Jump to content

The Exorcist Upstairs


Randi
 Share

Recommended Posts

I can't believe I haven't mentioned this before. I hope you get as good a chuckle out of it as I have for the last 5 years.

 

I'll often be sitting in my office, working my life away when I'll sudddenly hear pounding, wailing, crying, screaming, yelling, etc. The first time I ever heard it, my boss came into my office with a firghtened look on his face: "Do you hear that!?" "Yeah, it sounds like someone flogging a walrus." After instructing me to call the police, my boss stepped out into the hallway to investigate. There was no sound in the hallway. He soon realized it was coming from the office directly above us. In the meantime I'm on the phone with the police explaining to them what we were hearing (Seriously, it sounded like someone was murdering someone). My boss opened the door to the office upstairs, thinking he was going to find someone being hacked to bits. :brutal_01:

 

What he found instead was a man with a bible reciting something in latin while a woman lay writhing around on the floor screaming. He said it was the most bizarre scene ever. My boss asked the gentlemen what was going on. He then replied: "This woman has been possessed by an oppressive spirit. We are casting it out. My boss: "Uh... okay. Try to keep it down then?" My boss walked back into the office (I was still on the phone with the police) and told me that it was a false alarm. After convincing the dispatcher that wasn't joking, I called the owner of our building (whom I know personally through church). I told her what was going on and she replied, "Oh yeah, he's been excorcising demons for ten years or more up there. I don't really understand what it is he does, but as long as he pays his rent." Shocked, I informed my boss that it was apparently a demon casting business. After doing some research I came across the dude's website. He apparently is one of those hardcore pentecostal types who believes that every trouble in a Christian's life is caused by demon posession of some type (financial demons, relationship demons, self doubt demons, etc.). So... I've been in this office for 5 years now, and at least once a week we can hear someone's "demons" being cast out. :fdevil: We just turn up the radio and laugh. :lmao:

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's pretty epic

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Play some black metal at full blast. Here's a start:

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's one hell of a good story! :fdevil:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Super Moderator

I'd hang a pentagram or voodoo doll on his door. But then, people do tell me I'm not right.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You have an interesting life!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You have an interesting life!

 

 

Oh no. I don't have an interesting life, I just occasionally have interesting things happen to me.

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think before he can really be a good exorcist, he needs a herd of swine available nearby. Matthew 8:28-34.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Environmental Protection Agency must be called so they can inspect the premises to ensure that the business owner has a good procedure in place for containing those expelled demons. Otherwise, they might escape through the plumbing and/or ventilation system and pollute your entire town.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Environmental Protection Agency must be called so they can inspect the premises to ensure that the business owner has a good procedure in place for containing those expelled demons. Otherwise, they might escape through the plumbing and/or ventilation system and pollute your entire town.

 

:lmao:

 

Having an exorcism business upstairs is creepy and hilarious at the same time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Environmental Protection Agency must be called so they can inspect the premises to ensure that the business owner has a good procedure in place for containing those expelled demons. Otherwise, they might escape through the plumbing and/or ventilation system and pollute your entire town.

 

We called the ghostbusters, but they're currently under investigation, since that whole Marshmallow Man incident. We've gone through several coffee pots in the last few years, presumably to demon possession. If that's the only repercussion, I think we've been pretty lucky.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We've gone through several coffee pots in the last few years, presumably to demon possession. If that's the only repercussion, I think we've been pretty lucky.

 

Bill him.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

double post

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Utter madness :lmao: ...These people are simply not sane

 

Can you get the cleaners to plant a hidden microphone somewhere in his exorcist room ? .... Im figuring maybe you could have some extra fun with that

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Get a good laugh track, maybe insert some silly farting sounds, and play it at full volume when he starts his sessions.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.