Blah ( Whining About My Job )

[Thought2Much]

Please feel free to ignore this. I just need to vent and wallow in self-pity for a bit.

 

I have a job. It pays well; it pays enough that my family can live off of my income alone, so my wife can stay home with the kids, which is a rarity in our time, and in our area especially. Unfortunately, due to a number of circumstances too convoluted and boring to detail here, it has become a soul-sucking bag of hurt. I absolutely dread going in to work every day.

 

Because of the problems with my current job, I'm looking for another one. One of the problems with New Jersey is that unless you work on Wall Street, it is impossible to afford a house that's anywhere near where the work is. This means that most of the people in this godforsaken hellhole live over an hour from where they work, and have to commute in very heavy traffic every day, and pay tolls for the privilege of sitting in that traffic.

 

The job I interviewed for today is an hour and twenty minutes from where I live. There's that, and then there's the fact that I didn't feel very excited about the job itself. There were no real warning flags that went up in my head about it... it just wasn't exciting in any way.

 

So, even though the pay for the new job would be the same as what I make now, because I'd be driving 80 extra miles a day plus a $3 toll, I would wind up with what amounts to a substantial pay cut if I took the job. The only plus would be I would get to leave the soul-sucking bag of hurt job I have now.

 

I'm not sure if I should take the new job and try to push for enough money to at least cover my additional expenses, or just keep looking for something else.

 

Blah.

[Deva]

Sorry to hear it. I know I can't be the only one with a bad job situation. I thought my commute was bad - 45 minutes in heavy traffic for two part time jobs. I guess you would have to weigh whether or not it was worth it. An interview does not necessarily mean a job offer, of course. I hope things get better for you, as I continue to hope for myself.

[blackpudd1n]

Considering the amount of time you spend at work, nothing sucks more than being unhappy in your job. And feeling trapped in it sucks even more.

 

My grandfather found a pretty extreme way out of that grind- he'd take a two-hour train ride to work, work all day as an accounts clerk, then go to night school to become an engineer, then travel 2 hours on the train home again. He did that for two years, until he became a qualified civil engineer.

 

Sometimes you've just got to do what you've got to do, I guess.

[Chikirin]

I hate my job. I can't be myself, every email I have to respond as if I'm responding to some important person. I mean, they are important in that they are my superiors, but they always pounce if I'm not formal enough. Aren't we all Americans? And plus my superiors are all like 29 and I'm ten years older. I hate them. They are always running around drumming up more business like chickens with their heads cut off. I hope they all get ulcers and die. Bunch of overachieving pieces of shit. I'm just glad I don't have a family. Thank God for alcohol.

[Positivist]

Sorry to hear it T2M. Sucks to be us.

 

I should clarify my "sucks to be us". I have an excellent job, minutes away from home; I can work from home sometimes; my job pays well (although I clock way too many hours). There is one big problem however: I am in the wrong field entirely. It's not a matter of the job; it's a matter of being in the whole wrong fucking career. It's not like buying the wrong pair of glasses; it's like ending up in a shoe store instead and buying boots you hate, which you then proceed to nail to the floor with even more fucking degrees because you think that will help you get out. Argh! Fortunately, I am talented enough of an actor to fake my way through every day with a great big fucking grin to cover up the OMGFML. (Me at work: )

 

Commuting sucks, but a job you hate sucks too. I have had jobs that I've hated so much that I've cried in the parkade for 10 minutes before going in. At least for me, this job I can tolerate until I retire (that's a ways off, but just sayin') unless I go all vigilante and freak out one day.

 

I'm so far up shit creek I'm not even a speck on the horizon!

 

All this to say, I hope you can discern the best decision with ease. Life's too short to spend behind the wheel or hating every second of work! Keep us posted!

[RankStranger]

That's a tough decision.

 

Out of all the jobs I've had- nine in total- I've truly hated two of them... one of which I quit only a few months ago. In both cases, I stuck around for a year or two for various reasons- too long, really. And in both cases, it didn't do my mental health any good. The fact is that you spend half or more of you waking hours at your job- if you're pissed off, paranoid, cynical, etc. during those 8 hours a day, it's going to have an effect on you. For me, it's bled over into other areas of my life. It's left me with lasting anxiety, a shitty attitude towards work, even a little paranoia. And you may have noticed from my posts around here that I'm a cynical asshole- I wasn't always like this.

 

Now this has happened to me before, and I got over it more or less. I expect to get over it again now that I have a much better job, and I'm no longer pissed off for 8 hours a day. But that kind of sustained stress CAN'T be good for a person, even if I do 'get over it' in time.

 

In your case, it seems like the decision comes down to a question of which is worse: a job you hate, or a long commute? I've done both. A long commute does suck. But a job you hate- that sucks the life outta you. Personally I'd definitely be willing to put up with a long commute if it meant the difference between a job I hate and a job that I don't hate.

[TrueFreedom]

I've been there and stuck it out for a couple of years. It's gotten better, and I've grown from it, but it took its toll. Ultimately, we all need to find our own path to contentment. Few of us find a perfect job that matches our passions. We have to work at something... Hope you find something that you can make work!

[Guest Valk0010]

Please feel free to ignore this. I just need to vent and wallow in self-pity for a bit.

 

I have a job. It pays well; it pays enough that my family can live off of my income alone, so my wife can stay home with the kids, which is a rarity in our time, and in our area especially. Unfortunately, due to a number of circumstances too convoluted and boring to detail here, it has become a soul-sucking bag of hurt. I absolutely dread going in to work every day.

 

Because of the problems with my current job, I'm looking for another one. One of the problems with New Jersey is that unless you work on Wall Street, it is impossible to afford a house that's anywhere near where the work is. This means that most of the people in this godforsaken hellhole live over an hour from where they work, and have to commute in very heavy traffic every day, and pay tolls for the privilege of sitting in that traffic.

 

The job I interviewed for today is an hour and twenty minutes from where I live. There's that, and then there's the fact that I didn't feel very excited about the job itself. There were no real warning flags that went up in my head about it... it just wasn't exciting in any way.

 

So, even though the pay for the new job would be the same as what I make now, because I'd be driving 80 extra miles a day plus a $3 toll, I would wind up with what amounts to a substantial pay cut if I took the job. The only plus would be I would get to leave the soul-sucking bag of hurt job I have now.

 

I'm not sure if I should take the new job and try to push for enough money to at least cover my additional expenses, or just keep looking for something else.

 

Blah.

There is a figure of speech that pops into my head alot these days.

 

"Its a hell with a different zipcode."

 

Look at your budget, cut what you can, and take the fucking job.

 

That is my advice. Then as your starting there, start looking for another one. Give your notice to the new one and jump ship when you find a better one.

[Will02]

Hell, I just wish I had a job.

[Guest wester]

“You have to watch people playing Monopoly, and see them begin to ‘identify’ the paper markers with real value, to understand how the mass hypnosis of Capitalism works.”

 

– Robert Anton Wilson

[Galien]

I hate my job. I can't be myself, every email I have to respond as if I'm responding to some important person. I mean, they are important in that they are my superiors, but they always pounce if I'm not formal enough. Aren't we all Americans? And plus my superiors are all like 29 and I'm ten years older. I hate them. They are always running around drumming up more business like chickens with their heads cut off. I hope they all get ulcers and die. Bunch of overachieving pieces of shit. I'm just glad I don't have a family. Thank God for alcohol.

 

I have no superiors, they just like to believe they are. I live in Australia where jack is as good as his master and in some cases a good deal better. I won't crawl up anyone's ass for any reason and I am constantly in trouble for it. My question is shouldn't they already know how important they are without me having to remind them???

[Astreja]

I'm going to naysay the "quit without notice" part. Unless you're absolutely sure that you will never need the employer as a reference, or have reason to suspect that they'd badmouth you anyway, don't burn that bridge.

 

Especially if you work in an industry with a few major players who all know one another. Word does get around, and you may find yourself persona non grata in that line of work, for the rest of your work life.

 

However, if your health (mental *or* physical) is in jeopardy, make an exit plan, go into austerity mode and stash a few bucks, and get out of there sooner rather than later.

[Mike D]

I can truly empathize with anyone who is in a job they absolutely hate, I have hated most of my jobs in my career so I have been there one too many times.

 

So you know how miserable I was, the last corporate job I had (which was quite high paying) I got up and walked out in 2009, in the depths of the recession when people were getting laid off right and left. Most of my friends thought I had completely lost my mind (maybe I had to an extent), but I honestly couldn't take another day.

 

I had no other job lined up, and had no clue what I was going to do. But I just didn't care. I didn't care about "burning bridges", I didn't care about gaps on my resume, I didn't care about references, etc. All my life I stayed in miserable jobs and suffered because I was so worried about how it would "look" on my resume to a new employer, quitting my previous job without having another line up. OMG!! Gasp! The horror!! My resume is RUINED! FOR LIFE!!!!! (what a pathetic, bullshit excuse of a reason to stay in a job).

 

In hindsight I can say I got through it without ending up homeless, and so far it's worked out in the sense that I have started my own business (no bosses except for my clients - which can be just as demanding as a regular boss but at least it's only for a short period of time). It has been rough at times, and I don't make anywhere near what I did before (not yet anyway), but at least I can say I call my own shots. I am free. And that feeling is what motivates me to keep going and do whatever I can to avoid getting a "job", no matter how high paying, ever again.

 

I think this is one of those situations where you really have to sit down and think long and hard about what's really important to you in life. Just remember that life is short. I can't think of anything more sad than spending 60, 70 or 80 hours a week (the majority of your waking hours) in a miserable job that you dread waking up for each morning. That's not living - you're already dead.

[Thought2Much]

Mike D, if I didn't have my whole family to support, I would definitely give thought to just walking away. And spending time with my family is important to me, so a 1.5 hour commute would take away a lot of that time. But then I think of having to come back to my current job... sigh.

 

Astreja, I actually do work in a field that I have described as being "incestuous," because everyone in the field has worked with everyone else in the field. I always have to watch my step because of the possibility of pissing off the wrong person, which might harm my future prospects later.

 

Valk, it's not all about the money. If I thought this would be a fantastic job but I had to take a bit of a pay cut for it, then I would work it out. Unfortunately, it would be a pay cut plus a soul-sucking commute, and from all appearances, the job and the environment would just be kind of "meh." The biggest advantage is that the new job wouldn't be the job I have now, which isn't exactly a ringing endorsement. As you said, maybe I should take the new job and just keep looking for another one.

 

BurnedOut, there is actually one person at my current job that has made my life, and the life of everyone else she works with, a living hell (and there is just no way she will ever get fired, much to everyone's dismay). I have dreamed of telling her off for a long time. However, see my comment to Astreja; I may not get to do that, even when I'm on my way out.

 

Positivist, I know that feeling. Until I found the right niche in my field, I was miserable. There was a time I was thinking about becoming a car salesman, or anything other than what I was doing. I felt like I had wasted my money on my degree, and that I should have done something else. I don't feel that way (most of the time) anymore. There's still a part of me that wishes I had become a lawyer or an accountant instead of what I am now.

 

I think I may be leaning toward not taking the job now. We'll see if they make an offer next week.

[Denyoz]

Drugs anyone?