dB-Paradox Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I realize this is kind of a dumb poll, but bear with me. And be as honest as possible (I hope the poll is private). I honestly did not leave the Christian faith due to any unresolved sin in my life. But read below and you'll see why I made this post... I got an email from my sister-in-law basically accusing me of sexually and/or physically abusing my children, and this was her theory on why I left Christianity. She claimed that she's known others who have left God because they felt he was not helping them overcome a serious "sin" problem. Needless to say, my jaw shattered on the floor while reading the email! How do you respond to something like that? No matter what I say, she's already got the idea in her head that I'm an abusive father. I *tactfully* tried to explain to her that opening my mind to objective research and criticism is what's responsible for my atheism. Haven't heard back from her yet, but she alluded to the police and social services getting involved at one point in the email. I'm FURIOUS!!!! Although I can just see the conversation playing out in my head between her and social services... "And on what grounds do you suspect he's being abusive to his children?" "Because he's not a Christian anymore, and I know someone else who left the Christian faith because they could not overcome being abusive." "Okay, I'm going to refer mental health to your case, and they'll most likely be contacting us again to place your children in a safer home." But in all seriousness, if she ever tries to disrupt my family life by getting authorities involved in what she renders as a dangerous situation, I don't know what I'll do, but it'll involve a bunch of choice words! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted March 16, 2010 Super Moderator Share Posted March 16, 2010 Threaten her with a slander lawsuit. She is an idiot to infer that simply because you don't share her religion, you must be a criminal. Seriously, should you find she ever mentioned this to anyone else, sue her ass off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I got an email from my sister-in-law basically accusing me of sexually and/or physically abusing my children, and this was her theory on why I left Christianity. Okay, that's really fucked up of her. Really. Like, twisted screwed up sociopathic fucked up. If it were me I don't think I'd talk to her again without consulting an attorney. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvless Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Wow. That is disgusting and I am appalled. Next time she says something like this, I would ask her if all of this is the "little Jesus" talking from inside her heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 This could be serious stuff Paradox. Serious stuff. I'm leaning towards agreement with Florduh. I wouldn't take a wait and see attitude here. I would go on the offensive in some way. If she's going to make spurious and damaging accusations like this then she needs to be told in clear language right now that this is unacceptable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Valkyrie0010 Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Sue her because this is what is called libel and it is slander of character Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Oh, make sure you save the e-mail too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dB-Paradox Posted March 17, 2010 Author Share Posted March 17, 2010 You bet your ass I kept the email! It was actually sent via facebook, and I'm thinking I'll report it. Suing her seems a bit much, but as Flordah said, if I find out this got further than her family and mine, I'll be on the offense pretty damn fast! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astreja Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Proceed as if you are going to sue, even if you decide to hold off. If you can, get a free consultation with a lawyer to see if this is actionable. If she posted this publicly, anywhere, with enough information to identify you, I'm about 90% sure that you do have a case. I'm not so sure you could successfully sue her if it was a private e-mail. If you do have a valid case, consider asking the lawyer to write a strongly-worded letter to her, and send it via registered mail so that she can't say she didn't receive it. You can -- And should -- report this e-mail to Facebook. If she e-mails you directly, report it to her ISP, too, and get her Internet cut off. When possible, do not respond directly to her. Save everything she sends you, and every time she sends another piece of trash your way, get one more professional involved on your behalf until she's surrounded on all fronts by angry Internet providers, lawyers, social workers, and sheriffs serving restraining orders. Oh, and block her so that she is unable to e-mail your kids -- A vicious nutcase like her could cause a lot of harm with very few words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 ...just one thing to add here that's not been said already... ...what a FUCKING BITCH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRDWarrior Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Some good advice so far. Definitely keep track of all correspondence from here on out. Don't threaten her - but I would at least file an informational report with the local police (print out all the documents, and provide as much of her information (address, phones, age...other identifying information) as you can. Then, if she brings it up again, add that to the report (be sure to keep the number - whether it's an incident or a report number will depend on the department). If she decides to follow through with this, then you already have things documented - always in your favor Don't wait to file the info report - it won't hurt anything to get it recorded, and then if she does follow through, you have that paperwork already together rather than having to deal with it when you're already super stressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagan Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Your sister sounds mentally unbalanced. Do you have support from any other members of your family? What do your parents and other brothers/sisters think? What about your wife's family? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dB-Paradox Posted March 17, 2010 Author Share Posted March 17, 2010 This is my sister in law...and yes, she's slightly more than unballanced! Her and my brother took a HUGE charasmatic turn in their faith about 5 or so years ago. Maybe more. They were so deluded, they needed God to tell them to do simple everyday things, like what kind of drink to consume (I'm not kidding!). My brother got a "message" from God saying that he could no longer drink pop. And then some months later, got another "message" saying he could drink pop again! WHACKED stuff! The rest of the family was very concerned for them, but believe they are okay now...I feel otherwise. They are still WHACKED! My wife's family is not happy with my apostasy, but is in total support of my wife and I with regards to this abuse accusation. Even they (as fundy as they are) recognize there's something wrong with my sister in law. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Threaten her with a slander lawsuit. She is an idiot to infer that simply because you don't share her religion, you must be a criminal. Seriously, should you find she ever mentioned this to anyone else, sue her ass off. I agree. Something like this is nothing to be taken lightly. If you don't nip it in the bud, and hard, it can get very ugly for you. We've seen something like this here that took a very bad turn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MultifariousBirdLady Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I got an email from my sister-in-law basically accusing me of sexually and/or physically abusing my children, and this was her theory on why I left Christianity. She claimed that she's known others who have left God because they felt he was not helping them overcome a serious "sin" problem. Needless to say, my jaw shattered on the floor while reading the email! How do you respond to something like that? Paradox, I agree this is very serious. A bunch of people have already given good advice on how to deal legally with your sister-in-law. I echo that. With respect to her saying that in the first place, sadly, I'm not very surprised. I've seen this happen several times before in a group I used to be involved with. I've been accused of having a "sin problem" at the root of my doubts, too, and even of having a demon which prevented me from "getting the spirit" and jumping up and down, clapping hysterically with everyone else at a big rally. I have no doubt that at least some people in the group thought my "sin problem" was related to me being pro-choice. I wouldn't be surprised at all if some of them thought (erroneously) that I had gotten an abortion. It might help to remember that, chances are, her fishing around for some "sin problem" in your life is an attempt to shield herself from the truth... that good people have good reasons for leaving Christianity. Many Christians I knew really couldn't handle that thought and had to come up with excuses any time someone left: sin problem, led astray by Satan, demons, what have you. That she landed on the topic she did with her "explanation" is despicable. Take the legal action to protect yourself, yes. Try not to let it get to you personally, if you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I realize this is kind of a dumb poll, but bear with me. And be as honest as possible (I hope the poll is private). I honestly did not leave the Christian faith due to any unresolved sin in my life. But read below and you'll see why I made this post... I got an email from my sister-in-law basically accusing me of sexually and/or physically abusing my children, and this was her theory on why I left Christianity. She claimed that she's known others who have left God because they felt he was not helping them overcome a serious "sin" problem. Needless to say, my jaw shattered on the floor while reading the email! How do you respond to something like that? No matter what I say, she's already got the idea in her head that I'm an abusive father. I *tactfully* tried to explain to her that opening my mind to objective research and criticism is what's responsible for my atheism. Haven't heard back from her yet, but she alluded to the police and social services getting involved at one point in the email. I'm FURIOUS!!!! Although I can just see the conversation playing out in my head between her and social services... "And on what grounds do you suspect he's being abusive to his children?" "Because he's not a Christian anymore, and I know someone else who left the Christian faith because they could not overcome being abusive." "Okay, I'm going to refer mental health to your case, and they'll most likely be contacting us again to place your children in a safer home." But in all seriousness, if she ever tries to disrupt my family life by getting authorities involved in what she renders as a dangerous situation, I don't know what I'll do, but it'll involve a bunch of choice words! I think one argument to use with her is that most child molesters hide in Christianity so that they can bad-mouth other people while molesting their own children. If anyone fits a 'profile', it is your sister-in-law! If the police show up to do a well-child check, they will want to see if your kid has marks on them or if they are getting enough food to eat. Invite them in and offer them some coffee. Be polite. I went through this crap with my mother-in-law several years ago. When the cops are satisfied, they will leave. Get a copy of the police report and keep it in your personal records to show if they come out again--this helps to build a pattern of interference and crank-calls the cops will see your sister-in-law create and it will help if you take her to court to sue for damages. The cops will quit coming out after a few phone calls from your sister-in-law and they may call you as a courtesy to let you know your sister-in-law is trying to cause trouble. Keep a record of every call you get from the police concerning your sister-in-law, protect yourself from the future. Besides, turn around is fair play. Anyone can call the police at any time and request they go check on the safety of a child, any child--my child or your child. Your sister-in-law has several kids? Call the cops and ask for a well-child check as a concerned relative. After a couple of trips the cops will learn your sister-in-law is a nosy busy body and ignore her. I went through crap like this from my mother-in-law after we moved several states to get away from HER! She accused us of all kinds of crap. You can insist on a warrant to enter your home but they will come back and maybe treat you harshly while they investigate you. I did not like it when they showed up at my house but I let them come in anyway. They never came back. When you have kids, to protect yourself, keep your pantry full of foods that kids eat, whether they will eat it or not because this shows the food is there and that is one sign of abuse is a lack of food in the house and a fridge full of beer. Always keep the pantry full. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dichotomy Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I know others have said it, but seriously, please seek some sort of legal advice, for your own sake as well as your wife's and childrens'. This sort of thing can really go wrong. Oh and yes, what a whacko your sister in law is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oddbird1963 Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Seek legal counsel. If anything, write her a stern, but legally appropriate letter and cc your attorney. Send it to her via registered mail. Rattle the whacko. Demand an apology and reassurance that she will discontinue her veiled threats and slander. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunaticheathen Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I have to echo advice given here. Nothing to add, but really, even accusations of child abuse are seriously damaging if not dealt with. Protect yourself and your children from this psycho bitch. Shut her down legally. Make sure you act sane and calm, no matter how enraged you are (rightly so, imo, but still, can't show it). If this cunt has kids, I think those children should be taken away. She doesn't sound fit to be around children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 Good luck in dealing with this maniac. I can't imagine how pissed off I would be if someone made up something like that about me. I can't offer any more advice than what's already been given, but it's good to know that you have the support of other family members. PS - No, of course "sin" didn't have anything to do with my deconversion. It would be quite stupid to believe christianity to be true and yet reject it just because of wanting the "fun" of "sin" that will send you to eternal torment. Only extremely shallow people think that that's the only reason people have for leaving the faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MultifariousBirdLady Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 Only extremely shallow people think that that's the only reason people have for leaving the faith. Wait, are Paradox and I the only people who have seen certain Christians accuse those who leave of this kind of thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dB-Paradox Posted March 18, 2010 Author Share Posted March 18, 2010 I read some letters from a former Christian who was being accused of leaving the faith due to a sin problem. The man went by the name James, and in actuality, it sounds more like he went from fundie to liberal. Not really an ex-Christian. But it does give an idea as to how fundies think. I'm curious, too as to how many other ex-C's there are who've had such an accusation against them. Back on page one, HereticZero mentions his mother-in-law who did something similar. I'm sure this must be a common thing. After all, most Christians can't understand what a happy atheist is. Or the existence of such a person threatens their very faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRDWarrior Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 I've certainly heard of the "leaving for sin" reason - but not to this extreme, although I'm sure it happens. In fact, I was thinking back to my uber-fundy days, and I could actually see how a hard core fundamentalist could see leaving christianity as child abuse all by itself. To them, that would mean the child is now most likely doomed to hell if the parent doesn't "raise them in the Lord" and what worse abuse could there be than "knowingly" condemning your child to eternal torment:lmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedah Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 Yes, I left Christianity due to problems with a sin I felt God was not helping me overcome. (0 votes [0.00%]) No, I did not leave Christianity due to any "sin" problems. (33 votes [100.00%]) :lmao: :lmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dB-Paradox Posted March 18, 2010 Author Share Posted March 18, 2010 I know! The results were pretty easy to predict in advance, but none the less, they are out there as proof that people don't actually leave Christianity because of some stronghold they can not overcome, or do not want to overcome. That's so stupid! I think I'm actually going to show this thread to my sister in law. Of course, in her defense, she'll say we're all in denial! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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