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Goodbye Jesus

Preacher Has Drive-through Church


hereticzero

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How do they pass the offering plate? Must be a drive up box or something like that. You can bet on it.

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I posted on their reply box that they should put in a booth like a 'toll-booth' where people can toss their change into the basket either coming in or going out of the parking lot.

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Fur $200 you get a glass of wine, some bread and your very own holy water in a Jesus bottle.

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Have a dunking booth for baptismal. Three balls for $5. If they miss hitting the target in three shots and you don't drop into the water, you're going to hell with the rest of us!

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For some reason I recall a member of this site using the term "Pastor Butthead" a few times....and I feel compelled to use it here.

 

So Pastor Butthead has found a way to rake in the dough without his braindead followers even having to get their lazy asses out of their cars eh? Splendid. How wonderful that spoiled rotten American sheeple can blow more fuel and money on yet another pointless, unnecessary product without having to even get off their asses. There's people starving and dying of lack of basic needs for survival all over the world....but some lazy ass Americans who might otherwise be....too uncomforable to accompany their fellow brainwashees in a more "formal" environment where they are supposed to be supportive of one another....now have the avenue of a completely cut-off from social interaction (with their own kind) to get a fix of their feel-good, who-cares-about-anyone-else mindfuck. Just wonderful....

 

I'm sorry, but I imagine every single person who attends such a sercive would be a polished example of the greatest truds humanity has yet to produce. 10 bucks says half of the attendees are just sitting there drinking Bud and chucking the empties at their frazzled wives....

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Have a dunking booth for baptismal. Three balls for $5. If they miss hitting the target in three shots and you don't drop into the water, you're going to hell with the rest of us!

 

Indeed. If we are going that direction, let's have A COMPLETE carnival huckster atmosphere.

 

Ugh. Christianity how far you have fallen on the aesthetic level! From the wonders of Chartres cathedral and the Hagia Sophia to this..

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"It has been an effective way to reach people who are very skeptical about religion.

 

Yup, them varmints can be skittish. If you try and coax 'em through a door, they run away. But perhaps if you give them a good get-away byuns lett'n sit behind their car wheel, they'll just be draaaawn in, praise the lawd!

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HONK FOR JESSSUUSSS!:vent:

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The Outer Banks has a drive-through beer store. Since salvation is almost as important as beer, I don't object to this at all.

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@ro-bear: When I was a kid in Minnesota, on some Sundays we took a drive north into Canada and would pass a small town with one church on main street. Around 11:00am the parking lot was full of cars and when we returned around 1:00pm all the same cars were directly across the street at the town's only bar!

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@ro-bear: When I was a kid in Minnesota, on some Sundays we took a drive north into Canada and would pass a small town with one church on main street. Around 11:00am the parking lot was full of cars and when we returned around 1:00pm all the same cars were directly across the street at the town's only bar!

 

 

Hmmm...which explanation do I prefer?

 

1. They were researching sin as part of a Sunday School homework assignment.

 

2. They were trying to make their confessions for next week more interesting for the monseignor.

 

3. They were all ordering pop in an attempt to gradually wean the business from selling intoxicating liquors.

 

4. They were gang-witnessing to the one walk-up Sunday patron.

 

5. All or some of the above.

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http://abcnews.go.com/US/texas-pastor-launches-drive-church/story?id=14407923

 

Jesus has a drive-through. I've heard of drive-ups before.

This is not a New Thing under the sun. The now-bankrupt Crystal Cathedral out in LA, was originally founded by Dr Robert Schuler as a drive-in church. I am not sure, but I think it still had a drive-in component to the bitter end. I believe he claimed to have originated the concept. He did pretty well by it; the had a huge five manual pipe organ and other extravagances for years and years. It wasn't until he approached retirement and started turning things over to his son that things started to tank, although I'm not sure that's the reason. Haven't bothered to follow it.

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Something tells me that there won't be roller girls in short skirts serving burgers.

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This ain't no worse than televangelists. Don't even gotta leave your couch for those guys.

 

Many movie theaters around here have some sort of "televangelist" thing where church is on the movie screen. Don't know much about it other than the ads.

 

So when you can't afford your own television channel or movie screen I guess you get the suckers to sit in a parking lot and listen to your dumb-ass on the radio for about an hour or so. If you get lucky enough you'll climb the ladder to one of these other things.

 

mwc

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Something tells me that there won't be roller girls in short skirts serving burgers.

 

If there were I would consider attending church again.

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As far as church goes, I don't think it's such a bad idea.

 

I go to church on holidays with my parents and if I had the choice, I would choose drive-up church over traditional church any day. Better seats, plus you don't have to shake hands with strangers and pretend to be happy to see them. And most importantly, the pastor wouldn't expect you to "stand for the reading of God's word." Of all the church rituals, that is the one I find most maddeningly illogical. Since when does body position have anything to do with anything??? It makes no fucking sense!!

 

So yes, staying in my vehicle would make the experience more tolerable for me.

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When I die, I know heaven will have recliners with built in tv remotes. Got to be better than cable!

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