Getting Into Buddhism, But Terrified Of Religion!

[Anselan]

I've been a proper atheist for nearly a year now, and have absolutely no regrets - only that I didn't do this sooner (say, 14 years ago). At the same time, I've become more seriously involved in Buddhism, an interest I've had for years, even while I was a Christian. Strictly speaking, Buddhism is an entirely atheist religion (no belief in God), but of course when you get into it there is plenty of superstitious nonsense in the tradition (karma, rebirth) and also plenty of religious hierarchy, adherence to ancient texts, etc. I generally find it all of a much milder variety than I ever found in Christianity, and I do think that the core practice of Buddhism doesn't really need much in the way of superstitious belief, but still...

 

In many ways, I'm extremely comfortable with Buddhist "spirituality" and certainly practice (i.e. meditation), and I find the philosophy and the way of life "fits" very well with me. I have even started attending regular meditation classes at the local (Triratna) meditation centre, which I thoroughly enjoy (I had this bizarre sense like I was "coming home" the first time I attended). On the other hand, I have been "burned" by Christianity so badly that I am terrified of falling into another religion, and I worry about my son whom I vowed never to indoctrinate in anything. But if Buddhism continues to enrich my life (and it certainly has), how can I help but share it?

 

Any thoughts from some Ex-Christians out there? Particularly those who have now embraced Buddhism?

[blackpudd1n]

Hey Anselan

 

I never got into Buddhism, and I am an ex-christian atheist. However, my dad is a pagan. Dad doesn't follow all of it, only those parts of it that he is comfortable with. So essentially, paganism is a philosophy for him, a guide for living his life, and nothing more. He doesn't get into spells, isn't a part of a coven, doesn't do the spirituality stuff. His path is his own, and if anything doesn't ring true to him, he just doesn't follow it.

 

So my advice to you would be to examine each thing for yourself, and keep whatever makes you comfortable in yourself, and set aside anything that does not. You don't have to follow every last bit of it.

 

Hope that helps

[Anselan]

So my advice to you would be to examine each thing for yourself, and keep whatever makes you comfortable in yourself, and set aside anything that does not. You don't have to follow every last bit of it.

 

Yes, I think that's pretty much what I'm up to now. I guess there is just a part of me that worried I'll somehow be drawn into bullshit unawares...

[Deva]

Hello Anselan

 

I have been attending a Tibetan Dharma Center (Padmasambhava Buddhist Center) for about 5 years now.

 

We have a thread on Buddhism going in the Spirituality section of the forum "The Epic Ex-Christian Buddhism Thread". I have discussed there some of my issues.

 

If you decide to get involved it will probably be necessary for you to uninvolve yourself from certain practices and things going on that you will find superstitious or simply unbelievable. That has been the case with me, and I don't even have the problem you do with rebirth. You just have to lay those things aside and don't let them bother you, and focus on the things that you find beneficial.

 

I have a great appreciation for what I have learned there and for the most part it has been a very big help to me during the last two years in particular, where my life has been very hard due to outward circumstances I have had no control over.

[Anselan]

Thanks, Shadow Dweller, I find that quite encouraging. I will spend some time reading through the thread.

 

It is a pity, in a way, that one has to play the pick-and-choose game, but I suppose that is just life - there is no such thing as a perfect spiritual tradition, unsullied by human error.

[blackpudd1n]

So my advice to you would be to examine each thing for yourself, and keep whatever makes you comfortable in yourself, and set aside anything that does not. You don't have to follow every last bit of it.

 

Yes, I think that's pretty much what I'm up to now. I guess there is just a part of me that worried I'll somehow be drawn into bullshit unawares...

 

Have more faith in yourself, Anselan Afterall, you got yourself out of xtianity, right?

 

Maybe take some time out from it all and just let yourself process everything. Sometimes we just need a bit of time to process, and it can be hard to do so when you're in amongst it all. Just spend some time focusing on something else- your mind will process as you do so, and you will find your way through

[ConureDelSol]

I too have been trying to get more into Buddhism. It's just that the more and more I look at it, the less I see it as a religion and just as a philosophy to live by. You're fortunate that you have a meditation center near you. There is only one in my area and they meet in a house that has been made into a sangha. All of their services happen during times that conflict with my schedule. If I did manage to summon the bravery to go though, I'm afraid that my parents (still Christian) are going to be nosy and wonder where I've been. I'm a really, really bad liar.

 

In the meantime, I'm reading up on what I can and plan to buy Buddhism for Dummies in ebook form.

[Rev R]

There has been some controversy surrounding the Triratna Order, namely charges of sexual misconduct and a closed dogmatic system. There have been concerns raised about the lineage of the order but such things are not something I would be concerned over if their dharma is sound.

 

Just something to keep an eye on while you practice with them.

[Deva]

Personally, I have a zero tolerance level when it comes to sexual misconduct - but that would be with regard to my teacher now, not someone in the past, who was dead or something.

[sjessen]

Hi Anselan,

 

You sound like you are very aware of what you do not want to get into again. You have already spotted things in Buddhism that you do not agree with. I agree with blackpudd1n, I would suggest just taking what helps you and leaving the rest. After my deconversion, I was looking for a substitute for the role Christianity played in my life, especially a sense of community. I looked at various other religions, including Buddhism, but finally rejected them. I have a lot of respect for the Dalai Lama and appreciate his promotion of tolerance, kindness and compassion. But like you, I have serious qualms about many of the other religious trappings. I no longer miss that sense of community that I had as a Christian either. It seems to have dissipated with time.

 

I would say to trust yourself. You've learned your lesson big time and you can trust yourself to not fall prey to soul-mongers again! But be on-guard, they come in many forms and you are wise to be watching for them.

 

Happy meditating!

 

Sharon

[Voice]

Anselan,

Your concern is valid. I've met a couple of religious Buddhists. Warning signs for becoming a religions Buddhist are:

Thinking a lot about the doctrines of Buddhism, forming your thought processes around them

Trying to be "enlightened", becoming obsessed with that

Believing you have been enlightened in some "born again" way

Telling others about it when they don't ask

And you probably know this one, telling others it's "the" or "the best" religion

 

If you just think of it as a perspective that can help move you to a calmer self, you're fine. The nature of Buddhism is toward calm and quiet, which is where it should take you.

Meditations will help if they help you focus on life things. Careful not to meditate on Buddhist doctrine. That's not Buddhist meditation, it's religion.

[VacuumFlux]

I've had similar concerns with my interest in Buddhism. Here's a few thoughts I've had on the matter:

 

1. There are many parts of Buddhism that are experiential, and texts that say that experience is more important than belief. Generally, Buddhism is less likely to ask you take something on faith, and more likely to say "try this out or think about this, and let your own experience be the proof that I'm right" instead of yelling at you for daring to ask questions.

 

2. Historical context. Learn a little about Vedism, Hinduism, and Buddhism. One thing I read somewhere said that westerners (around the 1800s somewhere) liked Buddhism because it seems like Buddhism is to Hinduism what the Reformation was to Christianity. Buddhist texts are a product of their culture, and a lot of it was formed as a counter to very superstitious and caste-based religion. So maybe there were cultural assumptions that we don't agree with nowadays that early Buddhism never thought to question, but if you look at what Buddhism was doing differently from the culture it formed in, there's a lot of principles that I would agree with. For example, there's stories of a low-caste person (that Hindus would have said deserved to suffer and would have to suffer for many lifetimes before they'd have any chance at spiritual attainment) who achieved enlightenment.

 

3. Buddhists don't all treat the texts as the infallible word of god. Some of them do, but (just as in christianity) there are plenty of more liberal versions. Shop around. Also, there's a lot more Buddhist scriptures than there are Christian ones, and different categories of Buddhists use different sets of texts, so it's all a bit more flexible than I'm used to think of religious texts being.

 

4. Parts of Buddhism do work for me. As was pointed out to me in the Epic thread that was suggested earlier, there's a lot of modern Buddhism that feels right to me; it's more useful to think about why the stuff I like seems to have rejected certain ideas than to worry about whether I'm doing it wrong.

 

Here's a blog post from an ordained Buddhist that addresses a few of those issues. This guy's rather non-traditional in some of his views, and doesn't believe in reincarnation or even body/soul duality because of science, yet a large portion of his posts are in-depth analyses of the texts. I like his blog because he's put a lot of thought into some of the issues that I've had, and remains a Buddhist because he thinks it's still useful and logical, not because of any cognitive dissonance causing leap of faith like a lot of intelligent christians use to stay in their religion. So maybe some of those ideas will help you decide what works best for you.

 

http://jayarava.blogspot.com/2012/05/rebirth-buddhist-fundamentalism.html

[Deva]

Comment on the article above - its sad that one Buddhist accuses another of fundamentalism. You are right, the author is very non-traditional. The Dharma is not really about analyzing texts do determine who's right and who's wrong. I must say that if I heard my teacher doing this kind of thing, I would be out of there fast. I have had enough text comparisons and "such and such isnt a true according to whatever text"- to last me several lifetimes!

 

This Triratna order that the author belongs to seems questionable to me. There have been controversies attached to it.

 

If the central stumbling block is rebirth or reincarnation, I would say why not just leave it alone. The most important thing is what is going on right now.

 

Good post, VaccumFlux.