schrodinger's cat

[Ouroboros]

It'll have to do no such thing. That's the whole point of it being an indeterminacy. They're both doomed to hover in that spot for the rest of time unless something comes along to force a result. (i.e. separating the two)

I wonder if this is a better method to fly than the one explain in the Hitchhikers Guide? Trying to avoid hitting the ground seams a bit difficult, but the cat-toast-hover-craft seems feasible... it's a self-contained design!

[woodsmoke]

Hey, you may be on to something there. No matter how crazy I get, I can't seem to manage the trick of missing the ground. That cat thing just might work, though.

[Ouroboros]

Right on woodsmoke, let me know how it goes.

 

Everytime I tried the cat-toast-hover it gets into a spin that creates a wormhole, breaks the time-space-continuum and I get sucked into it and end up in a different location in space, and then I have to find my way back each friggin time... I hope you can solve that little problem.

[woodsmoke]

You've already mastered the technique to a much greater level than I. I'm still working out how to approach the cat without losing limbs.

[Ouroboros]

You've already mastered the technique to a much greater level than I. I'm still working out how to approach the cat without losing limbs.

That's the easy part, you only need a rat, net, tub of water, kevlar west, moon boots, steel cage and a strong will.

 

The hard part is to make the toast stay on the cats back!

[woodsmoke]

There's an easy enough answer for that one. Get a small square of something solid (metal, wood, plastic, whatever) and drill a few holes into two sides of it, then cut the string/twine/whatever you're using to tie the toast on into a few lengths and put small hooks on the ends of them. Then just put the square across the cat's back, put the toast on the square, wrap the strings underneath the cat's stomach and put the hooks through the toast and into the holes.

 

Viola! Self-made hover craft! We should go into business together!

[Ouroboros]

Viola! Self-made hover craft! We should go into business together!

I'll be gone the rest of the week, but next weekend maybe I'll try to write a diagram for it. Hehe. (if time so permits)

 

Unless you feel up to the task!

[spamandham]

Hmmm. I think the toast needs to be replenished from time to time. The natural course of decay and flies will diminish the butter in maybe a few weeks. Once the last critical molecule of butter fat decays spontaneously, the quantum indeterminacy will collapse and the cat would then be free to land on its feet.

 

I believe a full up investigation into butter decay is in order before you begin marketing hover cats.

[Ouroboros]

Hmmm.  I think the toast needs to be replenished from time to time.  The natural course of decay and flies will diminish the butter in maybe a few weeks.  Once the last critical molecule of butter fat decays spontaneously, the quantum indeterminacy will collapse and the cat would then be free to land on its feet.

 

I believe a full up investigation into butter decay is in order before you begin marketing hover cats.

Well, if we use fully hydrogenated butter, it shouldn't go bad. But I'm more worried about the spin, if the inertia of it would make the butter to fly off, and eventually the toast is butterless... it would have the same effect.

 

Is there a way of replenish the butter while in spin?

 

Oh, another question, does the law of butter-toast-landing apply even if it's over say a pond of water?

[woodsmoke]

Well, if we use fully hydrogenated butter, it shouldn't go bad. But I'm more worried about the spin, if the inertia of it would make the butter to fly off, and eventually the toast is butterless... it would have the same effect.

 

Is there a way of replenish the butter while in spin?

 

Oh, another question, does the law of butter-toast-landing apply even if it's over say a pond of water?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Hrm, I hadn't taken the spin into consideration, though I see now it makes sense as a part of the equation. The universe is going to want to make both the cat and the toast land as they should, so it's reasonable they'll both spend an equivalent amount of time correctly facing their destination.

 

Another problem we may need to tackle is how to deal with the adverse effect all this spinning will likely have on the cat. I'm sure you've all seen the unfortunate consequences of a cat which has been spun around for someone's perverse entertainment, and it doesn't take much imagination to realize the profound effect a continuous state of spinning would likely have on the poor creature. I don't know this for a fact, but I would imagine the law doesn't apply to deceased felines.

 

Finally, I've also realized we haven't thought of an equally cheap and efficient method of propulsion for the hover craft. The cat/buttered-toast singularity must remain suspended above ground, but there doesn't seem to be anything in the law to indicate it must also be propelled by any particular force in any direction. This will likely merit some thought, as well.

 

Replacing the butter shouldn't be much of a problem, it'll be just like refueling a contemporary vehicle which runs on fossil fuels, but at a much lower price and likely much higher mileage. Simply unstrap and place the cat in its cage and apply new butter to the toast then reassemble the "engine."

 

I don't see as the surface to be landed on will have any effect. As you can see in my signature, the law states only that toast must always land butter-side down; no mention is made of what it's landing on.

[spamandham]

Another problem we may need to tackle is how to deal with the adverse effect all this spinning will likely have on the cat. I'm sure you've all seen the unfortunate consequences of a cat which has been spun around for someone's perverse entertainment, and it doesn't take much imagination to realize the profound effect a continuous state of spinning would likely have on the poor creature.

 

Doh! I hadn't thought of that, even though I've witnessed dozens (hundreds?) of spinning cats. Haven't we all?

 

What if we just buttered both sides of the toast? On second thought, perhaps this would cause a superposition of zero and the toast would land on edge.

 

Ok then, two cats strapped back to back. Do you think that could solve the spin problem? I'm willing to capture a couple of cats from the neighborhood and give it a try, but from an ethical perspective I think I should have a well formulated theory first, although I'm willing to give it a try anyway - we can't hold back the progress of science you know.

[Ouroboros]

Hrm, I hadn't taken the spin into consideration, though I see now it makes sense as a part of the equation. The universe is going to want to make both the cat and the toast land as they should, so it's reasonable they'll both spend an equivalent amount of time correctly facing their destination.

How can a butt-landing be avoided?

 

Another problem we may need to tackle is how to deal with the adverse effect all this spinning will likely have on the cat. I'm sure you've all seen the unfortunate consequences of a cat which has been spun around for someone's perverse entertainment, and it doesn't take much imagination to realize the profound effect a continuous state of spinning would likely have on the poor creature. I don't know this for a fact, but I would imagine the law doesn't apply to deceased felines.

The cat has nine lives, so considering that the cat might live for a few days (lacking empirical data), we would be able to create a formula for the engines lifetime: t = 9*a.

(a: average lifetime of feline, t: estimated lifetime of engine)

 

Finally, I've also realized we haven't thought of an equally cheap and efficient method of propulsion for the hover craft. The cat/buttered-toast singularity must remain suspended above ground, but there doesn't seem to be anything in the law to indicate it must also be propelled by any particular force in any direction. This will likely merit some thought, as well.

True. What about adding a canine to the picture? Felines are well know to avoid being caught by its nemesis.

 

Replacing the butter shouldn't be much of a problem, it'll be just like refueling a contemporary vehicle which runs on fossil fuels, but at a much lower price and likely much higher mileage. Simply unstrap and place the cat in its cage and apply new butter to the toast then reassemble the "engine."

Or maybe Pamspray (I can't believe it's butter) can be used for refueling during flight?

 

I don't see as the surface to be landed on will have any effect. As you can see in my signature, the law states only that toast must always land butter-side down; no mention is made of what it's landing on.

Good. That settles that.

[woodsmoke]

How can a butt-landing be avoided?

 

Butt-landing? I'm not sure I follow. Could you explain?

 

The cat has nine lives, so considering that the cat might live for a few days (lacking empirical data), we would be able to create a formula for the engines lifetime: t = 9*a.

(a: average lifetime of feline, t: estimated lifetime of engine)

 

That's a rather handy solution, however we'd soon have those damned "animal rights" folks throwing buckets of paint on our beautiful cat-toast hover-crafts in protest of the inevitable engine turnover. (no pun intended)

 

I suppose we could always just run them over. That would serve to silence their complaints, and "animal-activist run-downs" is already a favorite pasttime in some areas of the country.

 

Having thought about it a little more, I'm not sure the spin necessarily be a factor here. As near as I can tell, the law merely states that both cat and toast land in their appointed manner; there's nothing said about whether each needs to face the surface to be landed upon for any set amount of time before doing so.

 

Of course, it could also be this is one of those damn hidden variables that seem to accompany virtually every theory of quantum physics, so it's probably best to continue to factor the spin into the overall equation until we know for sure whether or not the engine will experience such a phenomenon.

 

True. What about adding a canine to the picture? Felines are well know to avoid being caught by its nemesis.

 

Now there's an idea. I swear I've seen cats twist and propel themselves forward in midair in order to avoid landing in a spot advantageous to a waiting dog.

 

How to add the dog to the vehicle in such a way as to prevent it from both catching the cat and lagging too far behind, though? We'll need to think more on this one, but I believe we're on the right track.

 

Or maybe Pamspray (I can't believe it's butter) can be used for refueling during flight?

 

Another great idea, and I'm sure the cat wouldn't mind the occasional treat to make the work routine seem more bearable.

[Ouroboros]

Butt-landing? I'm not sure I follow. Could you explain?

Well, I was thinking since the machine obviously will work for the spin in one direction, can we be sure the cat/toast unit will stall upwards and in fact land on its butt? Or the opposite, that it lands on the face? It think they call it pitch control in aeronautics theory. The yaw has to be controlled too, for directional movement with the canine impulse.

[woodsmoke]

Well, I was thinking since the machine obviously will work for the spin in one direction, can we be sure the cat/toast unit will stall upwards and in fact land on its butt? Or the opposite, that it lands on the face? It think they call it pitch control in aeronautics theory. The yaw has to be controlled too, for directional movement with the canine impulse.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I see. This seems to coincide with the potential problem S&H cited about double-buttered toast creating a superposition of zero and landing on edge.

 

Perhaps we could install a rod that runs parallel with the cat's spine between them, with fixtures on each end that allow it to rotate, but not revolve?

[Ouroboros]

Perhaps we could install a rod that runs parallel with the cat's spine between them, with fixtures on each end that allow it to rotate, but not revolve?

You mean a rotisserie?

[woodsmoke]

You mean a rotisserie? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Brilliant! Once the cat finally croaks you can sell it to the Koreans and make a profit toward your next engine!

 

One great idea after another, I tell ya'!

[Dark Helmet]

You guys are hilarious!