R. S. Martin Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 Cleaning up my computer's hard-drive reminds me of the confusion I went through as I transitioned away from religion. In one document I argued that secular humanism was the same as biblical truth. I had a file with documents for Progressive Christianity. I also had a file for info on Quakers. Seems I was making an exhaustive search of Christianity. I also had an online forum that consisted of fictional characters and myself. In retrospect, I realize I was working through my values. I actually found an email exchange that I had with one of those characters at the time. I also found an email--a real one this time--in which I asked the webmaster of a secular humanist website for permission to post the ten principles of secular humanism on my forums. I had no idea at the time that Secular Humanism was an organization and that basically it was atheist. All this was in 2006-2007. On July 7, 2006, I wrote on a self-evaluation test of some sort (that I also found just now) that I had tentatively left Christianity. But it wasn't until sometime in September of that year that I officially deconverted. And it was not until about 2008 that I understood what Secular Humanism was. I'd forgotten most of this stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 It's so cool to look back at the journey and view thoughts and feelings in retrospect. I went back and read some of my journal entries last year. I only journaled as a fundy, so it was pretty interesting to say the least! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverAgainV Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Now you can look back & see the mindset you had & what you were trying to understand about yourself & the world around you. That is good you have those to read over. I have some stuff, but when I left the cult I was SO angry, I ripped up letters & such, then I got to thinking, I should save some of this. The stuff I've saved I only touched the surface because I'm not ready yet to delve deep. I did some journaling during the time leading up to my departure from the church & every other sentence is a bible verse! I didn't even allow myself to think my own thoughts, it was all filtered through the bibble...urg. Hopefully now you will understand more about yourself & how & why you went in a direction. It's all a journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted April 8, 2012 Author Share Posted April 8, 2012 It's really interesting to see how far one has come over the course of six years. There really is life and sunshine "out here" in the "big bad world" away from the "Jesus people." Let's reword that. The big world turns out not to be so bad as the Jesus people say it is and life really is good out here, once you get free from the shadow of the church and its minions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marmot Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 It's only been about 3 months for me since I was able to actually admit to myself that I am an atheist. I look back at myself, and I look at Christian friends, and I can't believe some of the crazy things they (and most of the rest of our society) believe that just look batshit crazy from the other side. Glad you found this. I wish I had kept a diary of my thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted April 8, 2012 Author Share Posted April 8, 2012 I wish I had kept a diary of my thoughts. It's not too late to start, marmot. You're sure to change in the months and years to come. It will be interesting for you to look back sometime down the road and observe these changes. Also, it is possible that if you go back and look at the stuff you've collected over time that there are items that symbolize this or that stage/thought for you. As you will note, what I mention in the OP is not a diary. It's just stuff I kept or wrote because it was what caught my fancy at the moment. As I find them again, I realize what they meant for me at the time and it shows where I've been. It marks the path I've taken. Some of the things I kept were copies of posts and conversations I made on various online forums. Everyone on exC has some of those. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trashy Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 I'm always confusing my timeline. Fortunately I have old emails or blog posts to help straighten me out. I used to think that I first left church in 2000-2001, but in fact it was Easter of 1998. I thought that I became atheist in 1999 or 2000, but the first evidence I can find where I admitted it was from 2003. The mind can be so weak at details sometimes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voice Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Let's reword that. The big world turns out not to be so bad as the Jesus people say it is and life really is good out here, once you get free from the shadow of the church and its minions. That was well reworded! I'm grateful I don't have such records. Grateful. I sent people hard copy letters since there was no Internet at the time. and it would be mortifying to if find any of those still existed. There was a testimonial cartoon I drew; a short of my "born again" experience; a one page comic strip I tried to proliferate. I mailed it in to the US Copyright office to get it permanently on file. Recently I went there to see if it was there, and thankfully, some kind soul decided to "lose" it before it ever got on file. Whoooohh!!! I remember just fine how confused and lost I was, the mania, the looks. I can never go back to Madison Wisconsin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Valk0010 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 I'm always confusing my timeline. Fortunately I have old emails or blog posts to help straighten me out. I used to think that I first left church in 2000-2001, but in fact it was Easter of 1998. I thought that I became atheist in 1999 or 2000, but the first evidence I can find where I admitted it was from 2003. The mind can be so weak at details sometimes! Goes to show you, how silly the arguements about oral tradition in memory in regards to the gospels are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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