Moderator Margee Posted December 8, 2011 Moderator Share Posted December 8, 2011 If you feel that you are totally healed emotionally - go on to the next post. This article is for those who are still working on abandonment, trust or emotional neglect issues. If you still feel like a 'loser' or not 'good enough', this article may help unlock some things for you. If you feel that you have experienced one trauma after another in your life - this article from Marlene Winell' site might help you. I see myself in this all the way through, right from my childhood. Beware-it could make you cry......... http://marlenewinell...onal-flashbacks 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asanerman Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 If you feel that you are totally healed emotionally - go on to the next post. "And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground. And ...when he lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her;" "Woman, where are those who are 'totally' healed?" And she said "sir, they have gone on to the next post!" Margee. In your link Mr. Pete Walker describes what a day of my life looks like in "flashback!" As a trusted mentor of mine once said, "the transition from alienation to trust takes place in a mili-second.” [Freedom] "Free/doom Free to die or Free to live" "Anxiety: A / void /dance" (Sam Keen) Many thanks my Canadian friend! saner Oh, by the way, that same guy that was asking about where all those who were totally healed had gone--well it is said by those who named their religion after him, that he also said, "seek and you will find, knock and ........" But, I think that he was speaking of a seeking and a knocking in a way and in a place (inwardly) that they completely misunderstood and were so afraid of finding. As for me, well, their religion lost its Wisdom Way. How sad a story! How utterly tragic! The good new is that freedom and liberation, self-hood and becoming are still for the finding! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eugene39 Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Thanks for posting this. Don't have time to read and digest it this evening. I'm not having near the trouble with flashbacks anymore, but it has taken an odd twist lately. My dad had all the old Super 8mm film put over onto DVD and gave it to us for Christmas. (I've already had the gift exchange with my side of the family.) Here's what I wrote to my uncle who left fundamentalist Christianity years ago. I don't know if it bothers you or not, but I have a little trouble watching myself on these old films. I see myself when I was so little, unknowing, and now, realizing the hell on earth that was coming as far as the doctrines that would be fed to me. It reminds me of this little video, that is hard for me to watch also. Waves of grief...is what I feel. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Thank the universe we don't know what is going to happen to us when we were small children. My goodness .. I think I am going to have a nightmare. In a way, this is a benevolent universe. We were so innocent, we had no idea what indoctrination was or what was being done to us. We thought it was right. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted December 9, 2011 Author Moderator Share Posted December 9, 2011 Thanks for posting this. Don't have time to read and digest it this evening. I'm not having near the trouble with flashbacks anymore, but it has taken an odd twist lately. My dad had all the old Super 8mm film put over onto DVD and gave it to us for Christmas. (I've already had the gift exchange with my side of the family.) Here's what I wrote to my uncle who left fundamentalist Christianity years ago. I don't know if it bothers you or not, but I have a little trouble watching myself on these old films. I see myself when I was so little, unknowing, and now, realizing the hell on earth that was coming as far as the doctrines that would be fed to me. It reminds me of this little video, that is hard for me to watch also. Waves of grief...is what I feel. OH-MY-GOD EUGENE - THAT VIDEO I'm afraid I am quite emotional right now...................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted December 9, 2011 Author Moderator Share Posted December 9, 2011 Thank the universe we don't know what is going to happen to us when we were small children. My goodness .. I think I am going to have a nightmare. In a way, this is a benevolent universe. We were so innocent, we had no idea what indoctrination was or what was being done to us. We thought it was right. And we were told Deva - to always love and forgive.......no matter what...........corinthians describes it! Perfect love.. I've never been able to do it and I have felt guilty all my life because it's never enough, never enough... It's like I've marked myself with a 'C-plus'...maybe a 'B'...... but it should be an 'A' I can't seem to reach 'A'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 OH-MY-GOD EUGENE - THAT VIDEO I'm afraid I am quite emotional right now...................... That video was amazing. And right at 2:53 they put in the double bind! That was awesome. The mind destroying double bind is the worst part of Christianity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VacuumFlux Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 I don't panic over flashbacks as much as I used to, but I still have to keep reminding myself that I really am an adult, that I really do have power, and no, I don't have to play nice with anyone who is hurting me. Giving myself permission to feel angry was a huge step to healing. But I still have work to do on remembering not to feel helpless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 Thank the universe we don't know what is going to happen to us when we were small children. My goodness .. I think I am going to have a nightmare. In a way, this is a benevolent universe. We were so innocent, we had no idea what indoctrination was or what was being done to us. We thought it was right. And we were told Deva - to always love and forgive.......no matter what...........corinthians describes it! Perfect love.. I've never been able to do it and I have felt guilty all my life because it's never enough, never enough... It's like I've marked myself with a 'C-plus'...maybe a 'B'...... but it should be an 'A' I can't seem to reach 'A'. I thought for many years that the passage in Corinthians was so beautiful. It is not attainable - not through the Christian doctrine, anyway. Of that I am totally convinced. Paul was a little crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted December 10, 2011 Author Moderator Share Posted December 10, 2011 Thank the universe we don't know what is going to happen to us when we were small children. My goodness .. I think I am going to have a nightmare. In a way, this is a benevolent universe. We were so innocent, we had no idea what indoctrination was or what was being done to us. We thought it was right. And we were told Deva - to always love and forgive.......no matter what...........corinthians describes it! Perfect love.. I've never been able to do it and I have felt guilty all my life because it's never enough, never enough... It's like I've marked myself with a 'C-plus'...maybe a 'B'...... but it should be an 'A' I can't seem to reach 'A'. I thought for many years that the passage in Corinthians was so beautiful. It is not attainable - not through the Christian doctrine, anyway. Of that I am totally convinced. Paul was a little crazy. Actually, Deva, the more I think of it tonight - the more I am deciding that some people only deserve my C-plus love!!! I give 'A'-love to the people who respect and honor my boundaries. Those are the only people I want in my life anyway!!! Those who constantly abuse my boundaries when they already know what they are............I eventually leave peacefully..........just don't want them in my life.......my A-plus love just starts to 'fizzle' out, the candle stops burning......... I don't like disrespectful people who take advantage of me! Therefore, tonight, I will not be hard on myself!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MultifariousBirdLady Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 If you feel that you are totally healed emotionally - go on to the next post. This article is for those who are still working on abandonment, trust or emotional neglect issues. If you still feel like a 'loser' or not 'good enough', this article may help unlock some things for you. If you feel that you have experienced one trauma after another in your life - this article from Marlene Winell' site might help you. I see myself in this all the way through, right from my childhood. Beware-it could make you cry......... http://marlenewinell...onal-flashbacks Thank you for this, Margee. There are some things there that I really need to work on. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChristineE Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I don't even know if this applies to me but all that stuff in the post is exactly what I want to hear and I'm now really very emotional. I can't even read it all- I have to skip parts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Coming back to this thread and reading the article - it is so true. I see myself in it. I wondered for a long time why I isolate myself. For many years I never thought there was anything wrong with my upbringing. I thought my parents were great, we always had enough to eat and everything was fine. Then I began to slowly realize the truth.. My father was unavailable, my mother had three kids only one year apart and no time or energy for all of us. She hid in her religion. My brothers constantly fought with me in a constant competition for attention. It was far from ideal. Then several years ago I was shocked to receive a letter of apology from my mother. I threw it away in a state of denial, I wrote back denying what she said and said no apology necessary - wish I hadn't done that now. Now I think it was the most honest thing she ever said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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