Parenting Question

[ExRC]

I have a question for all those here who have children, especially young children.

 

How did you raise your children in regard to religion?

 

I come from a very Catholic family. I've already dealt with the parents. They pretty much know where we stand, and after much conflict, they have finally shut up about how we raise our daughter, as far as religion is concerned. So I'm not concerned with them.

 

But here's where my wife and I stand. We have a daughter who is almost one year old. I know at some point she's going to start asking questions about God, heaven, etc.

 

How do we deal with that?

 

I'm somewhere between an atheist and an agnostic. My wife kind of believes in "something" after death, but she is certainly not Christian by any means.

 

Personally, I would be fine if my daughter never set foot in a Church and never heard the name "Jesus" in her life. By the same token, I would also be fine if she grew up to be a Christian, as long as it's her choice, made without any pressure, and she is happy. There's a small part of me that thinks that I should expose her to Christianity on some level, just so she can decide for herself; and that if I fail to do that I am doing her a dis-service. But then there's another, bigger part of me that thinks "why should I feel any guilt if my daughter grows up to think like I do?" I guess when all is said and done, I'm inclined to just remain neutral on the whole issue of religion.

 

As for my wife, she pretty much feels the same way that I do. She's probably a little more inclined to expose her to the religion. But she would also be fine if one day our daughter told us it's B.S. and she wants no part of it.

 

Anyway, I guess my question is, how did you all deal with these types of issues?

[LloydDobler]

My stance is that the kids learn far more by watching how you live your life than listening to what you say.

 

If you don't practice religion she will grow up not practicing it, finding it unnecessary.

 

She might have some superstitions from what her other family members tell her, but overall she will emulate you.

 

My daughter's only 3 though, so I have yet to see this whole thing play out, whether I'm right or not.

[ML13]

My stance is that the kids learn far more by watching how you live your life than listening to what you say.

 

[Checkmate]

My stance is that the kids learn far more by watching how you live your life than listening to what you say.

 

If you don't practice religion she will grow up not practicing it, finding it unnecessary.

 

She might have some superstitions from what her other family members tell her, but overall she will emulate you.

 

My daughter's only 3 though, so I have yet to see this whole thing play out, whether I'm right or not.

I agree with Lloyd on this one. I have twin boys of age 14, and so far the philosophy of living my life well WITHOUT religion is paying dividends.

 

Despite the fact that they had an early indoctrination of Christianity, with my becoming an atheist, and my wife being Christian in name only, neither of my boys miss nor desire religion. It's a non-issue. Everybody is happy, healthy and sane.

 

I never bad mouth religion or anything. (Their beloved Grandma is a Baptist. That would cause unneeded strife.) I simply live an upright and decent life, setting a good example WITHOUT resorting to fairy tale beliefs.

 

So far, so good. I'm fairly certain they recognize that religion is an optional thing. (It helps that the last time we attended church my boys told me that it was boring! An attitude I did NOT try to dissuade. )

 

I also believe that introducing children to ALL religions, myths, fictions and fairy tales helps them recognize the utter ridiculousness of them all. When Christianity is set alongside all the rest then it is revealed for the silliness that it is.

 

In short, don't try to hide anything from children. Teach them how to THINK and discern the truth.

[MQTA]

My children are going on 20 and 12. They have never opened a bible, they couldn't care less about it, and from what they've heard from it, it makes no sense to them.

 

We have Jewish and Christian relatives, and we go to everyone else's parties.

 

We taught them basically what others believe, and that we allow them their beliefs. We just kept everything real. No pretenses.

 

They're quite well adjusted, we get compliments on them all the time on how they are out in the world.. teachers, neighbors, etc.

 

Just reality answers to their questions with multiple choices on what to believe prefaced with a we really don't know, if that were the case.

 

The only side-effect we've noticed is since we haven't shoved conflicting messages at them, they tend to take some things literally from people. If someone says they'll do something, they seem to expect it'll be done just like that. Basically, they've been disappointed by all those promises people make on the fly that are just modes of speech.

 

Otherwise, we're treating them how we wished our parents treated us.

 

Reality is a tough place sometimes, but they're resilient, they adjust.

[♦ nivek ♦]

Moses.... John Moses Browning, famous LDS and inventor of firearms and related items of self protection, warfare and fun.

 

Old Mo' Browning made toys well worth worshipping..

 

As for the rest of the fictional assorted characters, including the Most High as a Kite Hollie spookie and His botz?

 

We do well without, thankya kindly..

 

k, Freeman, L

[Chad3232132]

I have a question for all those here who have children, especially young children.

 

How did you raise your children in regard to religion?

 

I come from a very Catholic family. I've already dealt with the parents. They pretty much know where we stand, and after much conflict, they have finally shut up about how we raise our daughter, as far as religion is concerned. So I'm not concerned with them.

 

But here's where my wife and I stand. We have a daughter who is almost one year old. I know at some point she's going to start asking questions about God, heaven, etc.

 

How do we deal with that?

 

I'm somewhere between an atheist and an agnostic. My wife kind of believes in "something" after death, but she is certainly not Christian by any means.

 

Personally, I would be fine if my daughter never set foot in a Church and never heard the name "Jesus" in her life. By the same token, I would also be fine if she grew up to be a Christian, as long as it's her choice, made without any pressure, and she is happy. There's a small part of me that thinks that I should expose her to Christianity on some level, just so she can decide for herself; and that if I fail to do that I am doing her a dis-service. But then there's another, bigger part of me that thinks "why should I feel any guilt if my daughter grows up to think like I do?" I guess when all is said and done, I'm inclined to just remain neutral on the whole issue of religion.

 

As for my wife, she pretty much feels the same way that I do. She's probably a little more inclined to expose her to the religion. But she would also be fine if one day our daughter told us it's B.S. and she wants no part of it.

 

Anyway, I guess my question is, how did you all deal with these types of issues?

 

 

I don't have any kids yet, and don't care to. However if I do, I'd most likely let them decide for themselves. If my kid asked me about God, heaven, angels or whatever, I'd be honest and tell them I don't believe in such things because there is no evidence that they exist. I'd explain to them that since cute little bunnies get run over by cars everyday there cannot be a God!

[Kalidasa]

I don't have any kids yet, and don't care to.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ditto to this. But if I ever do have a change in heart (entirely doubtful, as I greatly dislike children and always have), I'll raise them to be whatever they want to be. If they want to be atheist/agnostic/Pagan/Wiccan, that's wonderful and I'll support them every step of the way. If they want to follow any other religion, I won't like it but I won't try to force it out of them. There will be one very strict rule in regards to religion, however - preach to me once, and they will be grounded for a week. Preach to me a second time, and it's a month. Preach to me a third time, and they are out the door until they learn their lesson. I refuse to tolerate being preached to, not least by my own kids!

[Ouroboros]

I have a question for all those here who have children, especially young children.

How did you raise your children in regard to religion?

 

I told them what I believe (or rather not believe), but also made it clear that no one can be completely certain if there is something out there or not, and if there is, we will all go to the same place when we die. It was good enough for them.

 

The result was that my two oldest are pretty hardcore atheists! I wonder why? I guess they trust ol' dad.

 

I don't think it's necessary to force them into any religion or protect them either. It's better to explain the dangers of religion, and the importance of a personal belief rather than following some organization or cult leader. Independence and skeptical thinking is very high up on my list.

 

My oldest have Christian friends, and did go to Church for a while with them. He even played in their worship band! But he quit, and sometimes we talk about it, but he's not religious.

 

My youngest have asked a couple of times, and I think it's more important to give them a comfortable growing-up experience when it comes to emotional questions. So I give them the hope there could be something after death, but not locking in the ideas to any particular religion. With time, I'll explain more to them. You deal with them different at different ages.

[ExRC]

Thank you everyone for your responses.

 

Chad and Fyrefly, you may be surprised. I was once like you in that I never wanted kids. But I can say now that my daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me. Anyway, I appreciate your imput.

[Megistias]

We talk a lot about religion - all of them.

 

 

My eldest likes to play "Science Girl vs. Nonsense (non-science) Boy" with me where we discuss the natural world - she rationally and I, of course, antagionistically promulgating various mythological positions.

 

We don't "pick" on any particular religion, it is enough of a message to simply lump them all in together.

[spamandham]

I would worry less about religion and more about character. Imaginary friends won't help them through life, but treating other people with respect will.

 

If they ask about god, and neither you or your wife care much, just tell them the truth - either you don't think there are gods, and if there are, there's no way to know anything about them, so they're irrelevant anyway.

[Kalidasa]

Chad and Fyrefly, you may be surprised. I was once like you in that I never wanted kids. But I can say now that my daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me.

98581[/snapback]

I can see how that might be true for you, but consider this: I have not one shred of maternal instinct. I'd make a terrible mother. And as I said in my post, I have always disliked children. Even as a child I tended to gravitate more towards my elders. I would be dangerously close to being hauled up for neglect if I ever decided to pop out a joey or two, because I just wouldn't care enough about my kid/s to be a mother. It's better therefore that I stick to my decision. Marriage is out of the question as well, but that's another story entirely...