Taphophilia Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 I was officially saved when I was 13 years old. Until this point I had never heard the term "Born Again." My family was Methodist by name, borderline agnostic by faith. Their official stand on God was, "We don't know if there is a god, but if there is, it's the Christian one." At first my mother was incredulous regarding my salvation. However, my mother had never gone to a Fundy church either. The church was a non-denominational charasmatic, tounge talking, slain in the spirit, penticostal kicker kind of a church. My mother, being the emontionally needy person that she is, thrived on the emotionally charged services and found Jesus herself. She doesn't understand my lack of faith. She says she had a "personal experience" when she became "saved." (She had demons cast out of her and Jesus STILL talks to her.) Therefore, she knows without a doubt that Christianity is the one true religion and Jesus is alive and well. I considered it my mission in life to tell every single person I came in contact with about Jesus. Of course, people were not really rejecting ME, they were rejecting Jesus. Though, I do have to say that I did win many souls for Christ. Most of the people were searching for SOMETHING. I understand that not all the people who convert to Christianity are insecure, emotionally needy, and looking for answers to the pain they endure in their life, but I can say that the people that I brought to Jesus fit that bill. My ex husband was a minister's son. I had very much led a sheltered life and there were more than a few things I didn't understand, like mental illness. My ex husband is a manic depressive who self medicates. Enough said about that relationship. When I was still married, I found a small church that met in a small conference room of the local community center. They were a group of people who had become disillutioned with the Baptist denomination and decided to start their own church. The people were fairly young. The pastor was a former youth pastor who was in his early thirties and the majority of the 20 or so members were his family and friends. I went to chuch every Sunday (without my husband) bringing my children, who were babies, to church. The church grew and finally bought a regular building and I went though a divorce. During my divorce a friend of mine that I worked with gave me some much needed emotional support. He was there for me when I needed him. We started spending a lot of time together, and soon realized that our feelings for each other were more than just friendship. He attended church with me and I would go to mass with him. Yes, he was Catholic. (The former Baptists had a major problem with this.) He was also a single father of two teenage boys. He had gotten married in his senior year of high school to his pregnant girlfriend and had two kids before he was 20. His ex wife had recently re married. She had been in and out of his boys life, mostly out, until she had remarried. She called the Department of Children and Family Services and reported that he was abusing his teenage boys. She was given custody and an order of protection was issued against my boyfriend. During all this drama, the ex wife found out where I was attending church and started going. They also moved to the small town that I lived in. They called the police and said that my boyfriend had violated his order of protection by contacting his son. I was there, I know what happened. My boyfriend left town to keep from going to jail and hired to a lawyer to defend himself againt the charge. Since I was there and saw what happened, I was subpeona'd to testify for him in court. My tires were slashed. I was harrassed by them and since they were going to my church they started spreading false rumers about me there. The pastor called me and asked if I would have a meeting with the ex wife and her husband to "work things out." I refused. Since I refused to have a meeting with them, I was asked to leave the church. I had attended the chruch for FIVE years. They had attended the church for three months. I would venture to say that the fact that I was a divorced single mother and they were a family with a husband who had a fairly decent income contributed to the church's decision to ask me to leave. The reason they gave me was that I was saved and the others were not. They needed the church more than I did. Soon after getting kicked out of chuch, I bought my very first computer. I started looking up Christianity, the history of the church, etc. Finding all these references to ancient pagan faiths, I was confused. I had never heard of such a thing in all of my life. Not really trusting the internet, I started requesting books from the library. I read everything I could get my hands on from secular scholarship to apologists, hoping and praying that Christianity was the truth. The apologists of Christianity used Scripture to defend the Christian faith and/or they said that Satan knew that Jesus and Christianity was down the road in human history, so it Satan who copied Christianity in the first place. Christianity didn't copy anyone! Now, this arguement made no intellegent sense to me. I had no choice but to come to the logical conclusion that Christianity was untrue and Jesus, more than likely, never existed. I actually went around for a while thinking that I would go to Hell because I could no longer believe in Jesus. It has been five years since my quest to find the truth. I am more confident in my unbelief then I ever was in my faith. I have more freedom, less guilt, and I am more at peace and more comfortable with who I am. I don't have to worry about some secret sin that I have committed that I don't about. I am finally free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 The apologists of Christianity used Scripture to defend the Christian faith and/or they said that Satan knew that Jesus and Christianity was down the road in human history, so it Satan who copied Christianity in the first place. Christianity didn't copy anyone! Yes, isn't that a funny thing. Satan copied Jesus, several hundreds years before Jesus. Which means that Satan knew God's plan, ahead of time! Is Satan omniscient too? Or does God and Satan have a secret trust where God reveals his plans for Satan but not for humans? What a nice buddy he is then! And why couldn't it be the opposite, that the earlier religions are the true ones from God, and Jesus is the deception made by Satan; the copy to fool us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Taphophilia it's great to have you here. It is amazing the pain that we endure in order to find the truth. Again, welcome. BTW...I know that "philia" is the greek word for love, but I am unsure of the "tapho". I could do an internet search for the meaning but would like to hear the "why" behind your choice. 107376[/snapback] Taphophilia: a love of funerals, graves, cemeteries. I guess she is really happy to have killed and burried the dragon (religion). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 The apologists of Christianity used Scripture to defend the Christian faith and/or they said that Satan knew that Jesus and Christianity was down the road in human history, so it Satan who copied Christianity in the first place. Christianity didn't copy anyone! 107372[/snapback] Ahh yes. The old "plagiarism by anticipation" argument. That crafty ol' debil. Welcome to life, Taphophilia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted November 15, 2005 Author Share Posted November 15, 2005 It is very liberating to finally be able to organize my thoughts and explain on a forum like this my deconversion. I only ask that you forgive my spelling errors and the missed words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Checkmate Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Taphophilia: a love of funerals, graves, cemeteries. 107381[/snapback] Really? My kind of woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Checkmate Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 It is very liberating to finally be able to organize my thoughts and explain on a forum like this my deconversion. I only ask that you forgive my spelling errors and the missed words. 107478[/snapback] Don't you fret none about your grammar. We've seen some of the most awful butcherings of the English language, and yet we manage to decipher their "code." It's all good. BTW, Welcome to the forums! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnosis of Disbelief Posted November 16, 2005 Share Posted November 16, 2005 Welcome, welcome, welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted November 19, 2005 Share Posted November 19, 2005 Taph, Just read your antimony. Thanks kindly for taking time to type it, think on it, post. Hellova read, and in parts all too typical of the lubba-lubba ove daGoodeLarde shown to folks who aren't "just forkin' prefect". Welcome to Dave's House and from those of we who inhabit here. You'll find it a welcome break from churchiphobia.. kevinL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightflight Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 The apologists of Christianity used Scripture to defend the Christian faith and/or they said that Satan knew that Jesus and Christianity was down the road in human history, so it Satan who copied Christianity in the first place. Christianity didn't copy anyone! Could you cite some sources for this? I am interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted November 28, 2005 Author Share Posted November 28, 2005 The apologists of Christianity used Scripture to defend the Christian faith and/or they said that Satan knew that Jesus and Christianity was down the road in human history, so it Satan who copied Christianity in the first place. Christianity didn't copy anyone! Could you cite some sources for this? I am interested. "The Case For Christ" Lee Strobel ISBN 0310209307 "The New Evidence That Demands a Verdict Josh McDowell ISBN 0785243631 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duderonomy Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 Taphophilia, Thank you for this post. My particulars are a bit different, but I saw myself in your words in a way that I can't explain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenjaminHaag Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 Taphophilia, So, in summation...your friend has to flee the church, and the town, because of lies and slander and false allegations, you personally endure stalking, harassment, and slander of your own, and oh by the way the pain and stress of a divorce, and the church's idea of a compassionate, loving response is to...kick you out in favor of people who should be in jail. From the bottom of my heart, to the leadership of that church: Fuck you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted April 19, 2006 Author Share Posted April 19, 2006 Soon after they kicked me out of church, I badly broke my leg. I see the pastor's wife at the grocery store as my children are pushing me around in a wheelchair, so I can buy groceries, because I can't walk. My children were 7, 5, and 3. The pastor's wife asks me what happened. I explain the whole story of the toy being left where it wasn't supposed to be and I tripped over it falling down the stairs. She tells me that it must be difficult trying to care for my children with my broken leg and asks me if I have help. I say, NO, I am working, trying to take care of them all by myself and I'm in a lot of pain. I will never forget her reaction. She said with a Polyanna like optimism, "Well, good luck." and turned and walked away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 Soon after they kicked me out of church, I badly broke my leg. I see the pastor's wife at the grocery store as my children are pushing me around in a wheelchair, so I can buy groceries, because I can't walk. My children were 7, 5, and 3. The pastor's wife asks me what happened. I explain the whole story of the toy being left where it wasn't supposed to be and I tripped over it falling down the stairs. She tells me that it must be difficult trying to care for my children with my broken leg and asks me if I have help. I say, NO, I am working, trying to take care of them all by myself and I'm in a lot of pain. I will never forget her reaction. She said with a Polyanna like optimism, "Well, good luck." and turned and walked away. What a bitch. To be fair though, most of the christians I grew up with, and certainly the ones in my family would have done everything in their power to help you out in that situation. I think it just goes to show that christianity doesn't change people. If you are a heartless bitch by nature, pastor's wife or not, you will always be a heartless bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted April 19, 2006 Author Share Posted April 19, 2006 I just remembered this. I went into a domestic violence shelter to escape my ex. I hadn't gone to church for about two months trying to sort out my life. When I started going back, they were having a women's only dinner and asked me if I would come to it. I asked if I could bring some of the other women from the shelter. I was still in witnessing mode. The church or anyone failed to mention that this was a surprise dinner fpr the women in the church. They had video taped the husbands praising their wives, telling them how lucky it was for them to be married to them, then a gift from the husband was presented to the wife. Each wife excitedly and eagerly opened the gift from their husband. So, here we were escapees from really bad marriage listening to couples talk about their happy, wonderful marriages and watching happy wives get wonderful gifts. I'm still not sure what "message" they were trying to send, or if they were just that insensitive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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