traveller2 Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 ...my walk I was told reliably that if you had some 'hole' in your life that you had tried to fill with drugs,sex,religion etc you would be dissapointed and that only Jesus could fill it and heal it. That of course is the testimony of many people and even as a christian it quickly got old to hear someone harping on about their sin filled life as a non christian until they got saved. Mine was not really that expereince except I tried to fill this mythic hole with new age stuff. I can't help but smile sometimes and get angry other times that now in my late 30's I am doing all the things that were not supposed to fill that 'hole' and unless I am much decieved I am expereincing great healing as a result.Perhaps age has helped.I am no longer the paranoid,anxious gen X'er that i was when I converted. What will the place I go to when I discover these things do not fill that hole anymore? I do not think that will be a problem.I think I will grow and change steadilyt and when tcertain things lose my interest I will naturally find other things.I do not ascribe to the catastrophic view of the evangelical testimony circuit that all honest human experience and search for joy is really some terrible search for meaning and is futile.Fuck that! Its just life.You do things and have expereinces,try and find a bit of happiness and enjoy yourself while your life is going good. Christianity had such a long list of things that were frowned on which were doors that demons could come through or 'sin' at least and ....well fuck know's what exactly was suppossed to happen to you.But they take everything from you that is good and give you nothiung to fill your life with except,church services,shite music,youth group,early twenties group,choir,prayer and reading your bible...and everything else in my brand of xtianity was bad.Computer games,sci fi and fantasy novels,drink of course and non christian girlfreinds,worldly music ,nightclubs,bars etc. then you find out on the other side that NONE of those things are bad.And for me personally they all lead onto great times,personal growth and freindships.It was all such BS. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted May 3, 2012 Moderator Share Posted May 3, 2012 I do not think that will be a problem.I think I will grow and change steadily and when certain things lose my interest I will naturally find other things......search for meaning and is futile. Its just life.You do things and have expereinces, try and find a bit of happiness and enjoy yourself while your life is going good. angus, you have made a really good point here. Whatever you do, everyday....day in, day out....eventually becomes a 'hole,' boring........Even church and god became boring.... Anything that is repetition can become mundane for me. I am the type of personality that needs to continue to find new things to keep me interested in life because like Solmon said himself in Eccletates....'It's all futile...chasing of the wind'. Jesus did fill that 'hole' for me for a while, but I got tired of playing.....'Let's play pretend'.....I needed real companionship, not a made up imaginary friend, lover.......... Good point today! Thanks for the reminder to get out there today in the world and do something different!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 ...then you find out on the other side that NONE of those things are bad. And for me personally they all lead onto great times, personal growth and freindships. It was all such BS. Same here Angus. The beginning of the end for me was tasting and savoring my humanity through good friends that were heathens. I increasingly could not reconcile the lies I'd come to believe and the reality I was seeing before my very eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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