Zephie Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 So Friday my dad had to be brought home because he had some issues with his heart, medication, and, according to my mom, the devil. Dun dun DUN!!! Seriously, dad went through hell last year. The job they gave him is one that he can no longer do because of the pacemaker. He experienced a total disconnect between his mind and body or something like that. This is because the doctor is scaling back his meds from depression/ptsd. My dad doesn't want to be on meds because he lives in the 50's mentally and doesn't want people to think he's a lunatic. Here's the kicker, the meds make him better. Much better. Mom wants him off the meds too because she thinks all of his problems are spiritual in nature. The devil is attacking his mind blah blah blah. So on and so forth. So she is getting together with members from the church to stage a "spiritual intervention" for the family. This scares me and pisses me off. For one, dad's problems are not spiritual. He is afraid and after what happened to him last year, I don't blame him. I would be terrified too. Shit, after the way my ex-fiance acted the last time I saw him, I still get nervous going into public places...so I can only imagine what my dad feels when he goes to work at the same place he lost his hand at. Secondly, dad's psychiatrist began to wean him off of the meds he was taking for depression/ptsd while I can't claim to know how the Dr. works, I do know that the body is going to react. This was simply dad's reaction. The environment at home has gotten toxic. Mom grills dad over everything. She's rude to him and he doesn't deserve this. I mentioned to her that perhaps he should go back to school and she went off about how he got stupid and what not. Personally, I didn't see that. I saw my dad feeling good about himself and using his mind. Oftentimes, my mom mistakes confidence for arrogance. So with that said, something is going to change soon. For myself, I am moving out this weekend and into my friend's house. He has a 2nd room and things are hopefully going to be better. He is the sweetest man I've met. Sadly, although my parents like him right now, once they learn he is an atheist, they will blacklist him. It sucks too. Hopefully, wishfully, they will see how happy he makes me. Mom has commented several times about how relaxed I am when I come home from his place. So yeah this paragraph...not so much a rant... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConureDelSol Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 That seriously sucks! By "intervention" does that mean they are going to cut him off from all of his meds? I can't tell you how wrong that is. That would be spousal abuse. His doctors should know what is going on and that your mom is trying to convince him to not take his meds. If I misinterpreted though, disregard all that. It's good you are getting out of the house. Does your friend know he might be blacklisted? It might be a good idea to warn him, if not. Hopefully, the fundie drama in your household won't reach you quite as often and let you live your life. Honestly though, even if I was away, I would worry about my dad if he was trapped alone with your mother based on the way she acts. I hope that doesn't become an issue for you. I would suggest writing a letter to your mother, telling her how you really feel about all this, but I don't know if you're ready for that or not or if she'd even be open enough to listen. I suppose I'm lucky my parents aren't THAT crazy. My mom is a nurse so my family values medicine quite a bit. I wish I could send my mom over there and knock some sense into yours. Granted, she's still a Christian and a sheep and all that, but you know what I mean. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Both of your parents need to learn that, just as the body can get sick or break, so too can the mind. We wouldn't leave a broken bone unplastered. In the same way, a sick or broken mind shouldn't be untreated, either. I am so sorry to hear you and your family going through all of this. And you're right- your dad doesn't deserve it. The only thing that I can think of that may be beneficial to him is an online support group for sufferers of PTSD in particular, so he can read the stories of others and hopefully realise just how normal and understandable his experiences are. Also, it may help to gently point out to him that god created doctors and tablets to help him, and perhaps it is god's will that he uses the help that he has provided rather than make his own life more difficult. It might be worth a shot. I'll look into some mental health forums for you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I found this one, Z. It deals strictly with PTSD, unlike others that just have a little section for PTSD. https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/portal/ EDIT to add: I think it may be beneficial for you to have a look around the forum, too, to get some support in dealing with your dad's PTSD. because they make a good point on the first page about PTSD affecting not just the sufferer, but their family, too. If your dad won't look at it, maybe print out some stories for him to listen to. It's important that he realises how normal it is for him to be experiencing these symptoms. Also, PTSD doesn't usually get better on its own. It may never fully leave him, but he can learn to live with it, gain some control over it, and take the power it has over him back. I've lived with PTSD for a long time. Some days are just going to be bad days, that's all there is to it. I'll probably never stop locking all the doors in my car at an intersection, but that's okay. It's a protective measure, it makes me feel safe, and little things like that aren't harming anyone. So you can learn to live with PTSD. The important thing is acceptance, first and foremost. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ro-bear Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 As soon as I hear the word "spiritual", little red flags go up all over the place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dyanaprajna0 Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I hope it doesn't come down to this, but I think there are legal actions you can take to put a stop to some apparent spiritual authority taking him off his meds. We see similar stories all the time in the news here, especially with the jehovah's witnesses. It's probably become apparent that your mom is not going to listen to reason. So a legal venue may be the only thing that helps, if it comes to that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephie Posted March 19, 2012 Author Share Posted March 19, 2012 I don't know that they are going to try to convince him of that. After all they wouldn't tell my mom to get off of her diabetes meds and these are just the same. I think...think...that this meeting is going to be prayer and annointing. I was able to have a talk with dad about how the meds help him and that's not a stigma anymore to take them. He is part of an online support group for amputees and I know he is on there every now and again. @Pudd...I am going to e-mail him the link to this forum as well as check it out for myself. @CDS my friend is aware of the fundy craziness going on and has told me he will be as vague as he needs to be with my parents. I do want to write a letter and then maybe in a few months "come out" to my parents about my atheism/agnosticism. Mostly the letter is for my reference when I talk to them as I quite often lose my thoughts during any type of conflict. Thankies ya'll. I don't think my dad will get off his meds simply because he thinks the Dr.'s word is law so I am grateful for that. If I need to, I will explain to my mom that "god made the Dr.'s and gave them the knowledge" and all that if I need to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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