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Goodbye Jesus

God Has A Plan For My Life


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Posted

or not.....

Posted

It's this.

 

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What a good and loving god!

Posted

"Dis not plan me have in mind, Floyd."

 

(Anybody read Pearls Before Swine?)

Guest I Love Dog
Posted

If he has, he's taking a long time to reveal it to me. Perhaps he doesn't let you know what his plan is for you. That would be typical for the Christian god.

Posted

But how can he have a plan for your life if you have free will?

  • Like 1
Posted

The only person that needs a plan for my life is me. If God wants to control that, he's not much of a god.

Posted

Yeah, but if I believe that he has a plan for me, then, by extension, I'll feel important. I need to feel important and needed.

 

I forgot to mention that God needs an Army, too.

  • Super Moderator
Posted

Yeah, but if I believe that he has a plan for me, then, by extension, I'll feel important. I need to feel important and needed.

 

I forgot to mention that God needs an Army, too.

 

 

And he needs money.

--George Carlin

 

 

Posted

And he needs money.

--George Carlin

With streets of gold in Heaven, he shouldn't.

  • Super Moderator
Posted

And he needs money.

--George Carlin

With streets of gold in Heaven, he shouldn't.

 

 

Oh well -- just another contradiction in the fairy tale.

 

Or maybe he needs to consult a financial planner -- despite his own omnipotence -- which seems to be just a wee bit kerflewy. GONZ9729CustomImage1539775.gif

 

 

Posted

If he had a plan, I guess I messed that up too. A comedian named Gary Burbank used to have a skit that went something like this: "The highway to heaven is paved with green. The money is going to the Lord -- but it's got my address on it. Don't make me holler, don't make me shout, I want you right now to turn them pockets inside out." ROFL!

Posted

Come one now, gawd does not need your money. He just wants you to be so blessed by giving. How many times have you heard that shit from a fundy?

Guest Babylonian Dream
Posted

God just wants to see how generous an offering you can give, even in times of trouble. From your wallet to the preachers pocket.

Posted

If God has a plan for me, my soul has been on hold for years.

Posted

God's plan for me was apparently miserable loneliness, unanswered prayers and sexual repression, because of course, it wasn't his timing.

Guest
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