What Am I?

[FinallyFree]

I know what you're thinking...and let me start off by answering your question - No, I do not feel that I MUST be labeled as a specific religion, and I don't necessarily want to nail myself (pun intended) to any one particular religion. But I do feel the need to identify what I'm thinking and feeling regarding my spirituality. My knowledge is very limited, as christianity has been forced down my throat my whole life - and well all know that its a sin for christians to study other religions.

 

I want to explore my spirituality, but I don't know what's "out there" to explore. So, I'd like to share with you a few of my thoughts on spirituality, in hopes that I can get some guidance on different directions I may or may not be headed in.

 

In my christian days, I regarded the following as "weird"

 

1. I believe in energy. To me - it just makes sense that everything (or most things) have energy within them which could also be regarded as their spirit or soul or whatever you wish to call it. It's a powerful force when focused and harnessed. Example: The way that martial artists can break things with their foreheads and not get hurt. It's also a common belief that "Ghosts" are energy fields. I don't really want to think about that part of it though, because I'm afraid of the dark!

 

2. Nature - It has a strong affect on me. When I am upset and I go for a walk, I am able to find peace.

 

3. The Universe - There are a few parts of christianity that match-up with other religions or science that I think are sort of Universal Laws, rather than owned by a specific religion:

a. Christianity: Believe things that are not, as though they are = Mind over matter

b. Christianity: You reap what you sow = Karma (obvious one, but I wanted to listed it anyhow)

c. (ugh - it's late and I can't remember the others I had in mind... can you think of any??)

 

So, this isn't everything, but I think this gives us a good starting point. Looking forward to any feedback!

[SleeplessGhost]

Right now it looks like you could fit basically ANY non-Semitic religion, but I would caution not to go looking for another religion. Feel free to study many different spiritual paths and accept a religion if it calls to you, but don't go looking for one.

[Overcame Faith]

FinallyFree, according to your profile, you are newly deconverting. Great! You've made a monumental move by determining that Christianity is a false religion. It is understandable now that you no longer believe in the Bible and the Christian religion, that you want to determine exactly what it is you do believe. Fantastic. You're moving in the right direction. Perfect.

 

But here's the thing. There is no hurry whatsoever. If you haven't already, it's better first to fully come to terms with the fact that Jesus really isn't your savior who died on the cross so he could save you from your sins. Maybe you have that all behind you. I have no way of knowing. But if you haven't, then take your time and first remove the old beliefs before you start bringing in the new.

 

If you are very comfortable and all of the old is really out of the way, then may I suggest that you do some thinking about whether there is a deity of some kind or another? I know this is a very difficult issue for some, but now that Christianity is out of the way the issue isn't a matter of spending an eternity in hell or in heaven. It's now just a matter of whether the evidence is convincing to you as to whether there is a deity. And the great thing is that you don't have to be right either way because it's one of those questions that can never truly be answered one way or the other. Just look inside yourself and determine what is comfortable for you at this point in your life. If it is comforting to hold onto a deity, then by all means, grasp him/her/it and hold on. You can then go from there with other issues of your belief.

[Guest riverrunner]

I avoid this forum because I get in trouble but here it goes anyway. when I was a christian I used to wonder if I was missing out - could the mormons be right could the hari krishnas be right could the new agers be right?

 

I now accept that none of them are right and the most likely scenario is one of pure naturalism. we are the way we are by millions of years of evolution. consciousness, love, hate, mind over matter, superstitions, and even right and wrong itself is the product of evolution. just look at a house cat it has most of the same emotions as people. its quite wonderful really.

 

so the 'religion' i choose is humanism. I am cooking dinner tomorrow for someone I hardly know because she had back surgery and can't cook right now. why? why not. help each other out its a rough world out there.

 

on facebook just today I have a new age friend who posted a link that purports that sending a certain sound frequency at the gulf oil got rid of it all. what a crock! of course I have many more FB friends that post christian prayer crap. we as a species need to loose the dependence we seem to have on the supernatural. then one day we can move on to solve some real problems instead of praying about them.

 

thanks for listening and welcome here.

[Galien]

What am I? Free of the need to label myself in any way. Free to love others because that is what I believe I was born to do. Am I interested in anyone else's beliefs or theories? Not really. The grave disservice I have done myself all my life is to let other people and their bullshit fuck with what I was born knowing anyway. Life is too short to trust the untrustworthy, and most things "spiritual" that emanate from someone else's mind are exactly that. Trust yourself and your own intuition. If I had done that in the first place, I would not have spent so many wasted years listening to irrelvent bullshit. I am just pleased I worked that out while I still have some years left to be happy instead of miserable.

[FinallyFree]

Right now it looks like you could fit basically ANY non-Semitic religion, but I would caution not to go looking for another religion. Feel free to study many different spiritual paths and accept a religion if it calls to you, but don't go looking for one.

 

 

Thanks for your input. I've been mulling this over for a couple of days now, and I think what I'm really looking for is to fit in - to be understood - and to validate my thoughts/ beliefs/ feelings, etc. Reading your comment helped me to realize this. I think the validation I am looking for can be found within this community - at least that's what I have found so far

 

 

[FinallyFree]

FinallyFree, according to your profile, you are newly deconverting. Great! You've made a monumental move by determining that Christianity is a false religion. It is understandable now that you no longer believe in the Bible and the Christian religion, that you want to determine exactly what it is you do believe. Fantastic. You're moving in the right direction. Perfect.

 

But here's the thing. There is no hurry whatsoever. If you haven't already, it's better first to fully come to terms with the fact that Jesus really isn't your savior who died on the cross so he could save you from your sins. Maybe you have that all behind you. I have no way of knowing. But if you haven't, then take your time and first remove the old beliefs before you start bringing in the new.

 

If you are very comfortable and all of the old is really out of the way, then may I suggest that you do some thinking about whether there is a deity of some kind or another? I know this is a very difficult issue for some, but now that Christianity is out of the way the issue isn't a matter of spending an eternity in hell or in heaven. It's now just a matter of whether the evidence is convincing to you as to whether there is a deity. And the great thing is that you don't have to be right either way because it's one of those questions that can never truly be answered one way or the other. Just look inside yourself and determine what is comfortable for you at this point in your life. If it is comforting to hold onto a deity, then by all means, grasp him/her/it and hold on. You can then go from there with other issues of your belief.

 

 

Thanks for your input - I sincerely appreciate it. It has taken me 8 years to get to the point I am now. I was reading another post in a different forum about the deconversion process. I can identify with a lot of that - especially the anger part. I was angry for a long time at many different people. I have finally been able to move past that, and I am no longer angry - which in itself carries a sense of freedom. I *think* I have finally come to terms with losing my religion.

 

Regarding deities - when I think about this it makes me feel like I haven't completely released all of my anger about Christianity. I could write a lot about this, but for now - suffice it to say that I'm not ready to go there. Maybe at some point in the future I will change my mind, but for now I'm ok without a deity.

 

I think right now I'm most interested in learning about other ways of looking at the universe - so that I can figure out what makes sense to me. Maybe I'll take a little from here and a little from there.

 

I think the biggest thing I can take away from what you've said is that there's no rush. I need to make sure I keep that in mind throughout my journey.

 

Thanks again for your input

[FinallyFree]

I avoid this forum because I get in trouble but here it goes anyway. when I was a christian I used to wonder if I was missing out - could the mormons be right could the hari krishnas be right could the new agers be right?

 

I now accept that none of them are right and the most likely scenario is one of pure naturalism. we are the way we are by millions of years of evolution. consciousness, love, hate, mind over matter, superstitions, and even right and wrong itself is the product of evolution. just look at a house cat it has most of the same emotions as people. its quite wonderful really.

 

so the 'religion' i choose is humanism. I am cooking dinner tomorrow for someone I hardly know because she had back surgery and can't cook right now. why? why not. help each other out its a rough world out there.

 

on facebook just today I have a new age friend who posted a link that purports that sending a certain sound frequency at the gulf oil got rid of it all. what a crock! of course I have many more FB friends that post christian prayer crap. we as a species need to loose the dependence we seem to have on the supernatural. then one day we can move on to solve some real problems instead of praying about them.

 

thanks for listening and welcome here.

 

 

I can totally relate with what you are saying. People believe in their religion because they think it's the truth, and if you try to tell them about your beliefs, they think you are feeding them lies. How can any one religion be completely wrong, and - how can any one religion be completely right. The answer is exactly what you said. No one has all the answers, but no one is entirely wrong.

 

I think you and I have a very similar perspective. I am not ready to label my said as humanistic - or as anything for that matter - but I find the idea of it very interesting and I feel like I relate to it. I'm interested in exploring more about humanism and other similar religions/ belief systems.

 

Thanks for your input Riverrunner - I look forward to hearing more from you!

 

 

[SirPhoenix]

There are a lot of things in this world and in the Universe that humans just don't understand. Maybe some of it is only a matter of time, and maybe some of it is beyond us. For me, the greatest part fo leaving a false faith is that now I can truly appreciate all that really cool stuff out there. I think all of us, regardless of any theological constructs we may lean towards, can really seek out truth. I can conceive of an existance past this one. Do I have evidence for it. Nope, but why couldn't it be true? The difference now is that I won't be working my hardest to make sure someone else believes as I do.

 

 

[FinallyFree]

There are a lot of things in this world and in the Universe that humans just don't understand. Maybe some of it is only a matter of time, and maybe some of it is beyond us. For me, the greatest part fo leaving a false faith is that now I can truly appreciate all that really cool stuff out there. I think all of us, regardless of any theological constructs we may lean towards, can really seek out truth. I can conceive of an existance past this one. Do I have evidence for it. Nope, but why couldn't it be true? The difference now is that I won't be working my hardest to make sure someone else believes as I do.

 

 

Very true, SirPhoenix, and well said. I also value the realization that no one knows the truth, and that we should seek out our own truths - what ever works for each of us as individuals. And I too appreciate that I can freely explore things without fear of going to hell for it - whether it be other religions, psychics, or just other thought processes.

[Guest Babylonian Dream]

Right now it looks like you could fit basically ANY non-Semitic religion, but I would caution not to go looking for another religion. Feel free to study many different spiritual paths and accept a religion if it calls to you, but don't go looking for one.

it sounds something like the semitic religions the ones around today sprang from

[par4dcourse]

Q: What are you now?

 

A: Finally Free

[FinallyFree]

Q: What are you now?

 

A: Finally Free

 

I don't even have the words to express how I feel after reading your post - I want to cry. Its so simple, yet so true, and speaks so many things to me than just what those few words are actually saying. I'm floored. It's today's major epiphany - sincerely thank you!

 

 

 

[Antlerman]

Hi FF, welcome to the forums.

 

Regarding your question, I think the important thing is to recognize that you are now beginning your path, whatever that may be. I credit everyone on this site, including you, to have enough connection with whatever that is within them that would lead them to make an incredibly difficult choice in leaving one's religion, which often amounts to going against family, friends, culture, and moreover, ones' own self identity. Wherever you land, recognize that pull within you that brought you here.

 

I could share volumes of thought and experience with you which I wish I could easily, but I can only offer a couple nuggets of whatever wisdom I've gained. Be careful to not fall into another religion where you simply trade off one set of beliefs of what is true for another; essentially changing your residence but never leaving the city altogether. It doesn't matter whether it is mythological in nature or secular, religion and religious thought easily translates over into black and white, this is truth, dogmatic thought, no matter what the object of belief is. That may well be your greatest challenge in "leaving religion". How far do we really leave?

 

The other tidbit of wisdom from many, many years of thought and contemplation within myself to share is that if you are looking for spiritual truth, spiritual connection, don't make the common error that spiritual=mythological. That religion and spirituality must equal the sort of silliness of the Greek or traditionalist Christian ideas of deity. I myself am a highly rational, analytical, and spiritual person, and in no way do I compromise rationality for some illusion of comfort in believing in some sky-parent who will save me from life.

 

Yet the typical discussion you will hear about spirituality usually equates anything in that regard to so much, new-agey "woo woo". I can assure you, that argument though valid on a certain child-level, most definitely does not rise to the table in legitimate discussion beyond that Christian-level, mythic thought, try as they will to define the discussion as no more than that.

 

Be true to yourself, follow where you need to for yourself, and you will find yourself, and hopefully, way, way, way more in the end. It's just begun for you.

[FinallyFree]

Hi FF, welcome to the forums.

 

Regarding your question, I think the important thing is to recognize that you are now beginning your path, whatever that may be. I credit everyone on this site, including you, to have enough connection with whatever that is within them that would lead them to make an incredibly difficult choice in leaving one's religion, which often amounts to going against family, friends, culture, and moreover, ones' own self identity. Wherever you land, recognize that pull within you that brought you here.

 

You bring up so many good points. One that I can really relate to is that the major reason why I left christianity is because I listened to a driving force WITHIN ME. That is a huge realization for me - thank you for pointing that out!

 

I could share volumes of thought and experience with you which I wish I could easily, but I can only offer a couple nuggets of whatever wisdom I've gained. Be careful to not fall into another religion where you simply trade off one set of beliefs of what is true for another; essentially changing your residence but never leaving the city altogether. It doesn't matter whether it is mythological in nature or secular, religion and religious thought easily translates over into black and white, this is truth, dogmatic thought, no matter what the object of belief is. That may well be your greatest challenge in "leaving religion". How far do we really leave?

 

 

Thats a very interesting analogy. I am a very visual person, so its things like this that help me to truly understand. Like you said, I think the most important thing to remember in my journey is to always keep an open mind - and to steer clear from black and white thought processes.

 

The other tidbit of wisdom from many, many years of thought and contemplation within myself to share is that if you are looking for spiritual truth, spiritual connection, don't make the common error that spiritual=mythological. That religion and spirituality must equal the sort of silliness of the Greek or traditionalist Christian ideas of deity. I myself am a highly rational, analytical, and spiritual person, and in no way do I compromise rationality for some illusion of comfort in believing in some sky-parent who will save me from life.

 

I have been thinking a lot about this. As a good little christian, I have always regarded Native American folklore, as well as Greek Mythology (and similar) to be ridiculous and silly, and how could any intelligent person believe that story about how the skunk got it's stripe?? In all actuality, how are those stories any more silly than the stories of the bible: Jonah and the whale, the fish feeding the multitude of people, etc. It is this closed-minded mentality that is dangerous. Furthermore, the idea of the sky-parent, as you put it, too seems to fit into this same mythical category as you pointed out. Its funny to me, because when I read these things that you have pointed out, I think to myself "Yeah - I totally agree with that." but I never thought of it until you pointed it out. Does that make sense??

 

 

 

Yet the typical discussion you will hear about spirituality usually equates anything in that regard to so much, new-agey "woo woo". I can assure you, that argument though valid on a certain child-level, most definitely does not rise to the table in legitimate discussion beyond that Christian-level, mythic thought, try as they will to define the discussion as no more than that.

 

Again, as a good little christian I regarded anything that was not christianity as "weird" and those who followed those practices were "weirdos." It is now that I am exploring some of those weird thought processes and talking to some of those weirdos. It is always interesting the way life works out

I actually am leaving this morning, taking a bus to Boston, to visit one of those weirdos - my sister. She lives in Boston - Jamaica Plain to be exact. She lives in a community with a bunch of weirdos and circus performers - at least, that is always how I have referred to them. Now I go to them, to see out the unknown, and they will accept me even though I have spoken so badly of them - because they can appreciate that I was brain washed before - and that now my mind is truly reborn into something that can be molded and re-molded into what I want it to be, and not in a way that will please my sky-parent and save me from spending an eternity in hell.

 

I am so glad to have found this community. In the few days that I have been a member, I have felt so comforted by the people that have responded to my comments. This is an amazing place, and you are all amazing people.

 

Sincerely, thank you for taking the time to respond - you have made more of a difference than you can fathom (and that goes for all of you out there!!)

[Legion]

I resisted doing this for days, but can no longer resist...

 

 

You are a terrestrial organism.

 

You are of the Domain Eukara implying your cells have membrane bound nuclei and organelles. Mitochondria and chloroplasts are thought to have arisen as a result of endosymbiosis.

 

You are of the Kingdom Animalia meaning general motility or spontaneous and independent motion. All animals are also heterotrophs, meaning they must ingest other organisms for sustenance.

 

You are of the Phylum Chordata implying these are united by having, for at least some period of their life cycle, a notochord, a hollow dorsal nerve cord.

 

You are of the Subphylum Vertebrata meaning you are in possession of a backbone and spinal column.

 

You are of the Class Mammalia implying air-breathing animals whose females are characterized by the possession of mammary glands while both males and females are characterized by hair and/or fur, three middle ear bones used in hearing, and a neocortex region in the brain.

 

You are of the Subclass Theria meaning live birth to young without using a shelled egg.

 

You are of the Order Primates implying ProSimian (lemurs and tarsiers) or Simian (monkeys and apes).

 

You are of the Suborder Haplorrhini meaning dry nosed.

 

You are of the Family Hominidae implying among the great apes (chimpanzees, gorillas, humans, and orangutans).

 

You are of the Genus Homo meaning human and a survivor among other extinct species such as Habilis, Neanderthals, and Flores man.

 

You are of the Species Sapien meaning knowing.

 

 

We thus name you knowing human. Go ye therefore and boogie.

[Antlerman]

The other tidbit of wisdom from many, many years of thought and contemplation within myself to share is that if you are looking for spiritual truth, spiritual connection, don't make the common error that spiritual=mythological. That religion and spirituality must equal the sort of silliness of the Greek or traditionalist Christian ideas of deity. I myself am a highly rational, analytical, and spiritual person, and in no way do I compromise rationality for some illusion of comfort in believing in some sky-parent who will save me from life.

 

I have been thinking a lot about this. As a good little christian, I have always regarded Native American folklore, as well as Greek Mythology (and similar) to be ridiculous and silly, and how could any intelligent person believe that story about how the skunk got it's stripe?? In all actuality, how are those stories any more silly than the stories of the bible: Jonah and the whale, the fish feeding the multitude of people, etc. It is this closed-minded mentality that is dangerous. Furthermore, the idea of the sky-parent, as you put it, too seems to fit into this same mythical category as you pointed out. Its funny to me, because when I read these things that you have pointed out, I think to myself "Yeah - I totally agree with that." but I never thought of it until you pointed it out. Does that make sense??

I think the reason is because you may sense something to be a certain way, but simply lack the knowledge of the various areas of study and thought in the subject matter in order to be able to articulate it, not just to others but your own self. That's sort of what I do, open the lid into these questions and explore them in ways to get a 'bigger picture' of the whole, at least that's my effort.

 

To clarify when I use the term silly, it's within the context of what we see today with our rational minds. But to be sure, it wasn't silly to them. In fact it defined reality, and it was what they used to build their worldviews on that eventually led to growing beyond and past them into a higher understanding. To actually consider them as "stupid" or something, is frankly like you or I calling a 10 year a complete idiot. That would say more about our lack of growth and understanding than about their actual states of mind.

 

What you will see a lot of is in fact people pushing themselves forward out of that mode of thought, and part of that process of differentiating, is to define what you no longer believe. It is "stupid" in the context of for where you are emerging into, but realistically, in the grand scope of our development as human beings with evolving consciousness, it isn't stupid at all, even if it is now inappropriate to the state of our mind's awareness now.

 

Eventually, as we have shed the skin of our child-self, we put on the clothes of mature mind and build truth anew into higher light. It is continuous, and it is that very thing inside you that you recognized that is where you should look. Keep moving forward, keep open, keep growing, in knowledge, wisdom, and moreover, love.

 

Yet the typical discussion you will hear about spirituality usually equates anything in that regard to so much, new-agey "woo woo". I can assure you, that argument though valid on a certain child-level, most definitely does not rise to the table in legitimate discussion beyond that Christian-level, mythic thought, try as they will to define the discussion as no more than that.

 

Again, as a good little christian I regarded anything that was not christianity as "weird" and those who followed those practices were "weirdos." It is now that I am exploring some of those weird thought processes and talking to some of those weirdos. It is always interesting the way life works out

I actually am leaving this morning, taking a bus to Boston, to visit one of those weirdos - my sister. She lives in Boston - Jamaica Plain to be exact. She lives in a community with a bunch of weirdos and circus performers - at least, that is always how I have referred to them. Now I go to them, to see out the unknown, and they will accept me even though I have spoken so badly of them - because they can appreciate that I was brain washed before - and that now my mind is truly reborn into something that can be molded and re-molded into what I want it to be, and not in a way that will please my sky-parent and save me from spending an eternity in hell.

I smile. I just spent a couple days with a dear friend of mine in her coop home with her 'family'. It is amazing how much more in touch people can be with the truth in themselves without out the shackles of culture telling what is true and not true, good and bad, etc. Not that all is paradise, to be sure, but with her as my friend, I can say in no small measure there is a depth of soul and heart found rarely in the middle of conformity land. She is a friend of depth to me, and I value her soul which transcends all silly ideas of 'fitting in'. She does fit in - to real, reality. As I know it.

 

See beyond the shells and clothes people put on themselves and see them for the spiritual beings they are. I think you will be amazed how much love, light, and truth there is everywhere.

 

I am so glad to have found this community. In the few days that I have been a member, I have felt so comforted by the people that have responded to my comments. This is an amazing place, and you are all amazing people.

 

Sincerely, thank you for taking the time to respond - you have made more of a difference than you can fathom (and that goes for all of you out there!!)

This is very pleasing to me. I am more than willing to share what I have learned, as I would anyone to know the freedom and liberty of mind and spirit that is all of ours to realize - in whatever way brings us to that. The limits of the mind can and need to be broken in order to become that to us and from us. It's not about simply learning some new way, but a path to the limitless, infinite potentials beyond us that is fully ours to realize.

[JadedAtheist]

It seems like you have adopted some sort of new-ageism. Perhaps some research into that or a form of Paganism (Wiccans et cetera) might be right down your alley.

 

While my deconversion seems to have brought me closer to nature (I feel more of a brotherhood now with my fellow animals et cetera) I would be like RR in that I hold no spiritual views whatsoever. I don't feel a spiritual connection with anything nor do I believe or hold onto concepts like "Karma" though I wish they were true.

[Galien]

See beyond the shells and clothes people put on themselves and see them for the spiritual beings they are. I think you will be amazed how much love, light, and truth there is everywhere.

 

 

 

 

I guess we don't keep the same company Antler. I am someone who does accept people readily and see who they really are. Sadly I see a lot more shallowness and self interest than the qualities you mention.Whilst I agree the culture masks who we were born to be, most people are too afraid to let it go and see what is beyond.

[Antlerman]

See beyond the shells and clothes people put on themselves and see them for the spiritual beings they are. I think you will be amazed how much love, light, and truth there is everywhere.

 

 

 

 

I guess we don't keep the same company Antler. I am someone who does accept people readily and see who they really are. Sadly I see a lot more shallowness and self interest than the qualities you mention.Whilst I agree the culture masks who we were born to be, most people are too afraid to let it go and see what is beyond.

It's much more to the latter of what you say I was speaking. Even if people don't see that nature in themselves, and act out negatively in response where their behaviors are ugly, it is reflective of an illness, not their nature. And that's one huge reason I disagree philosophically with the Christian notion of Original Sin as handed down through Augustine.

 

What I'm suggesting is we recognize the beauty that is everyone's to have, that is in them also, if not recognized or realized in themselves. If we speak to that, it's amazing what might happen.

[FinallyFree]

I resisted doing this for days, but can no longer resist...

 

 

You are a terrestrial organism.

 

You are of the Domain Eukara implying your cells have membrane bound nuclei and organelles. Mitochondria and chloroplasts are thought to have arisen as a result of endosymbiosis.

 

You are of the Kingdom Animalia meaning general motility or spontaneous and independent motion. All animals are also heterotrophs, meaning they must ingest other organisms for sustenance.

 

You are of the Phylum Chordata implying these are united by having, for at least some period of their life cycle, a notochord, a hollow dorsal nerve cord.

 

You are of the Subphylum Vertebrata meaning you are in possession of a backbone and spinal column.

 

You are of the Class Mammalia implying air-breathing animals whose females are characterized by the possession of mammary glands while both males and females are characterized by hair and/or fur, three middle ear bones used in hearing, and a neocortex region in the brain.

 

You are of the Subclass Theria meaning live birth to young without using a shelled egg.

 

You are of the Order Primates implying ProSimian (lemurs and tarsiers) or Simian (monkeys and apes).

 

You are of the Suborder Haplorrhini meaning dry nosed.

 

You are of the Family Hominidae implying among the great apes (chimpanzees, gorillas, humans, and orangutans).

 

You are of the Genus Homo meaning human and a survivor among other extinct species such as Habilis, Neanderthals, and Flores man.

 

You are of the Species Sapien meaning knowing.

 

 

We thus name you knowing human. Go ye therefore and boogie.

 

 

Thank you so much for your response - you bring up a really good point: keep it simple.

 

[FinallyFree]

I think the reason is because you may sense something to be a certain way, but simply lack the knowledge of the various areas of study and thought in the subject matter in order to be able to articulate it, not just to others but your own self.

 

Bingo! Bullseye! Jackpot!

That statement is me in a nutshell - only I didn't know it until you said it.

 

Keep moving forward, keep open, keep growing, in knowledge, wisdom, and moreover, love.

 

I whole-heartedly agree. Even as a christian - I've always felt that love was a very powerful force.

 

I smile. I just spent a couple days with a dear friend of mine in her coop home with her 'family'. It is amazing how much more in touch people can be with the truth in themselves without out the shackles of culture telling what is true and not true, good and bad, etc. Not that all is paradise, to be sure, but with her as my friend, I can say in no small measure there is a depth of soul and heart found rarely in the middle of conformity land. She is a friend of depth to me, and I value her soul which transcends all silly ideas of 'fitting in'. She does fit in - to real, reality. As I know it.

 

See beyond the shells and clothes people put on themselves and see them for the spiritual beings they are. I think you will be amazed how much love, light, and truth there is everywhere.

 

So needless to say, my trip to Boston was amazing. We walked around Jamaica Plain quite a bit, and it was amazing how everything was full of life and color, even though most of the trees and plants were brown and dead-looking. It was a truly eye-opening experience! I am looking forward to my next trip - hopefully my husband will be able to go with me. He is also deconverting and searching for his own truth. But - the reality is, the trip costs money, and we have three children - ages 2, 6, and 7. I am currently on medical leave from work because I had a mental/emotional/spiritual (or otherwise) breakdown. My lack of spirituality was a major contributor to the breakdown. I have always been a spiritual person, and for the last several years I have been neglecting that part of myself.

 

So... it's a new time for me and my family!

[FinallyFree]

It seems like you have adopted some sort of new-ageism. Perhaps some research into that or a form of Paganism (Wiccans et cetera) might be right down your alley.

 

While my deconversion seems to have brought me closer to nature (I feel more of a brotherhood now with my fellow animals et cetera) I would be like RR in that I hold no spiritual views whatsoever. I don't feel a spiritual connection with anything nor do I believe or hold onto concepts like "Karma" though I wish they were true.

 

I very much feel a strong connection to paganism as well as wicca after my trip to Boston this past weekend. My sisters best friend has been a part of these belief systems most of her life and was very helpful in enlightening me on the topics.

 

 

 

[lunaticheathen]

We thus name you knowing human. Go ye therefore and boogie.

 

This made me smile. Even if I'm not a strict materialist, it is true. And DO boogie!

 

If you're interested, FinallyFree, I can PM you a book list to see if anything strikes a chord with you. I'm kind of a nut when it comes to studying religions, "traditional" and "non-traditional." I am one of those "weirdos" fundy christians yell about.

 

Whether or not you embrace a pagan spirituality, it sounds like you are at least an animist. Many systems have animistic beliefs, and you can keep that belief with or without the system. I agree with OF, to take your time, no rush in the world. AM is a very wise man, as you must have realized, so I recommend listening to him. And I'll tell you what I know from experience and study, whenever you want.

 

Happy trails on your journey to your Self!