LoneTarus Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 I just wanted to introduce myself I hope this is the right forum to do this in. I hope the name i chose isn't too lame but I had real trouble thinking of one last night. I've been reading Ex-C for about a year. I got involved with Christianity (initially a split off group from the Assemblies Of God) about 5 years ago When I was in Jail. I wanted to believe and I basically dived into it head first. I have a problem though. I like to read too much, I actually read the bible and read about church history. I even studied Judaisim. I did all of this with the assumption that the christian world view was true. More and more it just didn't add up and I realized that I was part of something that was every bit as bad as radical islam. (true its not as violent as islam but I would wager it destroys just as much lives and in particular the dominionists that I have run into scare me just as much as anyone that would want to set up an islamic government). I wasn't really being true to myself and I found that I just ended up feeling dirty after going to church in the last few months. So i pretty much dropped out all together. I don't consider myself an atheist and I do lean more towards a deist god rather than a christian view. (more of a watch maker/archetect) and I hope that if he does indeed exist he is nothing like what the bible really says he is like. If there is an accounting at all I think the religious fundamentalists will have the most to answer for. The only thing I know for sure is that I just don't know anymore what to believe but I know I can't in good Conscience continue to be a part of christianity. I don't have any friends local to me other than people I know through the church. and I'm not really sure if I should come out to them or not because it seems like it would just cause problems for me and they wouldn't really be able to grasp my reasons for leaving anyway. (I've also found myself feeling really angry at some of them for how stupid and ignorant they are. and mad at myself for having fallen for it and taken part in it. and even worse promoting it.... ) I don't have any place else I feel safe to vent my frustrations so that's why I joined Ex-C. I could have put this in the extimony forum but I feel I should take more time to better collect my thoughts before I make a thread there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblueep Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Welcome to EX-C LoneTarus! That's exactly what this forum is for. Vent all you want. Any you are not stupid for having believed. We all did. You should be proud that you have embraced life more rationally now. Stick around and make some friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 I got involved with Christianity (initially a split off group from the Assemblies Of God) about 5 years ago When I was in Jail. Welcome, LoneTarus! Considering that most of the time offshoots of denominations are even nuttier than what they're splitting from, I shudder to think of how much crazy there is in groups that split from the Assemblies of God, especially since I know firsthand exactly how batshit insane they are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoneTarus Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 I got involved with Christianity (initially a split off group from the Assemblies Of God) about 5 years ago When I was in Jail. Welcome, LoneTarus! Considering that most of the time offshoots of denominations are even nuttier than what they're splitting from, I shudder to think of how much crazy there is in groups that split from the Assemblies of God, especially since I know firsthand exactly how batshit insane they are. I have visited Toronto airport fellowship at least once if that gives you any idea what these people are into. I drifted around between various denominations in town, christian missionary alliance being one of the ones I did like more than most but they closed their doors soon after I joined). One of the contributing factors (and there were many) to me leaving the fold is just how much the church is a dying institution that is a relic of the past. I was the only one in my age group in pretty much any church I attended (aside from people forcing their children to attend). I really had nothing in common with these people and for most it was pretty clear they never gave much thought about their religion or read the bible for themselves. I met a few people that were exceptions of course but for the most part I saw a lot of stuff that was just plain insanity and a lot that was seriously emotionally and mentally damaging. Over christmas I spent a few days with a group that most people would call a cult. I won't mention their name or location since I actually like the guy that runs it and feel he has good intentions. regardless of that I figured out on that trip that Christianity is a self perpetuating form of brainwashing and mind control. and for the most part the people that spread it have no idea of that fact. I think if most people were to stop going to church for a long enough period of time they would start to see the world as it really is. I feel that most worship services and bible studies are there in reality to re-enforce the brainwashing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelHappy Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 I considered myself a deist for a while, but then I realized my deist god was really just my agnostic hope for an afterlife. Not saying that a deist view is wrong, I kind of think its the most sane one, don't know if I agree with the though of the designer/watchmaker, I find the world makes complete sense if there is no watchmaker, but its hard to understand if there is one (only my opinion). Anyways welcome, I'm a software developer myself, although Java / on windows so perhaps far from what you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Welcome LT! Make yourself at home here, settle in and make some friends! Toronto Airport Vineyard tales almost made me deconvert years back. I found the whole scene confusing and divisive. Now I think, "What a bunch of nutters!" Glad you've escaped the madness and seen the light! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 I have visited Toronto airport fellowship at least once if that gives you any idea what these people are into. Yeah, that tells me quite a bit. I know several people that went to the Toronto fellowship more than once, all the way from New Jersey. As a vacation. I know people that did this for the Brownsville revival, too. As much as I used to believe, there was never, never a time that I would waste a freaking vacation day to go to a church away from home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted April 5, 2012 Moderator Share Posted April 5, 2012 Welcome LoneTarus! It's so good to have you with us!! You have found Ex-c - the site that understands!! Looking forward to hearing more from you!! thanks for sharing your story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator buffettphan Posted April 5, 2012 Super Moderator Share Posted April 5, 2012 Welcome to Ex-C -- The Best Place On The Web! I know what you mean about this being the only safe place to vent. All the people in my real life are christians too. So Ex-C is my bit of sanity in a crazy christian world! I actually read the bible and read about church history ... I did all of this with the assumption that the christian world view was true. More and more it just didn't add up That's exactly how many/most of us got here too! You are in great company! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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