Jump to content

Why I Am Here


notaxtian
 Share

Recommended Posts

About two years ago I visited Beliefnet.com, which has a section called "Discuss Seventh Day Adventism". I read several posts by Ray Garton, a former adventist who now writes horror novels. He mentioned his unpleasant experiences in adventism, and a few other posters said that he was "just bitter because a few people treated him poorly" and that he was "spreading lies about the church". A few months later I visited formeradventist.com, where posters mention their own experiences and how they escaped, but they still believe in God. Even though I am happy for them, they still quote scripture, which makes me uncomfortable. They say things like "Jesus is our Sabbath rest" or "We rest in Jesus". Earlier this year I visited atheistoasis.com and learned that Ray Garton is now an atheist. I still visit that site occasionally. I finally mustered up the courage to register two weeks ago. I figured if he had the courage to speak of his experiences, why can't I give it a try?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

About two years ago I visited Beliefnet.com, which has a section called "Discuss Seventh Day Adventism". I read several posts by Ray Garton, a former adventist who now writes horror novels. He mentioned his unpleasant experiences in adventism, and a few other posters said that he was "just bitter because a few people treated him poorly" and that he was "spreading lies about the church". A few months later I visited formeradventist.com, where posters mention their own experiences and how they escaped, but they still believe in God. Even though I am happy for them, they still quote scripture, which makes me uncomfortable. They say things like "Jesus is our Sabbath rest" or "We rest in Jesus". Earlier this year I visited atheistoasis.com and learned that Ray Garton is now an atheist. I still visit that site occasionally. I finally mustered up the courage to register two weeks ago. I figured if he had the courage to speak of his experiences, why can't I give it a try?

 

Hi notaxtian! So great to have you with us. I love reading and listening to all the stories. I have hung out here on EX-c for awhile now, reading and posting. These wonderful friends have helped me so much. Meanwhile, I can't call myself an aaaa -theeee - isssst yet. I have been searching for some 'version' of a creator that makes sense to me, but the more I hear of god and his ways and his words and his will...................... From all versions of 'soft' christianity to new agers - the less I believe. I do call myself a 'non-believer' right now.

 

Life makes more sense to me without the big god in the sky. The whole puzzle of life just came together for me.

I don't have to ask anymore: 'why god, why god, why god..... would you allow this'?????

 

I remember having a friend who was a 7 day adventist and I was a full, fledged born again christian, filled with the holy spirit. She tried sooooo hard to convert me. She told me I was 'on the right path' - but not quite................ I'm glad I didn't give in, cause I don't like vegetables all that much.........and I always tended to sin on Saturday..........:shrug: then repent on Sunday.

 

Looking forward to more of your posts.:grin:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A few months later I visited formeradventist.com, where posters mention their own experiences and how they escaped, but they still believe in God. Even though I am happy for them, they still quote scripture, which makes me uncomfortable. ..... I figured if he had the courage to speak of his experiences, why can't I give it a try?

 

notaxtian I'm glad you that you have chosen this place to "speak the truth" of your experiences!

 

My experience has been that when I muster the courage to "tell my story" something unexpected happens. Strange as it may seem, self-knowledge begins with self-revelation. "We don't know who we are until we hear ourselves speaking the drama of out lives to someone we trust to listen with an open mind and heart!" (Sam Keen)

 

To tell someone how things are with me, in a mysterious way, tends to "hollow me out" in such a way as to make me "fit" to listen to the experiences told by others. Speaking our "truth" to others remains the best way we storytelling animals have to overcome our loneliness, develop compassion and create community!

 

Recently I have been aware of a growing presence of silence within me. There are moments when the interior dialogue ceases, when judging, analyzing, comparing, synthesizing, etc., slow to a halt and quietness infiltrates my consciousness. Nothing calls for an explanation, no words are necessary to complete an otherwise incomplete situation. Things are what they are and I am too involved in wondering at them to question why they are as they are. I am even less inclined to talk about them.

 

In such moments I am struck with the poignancy and wonder of being alive, and less inclined to talk about god or about theology. I find myself unwilling to speak about what is "sacred" to me. It seems a sacrilege to talk about god, to patter on as if I knew what I was talking about, to gab and gossip about the attributes and experiences of life as if I had some secret knowledge of the ultimate mystery we call living.

 

I prefer to refer to my present philosophical position as trustful agnosticism. I remain ignorant about the totality which is my ultimate context. I accept my life in wonder as a gift to be enjoyed and lived responsibly!

 

Like my mentor Sam Keen I am in desperate need of discovering new ways to say "Take off your shoes--you are on holy ground; Allow Silence, you are in the presence of a sacred mystery!"

 

"God talk," theology,scripture quoting, all seem trivial and "uncomfortable!"

 

"Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold you own....." RUMI

 

Welcome!

 

saner

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for your responses. I'm not sure if I intended for this to be a story, but I just wanted to give everyone here some background. I was raised SDA, so I understand what posters on formeradventist.com and Ray Garton say on adventism. I remember hearing about the Sunday Law and "soul sleep". Reading posts on this site gave me some comfort, but I wasn't sure if anyone would REALLY understand what I went through.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To me some posters at Beliefnet.com seemed to be less civil. There seemed to be more of a "I'm right and you're wrong" attitude. Posters at formeradventist.com, on the other hand, seemed to be more civil toward each other and they were able to describe in detail their experiences. Some I could relate to, some not, but in general our experiences were similar. I guess what I am trying to say is...I know that everyone has different experiences and won't see things the same way I do, but I still continue to visit even though I disagree with their beliefs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess what I am trying to say is...I know that everyone has different experiences and won't see things the same way I do, but I still continue to visit even though I disagree with their beliefs.

 

The only person(s) who can totally understand what you've gone through would be another ex-SDA that was raised in it. When I was an Adventist (after being raised a liberal Catholic and before becoming a non-denominational evangelical) I spent most of my time with SDAs who were raised in the church. I also spent some time in self-supporting institutions. I got a taste of what they experienced from all their stories and being close with their families. Like in any other Christian denomination, I knew good, bad, and just plain weird people. It was quite an experience!

 

I would think it a good thing for you to peruse this site, and get to know other perspectives. There are intelligent people here from a variety of backgrounds. The problem with growing up in a subculture like Mormonism or Adventism, is one misses the experience of diversity. It's sort of like growing up in a small town, and never getting the opportunity of living in a large city with people from all over the world. That's what was in the back of my mind as an Adventist. The "world" (people of differing beliefs and cultures)was made to be a scary and unsafe place. They were too sheltered IMHO.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess what I am trying to say is...I know that everyone has different experiences and won't see things the same way I do, but I still continue to visit even though I disagree with their beliefs.

 

The only person(s) who can totally understand what you've gone through would be another ex-SDA that was raised in it. When I was an Adventist (after being raised a liberal Catholic and before becoming a non-denominational evangelical) I spent most of my time with SDAs who were raised in the church. I also spent some time in self-supporting institutions. I got a taste of what they experienced from all their stories and being close with their families. Like in any other Christian denomination, I knew good, bad, and just plain weird people. It was quite an experience!

 

I would think it a good thing for you to peruse this site, and get to know other perspectives. There are intelligent people here from a variety of backgrounds. The problem with growing up in a subculture like Mormonism or Adventism, is one misses the experience of diversity. It's sort of like growing up in a small town, and never getting the opportunity of living in a large city with people from all over the world. That's what was in the back of my mind as an Adventist. The "world" (people of differing beliefs and cultures)was made to be a scary and unsafe place. They were too sheltered IMHO.

Thanks for responding. I grew up in an adventist subculture, and I wasn't exposed to other beliefs until I was a teenager. I can relate to what Ray Garton says about growing up in that subculture. It's like he REALLY understands what I went through.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.