For instance he had 3 drinking related citations - drunk and disorderly, public drunkeness, stuff like that - and was told by his commanding officer to attend AA meetings and not to drink at all any more or he would not be allowed to go on a class trip to Korea. Well he got drunk, got arrested and guess what, didn't get to go to Korea. And he spent the week leading up to the class's departure praying that their plane would go down.

 

In my case, I would have disliked this person anyway. His supposed christian platitudes made it worse, but also in my case anyone who posts bible verses on facebook annoy me. No matter what its the least sincere and 'look at me' form of piety that exists.

 

Also this guy seemed to have the idea that god and the world revolved around him. His statuses about god were always selfish and often included desires for retribution against perceived foes. It is annoying, which is why I simply unfriended him. You could always Hide is activity in facebook if you don't want to unfriend him. Then you can keep contact with him as you want to but don't have to see his hypocrisy.

[Shyone]

For me, having done the work which came from taking doctrine and morality seriously and personally, which then led to my deconversion, what makes me mad is that now I have an extremely accurate perspective on what it looks like when someone is taking their religion seriously, how hard they're working on it, how easily available information is to acquire if the person is actually interested in seeking it and so on.

 

Ninety-nine percent of the excuses Christians take refuge in don't work on me any more. I've done far more work on Christianity and it's related fields than most of the damned clergy, let alone the laity. I can take one look at them, or listen to them for thirty seconds or so, and know exactly where they are in how seriously they take their religion, how much work they've seen fit to put into it, and so on.

 

From what I've seen on these boards, this is one thing which many of us apostates have in common. After all, almost none of us did all that work in order to get out of Christianity; We did it to resolve problems which we saw as keeping us from having a better understanding, being better believers and so on.

Isn't THAT the truth. It starts with a question perhaps, but not a "desire" for anything (except knowledge) and certainly not a direction - like OUT of Christianity.

 

It's just that by the time you have successfully crossed the minefield, you're on the other side. And it doesn't look too appealing to go back either.

[HRDWarrior]

Shy, I may very well do that a bit more often - I have actually done it once or twice before (and I'm not the only one, one of his other friends has made a comment a time or two), but he is the type if he got annoyed with it enough he might quit

 

Loren, I agree. Heck, I probably STILL spend more time learning about christianity, it's roots, where it came from, how it got here, why the bible is written the way it is...than most christians do. Sure, I'm looking at it from a different perspective now, but in times past I had really dug into it, studied it, and tried to learn it, which did eventually begin my deconversion even though that was never the intention. You're right, that may very well be part of my annoyance.

 

midnight, I am seriously considering doing that....I'll probably tell him why, but at least if I'm not being faced with it, I probably won't be annoyed anywhere near as frequently.

 

Buffet (and everyone!) glad to know I'm not alone....I almost didn't post this since I was feeling rather silly about the fact that it bothered me so much, but it seems I'm not the only one who's been there!

[lunaticheathen]

Personally, this dude does NOT sound like the kind of guy I'd be friends with in the first place, but that's me. I find acting knowingly in an extramarital affair disgusting, and encouraging it flat-out awful. And this is not out of some christian-slanted idea of the "sanctity of marriage", whatever form of bond it is, it's a promise, and I don't take any oath lightly. This is the main reason I'm so happy I never got baptized. I have no oath with Abraham's god, and never will.

Anyway, back to thread - Shy's idea is good, but as my friends say about me, I'm as "subtle as a sledgehammer." I would have told this dick to fuck off long ago. Midnight's right about online bible quote statuses to be complete "look at me kissing god's ass! I'm, like, SOOOO RIGHTEOUS and stuff" shows of piety that would make the Jesus who told his followers to pray in their closets to smack the posters across the face with a trout. Or maybe a brick. Believe me, you're not alone in that being goddamn annoying. Maybe if he wouldn't get so smashed every weekend, he'd read what Jesus thinks about hypocrites.

[Deva]

...glad to know I'm not alone....I almost didn't post this since I was feeling rather silly about the fact that it bothered me so much, but it seems I'm not the only one who's been there!

 

I don't like it either, and see plenty of it on FB. I think the sheer hypocrisy of this religious posturing is extremely repulsive. I have sort of developed a thick skin for this type of thing and let it roll off me like water from a duck's back for the most part.

 

It is pure ego. It has to be a LOOK AT ME type thing if someone quotes verses at the figurative drop of a hat. Or they have doubts and somehow have to use this method to in some way prove they are a Christian. I think many Christians live with a considerable amount of doubt but cannot admit it to themselves.

 

Think of all the ridiculous outward shows of piety and yet you never see how some of these folks behave behind closed doors. Really enough to make you sick.

[Abiyoyo]

Okay, so I have some friends, one in particular who lives like any secular person - but talk to him or read his status updates on FB and you'd think he was right there in fundy land. Constantly posting bible verses, and "encouraging" christian quote. Yet I know how this guy lives, and even by some non-christian standards he walks the line of being immoral (ie encouraging married women to have affairs with him - and doing it, partying until wasted every single weekend (and he's not 20 anymore), and other similar things). Most of this I could honestly care less about in the average person, but the fact that he sits and spouts this bible crap annoys the hell out of me....and I don't know why.

 

I think that's what bothers me the most - the fact that it bothers me!!! I shouldn't care if someone is a shitty christian or not, I wish the entire religion would just go away, but bold faced hypocrites (even worse than the garden variety we see in all churches) are still irritating to me....and it pisses me off that I'm irritated!

 

Has anyone else gone through this phase? I can't think of any typical christian hypocrites that irritate me, mostly just this guy in particular since I know how he lives and acts in his day to day life....grrr, I know I shouldn't care, and I really just want to "not give a damn" but every time I read one of his posts I just get pissed all over again! Maybe it's the fact that I have to see that shit posted on my FB knowing what the person posting it is like. I doubt it would irrate me anywhere near as much if it was my old friend who's husband is in seminary....

 

 

I find that confronting people actions (I have been on both sides of this fence) usually settles the anger. Ironically, I may be in the same category of person that you are describing. I don't get wasted every weekend, or try to sleep with married women and all, but, I have my flaws, my moments.

 

People think I am a hypocrite for variety of reasons. It used to bother me a good bit, but, the more time that goes by and the more I research, study, and go through experiences in life; I realize that what other people think doesn't really matter at all.

 

Maybe that is why he is like that on an extreme level Maybe he says God is his judge or something.

 

Of all the life enlightening experiences I have been a part of, I usually leave it to staying in the unknown. We have no clue why people do what they do, other than psychological parameters within society; but even those surroundings fail sometimes, which goes back to that unknown area.

 

Personally, one of the reasons I don't attend church that much anymore is because of people that like to judge others, on any scale with their Christian practice and appearance.

 

But, IMO, it's like being in the Army for thirty years. There are some thing about the developed person of any genre that makes the person. A retired Army person already has a developed way of life, and it usually follows even outside of that atmosphere continually unless that person makes a drastic change in environment. A retired Army person though may iron their shirt the rest of their life just because they are used to doing that.

 

I see Christianity, righteousness, church, accountability, etc all in that same aspect. It's a learned trait that usually still sticks around like that shirt that gets ironed out, unless that drastic change happens.

 

Basically, we as people in general get used to what we learn to be, how to be, judge, etc. We all have our own views on life. My ex is renounced her faith for a while, then resumed back into Christian atmosphere again.

 

She judged me the whole time

[HRDWarrior]

lunatic, to be honest, the only reason we're friends at this point is because of what I can get from him - he's one of my classmates at school, and often has more experience and knowledge with the software we are using, and is usually very willing to help me with questions or problems I'm having in that regard. He's also an honest (albeit egotistical) critic, unlike many of my other friends who will say things look great when they really don't. If it wasn't for that, there would be no more to this "friendship" because he possesses some traits that I just don't find attractive in my friends - his immaturity being the primary one. He's a friendly guy otherwise, and someone I can tolerate for the most part since I really don't care that much what people do behind closed doors - takes two to tango IMO, but his general immaturity grates on me even in person - but, at this point, he's useful, and as I've begun to learn, in this particular industry (the film/animation/games industry) you don't burn bridges....because you never ever know what bridge may be useful down the road. To that end we remain "friends" - or acquaintances would be a better description I think - although I have been giving him much more of the proverbial "cold shoulder" lately because I think there was getting to be a lot more "friend" for him while I was perfectly happy with acquaintance and prefer to keep it that way.

 

Deva, knowing this guy, that's exactly what it is! His ego is far bigger than he is, and really is rather undeserved (I've met some egotistical guys/gals who maybe "deserved" to have a big ego, but he isn't in that crowd). So I'm sure that's a factor.

 

Abi, I've talked to him about his religion (or lack thereof) and really, even he told me it boils down to fire insurance and things that make him feel warm and fuzzy. I would have no issues with that if he kept it to himself, or if he only made those posts on the rare occasion, but spouting off bible verses and trying to come across as religious bugs the crap out of me for some reason. He isn't making it his own, or embracing it even....which is probably why constantly spouting off about it bugs me. If it's personal, keep it that way!

[hereticzero]

He is a typical fundy hypocrite. I get posts from them all the time spouting yards of scripture. I like to spout scripture back at them that contradicts their scripture. It is useless but entertaining none the less.

[Jedah]

You aren't the only one who find them annoying. The thing that's probably most irritating is that they are trying to have their cake and eat it too. They want all the emotional security of Christianity but still want to live a secular lifestyle, so they swallow the bullshit on the pew and apply it to the voting booth, but live hypocritical lives. Although in my case, the only ones I find seriously annoying are the ones that still believe in the doctrine of hell.

 

I tend to agree with Penn here.

 

While I consider people who honestly believe in the compatibility between the doctrine of hell and omnibenevolence to be Koolaid drinkers, I'd say anyone who believes this but want's to live their own way instead of dedicating their lives to missionary work is an enormous hypocrite who's beliefs are unworthy of any sort of respect. This is largely on the same lines as the thread "Christians: Fess up to your beliefs".

[godlessgrrl]

Oh, you're definitely not the only one bugged by hypocrisy - count me in too.

 

Nobody's perfect, but there's a big difference between slipping up or just being human vs. being a hypocrite. Hypocrites are fundamentally dishonest, with such a disconnection between what they say and what they do that they can't really ever be trusted. However, that isn't what bothers me so much. If they want to screw up their own lives by being that way, that's their own business.

 

What pisses me off is that too many hypocrites hold everybody else to the moral standard that they claim to live but don't - and turn right around and judge everyone but themselves for not living up to that standard! And there's always some really crappy excuse for why they're exempt, but nobody else is.

 

Yeah. Pisses me off.

[Houndies]

maybe this guy has the old "once saved, always saved" mentality which is basically a license to do whatever and still get to heaven. my husband has a friend and a brother who are supposed xtians, and they are either texting him with god related pictures, quotes etc... or they send porno pics and nasty jokes. he finds it irritating as well. my hubby sez 'if they are gonna call themselves xtians, then they shouldnt be sending out stuff like this (porn)." i think its the hypocritic aspect that really bothers him.

[Franko47]

It's sort of just another example of many who want to take advantage of the Christian faith, but cling to their "vices" and lifestyle and so on.

 

I used to know a guy like that; church every Sunday and spouting Bible verses, but in fact a "womanizer" and ready to exploit another person for personal gain at the drop of a hat.

 

 

I really don't accept a "Christian" who lives that way, or the guy who beats his wife, buys hookers, and does coke on weekends telling me that they are "wrestling with their sin". No, if you were truly "changed" by the spiritual claims of Christianity you wouldn't be doing that. At least the part where you "use" other people as "objects" for the fulfillment of one's lusts.

 

Christians often give me the "nobody's perfect" argument at times; but yes, I do demand a "higher code of conduct" from anyone claiming to seriously be changed or invested in a religion. Of course I don't expect super-human conduct, nor would I demand that a person repress their needs and wants, necessarily.

 

But don't give me this "nobody's perfect" excuse when you're really just *fucking around* all the time; sorry about the language but you know what I mean.

[Deva]

While I consider people who honestly believe in the compatibility between the doctrine of hell and omnibenevolence to be Koolaid drinkers, I'd say anyone who believes this but want's to live their own way instead of dedicating their lives to missionary work is an enormous hypocrite who's beliefs are unworthy of any sort of respect. This is largely on the same lines as the thread "Christians: Fess up to your beliefs".

 

I agree with Penn that there are good people who are Christians, but at the same time these folks have a enormous mental burden if they believe in hell. If they really believed it, I almost can't figure how they can live with the knowledge that billions of people have undoubtedly gone to hell and many more billions headed there. I really feel sorry for them when I look at it that way.

 

These feel good and prosperity gospel types are in a way more repulsive to me than the proselytizing fundys.

[Ren D P]

He is a typical fundy hypocrite. I get posts from them all the time spouting yards of scripture. I like to spout scripture back at them that contradicts their scripture. It is useless but entertaining none the less.

 

I do this, too

 

It has gotten me defriended a few times by others seeing the exchange but it is still fun, nonetheless.

[Shyone]

 

I tend to agree with Penn here.

I wish to comment on the video....

 

I agree in principle with what he said, but I think that he didn't carry the thought to its conclusion.

 

Yes, a person who thinks you are in mortal danger (or immortal danger) is "obligated" to warn you, to proselytize, as though it were a really important thing. And if saving a life is considered important, then how much more important to save ones immortal soul?

 

Given the nature of the delusion described (that is, Christianity) however, what means are acceptable? Are there any limits? With the truck analogy, he mentioned physically tackling someone in order to save their life.

 

I contend that with such convictions, there are no limits to what should be done out of concern for others. I also contend that, if one person puts many others at risk of eternal Hellfire, then to save all of the others there are no limits to what one should do.

 

"Men never commit evil so fully and joyfuly as when they do it for religious convictions"

-- Blaise Pascal

 

The Inquisition was not the result of bad people lording over others for selfish reasons. It was the product of sincere religious conviction and a concern for others.

 

Praising a Christian for proselytizing is "common sense", but where does it stop? This isn't just a slippery slope argument, it is history. An insane man who is convinced that the President is the Antichrist is no less delusional than one that "warns" an atheist of the dangers of not believing in his particular religion.

 

The line between proselytizing and enforcing is too thin. And so is the line between proselytising and stalking. I worry that Penn may have invited concerned Christians to do "whatever is necessary" to save his soul.

[Neon Genesis]

 

 

The line between proselytizing and enforcing is too thin. And so is the line between proselytising and stalking. I worry that Penn may have invited concerned Christians to do "whatever is necessary" to save his soul.

But I don't think Penn is saying do whatever it takes. He does say you should try to save a person if you think they're about to be run over by a truck, but he also says that if you're going to evangelize, you should do so in a respectful manner like the man who gave him the bible. One problem I have with this is Penn is forgetting is that God is the one driving the truck in the first place, so being saved by a fundamentalist from hell is like being saved from the mafia when they were the ones who threatened you in the first place. The thing that annoys me about this Penn video is that the Christians in Sunday school at my parents' church have seen this Penn video and they're all convinced now that the Holy Spirit is working in Penn's soul and he's going to convert to Christianity any moment now.

[Shyone]

 

 

The line between proselytizing and enforcing is too thin. And so is the line between proselytising and stalking. I worry that Penn may have invited concerned Christians to do "whatever is necessary" to save his soul.

But I don't think Penn is saying do whatever it takes. He does say you should try to save a person if you think they're about to be run over by a truck, but he also says that if you're going to evangelize, you should do so in a respectful manner like the man who gave him the bible.

 

Um, the "evangelist" was respectful, but my point was that failing success with the respectful approach, the evangelist should be "as aggressive as necessary" to save Penn.

 

In the truck analogy, words were not enough. It took physical intervention. If we were talking about eternal hell, the logical equivalent would be the Rack!

 

"Give them an inch, and they'll take a mile."

 

If the evangelist had been more aggressive, less polite, and more physical, would Penn have been so appreciative? He might admit that the evangelist was "doing what he felt was right and necessary", but I think he would have felt threatened. Will other evangelists get this "message"? Some will. Some will simply understand that you need to be as physically agressive as necessary to save someone from the Hell-Truck.

[Neon Genesis]

The simple solution to all this is to just stop believing in hell.

[Ouroboros]

The simple solution to all this is to just stop believing in hell.

I think a lot of us de-converts start around there. Not everyone, but it's definitely one of those tricky topics in Christianity. It gets to a point where we just can't justify Hell and infinite love, or that something silly and simple as "believe the right thing" decides the outcome.