Has Christian Abuse Made You Stronger?

[Non-Redneck]

Primary directed at those who are making progress towards freedom from the mental abuse of Christianity or who may have overcome it (or come close to overcoming it).

 

Do you think the abuse perpetrated by Christianity on you made you a stronger individual? Suffering from that abuse, I know what kind of sh*t to watch out for, what kind of people to beware of, what kind of scams to watch out for. The type of evil that Christianity does can also be found in other places. The farther I go from Christianity, the stronger I find myself, the more mental clarity I have.

 

I think in my case, after leaving Christianity, I am a bit more wary of this crap and have more resistance to abusive situations. So that is one positive aspect I can find from Christianity and leaving Christianity. Of course, it would have been better if the sh*t had never happened and I was raised strong to begin with, but I'll take this small but of light.

[Vixentrox]

It certainly has made me somewhat more skeptical about things...but i don't know if it was the abuse per se that caused. Ditching Christianity also made me a stronger person as I stand or fall on my own without some imaginary friend but again, don't know if it was abuse really causing it.

[Free_Wolf]

I would say yes, because I now know to be careful of what and who I trust, and I no longer feel guilty all of the time. The only downside is how depressing it is to see other people clinging to ignorance and spreading it around...it makes me wish there was such a thing as mind-soap.

[Loren]

I would say yes, because I now know to be careful of what and who I trust, and I no longer feel guilty all of the time. The only downside is how depressing it is to see other people clinging to ignorance and spreading it around...it makes me wish there was such a thing as mind-soap.

I'd say, yes. In fact, it's made me so much stronger that now the shoe is on the other foot and the abusers should be fearing me. I agree with what Free Wolf said about it being depressing seeing other people getting sucked in to that nastiness.

 

However, on that particular score, I'd also have to add that I'm now in an excellent position to help others either get out of it, if they're so inclined, or prevent it, if they're able to listen.

[ClaraOlive]

One of the most depressing things for me is that I don't feel that it's made me stronger or better. Nothing that I gained from it is better than if I hadn't gone through it at all. Oh great, I get to be a stronger person in my 30s, after having my childhood dominated by Christianity and my 20s dominated by an abusive fundamentalist husband. That's so much better than if I'd had a good childhood and a good time in my 20s, yeah right.

 

Sorry to be such a downer, but that's how I feel. However, I don't think that it's a reason to spend the rest of my life being bitter about what I missed out on. There are so many ways that life isn't perfect for most people, including ways that have nothing to do with religion, that complaining about my specific problems that are in the past for the rest of my life is only going to result in wasting what I have left.

[Guest Babylonian Dream]

It's made me look at everything with scrutiny, so in a sense yeah.

[Heathen Monkey]

It has taught me to be wary of emotional blackmail and to see Christians as victims of emotional blackmail themselves.

[ebonileigh]

Primary directed at those who are making progress towards freedom from the mental abuse of Christianity or who may have overcome it (or come close to overcoming it).

 

Do you think the abuse perpetrated by Christianity on you made you a stronger individual? Suffering from that abuse, I know what kind of sh*t to watch out for, what kind of people to beware of, what kind of scams to watch out for. The type of evil that Christianity does can also be found in other places. The farther I go from Christianity, the stronger I find myself, the more mental clarity I have.

 

I think in my case, after leaving Christianity, I am a bit more wary of this crap and have more resistance to abusive situations. So that is one positive aspect I can find from Christianity and leaving Christianity. Of course, it would have been better if the sh*t had never happened and I was raised strong to begin with, but I'll take this small but of light.

ABSOLUTELY and WITHOUT DOUBT it has MOST DEFINITELY made me STRONGER, and has done so in every aspect of my life. Oh, but how much better my life would have been had I been taught, or adquired critical thinking skills and skepticism and rational thinking and not been driven by my emotions I never would have been in the situation I was in that lead me to be prey for religious indoctrination and brainwashing. Oh the wasted years and the suffering.

But a resounding YES answer to your question.

[kazza]

My views are similar to claraolive on this one - i've always been irritated when i would talk to someone about some of the bad stuff that happened in my childhood and someone has said - 'oh but its made you stronger and who you are today' - its kinda dismissive, oh so that makes it all hunky dory then, and its like its just their way of brushing my experiences aside because maybe they are uncomfortable talking about them or something. Its happened with 2 friends of mine in the past.

 

I know certain of my experiences with regard to religion have left me permenantly effected in certain ways (to date anyway) and i cant see that changing. So whether i am strong or not (which people do say that i am strong - i dont know whether i agree with that or not!) religion has caused permenant seemingly irrepreable damage to me. Yes, my experiences have made me who i am, maybe stronger in certain ways but does that mean if i raise my kids with lots of love, interest in their lives and feelings, affection, validation etc that they will be weaklings? Surely that would make them stronger individuals having a solid base of love and acceptance to build on and fall back on when times get hard when they are older.

 

And yes i'm not saying woe is me, feeling all bitter and if only my mum wasnt so religious etc etc cos plenty of people have more messed up beginnings than i did, it could have been a lot worse, but i'm also not going round saying - oh having a shitty time as a kid made me so strong so i'm glad for it - because if i did feel this was the case then i would also feel that that is how i should raise my children so they are strong - i would beat my kids force then to church, demand instant obedience, scare them with hell and...well you get the gist!!

[ebonileigh]

Hi Kazza,

 

I agree with you, I have a great many scars from all the abuse I suffered, not only from the religious cult but also my ex husband, and I've had years of counselling, psychotherapy and medication. However it has all made me much stronger in so far as I will never fall prey to abuse from anyone individual or any institution ever again. It also made me take on research and study intensely. I don't think anyone would suggest that if you raise your children in a wonderful nurturing environment and they don't suffer any abuse of any kind they would turn out to be weaklings, quite the contrary, if they are raised in a nurturing environment and are taught critical thinking skills and are taught evolutionary science and about all the religions past and present and the suffering in this world, and taught to have compassion and empathy for others (including the non-human animals) then I would say that it's highly likely they would turn out to be strong minded individuals with great ethics.

For myself I have been exceedingly regretful, filled with remorse, filled with guilt, filled with shame that I fell prey to all the abuse, and what's worse exposed my children to it all.

[Vigile]

I'm not so sure Nietzsche was right. Abuse doesn't always make you stronger. It's a difficult question to answer. It has made me somewhat obsessed with the subject even 20 or so years after the fact, it kept me from making good decisions about my future during a time when I had the most leverage on impacting my future. But, like others have said, it made me skeptical; perhaps. Perhaps I would have been skeptical anyway. I just didn't have the tools when I was younger. Overall I wish I was never exposed to it.

[godlessgrrl]

I don't give any abuse or abusers in my life credit for making me better, faster, or stronger somehow. If I'm strong from having survived whatever abuses I've survived, it's not because of the abuse - it's because of ME.

 

Not everyone emerges from an abusive situation a stronger person. Some succumb to it, some become abusive themselves, some are ruined for life. It just depends on the person. I consider that if I've lived through abuse it was because I was already strong enough somehow, not that being maltreated tempered me. And I was creative enough to find and draw on a strength that was already there.

 

That's how I look at it, anyway.

[kazza]

Good point Gwenmead! I agree.

[Xerces]

I don't know about stronger, but I do think leaving it has brought me to a point I might have already been at had it not been for the negative effects of Xtianity. I do not feel guilty about tiny fucking things, I don't look at something that is completely natural and human as sin anymore, I have more self esteem, I'm immensely more accepting of people, even though fucktard xtians piss me off. I'm highly skeptical of things, I look at the world more rationally, and the way I look at things such as world issues, and love have changed. In a nutshell I would say I've done a complete 360' from who I used to be.

[Vomit Comet]

Overall I wish I was never exposed to it.

 

I have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, they got me at the age of 15 when I was in a very bad place. I used to tell people in my testi-phony "I would have been dead, or locked up, or in a mental hospital" had I not gotten "saved" when I did, because that was definitely the all-time low-point for me. Maybe it's true, maybe I would have ended up getting a lot more fucked up than I did, had they not intervened and told me to be a good boy as opposed to a potentially homicidal, psychotic ball of hate.

 

But I do wish that I would have come to my senses by the age of 18, as opposed to the age of 27. I would have been just fine from that point on, and I could have lived a fuller life.

 

Ummmmmmm...

 

Okay... scratch that "fuller life" shit, I could have gotten laid is what I really meant to say.

[I Broke Free]

Has Christian abuse made me stronger?

 

I definitely feel like a much stronger person for having gone through my Christian experience, but the abuse I endured was all of my own making. I was aged 16 when my guilt and shame over being gay (I came from non-religious family) led me the door of the LDS Church. During my two years with them I was like their poster boy. “A local kid all on his own finds his way the Mormon Church; Jesus is working miracles!” I made myself out to be the picture perfect Christian and was rewarded for it. The only problem was that it was all a lie. After two years I could no longer endure it anymore and left.

 

It is very hard for me today (aged 49) to look back and understand who I was then. Why did I feel it necessary to lie to a bunch of strangers to have their approval?

[Jay Ketcherside]

Primary directed at those who are making progress towards freedom from the mental abuse of Christianity or who may have overcome it (or come close to overcoming it).

 

Do you think the abuse perpetrated by Christianity on you made you a stronger individual? Suffering from that abuse, I know what kind of sh*t to watch out for, what kind of people to beware of, what kind of scams to watch out for. The type of evil that Christianity does can also be found in other places. The farther I go from Christianity, the stronger I find myself, the more mental clarity I have.

 

I think in my case, after leaving Christianity, I am a bit more wary of this crap and have more resistance to abusive situations. So that is one positive aspect I can find from Christianity and leaving Christianity. Of course, it would have been better if the sh*t had never happened and I was raised strong to begin with, but I'll take this small but of light.

 

Interesting question, with a slight implication that things might have been different sans Christianity. For me, I wouldn't have existed without Christianity. My parents were introduced by their Pentecostal pastor, and afterwards there was a lot of pressure from peers and the pastor to marry and start a family. I am the product of that union.

 

While that faith created the circumstances of my birth, it didn't make me what I was. The forces of nature and the apparent hormonal influence I received in utero (or genetic) turned me from a quiet little church boy into a depressive, frightened gay adolescent once puberty sat in. Not having the resources to reconcile my belief system with my body tore me apart inside, and I honestly think the only thing that saved my life was a philosophy survey class I attended my first year at college. It taught me to think for myself, and gave me the seeds to begin a new, rational life.

 

Do I believe that Christianity is deliberate evil? Perhaps it is by those who use it to gather and wield power, but for most ordinary, everyday people ... it's a matter of "doing what they know." Besides fighting for our voice in the public arena, I think part of our duty as participants in society is to make our "disbelief" a non-issue, to show that it doesn't have to be threatening, to show it doesn't create evil or immorality. Our examples in living do more to teach those around us than any Sunday sermon.

 

Christians aren't a "them," they aren't alien beings, or zombies. They're people just like you and me who have yet to break from an old cultural belief system. They can be educated ... by you and me ... by example. I do it everyday.

[hereticzero]

I think I would have become a better person sooner had I not been a Christian all those years. So, no I do not give credit to the church for suffering for Jesus.