xandermac Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I've never completely came out at work as an atheist. Everyone knows I'm not a Christian but they don't really know I'm a total unbeliever. One woman I work with is such a sweet lady and I sometimes sing along when she's listening to gospel music. She just thinks I'm a "backslider" and she prays for me. We sometimes discuss the Bible (which she knows nothing about) and I have given her uplifting scriptures. I feel like a hypocrite. When I first deconverted I was angry and argued with everyone, but as the years past I've mellowed and excepted that I can't change peoples minds. Don't get me wrong I would still stand up to a fundie if they got in my face, but I'm just tired of being angry about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeasabird Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 There is a vast canyon between faking it and saying you are a Christian when you are not, and being an angry atheist. Personally, I'll discuss it with anyone who brings it up. If a stranger asks me if I go to church my answer is "no". If they were to ask any follow up questions after that (which haven't happened yet) atheism would probably come up. To sum it up, I have no intentions to lie about my beliefs or lack thereof, but I don't feel the need to evangelize about atheism either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 As my grandfather is 91, I indulge him. I don't see the point in needlessly distressing him so late in life. Otherwise, I don't hide my atheism. I think the anger phase is one most of us move through at some point. Just because I'm female, doesn't mean I'm an excellent housekeeper. Just because I'm an atheist, doesn't mean I'm angry. You get my drift? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peace Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 If no one's asking directly then I don't much see the point in making sure they know my stance on religion (though I am still in the closet to most family because I haven't figured out how to tell them). I figure their perception of me is really all about THEM and their own values. I feel that it's been a growing experience for me to let people live their own reality instead of trying to cram mine down their throat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConureDelSol Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 As a still-angry atheist who knows she's overreacting, it's sometimes hard to be so passive. My mind equates an old lady singing gospel music as "shoving it down my throat" and then I do one of these "silent rages". Usually, I do so many of these "silent rages" that eventually I explode and then everyone suddenly knows what I really think. It can be hard not to let through an eye-roll or snooty remark every now and then. Though lately I've just been trying to go with the flow as far as sermons and stuff. My mom likes to talk to me about how God's going to heal me all the time. I just nod and say okay. Maybe it's because I'm still so utterly surrounded and encased by Christianity that it's hard for me to mellow out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Maybe it's because I'm still so utterly surrounded and encased by Christianity that it's hard for me to mellow out. That was exactly what I thought when I read your post. You're surrounded by "god botherers"- you haven't had a chance to breathe yet, or just be yourself and say what you think. That's bound to mess with you. I can't wait until you are able to get out of that environment and start living life on your own terms. I think you'll have an absolute ball Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxie Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 When I lived in Georgia it would have been financial suicide to admit I was not christian. My husband and I owned a business and our customer base was Christian. Some man approached me once while I was in line at the grocery store check out and asked me if I had been saved. I told him, simply, "yes", which was technically true. I had been baptised twice, and by their own philosophy, "once saved, always saved" I techinically was saved. It saved a lot of harrassment in a small town in south Georgia to use this strategy. And there are relatives and dear friends that would be hurt and worried for my soul if I came out of the closet to them. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I've never completely came out at work as an atheist. Everyone knows I'm not a Christian but they don't really know I'm a total unbeliever. One woman I work with is such a sweet lady and I sometimes sing along when she's listening to gospel music. She just thinks I'm a "backslider" and she prays for me. We sometimes discuss the Bible (which she knows nothing about) and I have given her uplifting scriptures. I feel like a hypocrite. When I first deconverted I was angry and argued with everyone, but as the years past I've mellowed and excepted that I can't change peoples minds. Don't get me wrong I would still stand up to a fundie if they got in my face, but I'm just tired of being angry about it. I don't think atheists have any doctrine they are required to follow nor a religious leader to disappoint so how can you really be a hypocrite? haha. There ARE uplifting scriptures in the bible and you can share them. But if you claim to base your life on the bible and Jesus and demonstrate behavior to the contrary, that's hypocrisy. But what person can follow doctrine to a tee? Nobody, really. Nor does anyone want to. Nor would it be legal (stoning your children, etc). So I suppose everyone is a hypocrite in some way. Thank goodness we aren't all robots following each and every tenet of our belief system (or non-belief system). But the important thing if anyone calls you a hypocrite is to lift up the middle finger of justice and point it at them. :-) And as long as you keep your religious beliefs private then any accusations of hypocrisy are unfounded. If you lay no claim to anything you cannot be a hypocrite. But the bottom line of hypocrisy is that it is quite LEGAL so share some bible verses with your friend then pull out a porn magazine and have fun...lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Yes, I do fake it around certain people. Some people would come unhinged if they knew I practiced witchcraft! People at work thought I was a Hindu or Buddhist as I read a lot of that kind of material and they never got upset but our workplace was highly controlled as far as 'harassment' went. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exevolt Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I used to but I don't care anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Nah, Xander, you are no hypocrite. You have just moved past the anger, that's all. Isn't it enough that they realize you are not a Christian? Why push it? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunaticheathen Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 This is pretty much me now, except I'm not an atheist. I am pagan, but I don't bring it up unnecessarily, nor do I lie about my beliefs when asked. I will offer only a minimum of information, most of the time, especially at work. I am no longer angry either, and I find that just letting the petty god-bothering shit go does me far more good. Don't get me wrong, if a fundie decides to get in my face about something, s/he will end up in a world of hurt, but if others let it lie, I do the same. Besides, around here, I pretty much keep to myself, and will until I move far far away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
projecthappy Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 The only person I purposely hide it from is my grandma, because she is older and I feel it would be too shocking or disappointing for her. But I think that effort failed to some degree because my mom, out of her anger towards me, tries to involve her in it. So I have had to tell her some things like, "I don't feel like acting like a Christian right now in my life", as a way to leave that suggestion of hope without being overtly dishonest. It sucks but it is what it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Droptail Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 I guess if anyone were ever under the impression that I was still a Christian, I'd disabuse them of that notion pretty quickly. But, in the circles I'm part of, people either already know, or the subject doesn't come up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wester Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 I can do a great impersonation of a Unitarian. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedAtheist Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 I guess I employ the good old "give as little info as possible without lying" method. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 As my grandfather is 91, I indulge him. I don't see the point in needlessly distressing him so late in life. Otherwise, I don't hide my atheism. I think the anger phase is one most of us move through at some point. Just because I'm female, doesn't mean I'm an excellent housekeeper. Just because I'm an atheist, doesn't mean I'm angry. You get my drift? I have to hide my agnostic atheist status from my grandparents and bible-thumping aunts and uncles (especially my grandparents). My very religious great-grandmother passed away without ever finding out, and that was the one case that hiding my ex-C status from was the most important. I love my grandparents too much to put them through that kind of distress, as well. It would be a disaster if the fundie members of my family (aunts and uncles) found out, as they would immediately report it to my grandparents out of "concern for my soul" (as if my grandparents could do anything about it). Even if I begged them not to put my grandparents through the distress, they would do it anyway. That's how fundie my family is. Jay-bus comes before human feelings. After my grandparents are gone, my proverbial gloves will come off and the family will probably fracture off into its own fundie branches with my mother's branch being the "black sheep liberal" branch. To quote a video game (Chrono Trigger): "What a sad state of affairs." That's pretty much my plan, too. Got a couple of fundie aunts that would go straight to grandpa- one out of spite (she hates that I'm part of the family), the other to "win back my soul". Let grandpa live out his last days in peace, I say. Vipers are already eyeing off his house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 I guess I employ the good old "give as little info as possible without lying" method. Go ahead, lie. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 15, 2012 Super Moderator Share Posted May 15, 2012 I politely decline without explanation any request to pray over a meal. I thank those who say they will pray for me unless it's to 'save' me. I don't challenge their silly religious rants about 'Godless America' unless they are particularly hateful and I'm in a mood. I don't advertise or preach the Atheist Gospel. But fake it? No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 I guess I employ the good old "give as little info as possible without lying" method. Pretty much my tactic too JA. And it's fairly easy to do because I don't care. Religion, God/gods, the whole thing seems increasingly like an irrelevant distraction. I was speaking with my stepdad the other day, and he mentioned a couple of times about how God acted in his life and mine, as if it was some really big important thing. And I just didn't give two flips about his sentiments or thoughts or any of that. He seemed small to me, insignificant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelHappy Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 I still fake it around a bunch of people, many of my friends are devout christians and I don't want to throw away friendships because I no longer believe. Well by fake it, I just mean I avoid talks about religion or when they talk about religion I nod my head but don't respond much. They know I quit going to church, and I figure thats enough for now. I shouldn't admit this but besides, I'm slightly worried that one day I might realize that I'm wrong, that god is real and then I'd regret deconverting them. I cant imagine this happening but my old fear of hell is too ingrained in me so I do have that fear of being wrong and sending people I love to hell with me. I guess i"m willing to take the risk with my life but not with my friends. How many other people have these hangups? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeasabird Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 How many other people have these hangups? For a while my wife played pascal's wager with our son, saying she "didn't want to take the chance" of not giving him Christian religious instruction. She eventually got over it and has since (so far) made a full separation from religion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peace Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 I can do a great impersonation of a Unitarian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voice Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I did once. It was a contract job for $4000 or something, for a week's work. He was evangelizing me, I faked it, and I got paid. Later though, when his friends brought me a copy of the Mormon bible from him, I didn't let them in. I took it because I hadn't read it, and I heard it's good fiction. His daughter had me thinking about faking conversion though. Holy shit. She'll be a perfect wife for someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrailBlazer Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I'm a great actress. If I perceive it beneficial to a person to pretend like I'm a Christian and offer them some words or advice from a christian perspective, I'm not above doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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