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Was Talking About Church?


Noumena
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My husband and I.. We were talkin' about church and the Bible the other day. He talked about how for some people it is nice to get together and sing and just be around other people. And I told him about an old man I used to "know" (as far as any child can "know" someone) that I remember was very kind to me. We attended the same First Baptist Church. He always sat in a pew all by himself...although everyone was kind to him and seemed to love him.... no one sat by him...perhaps they knew he just liked sitting alone? I sat by him and talked to him a few times. I felt some sort of connection with him. I remember feeling sad cause he was alone, in a pew, all by himself. And I remember the day he wasn't there....He was ALWAYS there on Sunday. Why wasn't he there?...well..of course he had died. And I was sad. When I was thinking about all of this....all a sudden I got really upset and told DeGaul, "I feel like you are trying to paint some beautiful picture of church and the Bible in order to coerce me into attending church and into "believing" again". He said "No, that is not what I'm trying to do. They are still just beautiful stories." and then we talked about things like the armillary sphere.... we talked about Art and poetry and stories and how we can't deny that the Bible has beautiful poetry in it. And I said yeah..well it is beautiful poetry~~~and we agreed that it's not as beautiful as Shakespeare~~~I DO see beauty in the world as well as Horror and I told him that what upsets me the most is that in order to believe in the christian god and that EVERYTHING happens for a reason........you would have to believe that there is beauty in horror because "it is in god's will and plan" and everything happens for a reason? NO. Not good enough! THAT doesn't justify the horror for me. And I don't believe in Satan either...I like what Marilyn Manson says here....

 

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I personally only really liked socializing occasionally, i was never really one to fit in with the church crowd, and usually kept to myself (although i tried many times to fit in with the groups) I had a pretty good connection with the youth group on certain occasions, and had some pretty heart warming moments. I am like you, Noumena, in that I often hate that such touching emotions are linked with something that, simultaneously, gave me great pain.

 

What i liked most about church, in my last few years, was music with a passion and meaning behind it, something that just touched your soul (metaphorically of course) and i started to try to learn the guitar because of it. If there was anything i was "good at" it would have to have been getting lost in the feeling and flow of the music, especially some of the slower, more soulful, stuff. Also the idea of a personal connection, which also brings me warmth and resentment upon reflection.

 

Marilyn Manson is an interesting character, and i've watched his conversations and music videos before, and though i agree with some of his ideas, i think his take on things are dwarfed by an excessive amount of grotesque imagery and obsession with hate. I don't know, i just personally that even though his anger is justified, that he lets it consume everything he's supposed to be, which i don't think is healthy for anyone.

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Marilyn Manson is an interesting character, and i've watched his conversations and music videos before, and though i agree with some of his ideas, i think his take on things are dwarfed by an excessive amount of grotesque imagery and obsession with hate. I don't know, i just personally that even though his anger is justified, that he lets it consume everything he's supposed to be, which i don't think is healthy for anyone.

 

I agree. Whenever I watch interviews of him, I can't help but see him as an insecure little boy in deep pain.

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