sarahinprogress Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 I think today I realized really for the first time that I am truly an atheist now. I went for a run for the first time in a couple months and my lungs completely shut down, got about a half a mile and couldn't breathe. I have asthma, you see. I was born at seven months and have been asthmatic pretty much as long as I remember. But I LOVE running! When I was younger my asthma didn't affect me as it does now, really not until I was in my teens did it start inhibiting me. What kind of deity would give me such fucked up lungs but such a desire and joy from running!? I am so pissed right now. Just...seething. Stages of grief? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 I completely hear you! I have a (would-be-debilitating-were-it-not-for-special-new-expensive-pharmaceutical-agents) migraine disorder, inherited from my mother. I would have killed myself years ago if it weren't for GlaxoSmithKline (blessed be the name). God did nothing to help me. Ever. 3000 migraine prayers but never a touch from God on any level. WTF? The thing is, this is the way I was made, the way "God knit me together in my mother's womb", since a couple wires get crossed in migraineurs, compared to non-sufferers. My fundy family likes to blame me (stress, hidden sin, lack of a "church covering"). I finally told them that the neurologist has actually said this migraine disorder is actually the way God made me. Fundy-in-laws said, "No it's not!" And I'm like, "Well......functional MRIs and North America's top neurologists disagree with you." All this to say, fuck it! Let's keep trying to find ways to improve our quality of life. And yes, I think you are going through stages of grief. You and I got some shitty genes from our parents. We are truly on our own, with our physicians and Big Pharma. Here's to life, in spite of the crap! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahinprogress Posted April 14, 2012 Author Share Posted April 14, 2012 And I'm like, "Well......functional MRIs and North America's top neurologists disagree with you." All this to say, fuck it! Let's keep trying to find ways to improve our quality of life. And yes, I think you are going through stages of grief. You and I got some shitty genes from our parents. We are truly on our own, with our physicians and Big Pharma. Here's to life, in spite of the crap! Hahaha! Thanks I needed that. Yeah I think I'm going to have to go back on my steroid inhibitor if I want to keep running (I do), I'm just not a fan of steroid. Maybe they've developed something else since highschool? *crosses fingers* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConureDelSol Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 My osteopath once told my mom (regarding the fact that I was born with kyphosis) that "God made her this way and that means she's perfect." One abnormal spine, flat feet, congenital anemia and autoimmune disease later, I call bull-fucking-shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tealeaf Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 You know what really shows there is no universal justice is that there's plenty of people out there who do nothing cardio-vascular wise and/or smoke cigarrettes and/or abuse their system in other ways who will have no desire to run/be active and may never suffer any sickness from it. Just another one of those situations that would go on the "If there was an all loving god who was fair and just in how he created the universe and it's inhabitants....." list. PS - I love running and biking too so I see how shitty it would be not to be able to do those! Good luck with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astreja Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 I hear you, Duckiegirl -- I love cats and I love gardening. I have allergies to cat dander, numerous types of pollen, and mold (which results in My sinuses locking up when I clean leaf mold off the lawn in early spring). And then, of course, there's an apparently inherited tendency towards leg edema, heartburn and insomnia on the Norwegian side of the family. If there's a deity in charge of this madness, I think I'll send the boys around for a friendly chat: "Nice paradise ya got 'ere. Pity if somethin' were to 'appen to it..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 I'm hearing ya, Duckie. I got lumped with a faulty uterus. I'm thankful I've got a surgeon who can take the damn thing out and let me have my life back! And as for the bipolar, well, I'm grateful for the people who made a drug for epilepsy and discovered it had a very useful side-effect for people living with bipolar- mood stabilisation! I bet the drug company was cheering the day that they discovered that very useful side-effect! LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted April 15, 2012 Moderator Share Posted April 15, 2012 duckiegirl.... this truly is a drag for you! Sounds like you are doing everything to push past these limits...good for you... you're a great inspiration to me!! I don't think we even need to question this invisable, so-called powerful god who hasn't blessed you with the good lungs you so deserved to live on this earth. No longer, do I have to question all the pain and misery on earth..... finally.... I wanted children and yet I had 5 miscarriages and 2 eptopic pregnancies?? Not one - but two!! I almost died from one of them. How I questioned god back then.... and actually tried to concoct in my mind why he would take this priviledge away from me..........I made more stupid excuses for him and what his 'will' might possible mean for me back then and tried very hard to believe he had his reasons. Then I was told by many when my young sister died, that his purpose for me would to bring these two young ones of hers up......I would finally have the children I wanted. My sister had to die and 5 years later, my husband left cause he 'couldn't do it'......Nice plan god.. It's so nice not to have to do that anymore and just accept the fact that we are humans animals with defects in our blood and flesh bodies. Keep running as far as you can hon!! Life is hard but you sound like you are making the best of it!! 5 stars for you!! ***** You go girl and keep doin' your best!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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