Jump to content

How Can I Sneak Out The Back Door?


homospiritus
 Share

Recommended Posts

My thoughts are scattered so please bear with me.

 

When I was a little girl my bullshit detector was in good working order. Now I'm thoroughly confused. I'll tell you what I'm looking for. I'm looking for a way to create a non-theistic community in real life, not just on the internet. I'm not talking about a Unitarian church. I'm talking about something that does not include belief in God at all.

 

I want to leave the church I joined but people there will be calling me asking where I've been. I want to know why the people continue to come together for this God - the priests, bishops, consecrated people and lay people. Why? Why do they drive 20 to 40 miles from their houses to come to a place to sit and stare at a wafer, to repeat hail Marys and genuflect to a giant crucifix? Why?

 

Sometimes I want to go just to be with nice people. But I wish I could find a place where there was genuine community without all the bullshit. That's all I want.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I understand your desire. I think forming a physical group of people based on non-belief in something is a lot more difficult than forming a group based on belief in something, though. Even here, this community is formed around supporting those who are struggling with losing their beliefs. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that many people come in, get their exChristian feet under them, and then leave, never to be seen again, because they don't need the support, and what else are they supposed to do here? Talk about not believing in god? Especially if the person in question isn't necessarily a nurturing, supportive type.

 

As for getting out of your church, that's a toughie. I know a lot of us here have gotten away by growing up and moving out of parent's houses, sometimes across the country, and just not going to church ever again. Others have had to fight and claw their way out of the community. I think it's really an individual thing.

 

But despite us not being a physical community, we're here to listen to anything you need to say!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes I want to go just to be with nice people. But I wish I could find a place where there was genuine community without all the bullshit. That's all I want.

 

I think forming a physical group of people based on non-belief in something is a lot more difficult than forming a group based on belief in something, though.

 

Maybe go for a non-religious themed group? Like hobbies. If you knit, join a knitting circle. If you play an instrument, find jam sessions. There's hiking clubs, cycling clubs, etc. Find something other than belief or non-belief that you have in common with some group. It may take a little work to find the right group for you, but I've managed to get weekly social time with some awesome people that way, engaging in activities that are a whole lot more fun and fulfilling than church.

 

Edit: I fixed a typo or few.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

my personal belief is the reason people are so devoted to their faith is because they love the community. I think people are meant to live in communities of a lot of people who know and care about them and modern society has lost that. I heard a psychologist say that is why people get so obsessed with being on American Idol, because lack of community and recognition has been distorted in thinking being famous will give you that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

my personal belief is the reason people are so devoted to their faith is because they love the community.

 

Over time I've really embraced this explanation as well. It is the one that makes the most sense.

 

If we assume that a large portion of people in these churches are brain washed or emotionally coerced then we must conclude that the glue is social and community based because the tools of brainwashing and emotional coercion are by nature either directly social or transmitted by social activity.

 

When a fellow xtian (When I attended Pentecostal church) criticized another xtian by saying, "They're only here for the social activities", I was determined that I was not part of that group. I was certain I was there for god and this was true at some level. I was not a xtian only when friends were around. I tried my damnedest to make my relationship with god work. I spent a lot of time praying and reading my bible in private. And yet, when I had to leave, the hardest part was not leaving god, it was leaving the community.

 

OP - I just saw this thread. A lot of what I said on the other thread applies to this thread. No need to repeat.

 

I think if you want to connect with like minded people with a common bond then I would try getting involved in a cause or a charity that has regular activities.

 

Recently I've helped out with a Triathalon for kids and it was great fun and I met a few nice people.

 

Mongo

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There might even be an existing group of Freethinkers, Skeptic, or Humanists, etc., in your area if you could find them. The way I found the ones in my area was I googled terms like "freethinker" and narrowed my search to my area till I found an email or telephone number.

 

That was three years ago and I haven't looked back. They are quite active and get together at least once a month for brunch. Other educational and social events are organized throughout the year. One year ago, some of our group started a book club that meets every other month, in addition to the monthly brunches and other regular events.

 

Most of us attend only some of the events but my point is, the options exist to do interesting things with nice people.

 

Around the time of Winter Solstice, there is usually a party for the larger Freethinker-Humanist community of Southern Ontario. And each summer Humanist Canada has a convention with speakers and visitors from across the country, and international.

 

At the one I attended, I got the impression that one does not have to be a confirmed atheist to be a Humanist. The topics ranged across the board of the interests of the participants. Since many Humanists and Freethinkers are professionals of some sort we did not lack for educational and interesting material.

 

I'm sure similar events take place in other parts of the world where people organize around a hobby, interest, or principle other than religion. The trick is to either find a group or assemble one. Assembling one can take much time and patience but we've had exC members on here who've done it. Best of luck to you, whatever path you try.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

St Louis, MO has the ethical society....which is pretty much exactly what is says on the tin.

 

They do classes on meditation and such. But mostly they meet on Sunday's just like a normal church but instead of the usual whorship, they cover how to live an ethical life. They discuss politics and the ethics behind it.

 

There are a few of them around the country, but not many.

 

You also might try any group that claims to be Humanist. Don't be surprised though. Just like here not everyone who is an ex-c is completely non-theist or not spiritual.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry to bump an old post, but I suggest trying google to see if there is anything in your area.

 

For example, if you lived in Atlanta, try "atlanta atheist meetup" or "atlanta freethought" or something similar. The "meetup" might bring up results on meetup.com, which is a nice site for finding groups and events of all sorts.

 

I actually just googled the first example just to see, and this was the first result:

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.