wt-hell?! Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 I've got to vent about this. I had been suspecting that a few co-workers have been talking behind my back. Situation: I've been working with a group for nearly 7 months, we get a long fine but I don't sit and chit chat with them. Nothing in common with them and I'm not there to make friends anyways. I'm cordial, respectful and I keep my nose in my job and not in other people's business. A new employee just came in, she's been there for about 3wks, and has been talking about me behind my back. I only suspected this because a few of the other teachers have changed their attitude towards me and I've been told that I should be careful who I talk to about things. Mind you, I don't talk to anybody at work about anything, esp. not frustrations. Well la de da, this employee gets 'advice' from a co-worker (both christians) that she needs to just pray about the whole deal and see what God wants, but honestly she needs a new assistant (that'd be me). I'm sure they've been sitting around praying for me and getting guidance from God about what to do, but hey while we're at it let's trash our co-workers reputation. I don't know what has changed, other than the new employee, but I am basically a joke at work now. I have been doing perfectly fine, my bosses love what I'm doing and have done. I've made a lot of progress in the small time that I've been there. But this is so frustrating. Talk about the power of gossip, I mean prayer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dB-Paradox Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 Have you called them on it and flat out asked what's different? And what things do you need to be careful about talking to certain people with? Do you know who this someone is that you need to be careful with? That's too bad when shit like this happens at work. My wife has never liked any of her jobs long term. They start out fine, but quickly turn sour. The business of people is tough! Hang in there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Or'el Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 I totally agree with you! "Prayer gossip" is very harmful and destructive, and yet so wide spread. But how can a person be so wrong if it is for a "righteous" cause??? BLAH! (Feel the sarcasm!) I am so sorry that you are experiencing the effects of some of it. I hope things get better soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wt-hell?! Posted February 18, 2010 Author Share Posted February 18, 2010 Have you called them on it and flat out asked what's different? And what things do you need to be careful about talking to certain people with? Do you know who this someone is that you need to be careful with? That's too bad when shit like this happens at work. My wife has never liked any of her jobs long term. They start out fine, but quickly turn sour. The business of people is tough! Hang in there! I don't talk to anybody. I'm an assistant teacher, the teacher I've been working with in the classroom(3wks) is the one talking about me. She's talking to other teachers that I have been working with for months. I think she personally just doesn't like me but it makes the tension in the classroom super high and the kids are acting out against it. They have gotten horrible! I'm gonna be talking with my directors about the situation tomorrow. But I may have to leave And I've talked to the teacher, not specifically about the talking about me part but about what she's frustrated with. She didn't really hear me out, stuck her hand up and rolled her eyes, and practically talked to me like a child. So it's a big ball of frustrations right now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vixentrox Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 Gossiping is a sin, but having a prayer circle is a good way to get around that. You get to gossip about people under the veneer of holiness because you are praying for them. Just more evil hypocrisy Christians engage in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvless Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 I would ask the new girl what her beef is. Do it in an assertive, yet kind way. Confront her on it and once you have, kill her with kindness. Gossips usually hate confrontation. If that doesn't help much, then I would talk to the other ladies and try to make them feel for you. If the girl comes a gossiping again, they might reject it and she will look like "the meanie". Sometimes it is better walking away from a situation if all else fails, but I would try to stop it first. I hope the situation gets better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ampersand Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 Let me add my condolences on your situation. In short, it sucks. When I first told one of my friends I wasn't a Christian she answered with the most condescending "I'll pray for you" I have ever heard and proceeded to have "prayer meetings" with our friends. It was like jr. high all over again. I wish people could get over gossip. It builds into this huge THING because everybody feeds off each other and all you need to start the fire is that one person who loves drama. Really, I think it is because all of the teachers you work with are bored and this is "important." They have something to feel righteous about now. Anyway, hope everything works out for you. I've been in the work situation you are in, but left before it got that bad. Of course, I was substitute teaching at a Christian school (the one I had attended as a kid - which made it much worse- these ppl thought they had the right to comment because they had been acquaintances at one point) and already knew I couldn't handle being the one to indoctrinate young minds without deep depression. I tried to encourage discussion of belief without relying on quotes from parents. Ppl didn't like that, hence the gossip. So a little different than your situation. Is this a public school you are teaching at? If so, there shouldn't be any "harassment" over religion or lack thereof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wt-hell?! Posted February 19, 2010 Author Share Posted February 19, 2010 Let me add my condolences on your situation. In short, it sucks. Is this a public school you are teaching at? If so, there shouldn't be any "harassment" over religion or lack thereof. Thanks, it does suck and I wish I could leave but I really need the money. And it's a public/non-profit deal, but everyone there is uber religious. Even though it isn't our policy to teach any kind of religion (because of offending other kids parents) the teachers still play gospel music and mention god and going to church in class. No one except the teacher I work with knows that I don't do the whole god thing, so I can't really attribute it to that. But I definitely feel like an outcast. I've talked with my supervisor about the situation and they might try to move me to another classroom. Thank God! Their prayers are working! I hope they continue with their 'prayer circle'(read sarcastically). Nothing would've happened had I not gotten fed up and started to do something about it! Urgh, I'm gonna try to find another job. At least now, the supervisor knows that the horrible situation in the classroom is not my fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhyBaby Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 I'm sorry you are going through this. What a bummer. My only suggestion is that you approach the people involved with an adult, objective demeanor. State your feelings, but don't show them (don't give them any more ammunition to use against you). Something like, "I've heard that you have had "X" to say about me. It frustrates me that you didn't feel like you could talk to me directly about it. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't talk to others about things you have not discussed with me." Prayer Gossip is the kinder version of this concept. At least the idea of concern for the person being gossiped about is still at least considered. What you are going through is what I have dubbed "Trial by Gossip". The accused in always in absentia and presumed guilty. The jury is one of the accuser's peers. The punishment varies depending on how much contempt and possible disinformation the participants want to spread around. As a Christian, this type of behavior troubled me deeply. What happened to the concepts of grace, mercy and love? If you want to speak to these people in Christian terms, try these verses: Romans 1:26-32 26 For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, 27 and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error. 28 And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; 32 and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them. As a side note, notice that being a gossip or disobedient to parents is just as EEEEVIL as being homosexual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElrondHubbard Posted February 26, 2010 Share Posted February 26, 2010 That seems like a really nasty situation, but it sounds like you're doing the right thing about it. It makes me really sad how often Christians miss the whole point of their own religion - I mean, if they really cared enough about you spiritually to prayer-gossip about you, shouldn't they be bending over backwards to be as kind, friendly and loving to you as possible? Shouldn't they want you to be a Christian, too, and isn't demoralizing and alienating you the least effective way to do that? Ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts