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Priorities Now..


Guest end3
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Guest end3

Thought of this last night....

 

I would like to know what is your age, roughly (or not), and what is important to you at this time in your life. I guess my goal is to see if there are "stages" of priorities as we age. Kinda wanted to guage where I stood atm.....if there were any common age related priorites.

 

Priorites for me at this time are mostly geared to the future of my children....their pending "launchings" in a few years. I am 46ish. Also working on challenging myself in work ethic and behavior/morals.

 

God wise, I remain a faithful Christian, yet stand in a different place than the fundamental literalist standpoint I once had.

 

:thanks:

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I'm 20.

The ability to think about stuff around me is really just beginning. I'm working on forming my political and ethical views. Trying to figure out which philosophy of life is the best for me.

I think the truest ethical philosophy seems to be a stoic philosophy, but I am not really there yet in my life. I feel like it is more of an "old man" philosophy. I'm really looking to just experience as many different things as I can right now, and I'll worry about what comes later, later.

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I turn 54 in about a month.

 

Right now the priorities are music, writing, establishing wealth and lifelong financial security for Me and My family, and reshaping physical space to match the image in My mind (In other words, creating a low-maintenance, esthetically pleasing place to live and work).

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I would like to know what is your age, roughly (or not), and what is important to you at this time in your life.

I am 53, and in kind of a strange place, or a least it feels odd to me. My own children, ages 25 and 32, have been out of the nest for some time, but I had an early start on kids ... my fiancee is 51 but her kids are 17 and 18. So I am, for the second time, preoccupied with a transition to an empty nest. I think that will consume the next 5 years before it's complete, as there are a lot of moving parts involved.

 

My partner and I share a distaste for uprooting ourselves and moving about, although I think she is less realistic than I in thinking that we can make one more move and land where we will eventually die. That said, we both enjoy travel, and hope to do significant amounts of that while our health is still good. In the process, I would like to build up a bit of a nest egg against old age.

 

Nothing surprising here, I guess, unless you were looking for a more philosophical response. I wouldn't say the logistics of navigating through life transitions are "important" to me, but they are necessary, and end up consuming a lot of attention and bandwidth, so they get priority whether I care for them to or not. If I were living in a vacuum rather than with other human beings, I'd prefer to do other things, perhaps explore living as an expat somewhere, pursuing my software craft, writing, and thinking (probably too much for my own good), but alas, I prefer the company of a certain lass who does not want to become inaccessible to her kids. She hasn't yet figured out that they are going to reward her investment and sacrifice as a parent mostly with indifference, and until she comes to terms with that, we're going to be obliged to live somewhere they might have a snowball's chance in hell of wanting to visit during their college years ...

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I am 23

 

My priories right now are very important to me, and not even something that has to sought out, or takes me a while to think about, this is stuff that is on my mind every day. First off it starts with me. My first priority is do whatever I can to change the outlook on life, and gain a shit loaf of confidence. The next thing that builds on that, is use that and find a girl friend, one that I can talk to and be with to share things, one that she will share things back and all that. That issue right there for me, hurts me every single day, I hate being alone, I fucking hate it and the emotions connected to feeling like that, suck.

 

The third which is built within the two, which well help progress these is get a steady job. Shiity economy is not helping me. :Hmm: I have work cut out for me making a change, my friends seem to think that my confidence is going up, so I might be on a good start of this priority.

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What I a am working on (I am almost 53) is continuing to remain employed -with enough for savings to the IRA; paying off my hurricane shutters, lessening my anxiety level, my Buddhist studies and practice, learning about the care of captive salamanders so I can keep my animals properly, being more open to trying new things, actually doing stuff instead of just thinking about it, and last but not least, working on my anger.

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That issue right there for me, hurts me every single day, I hate being alone, I fucking hate it and the emotions connected to feeling like that, suck.

If you feel that strongly about it you're very likely to come at relationships (romantic or otherwise) from a place of neediness. Women's radar is very attuned to this. Young, inexperienced women (that is, women your age) may be attracted to it or at least tolerant of it initially but ultimately they see it as weakness and it ends up as a turn-off. Also, you're much more likely to put up with BS you shouldn't put up with, should that arise, as you'll live in fear of being alone again.

 

I don't like being alone myself, obviously, as I've chosen to be in a relationship, despite the requisite drama and compromises. But it's a choice / preference, not a desperate necessity. Please do yourself and the women in your life a favor and don't use a relationship to run from something you "fucking hate".

 

Sometimes if you hate being alone, what you really hate is keeping your own company. I'm not saying that's your situation, but it's something to think carefully about. If the shoe fits, and all that sort of thing ...

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What?

 

Seems like you are saying two different things at once, first you say women may see that as "needy" BUT at the same time you say you don't like being alone yourself and you are in a relationship (which in some ways you cannot relate to what I am feeling because you got it already? :Hmm: Because believe it or not I have trouble in this department of getting the girl ), what is it then because you seem to be saying two different things because you don't like being alone yourself but me, that is bad I feel that way?

 

Yes the feelings suck, I am not going to pretend they don't suck BUT there is more to it than just feeling shitty of why I want a real relationship, I have just explained this many times on here over and over again and just don't want to do it now, but I am not going to pretend that I like being "alone" but I will not let that be the main cause controlling me in a relationship either.

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I'll be 55 this year. I am retired, 100% disabled vet. My biggest concern isn't Social Security or Medicare but veterans health care and keeping ahead of inflation. If SS does not get a cost of living allowance (COLA), neither do veterans receiving compensation. i've really felt the bite of the economy over the last three years because we have not received an increase in the COLA. Govt. says there is no inflation so we cannot have an increase. No inflation but groceries and gasoline are sky-high! Fuck the economics, just give me an increase! I also consider the rising cost of taxes on property as a home owner. The govt. loves to help people get loans but it doesn't give a crap if the cost of everything goes up so high it makes affording the home mortgage payments difficult, the govt. won't help you keep your house. Then there is the rising cost of utilities. Fortunately I consider utils as part of a house payment and bought a home I can afford to heat and cool. Groceries are more of a problem than mortgage payments and utilities. We live month to month on a budget and heaven help the dumb ass that violates that budget! We make plans so we can save up money for events throughout the year. Don't make plans, don't ask for money! No exceptions unless for medical care. As long as we stay to a budget, I don't expect any dire consequences a few years from now when I am much older.

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What?

 

Seems like you are saying two different things at once ...

I think I was pretty careful to explain the difference. Re-read what I said. If you can't see the distinction then you probably aren't ready to, and that's alright.

 

I wasn't attacking you or judging you. There's nothing "bad" about any feeling you might have, though there are people even here who will occasionally imply that there is ... and there is no need to deny what you feel. Good for you that you are honest about how you feel.

 

I hope you find what you are looking for. When and if you do find it, it's worth the wait. For what it's worth, I'd say you have plenty of time. The median age for marriage had risen to 28-ish, last time I looked, and in my view, that's a good thing. I guess I just see in you someone who seems anxious and in a hurry and that's when you make dumb mistakes. I married for the first time at 19 and it was a clusterfuck. Your mileage may vary, etc. Just be careful. There aren't all that many people you can really trust with your heart.

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Thought of this last night....

 

I would like to know what is your age, roughly (or not), and what is important to you at this time in your life. I guess my goal is to see if there are "stages" of priorities as we age. Kinda wanted to guage where I stood atm.....if there were any common age related priorites.

 

Priorites for me at this time are mostly geared to the future of my children....their pending "launchings" in a few years. I am 46ish. Also working on challenging myself in work ethic and behavior/morals.

 

God wise, I remain a faithful Christian, yet stand in a different place than the fundamental literalist standpoint I once had.

 

:thanks:

 

Hey End,

 

JW is 32

My goals hmmm, Im complicated-

 

To place myself well financially to maximize my options and freedoms.

I invest money for my sons future.

I am now trying to leverage my money towards what I can DO. Not what I can HAVE. Whats the point of a nice car if it financially keeps you from going to the nice restaurant.

I guess my goal for myself is to become an RV nomad in 20 years. My goal for my son is quality time with him, and to make sure I have the ability to give him a fair shot at whatever dreams he has.

 

My options were limited. Im doing my best to insure his are not. I also want to provide a stable family for him- something I never had. Im trying to smell the roses all the way.

 

Life is a dance not a journey. There is no destination. We are suppose to sing, dance, participate, and enjoy. Im with Alan Watts on that

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I'm 21 and my priorities are to find an apartment with my BFF, find a college or technical school to continue my education, have lots of fun and lots of sex, stay healthy, eat good food, with a dash of some political activism.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Neat topic!

 

I'm 33, female.

 

Having just "launched" the child at the center of my life a couple years ago, I am focusing almost totally on myself. First time since I was fourteen. :) I feel a little torn about not having any babies of my own yet, but am kinda of burnt out, and not really feeling relationships at the moment. So, no rush.

 

Instead, I have a high focus on nurturing a circle of friends who love and support one another and share a lot of values. This is going really well. It is a mixed group of mostly families and a couple singles (of which I am one).

 

Financial stability. Erasing debt/debt mentality. I'm thinking about saving to buy a house, possibly a duplex (to rent half of).

 

Considering a major career change to work I am actually passionate about.

 

Learn Español

 

Forgot two:

 

Eat better

 

Simplify (in terms of "stuff")

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40. My priorities are to love and enjoy the people around me. I spent a lot of years being afraid of people and/or looking down my nose at them, and I'm realizing that people are all so different and interesting and not only do they enrich my life but I'm finding some people like having me around too, so I'm trying harder to be there for others even when I don't feel like it.

 

I'm trying to raise kids too, and sometimes feel like I have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to be doing, so my other priority is to help them find their way in life and know they are loved and supported.

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Good question End.

 

I'm 51. What is reality for me now is to pull all the bits together of learning life and just ground them and open them freely. To be at peace, fulfilled in whatever it is at the moment.

 

As for stages of life, this is interesting. I've had these thoughts lately that in a sense I can sort of look across my life as having lived 'other lifetimes'. It's like reincarnation, except as the person I was born with this name and family. Each stage I interacted with the world through those sets of eyes, and each stage was full reality to me. Every stage following built on it, and the world was true and real to that stage. I lived many lives, and I remember them all. They were all me, yet a younger me seeing the world and living the world through those eyes. Same as today.

 

As for relationship with religion, I feel I've come into what I've sought through the years of youth, freeing it into something real, natural, deep and lasting in life, more like breath. Of course there is always yet another way to look at it, yet another opening of these eyes, but I'm long past looking to external voices for answers.

 

It's a good time of life. For that I'm happy.

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