Do I Have A "right" To Be Angry?

[stryper]

Do you have the right to be angry?

 

Yes you do.

 

 

I feel the more important question is "why are you?"

 

I found a philosophy after leaving the church that really helped me. On anger, the therom is all anger is the result of expressed or unexpressed expectations. This could be between people, internally, you and your car, etc. Seriously, who hasn't gotten pissed at dead battery at the worst time? You expect it to work, cause it always does.

 

 

The anger is there for a reason. Examine why and you might find more peace.

 

 

[Galien]

 

 

2). Many of the responses that thought they were disagreeing with the misrepresented argument made some mention of me being an indoctrinated Christian who was lashing out at a former Christian. This couldn't be farther from the truth. I have a similar background as pk62281. We grew up 30 miles from one another, both went to (different) state universities, and are now friends who hang out regularly. We also both grew up in similar (though no identical in intensity) religious households. I am an atheist now. I've been so for a number of years at that. In fact, if you ask pk62281, I am probably one of the catalysts of his deconversion. My entire problem with his "I'm angry at the Church" stance is that, because of its weaker logical basis, it feels like it weakens my stance that I happen to think is more logical. And by "weaker logical basis," I mean that it sounds like that of a spurned lover who is refusing to look at the situation rationally, and instead using emotion to drive his argument.

 

Thanks for reading this far if you have; I know I can be a bit wordy.

 

Read back slowly through the paragraph above, and if there is a heart beating at all inside that crappy logic of yours, try and see if for the arrogance it really is. WIth friends like you, this bloke does not need enemies.

 

Personally I am sick and fucking tired of human beings who think they have the right to tell other people what they should and should not feel. His experiences are his, not yours and he is (thankfully) not you. You have no idea what has happened inside his heart and mind, and your precious logic should tell you that before it tells you anything else.

 

Churches are full of cowards who stand by and watch people get treated like shit, know it is wrong but care more about their group acceptance than what they know to be right. Angry? I'd like to drop bombs on

 

1. Every church in the world

 

2. Arrogant fucks who think their grasp of logic makes them superior. They may as well go back to being a christian, it's just a different side of the same coin.

[ThinkingForMyself]

When I left xianity I was pissed. I missed out on a lot of living for 8+ years or so. I was angry with believing the lies, and about the time I could have spent on other things. Ultimately I believe everything in life happens as it should. The things I'm doing now that I wish I had done during my xianity days are things I wasn't mature enough to handle at the time anyways. So I'm thankful to the cult for giving me a place to go and something to do while I grew up. They do teach good moral values.

 

I say go ahead and be angry. Everyone will experience different things during and after their deconversion. You should let your friend know that relationships are two way streets. The problem isn't always with just one person. The church is a body of people. Ask him this "In saying my anger is a "me" problem are you inferring that the church is perfect?"

[FinallyFree]

Hello everyone. I was having a discussion with a friend about my past in fundamentalist Christianity. I was explaining to him how I felt angry that as a young impressionable mind and in college in the cornfields of Central Illinois, was manipulated and indoctrination into believing a bunch of harmful BS. I said there were always seeds of doubt, and was always aware of the contradictions, but I was too afraid to face those doubts and contradictions. My deconversion has also brought a lot anger towards the church, it's leaders, and my family. d

 

In a nutshell, my friend was basically saying that I really have no right to be angry at the church, and that ultimately I'm the one responsible for willingly letting that cult indoctrinate me. I know from a perspective of "moving on" I shouldn't be angry period. Forgiving and forgetting is usually the best thing in most situations. I understand that much. But where do you think the line should be drawn between making my own decisions, and the manipulative environment created by the christians around me?

 

He says I shouldn't be angry at the church and that it was always a "me" problem, not them. I told him he would never understand how powerful and effective the cult methodology is, but he wasn't having any of that.

 

This is a very complicated and abstract question I know. All I know is, I have a lot of anger from my Christian past. I see how it stunted my development as a person and stole away my college years. Is it "correct" to direct my anger at them? I put myself through that shit, but I honestly felt like I was brainwashed.

 

Thoughts?

 

Anger is a part of the deconversion process. I think everyone goes through that - I know I did. As my therapist would say () would say, you need to feel your feelings. If you are angry - that's ok, and you do have a right to be angry. Having said that - it doesn't mean that you need to stay angry forever. If you try to repress your angry, it will only grow deeper. Hope this helps

 

 

 

[DayLight]

Hello everyone. I was having a discussion with a friend about my past in fundamentalist Christianity. I was explaining to him how I felt angry that as a young impressionable mind and in college in the cornfields of Central Illinois, was manipulated and indoctrination into believing a bunch of harmful BS. I said there were always seeds of doubt, and was always aware of the contradictions, but I was too afraid to face those doubts and contradictions. My deconversion has also brought a lot anger towards the church, it's leaders, and my family. d

 

In a nutshell, my friend was basically saying that I really have no right to be angry at the church, and that ultimately I'm the one responsible for willingly letting that cult indoctrinate me. I know from a perspective of "moving on" I shouldn't be angry period. Forgiving and forgetting is usually the best thing in most situations. I understand that much. But where do you think the line should be drawn between making my own decisions, and the manipulative environment created by the christians around me?

 

He says I shouldn't be angry at the church and that it was always a "me" problem, not them. I told him he would never understand how powerful and effective the cult methodology is, but he wasn't having any of that.

 

This is a very complicated and abstract question I know. All I know is, I have a lot of anger from my Christian past. I see how it stunted my development as a person and stole away my college years. Is it "correct" to direct my anger at them? I put myself through that shit, but I honestly felt like I was brainwashed.

 

Thoughts?

 

Many people, when they grow up, are abused by some other people in some form or another. If all those people were angry at others, what a bunch of angry people we would have (and probably do have). It's a pity to see anyone abused. Life is hard and many people suffer in different ways. And while you can be angry logically speaking, I would not be angry emotionally speaking. Because it would be bad for your inner person, your Being. And it would be bad for those around you because you would be a bitter person. It's never fun to be around a bitter person. Just learn from your experience. Perhaps it will help to make you more of an independent thinker. Maybe it helped you to be morally better (maybe in some way). Surely there was something from there that might have been positive...or helpful for your future... Also, remember, those people didn't really mean harm to you. They just did what they believed was best. It's just the way it is. Sometimes people with good intentions hurt others.... and sometimes worse: people intentionally hurt others...