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Goodbye Jesus

Song re-writes


Merlinfmct87

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I always toy with lyrics in my head, juggling around the words a little. Most of the time, I can't do much better than the original artist(I only tweak one or two lines) but I haven't actually sat down to write down all the changes I'd like to pull off.

 

So, I thought I'd start a thread here with one of my favourites... Thunder Road.

 

The screen door slams

Mary’s dress sways

Like a vision she dances across the porch

As the radio plays

Roy orbison singing for the lonely

Hey that’s me and I want you only

Don’t turn me home again

I just can’t face myself alone again

Don’t run back inside

Darling you know just what I’m here for

So you’re scared and you’re thinking

That maybe we ain’t that young anymore

Show a little faith, there’s magic in the night

You ain’t a beauty, but babe you’re alright

Oh and that’s alright with me

 

You can hide `neath your covers

And study your pain

Make roses from your lovers

Throw crosses in the rain

Waste your summer praying in vain

For a savior to rise from these streets

Well now I’m no hero

That’s understood

All the redemption I can offer, girl

Is beneath this dirty hood

With a chance to make it good somehow

Hey, what else can we do now?

Except roll down the window

And let the wind blow

Back your hair

Well the night’s busting open

These two lanes will take us anywhere

We got one last chance to make it real

To trade in these wings on some wheels

Climb in back

Heaven’s waiting on down the tracks

Oh-oh come take my hand

Riding out tonight to case the promised land

Oh-oh thunder road, oh thunder road oh thunder road

Lying out there like a killer in the sun

Hey I know it’s late we can make it if we run

Oh thunder road, sit tight take hold

Thunder road

 

Well I got this guitar

And I learned how to make her talk

And my car’s out back

If you’re ready to take that long walk

From your front porch to my front seat

The door’s open but the ride it ain’t free

And I know you’re lonely

For words that I ain’t spoken

But tonight we’ll be free

All the promises’ll be broken

There were ghosts in the eyes

Of all the boys you sent away

They haunt this dusty beach road

In the skeleton frames of burned out chevrolets

 

They scream your name at night in the street

Your graduation gown lies in rags at their feet

And in the lonely cool before dawn

You hear their engines roaring on

But when you get to the porch they’re gone

On the wind, so Mary climb in

It’s a town full of losers

And I’m pulling out of here to win.

 

Okay, then. I'm not exactly setting the bar very high. Post your lyric spoofs! :grin:

 

Merlin

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"Cry Me a River" Based on the Performance by Justin Timberlake is proud to introduce:

 

"Buy Me Some Dinner" by yours truly :grin:

 

This is so dumb

This is the worst

And I didn't know you could even burn stew, no

So you broke the cans

And melted the pans

I don't even think that I can get this stuff down, no

 

You don't have to blame it on the fridge,

I already know, you can't cook worth shit

Now there's just no way that we can eat, that kind of meat

And don't you think that chicken's had it

 

You turned on the oven

But why did you leave it on so long?

Now you tell me you'll feed me

But I think you've got it all wrong

Boy I refuse, you must have been confused

To ask me why

It's your fault it burned, so now it's your turn

To buy, buy me some dinner

Buy me some dinner

Buy me some dinner

Buy me some dinner, yeah yeah

 

I know that they say

That it's really the thought that counts

It's not that hard to open a bloody tin and you know it

(Don't act like you don't know it)

All of the bread you used was mouldy

And stale in large amounts

(stale in large amounts)

and the pickerel, you see,

well you have to debone it

(choke)

 

You don't have to blame it on the fridge,

I already know, you can't cook worth shit

Now there's just no way that we can eat that kind of meat

And don't you think that chicken's had it

 

You turned on the oven

But why did you leave it on so long?

(on so long)

Now you tell me you'll feed me

But I think you've got it wrong

(I really hope you got it wrong)

Boy I refuse, you must have been confused

To ask me why

(I just can't eat this, baby)

It's your fault it burned, so now it's your turn

(it's your turn)

To buy, buy me some dinner

(go on and just)

Buy me some dinner

(yes you must)

Buy me some dinner

(Baby go on and just)

Buy me some dinner, yeah yeah

 

Oh

(Oh)

The sandwich is done

So I guess I be eatin'

x4

 

You don't have to blame it on the fridge

(Don't have to blame, the poor fridge)

I already know, you can't cook worth shit

(Just cough up the dough, uh)

Now there's just no way that we can eat, that kind of meat

(No way, nuh uh)

And don't you think that chicken's had it

 

Buy me some dinner

(Go on and just)

Buy me some dinner

(Maybe some Taiwanese)

Hope they deliver

(You can order for us)

Buy me some dinner, yeah yeah

 

Buy me some dinner, oh

(Buy me, Buy me)

Buy me some dinner, oh

(Try Greek, Try Greek)

Could your wallet be thinner?

(Why me, Why me)

Buy me some dinner

(Buy me, Buy me)

 

:yum:

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:lmao:

 

Damn! :twitch:

 

:lmao:

 

 

Okay, then. I'm not exactly setting the bar very high.
That's okay, Merlin. Cerise took care of that for ya. :HaHa:

 

:lmao:

 

 

That was great, Cerise! :grin:

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"Buy Me Some Dinner" *snrk* :lmao:

 

Damn, and the only song I've filked so far is, like... phew, six pages long. Not sure you folks want me posting that monstrosity here... :HaHa:

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:lmao:

 

Damn! :twitch:

 

:lmao:

Okay, then. I'm not exactly setting the bar very high.
That's okay, Merlin. Cerise took care of that for ya. :HaHa:

 

:lmao:

That was great, Cerise! :grin:

 

^^^^^ What he said!!

 

Merlin

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My friends and I did try to rewrite "Jesus Christ Superstar" as a one man play.

 

When we get to the part:

 

"Crucify Me!, Crucify Me!, I am dangerous..."

 

We're usually shown the door. :HaHa:

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One I did back around 2000, when the Napster/Metallica brouhaha was going full swing, which ended up getting linked on fhe front page of slashdot.org the day after I posted it, to my utter astonishment.

 

Napster of puppets

 

End your cash-in play

R. I. double A,

I'll find your song's reproduction

Songs compressed but clear

Sucking bandwidth dear

Reading in your search instruction

Listen you will see

freedom's all you need

I'm dedicated to

how I'm freeing you

 

Downloading faster

The way is Napster

Your songs burn faster

No pay with Napster

Napster

 

Napster of puppets I'm stealing your song

Unwilling, you're mine! I know that it's wrong

Robbed blind by me, you can't sell a thing

Just type my name, and I'll find your song

Napster

Napster

Just type my name, and I'll find your song

Napster

Napster

 

Never have to pay whoever you betray

Now your song's becoming clearer

Slain monopoly, virtual enemy

Got your next hit from a mirror

Listen you will see

freedom's all you need

I'm dedicated to

how I'm freeing you

 

Downloading faster

The way is Napster

Your songs burn faster

No pay with Napster

Napster

 

Napster of puppets I'm stealing your song

Unwilling, you're mine! I know that it's wrong

Robbed blind by me, you can't sell a thing

Just type my name, and I'll find your song

Napster

Napster

Just type my name, and I'll find your song

Napster

Napster

 

Napster, Napster, where's the song that I've been after?

Napster, Napster, tell me where it lies

Laughter, laughter, of those you would go after,

Laughter, laughter, laughing at your cries

 

Rip me!

 

Is it worth all that? Napster's where it's at!

Why spend a dime without a reason?

Never spending pays! Thrift a hundred ways!

Might be crime but it's so pleasin'

 

I will not deny!

I will help supply!

I will download you!

Now they hear you too!

 

Downloading faster

The way is Napster

Your songs burn faster

No pay with Napster

Napster

 

Napster of puppets I'm stealing your song

Unwilling, you're mine! I know that it's wrong

Robbed blind by me, you can't sell a thing

Just type my name, and I'll find your song

Napster

Napster

Just change your name, and I'll find your song

Napster

Napster

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  • 3 weeks later...

I've always thought that Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

needed a song pardoy. Not this one but...

 

Based on Smash Mouth's performance of All-Star, I would like to present:

 

All Scar - A Harry Potter Filk Tribute

 

Somebody once told me to watch out for Lord Voldy,

he ain’t exactly all fully dead.

The last time I saw the bum he was lookin’ kind of glum

on the back of Professor Quirrel’s forehead.

 

Well, the car starts flying then it just starts gunning,

smashed the Whomping Willow and we hit the ground running.

Didn’t make sense not to leave with Ron,

got a detention but at least we had fun.

 

So much to do, so much to see

when you Floo into Knockturn Alley.

But Malfoy and his daddy might show;

hide in a cupboard so they won’t know.

 

Hey now, you’re a Potter, puts your specs on, go play.

Hey now, you’re a Potter, save the world now, have fame.

The Snitch that glitters is gold,

but being the hero’s getting old.

 

It’s a weird place, and they say it gets weirder.

The snake starts talkin’ but only I can hear her,

and the rest of the kids think it’s creepy.

They think I’m the heir and that I attacked Creevy.

 

And I see Snape’s patience getting thin

every time Lockheart gives him that grin.

I wish someone else could fight the Dark Lord,

but I guess the upside is I’ll never get bored.

 

Hey now, you’re a Potter, get your broomstick, go play.

Hey now, you’re a Potter, think you just might get laid?

The Snitch that glitters is gold,

but being the hero…

 

Tom Riddle once asked how I escaped in the past.

He needs to get himself a brand new face.

I said Tom, go shag yourself,

you must be cracked to ask me for help,

and then he sicced me with a giant snaaaaaake.

Well, the basilisk’s coming and it won’t stop coming,

squinched up my eyes and I hit the ground running.

Sorting Hat was of some use for once;

the sword was nice but my arm got munched.

So much for you, so much for me—

Oh wait, I’m getting saved by the birdie.

Never knew a phoenix could tow

a man and three kids up a hole!

 

Hey now, you’re a Potter, puts your specs on, go play.

Hey now, you’re a Potter, save the world now, have fame.

The Snitch that glitters is gold,

but being the hero’s getting old.

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Just after graduating highschool I worked the graveyard shift for a while. We used to sing a twist of the old JP song Livin' After Midnight.

 

 

Workin' after midnight

Slavin' 'till the dawn

Gettin' paid on Wednesday mornin'

Then I'm gone. I'm gone!

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Smashing Pumpkins

Mayonaise

 

Fool enough to almost be it

Cool enough to not quite see it

Doomed

Pick your pockets full of sorrow

And run away with me tomorrow

June

 

We'll try and ease the pain

But somehow we'll feel the same

Well, no one knows

Where our secrets go

 

I send a heart to all my dearies

When your life is so, so dreary

Dream

I'm rumored to the straight and narrow

While the harlots of my perils

Scream

 

And I fail

But when I can, I will

Try to understand

That when I can, I will

 

Mother weep the years I'm missing

All our time can't be given

Back

Shut my mouth and strike the demons

That cursed you and your reasons

Out of hand and out of season

Out of love and out of feeling

So bad

 

When I can, I will

Words defy the plan

When I can, I will

 

Fool enough to almost be it

And cool enough to not quite see it

And old enough to always feel this

Always old, I'll always feel this

 

No more promise no more sorrow

No longer will I follow

Can anybody hear me

I just want to be me

When I can, I will

Try to understand

That when I can, I wil

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Cookie Man.

 

 

 

She mixed me up last night, pre bake.

For an hour, 9PM

And I'm gonna be high

As a loaf by then.

 

I miss the bowl so much

I miss my wife

It's lonely in the oven

On such a timeless bake

 

And I think I'm gonna cook a long long time

Till timer beeps again to find

I'm not the dough they think I am back home

Oh, no!

I'm a Cookie Man!

Cookie Man! Baking in an oven in here alone.

 

And I think I'm gonna cook a long long time

Till timer beeps again to find

I'm not the dough they think I am back home

Oh, no!

I'm a Cookie Man!

Cookie Man! Baking in an oven in here alone.

 

Broil ain't the kind of place to bake cookies.

In fact it's hot as hell.

And there's no one there to mix them

If they did.

 

And all the ingredients I don't understand

It's just my job 5 days a week

A Cookie MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Cookie Man!

 

And I think I'm gonna cook a long long time

Till timer beeps again to find

I'm not the dough they think I am back home

Oh, no!

I'm a Cookie Man!

Cookie Man! Baking in an oven in here alone.

 

And I think I'm gonna cook a long long time

Till timer beeps again to find

I'm not the dough they think I am back home

Oh, no!

I'm a Cookie Man!

Cookie Man! Baking in an oven in here alone.

 

And I think I'm gonna cook a long long time

And I think I'm gonna cook a long long time

And I think I'm gonna cook a long long time

And I think I'm gonna cook a long long time

....

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Way to go, Khan!!!

 

:lmao::lmao:

:HaHa:

 

Back in High School, there was a girl in my neighborhood who somehow got the nickname "Cookie Man." Don't ask me how she got it, but it was a short-lived thing.

 

For my part, I started creating Cookie Man songs to the tune of a handful of Elton John songs.

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