kruszer Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Since coming out about my deconversion, I've willingly left myself at the mercy of former Christian peers who like to challenge my new beliefs and urge my repentance. Here's the latest. This comment wraps up a very lengthy debate and reconversion effort on FB during which time my atheist friends and I beat out the Christians in a hilarious way. So without further ado: How to win a losing argument after an atheist has mocked your beliefs: "I know you are cringing and that writing these things is not you. I rebuke whatever spirit of doubt and hatred is in you, in Jesus Name. Spirit in Kristine, I bind you and tell you to leave Kristine at once!" Amusingly enough, that was her final comment to me, as she finally gave up and unfriended me after posting that. Guess I wasn't repenting fast enough to her liking, and it was probably making her a little nervous. Too bad it takes a little more than hokus pokus to bind away the devils of doubt, logic, science, and reason. (That pesky spirit of doubt didn't leave me, thankfully). . . . Anyone else have similarly crazy "can't believe you just tried that on me" stories/examples to share? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kruszer Posted April 13, 2012 Author Share Posted April 13, 2012 But I've apparently become possessed by the Spirit of Typo. Why can't I edit the title? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunaticheathen Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 LOL, what a douchenozzle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Everytime I hear that anyone is "binding" I think of this and just laugh. Too bad you cannot find a way to send her the link and add a huge bouncing smiley face. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted April 14, 2012 Moderator Share Posted April 14, 2012 We were taught to bind and THEN 'loose' the spirits!! Thay are forgetting to 'loose' them.... like jesus did when he bound the demons in the humans and then 'loosed' them into the pigs and sent them all off the cliff. People just haven't had proper instrutions on how to do this like me.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 At least you're thankfully demon-free now. I don't know if it's still true, but the old software "gave" editing privileges after 500 post or something like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Since coming out about my deconversion, I've willingly left myself at the mercy of former Christian peers who like to challenge my new beliefs and urge my repentance. Here's the latest. This comment wraps up a very lengthy debate and reconversion effort on FB during which time my atheist friends and I beat out the Christians in a hilarious way. So without further ado: How to win a losing argument after an atheist has mocked your beliefs: "I know you are cringing and that writing these things is not you. I rebuke whatever spirit of doubt and hatred is in you, in Jesus Name. Spirit in Kristine, I bind you and tell you to leave Kristine at once!" Amusingly enough, that was her final comment to me, as she finally gave up and unfriended me after posting that. Guess I wasn't repenting fast enough to her liking, and it was probably making her a little nervous. Too bad it takes a little more than hokus pokus to bind away the devils of doubt, logic, science, and reason. (That pesky spirit of doubt didn't leave me, thankfully). I find it amusing that her spell has no power and on some level she knows it. My magic flashlight has the power to dispel darkness. I just put good batteries into it and flip it on. Presto it works for all to see. She casts her spell on you and then nothing changes. Clearly her magic doesn't work. If it did work as well as my flashlight works then she wouldn't unfriend you as things would be going the way she wants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 I dont think binding works in text. That must be why it didn't work. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rain Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Spirit in Kristine, I bind you and tell you to leave Kristine at once!" She bound herself. She must have been the spirit in you as she ended up leaving you by unfriending you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelHappy Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 My uncle sits at his home casting out demons from people he knows!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Spirit in Kristine, I bind you and tell you to leave Kristine at once!" She bound herself. She must have been the spirit in you as she ended up leaving you by unfriending you. DAMN IT! I hate when I bind myself and end up in the Delta Quadrant. I WILL get you borg queen, I WILL!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue elephant Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 That makes me think of the God Warrior from Trading Spouses. That was what I thought of as well! Gargyles! Slykicks! Dork Sided! I rebuke it in the name of the Lord! I am a God Warrior! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marmot Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 I grew up far from fundamentalism, so every time I heard this fundie-speech I am weirded out. "I bind this spirit...I declare blessings...etc." It's like a completely different religion than the one I grew up in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chikirin Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 When I was a Christian I got in a argument with a Hare Krishna and rebuked the demons inside him in Jesus name Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LivingLife Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 LoL, the only thing worse than talking to your imaginary friend is talking to someone else's imaginary friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yrth Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 LoL, the only thing worse than talking to your imaginary friend is talking to someone else's imaginary friend lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 My uncle sits at his home casting out demons from people he knows!! I hope he lives near a pork slaughter house. Imagine all those freed demons running loose with no pigs to possess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 The most ironic thing about xianity that they never see is the disconnection to the supernatural. They always claim that all other religions or beliefs are "witchcraft" or "magic" and that is evil or satanic. And then they smile and cheerily tell you how some dude died and came back to life. And while he was alive he healed by touch and changed water to wine, there are burning bushes and tablets that get inscribed with words from an invisible god. So when they freak out about things like Harry Potter, a completely fictional thing, I get disgusted with their blindness and stupidity. Harry is not real, use your brain. But they are not taught to think. Praying is just a form of spellcraft. You are manifesting your personal power. You are putting your intention into a spell. Praying is stolen from a pagan ritual. If they used critical thinking they would see that. It may not be exactly the same, but how could it be when it is a stolen part of another religion. I think all the Abrahamic religions rely on the supernatural more than any other. It's like joining xianity gets you this spell to begin with... "I blind you Nancy, you must do harm to others and yourself, I blind you nancy." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axwheels Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Whenever I hear or read one of these rebuking prayers, I'm reminded of an incident from my childhood. My entire family rented a beach house for a week. It was a new place, I was 5, and so I became scared at night. I heard some noises the first night and became convinced there was a monster under my bed. The next day, my aunt and uncle went to a novelty shop and came back with a bottle of monster repellent (apparently beach monsters are common). I sprinkled on my bed and magically there were no more monsters. Rebuking prayers work very much like this. They work as a placebo effect for an imaginary fear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 My Evil Ex, when he realized I was actually not going back to him, told me that if I didn't come back to our home and be his sweet little Christian wife again, that if he didn't have access to my body, he might have to "pollute himself" and thereby send himself to Hell. He seriously thought guilting me over his sinfulness and possible condemnation would induce me to return to him. He cast out demons at me on a constant basis as well, but I have to say that hearing my stalker and abuser literally bawl his eyes out at me about using the "self-service pumps" took the cake for insane reconversion tactics--though I'm not sure it was purely a reconversion tactic; maybe it was half reconversion and half "you're a two-timing slut and a whore but I still think there's hope for us, baby." The last few times less-psychotic Christians have tried to witness to me, it usually does end with them just saying "Well, we'll pray for you." I don't normally get demons cast out of me anymore, now that I don't really associate with fundies. The idea that someone would type those instructions into Facebook tickles me pink. Because, you know, God wouldn't listen if it was just prayed in solitude. You have to actually type it or God won't notice it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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