Galien Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 My ex husband said to me this morning that my tolerance for self centredness was getting less and less. Upon examination of myself, I realise that it is not so much that my tolerance has decreased. Since I left christianity I have stopped turning my frustration in to sadness and depression, but turned it into anger and frustration at idiots. I used to work for a doctor who would yell at all the nurses in a ward "why am I surrounded by idiots" and I thought how rude that was at the time. He was about the same age then I am now I am beginning to understand why he felt that way. I am not saying I am not an idiot and other people are. I have just wondered since I was about 5 why it is so hard for some people to master even basic respect for others and basic responsibility for their own actions. I am known for being a forgiving person, but I am starting to get really really frustrated at serial offenders who refuse to give a shit about anyone other than themselves. I know I cannot change others and it is not my job to, but I need to know how to bury the bodies without detection. Does it ever get to a point where this stuff will stop shitting me? These days instead of feeling constant despair at the state of the world, I just want to come out swinging. I don't understand how it is possible to make peace with self centredness because at my core I believe it makes the world a much harder place for all of us to live in. Any ideas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted March 15, 2011 Moderator Share Posted March 15, 2011 My ex husband said to me this morning that my tolerance for self centredness was getting less and less. Upon examination of myself, I realise that it is not so much that my tolerance has decreased. Since I left christianity I have stopped turning my frustration in to sadness and depression, but turned it into anger and frustration at idiots. I used to work for a doctor who would yell at all the nurses in a ward "why am I surrounded by idiots" and I thought how rude that was at the time. He was about the same age then I am now I am beginning to understand why he felt that way. I am not saying I am not an idiot and other people are. I have just wondered since I was about 5 why it is so hard for some people to master even basic respect for others and basic responsibility for their own actions. I am known for being a forgiving person, but I am starting to get really really frustrated at serial offenders who refuse to give a shit about anyone other than themselves. I know I cannot change others and it is not my job to, but I need to know how to bury the bodies without detection. Does it ever get to a point where this stuff will stop shitting me? These days instead of feeling constant despair at the state of the world, I just want to come out swinging. I don't understand how it is possible to make peace with self centredness because at my core I believe it makes the world a much harder place for all of us to live in. Any ideas? Galien,I seem to be saying 'ditto' to a lot of your posts lately, including this one. I think my tolerance level has dropped down to at least half of what it was my whole life. And I put up With a lot of shit in my life. I was a born people pleaser. Now all of a sudden in the past 2-3 years - I've really delevloped a 'mouth' for boundaries. I am still very soft hearted but I have no problem most of the time speaking up for myself. I spent a lot of years in depression also - but like you said - that is actually starting to lift!! Yay for me! I do not like, nor do I have a lot of tolerance for self absorbed people. I have customers (I am a hairstylist - 36 years of dealing with women!) that if I told them I tried to 'slit my wrists' in between their stories, they would smile and say; ''Did you?'' Some don't even hear me when I try to share a story . Then there are the emotional bullies. I do everything in my power to avoid these people now. I try to show respect most of the time, but I do not have a problem speaking my peace when someone walks over the line of 'boundaries' that I have. And I let most people know what they are. ........especially being a 'Born again' christian all my life - I felt it was my friggin'; duty to bow down to most people. No more. Maybe it's an age thing? Mid - life crises? Wisdom at 50? I don't want to fight anyone cause I don't have the energy anymore for trying to change people's opinions. I am getting more respect from people as I face and speak up to them and let them know (Family and friends) what I will allow in my life and what I won't! There - I just had a good Rant! Thanks Galien! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted March 15, 2011 Super Moderator Share Posted March 15, 2011 I am getting more respect from people as I face and speak up to them and let them know (Family and friends) what I will allow in my life and what I won't! Ah, if only more people followed this obvious and simple strategy we wouldn't hear so much whining from self-made victims! Also, I do believe age affects one's bullshit tolerance limit. We are born with a finite bullshit receptacle and over the years it simply fills up! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator buffettphan Posted March 15, 2011 Super Moderator Share Posted March 15, 2011 Also, I do believe age affects one's bullshit tolerance limit. We are born with a finite bullshit receptacle and over the years it simply fills up! 'splains a lot about me lately.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 I am getting more respect from people as I face and speak up to them and let them know (Family and friends) what I will allow in my life and what I won't! Ah, if only more people followed this obvious and simple strategy we wouldn't hear so much whining from self-made victims! Also, I do believe age affects one's bullshit tolerance limit. We are born with a finite bullshit receptacle and over the years it simply fills up! This is what one of my managers at work thinks. He is 52 and says his bullshit receptacle ran out about 48 I stopped allowing my mother to visit about 4 years ago for the same reason. My family members do NOT like the change in me since I stopped letting them walk all over me. My daughter told me that before I was loveable and now I am hateable because I don't cater to her every need. I told her sorry baby you are 21, its mummy's turn now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sybaris Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Does it ever get to a point where this stuff will stop shitting me? These days instead of feeling constant despair at the state of the world, I just want to come out swinging. I don't understand how it is possible to make peace with self centredness because at my core I believe it makes the world a much harder place for all of us to live in. Any ideas? You can't change your friends but you can change friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherJosh Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 My girlfriend is counselor for a private practice and is a clinician at the state prison, and after years of doing it, she realized most people even after years and years of therapy almost never change, people are who they are. Some people can grow, mature and change but that is who they are, people geared towards being more introspective and self aware. I've known many people in life who's only thought were on what to eat next, who to screw next, who to drink with etc... Never anything deeper or risky to their own self, for many it's all instinctual. Honestly, I am fairly cynical when it comes to others, I have a few very close good friends and that's about it, whereas I know people who have a ton of friends but no really close ones. I get pissed and call at least one person on the drive home a fucking retard, but hey it's all about just starting to be laid back and enjoying the little things in life when you can. At least that's how I see it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue elephant Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Galien When I read your first post that started off this thread, I thought "Does this woman have teenage children?" Lo and behold, you do! Teenagers walk all over our boundaries! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyChef Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Hi Gailen, In the words of Ron White..."You can't fix STUPID". Stupidity is a symptom of those who are self-centered,we cannot repair others as we do machines."me first syndrome" What you need is a good dose of what we Paramedics call "stupid relief".Check out darwinawards.com Tons of laughs,because that is all we can do to insulate ourselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 We are born with a finite bullshit receptacle and over the years it simply fills up! Actually, we are born with bullshit cartilage, which wears down over the years leading to an arthritic-like condition called curmudgeonitus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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