mcdaddy Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 For my money its gotta be Revelation. So freaking dumb. It almost didn't make the cut into the canon, not that that means shit anyways. NOBODY knows what the fuck it's talking about. But everyone knows its a mental terror fuck job book. These asshats like LeHaye and Jenkins think they know what some 1st-2nd century anonymous soothsayer whack job is talking about. 6 headed beasts, killer wasps, wtf. I know a lot of it is symbolism, astrology etc but it's still fuckin crazy. Jesus at the beginning with hair on fire, a Nite Brite glowing face, seriously?? All this after the Jesus in mark was just a pretty normal guy? Damn that legend grew like a mother fucker!! Then at the end he comes riding in on a white horse and breathes fire and shit. "Lasers" (Dr. Evil voice) and shit comin out his fuckin eyes like Godzilla. Nuckin Futs EDIT: and BTW, the "revelation" was meant to be the FIRST EVER revelation of Jesus. It's not based on any earthly Jesus that roamed Palestine. The Greek word for revelation meant something revealed for the FIRST TIME, not a re-revealing of some Palestinian Jew preacher. The earliest Christians thought this Son of God would be revealed for the first time at the end of the world. They knew nothing of the Jesus of the gospels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherJosh Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Agreed on Revelation. Also, any of the passages or portions of OT books that list the overly dry lists of genealogies. THAT is the illuminating and amazingly awe inspiring Word of God? Listing familial relations? Not, you know, cures to cancer or HIV...just a list of who begat who...powerful stuff. The LOTR appendices are more interesting than that. You can tell, because I've never heard a sermon on all the begetting. Imagine you're an all powerful God, and for some reason you've chosen to have your knowledge imparted into a book. What would you choose to put in there? Physics equations, powerful poetry, great scientific truths, or a bunch of vacation photos from the Grand Canyon? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelHappy Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 I find revelations fun and full of nice imagery. The book I think is the stupidest would be Leviticus with its retarded bird blood for mold type of home cures and 30 different types of animal sacrifices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Leviticus gets my vote too, although Revelation is pretty trippy. Thanks to Hal Lindsey I lost my childhood to fear of, well, everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merck Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 I actually like Revelation. As a Christian, it always bothered me that God was so cruel but after learning a bit of Greek and the history behind the text, it makes for a fascinating read. The TL;DR is basically Rome sucks but we can eventually bring about change and help set up heaven on Earth. It's really too bad that Lindsey and LeHaye and their ilk have perpetuated the dispensationalist theology to further their own insane socio-political ideals and make a killing on book sales. It really turned a book that could have been interpreted as a call for social justice into a book of nightmares. As far as the worst book, it's Leviticus by far. All that "If you bring a grain offering baked in an oven, it is to consist of fine flour: cakes made without yeast and mixed with oil blah blah..." and all those other mundane details about offering and sacrifices only to say you don't care about sacrifice a few centuries later. Please tell me more about your unchanging god. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thackerie Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Job was the first book that caused me to question religion ... when I was a mere child. Made me think, if god would allow/encourage Satan to so mistreat the most righteous person in the world, none of the rest of us have a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator buffettphan Posted May 22, 2012 Super Moderator Share Posted May 22, 2012 I had a problem right from the get-go in Genesis when "god" ordered Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. I was about 4 or 5 years old when I first heard that lovely buybull story and it terrorized me. I spent months asking every adult -- my parents, my aunts and uncles, strangers in the grocery store -- if they would kill their kids if god told them to. Fortunately the answers were all "no" or I would have been really screwed up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelHappy Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 I had a problem right from the get-go in Genesis when "god" ordered Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. I was about 4 or 5 years old when I first heard that lovely buybull story and it terrorized me. I spent months asking every adult -- my parents, my aunts and uncles, strangers in the grocery store -- if they would kill their kids if god told them to. Fortunately the answers were all "no" or I would have been really screwed up. I remember once taking an old girlfriend to church who was perhaps religious but not a christian and she had went her entire life having never heard the story of Abraham and how Yahweh had commanded Abram to take his son Issac up a mountain and sacrifice him. I remember the pastor preaching with great admiration about how this great sacrifice was required of Abram, and how without hesitation Abram obeyed God, my ex just had a look of horror, how could this loving and benevolent God require such a thing from his creation, how could anyone look at this story with anything but horror, this wasn't a story to be admired but to be held with contempt. Of course the story goes right before Abram plunged the knife into Issac an angel stopped him and Abram sacrificed a goat instead, but the shock remained. To see someone's reaction who hasn't spent their entire life listening to those stories was kind of eye opening, its different when you grow up with them and think their normal, I later thought back at just how many absurd stories I accepted but never really thought about (I mean god kills his son for the salvation of mankind, how absurd and offensive is that?). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chikirin Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 My least favorite is "Esther" My favorites were Genesis, Joshua, and Judges. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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