Ex-Church Was Strict, Deceptive 5 Year Anniv. Of Escaping

[NeverAgainV]

The beginning of this April was my 5 year anniversary of freedom! We left that cult church 5 years ago...wow.

I am doing so much better! So if you are someone who is struggling, wondering if you will ever feel happy or good again,

please give yourself time because it really does get better!!

 

I was posting a comment to the "How strict was your church" thread & realized I was beginning to just about write a novel!

It is so long, so I'm posting it here.

 

Question: How strict was your church?

 

My long ass answer....

 

 

I was raised liberal catholic, which wasn’t strict.

 

After graduating college, I got sucked into a

Primitive Baptist Calvinist cult. The leader is sneaky because he has the system set up so it doesn’t look

so strict on the outside. Women can wear pants, jewelry, make-up & get their hair cut. We were allowed to watch movies...but INSIDE is where the noose starts to tighten.

 

 

If you are a newcomer grace is emphasized that is used to suck people in. It is subtle, but once you take that grace bait & JOIN then you begin to see a shift with how you are treated as the sermons become more harsh & the pastor & people become more demanding.

 

They believe the KJV bible is the inerrant word of God.

All other churches, except for theirs are not true churches with deceived lukewarm Christians.

 

The doctrine was strict new testament...though only what the pastor wants to emphasize. Tons of Paul teachings...I don’t really remember much of Jesus teachings from the bully pulpit. Many NT verses have never been preached on & they are ignored because they don’t fit xpastor’s doctrine. The OT is brought up when again, it fits xpastors agenda. Also the OT is used to control, manipulate & scare the shit out of the “flock” with the horrific stories.

 

 

Women were to keep silent in church. Women never taught from the pulpit.

Xpastor bragged that he didn’t own a television...implying that if you did, you were worldy.

The church cult I left does not celebrate Christmas, Easter or Halloween.

They don’t allow for any musical instruments in the worship service, yet at the church picnics the pastor lets people play instruments & lets his daughter have singing solo time.

No Sunday school for kids, that’s not biblical! But a few years ago for a time, pastor’s daughter would use the church kids to perform musicals directed by her. So...no Sunday school for the kids, but using kids for pastor’s daughter’s musical is a-OK, wink, wink .

There really was no other "ministry" except the pastor's preaching ministry...giving $$ was important & he used verses such as "the workman is worthy of his hire...or OT verses about stealing from God or not giving God his due. Give til it hurts...sacrificially.

 

Many rules were arbitrary & bible verses were used when the pastor & his family would benefit from it or it was convenient for the pastor.

 

 

It’s KJV only. They were into the Gail Riplinger thing..... UGH.

 

Xpastard considers HIS particular church The Kingdom of God on this earth, so if you are not a member of HIS church, you are NOT in the Kingdom.

He has NO checks & balances on his power what so ever..... he has no elders, no deacons, no assistant pastor, NOTHING to keep him in line.

I never once saw a financial statement of what is done with church funds. Over time, he requested to stop making checks out to the Detroit church & instead, make them out directly to him. I did that for years.

 

This guy is really under the radar, hell, they don’t even have their own church building. (not biblical according to the pastor) They rent an American Legion Hall for their church services.

 

Sex before marriage is considered SIN.

Members are allowed to date, but xpastor will never marry anyone in the church unless their partner get converted & joins his church. So for the single church members who can’t find a potential partner in the church cult, there is pressure to getting your non-church boyfriend or girlfriend to become a member & join the church cult. lest you end up single or a spinster. This is where many converts come from.

 

 

The cult church system is set up to be very punitive to those who refuse to OBEY what the pastor decrees. INSIDE it’s toxic. People are church disciplined for any & every infraction...hell, we were church disciplined & made to look like satan’s minions...our offense, “variance”!!! Yep, we were slandered from the pulpit & excommunicated because of “variance” which is a difference of opinion. Actually our REAL sin was letting the pastor know we no longer wanted to be in his church...we wanted out, to leave. And nobody leaves on good terms, ever. so of course he has to concoct whatever sin he can to then kick us out basically.

It was like someone who quits their job, but the boss screams "no, you're fired!" I guess it's his way to get in the last word & slander our character.

Because he believes that he’s got IT, namely the “true church” nobody EVER leaves on good terms. Every single person who has left that church has been church disciplined/excommunicated.

 

You become anathema if you dare to disagree with the dictator pastor. He NEVER has any of his excommunication or church discipline sermons for the public to see or hear. If you are not a member, just checking it out or looking at the website, you have NO IDEA that shit goes on. And I see he has purged his sermon list of many “controversial” sermons he has done, even sermons as recent as 2011. I’m sure the sermons have been cleaned up too...just a hunch anyhow.

 

 

He has said in times past that “denominations” are not biblical & castigated other churches for being in denominations such as Methodist, Lutherans, Catholics, yet he calls his church “baptistic”, huh??? on the church cult website he does call his church BAPTIST. So there is the usual double speak of saying one thing, but doing the opposite of what is being preached. (and nobody’s supposed to notice that, let alone say anything about it)

 

There is mandatory church attendance. People plan their vacations around not missing a church service. Also pastor requires people to call him if they are going to miss church...so if you are sick, make sure you don’t sleep in & drag yourself to the phone to give controlling pastor a call to let him know you won’t be in church.

 

The congregation runs the gamut of members who have kids in the public schools to those families who exclusively home school their kids.

 

In the past he had some members who were driving 2 – 4 hours ONE WAY to “church” because pastor convinced them they had no “true churches” by where they lived. He has convinced people to uproot their lives to MOVE to where his church is in Michigan for the cult!! He has physically separated families because of his little church cult..he would brag about this & it makes his church just appear so special that people would make such the sacrifice & effort to drive sooo far & that people would uproot their lives for his church.

 

Oh & I think it's ironic that he goes to lame ass pastor's conferences...but are those biblical??

Again, the rules are always bent to accommodate the pastor & his agenda.

 

I’m getting pissed off just thinking of all of this again.

I could go on & on....but I’ll stop for now. (I did post some of this on my xtimony...)

 

The good thing is that I'm glad to be out of that prison.5 years!!! But..I still get pissed off.

[Will02]

That reminds me of one "church" I went to in my college days. It split off from the church I grew up in and it met in a Marriot hotel for several years before ultimately falling apart a few years ago after I had left. It wasn't quite as strict as yours (though everything was based on Paul's teachings) but the pastor and elders called the shots and no one else had any influence. Basically, there was a "core" group that ran everything and there was everyone else. These guys were really good at getting unpaid "volunteer" work out of people. I only left because I moved away, it took several more years for me to deconvert fully but even then I knew that things there weren't quite right; the pastor had a really nice house, car, clothes, and other things. He said they were all "gifts" but I wasn't sure of that even at the time since ordinary folks weren't allowed to see the budget.... he could have been skimming huge amounts and no one outside the inner circle would ever know.

[NeverAgainV]

Hey Will, Yep! There were no paid church positions except the pastor's, everybody else was volunteer.

Aren't you glad you moved away? When you can get away from it then your mind can clear itself. I think that's why "church attendance" is so damn important because

they must always keep the indoctrination sermons barraging the minds of the "believers". You never have a chance to think for yourself when you are in it.

 

Oh yeah, I ask myself, would a humble preacher brag that financially he was "well taken care of..."? That was like a slap in the face to those in his church who were financially

struggling...and forget it if you had a job where you worked on sundays...too bad, because church is more important than making a living & providing for your family.

That was & I'm sure still is the mentality.

Everybody else is supposed to sacrifice..but...He's traveled the world for the "ministry" not to mention he has a personal trainer. The sycophants in his church treat him & his family like royalty.

Humble...my ass.

Though he is sneaky because he & his wife downsized, so he likes the image of not being worldly.

...but he's said publicly he's cheap...I'm thinking when it comes to others.

When it comes to himself, my guess is he has a pretty hefty bank account.

[Positivist]

Oh, this makes me cringe!!! I've been a part of some of those types of churches on the fringe. We really thought we were onto something.

 

I just watched a movie last night called "Higher Ground" ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1562568/ ). My church wasn't that strict but I still had flashbacks!

 

I am so glad we're out, NeverAgain!!!!!!!!!

[NeverAgainV]

Yes Positivist, I am glad to be out of that hell hole! I wish i could just forget it, but for whatever reasons I obsess or get very pissed off about it.

 

I have never heard of that movie Higher Ground. Checked out your link & it looks very interesting!

I'll have to see if my library has it possibly to check it out.

 

I am moving forward, but I have so many unresolved emotions/issues related to the whole cult nightmare. Guess it boils down to the mother fucker got away with hurting us & others. To this day it still continues on & nobody says a damn thing. Then I think I should be the one to say something, but things are so crazy now with our lives, I don't know if I want to deal with the back lash right now.

 

I want to shout it from the rooftops, what that church is really about. *sigh* One of these days...one of these days...

[jackbauer]

Wow that sounds like a nutty church.

 

I've always suspected those who emphasize "grace" and how they hate "religion" of being even more cultish and controlling than normal churches. They can start out that way, but will twist words, if not outright lie to find ways to control you. Like those who talk about how you can never lose your salvation will get around that by saying those who leave were never really saved (that was a big mind fuck for me). Similarly, there was a video months back about how he hated "religion" but loved "jesus". This was from the Mars Hill Church, which many identify as a cult.

 

Fucking Christians, why can't they just be honest about their intentions? Oh wait. because if they were than no one would take them seriously!

[NeverAgainV]

Hi JB, when you mentioned Mars Hills.....my stomach churned. He is a LOT like xpastor on a way larger scale.

I saw Driscoll on Piers Morgan recently...gawd...I'm thinking why oh why are these religious leaders put up on those pedestals? And anyone who knows about Mars Hills & how Driscoll excommunicates & shuns..should see what he is doing is despicable. We were shunned too & it hurts bad. I've read about folks who left the Mars Hills church...it's the same mind fuck, guilting manipulative bullshit.

 

And wow, you make an awesome point JB, the cult I was in believed an elect could NOT lose their salvation, but that God was all into "he chasteneth those whom he loveth" meaning...if you disobey gawd down here your ass is grass. Leaving the church or disagreeing w/ the pastor is one of the main ways to get on god's shit list & quick. The curses are coming to make your life hell in THIS life. Still the same FEAR FACTOR but instead of the fear of HELL, it's the fear of God striking down your children or cursing you & yours with sickness, death or financial ruin or any number of horrible things that happen in this world. Let me tell you they had me in a mess by the time I left that place. I mean, I didnt' believe God was the way preacher said god is...but still the brainwashing was still there & lived in terrible fear from the indoctrination. however I figured if I stayed I would die because my spirit was slowly dying in that oppressive place so I thought I'll take my chances & hope that god isn't the asshole prick like xpastor is.

 

You are right, they do make it sound so good...that their church is all about grace not religion! But then you find out they are just as sold out on their "religion/church" as any crazy ass religious nut job. I used to hear that crapola..."oh our church isn't about religion, we are about a relationship with jeezus.." yeah right. It's just another way to sell the wares to naive folk, as you say they just can't be honest about their intentions because people would see it for the bull shit that it is.

[GardenerGal]

Oh, this makes me cringe!!! I've been a part of some of those types of churches on the fringe. We really thought we were onto something.

 

I just watched a movie last night called "Higher Ground" ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1562568/ ). My church wasn't that strict but I still had flashbacks!

 

I am so glad we're out, NeverAgain!!!!!!!!!

 

MY FAVORITE MOVIE and one that truly gave me peace during my journey of doubt. So glad I am not the only one to know this one. Just love it.

[Peace]

Thanks for sharing your story NAV.

 

I've never been a part of a church like that. How awful.

 

I'll have to look up that movie Higher Ground.

[GardenerGal]

Thanks for sharing your story NAV.

 

I've never been a part of a church like that. How awful.

 

I'll have to look up that movie Higher Ground.

 

Oh, do. It gently tells the story of a woman who starts off early womanhood as a strong Christian and through the course, comes to doubt. It was beautifully, kindly told. For women like me, it was/is such a painful transition, and this film documented that.

[NeverAgainV]

Thanks Peace. Thanks GardenerGal.

 

I guess experiencing a horrible church cult acted as a vaccination for me because I'll never see bible religion or Christianity in the same way, ever. Others can probably relate to that.

 

I think too sometimes I can be harsh when more liberal or nicer xians defend their religion...it frustrates me that they don't see the other side of their sacred religion.

It's not a pretty site. I try to be compassionate, but when the abuses are not acknowledged or people act like everything with Christianity is good...I guess I can get pretty intense!

As I've seen others here do too.

Thanks for your kind comments