CDFree Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I disapeared from here after signing up because stupidly I "believed" I wanted this Christian "thing" after all - stupid mistake - the person who I thought genuinely wanted to help me hurt me again and more. Christians why do you go out of your way to hurt folk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 They just can't help themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exevolt Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 They just can't help themselves. They can, they just choose not to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDFree Posted May 7, 2012 Author Share Posted May 7, 2012 No Christian replies, no great surprise I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoftIce Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 I'm so sorry CDFree. Religion often does so much more harm than good, especially when it's used as a means of manipulation. I think I can get where you could have been coming from. If you're like me, you get comfort from the idea of belonging to something bigger than yourself. It sounds like this person is super manipulative and preying on your needs and insecurities. I don't know why some christians act that way. I think a lot of the more fundamentalist ones have a really brittle faith in reality, where one little thing that puts a crack in it makes them feel like their entire world is threatened. It could come out of some warped sense of trying to 'save' you from yourself. That's the best I can think of. My aunt is like that, but not nearly as manipulative as some people I've come across. My humble advice is to get this person as far out of your life as you can, if possible. I don't know their relation to you, though. But they sound very toxic to me. I know how hard this can be if they were someone you were good friends with, or a family member, or if there are more than just one person that are like them. If you feel trapped, remember you still have this community, and you also have your mind and your innate moral structure. If it's telling you something is wrong, it's probably best to listen to it. If you feel like you need to explore the idea of spirituality, or of some kind of organized religion, I'd suggest you find liberal groups. If you feel like you just want to look at spirituality, my own personal suggestion is to read up on near death experiences. This just worked for me though, and I don't want to tell you what to do or not do. Either way, be safe, and keep your mental defenses up around this person. They sound like they're slick as snake oil. If you feel like they're trying to slink inside your head again, be sure to post and let us know. I'm a pretty gullible and naive person, so people that are manipulative are especially damaging to me. I think that's why I felt such a huge reaction to hearing that someone hurt you by most likely using some kind of manipulation. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 CDFree, it sounds like you've been really wounded by people you trusted. I'm sorry that happened. May I gently suggest that posting an open question to Christians on an ex-Christian site isn't going to net a lot of Christian responses? There are only like three feral Christians on this site who post regularly, and not a single one of them is equipped to answer these kinds of questions in any sort of meaningful way. And most of us ex-Cers are going to say something like "The person who hurt you did it because Christianity is far from a transforming faith and its followers are encouraged to prey upon the vulnerable" because that's been our own experience. I might also gently suggest that you learn to form effective personal boundaries so you don't open yourself up to getting hurt by people like that. Manipulators are really good at finding victims who don't know how to make boundaries. I don't mean to close or wall yourself off; that's just as bad as not having any boundaries at all. I mean just being aware of how intimate you are and should be with another person, how to tell when they're not a good target for spending your intimate revelations on, and how much you can safely share with them and when. A therapist can help you learn that skill, or there are plenty of books about it out there. It hurts to be used or victimized, but this incident can be a really good motivator to learn to keep it from happening again. Best wishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunaticheathen Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 To christians, we're not people, we're notches on the holy spook brownie points belt. When you don't fulfill their need to have you be another Jeebus point towards a McMansion in the sky, they turn like rabid dogs. They don't see you as an equal. That's the main problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDFree Posted May 13, 2012 Author Share Posted May 13, 2012 Akheia, I'm guessing you're American, Americans tend to run to therapists for everything - I don't need a therapist to teach me anything - we're made of sterner stuff in the UK lol Trust me no one manipulates CD LOL, it was what I thought I wanted at the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 Up to you of course Books can teach the skill as well. Experience can, but wow it takes a while and it's a laborious process. I'm all for a quick and permanent fix rather than a torturous, slow one that takes a few false starts to get established! But totally up to you. I've just seen a few cryptic posts like this and wonder if it's perhaps part of a larger pattern. I'm a problem-solver by nature. Support is not "fucked up people being all fucked up together in the same room." It's about saying hey, what brought this situation about and how can it be prevented next time--and more importantly how can I help with those two questions? If you don't need that, then keep calm and carry on, I suppose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spectrox Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 I disapeared from here after signing up because stupidly I "believed" I wanted this Christian "thing" after all - stupid mistake - the person who I thought genuinely wanted to help me hurt me again and more. Christians why do you go out of your way to hurt folk? Forgive them for they know not what they do (they're a tad ignorant) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 Glad you're here now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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